"41205, just a number that I really like"

what the fuck was up with that ending ong like first you make me bawl like a baby and then you do that

ai the somniun files was on my watch for some time now due to me actually having been accustomed to kaname date porn on rule34 and actually wanting to explore more of this character apart from him getting railed like a slut

that being said this is an investigative game made with 2 dimes and a beer to anyone who's interested in doing the character animation which is very bare as I can tell but not for that reason less charming

while I do think this game has a lot of rough edges and the pacing isn't always the smoothest (just a few points though so nothing of note) this was such a fucking treat for its 20 hours runtime what the fucking hell

you play as date who's a hunk of a man absolutely delicious looking pervert tit aficionado part of the police department in the subunit of abis where they explore human minds through dreams via a machine that acts as a bridge for the investigator consciousness to creampie the host

that's easier when you play it than it is to explain it but basically this is just the usual excuse for some investigation tricks and minigames and a damn good plot device for the entirety of the mystery at hand I have never seen paprika till now even though I probably should but I think the main premise is basically the same but paprika doesn't have kaname date so clearly it's the lesser experience

now this plays a lot similar to a danganronpa game but without the over the top character designs and writing substituted by a more muted cast of characters who are some degree of insane or quirky or mad like the pretend they're not danganronpa characters but if you dig deep enough you will find that everyone can be matched with a character in danganronpa sick trick

you investigate you try to solve the mystery I don't have to tell you how a danganronpa game works the investigative parts are passable at best being more of a point and click affair more similar to a visual novel type of deal yknow ace attorney and shit and then the somnium segments who at first I thought were really good soon became a 999-puzzles type of deal where I just began to get irritated by them and look for a guide because they have no real cohesion whatsoever youre like lemme see what happens if I blow on this fan and then 120 seconds will go away and its not even the right action like how am I supposed to know what to do when this shit is completely insane

somehow I can say that they're pretty charming for how out there they are like some weird shit is gonna happen to aiba and youre gonna laugh but since its actually a dream its all good then you can steal the informations from the bad guys and alls well that ends well

so I guess that's the main gameplay loop it's not entirely my thing but I can live with that I definitely preferred the investigative bits because I'm more of a visual novel guy I like to sit back and see the story rolling instead im just not that much of a puzzle lover so the somnium stuff was kinda interesting but not entirely my thing and I actually struggle to call it puzzle because of the fact that its more trial and error-y than I'd like it to be honestly

while the investigative stuff is defo the highlight the characters actually tend to take the spotlight in this one since youre gonna have a lot of deep dive into the characterisation and psyche of these pixels and they all casually move around date I wonder what that means and mind you my favorite pals are iris being my sweet little ray of sunshine and mizuki being my sweet little sumo wrestler and aiba being my sweet little artificial intelligence I love the gals in this one I cannot lie and boss is also a good dominatrix to boot

story wise this can get a bit convoluted and stupid but DAMN is it not gripping and entertaining from beginning to end this one of those multiple endings type of narrative games but the catch is that it's more linear than I thought it'd be if you get in a route where you're not supposed to know some stuff the game is gonna gatekeep you from moving forward and you're gonna have to try and find the right route to unlock that one and then unlock another one and so on pretty good actually and you also get a flowchart I love flowcharts

so one second SPOILER TERRITORY I want to fuck falco also since this is the nick I use all the time it was pretty weird seeing the characters talk about this guy since I thought they were talking about me but at one point I was like wait I didnt have to put no name in the beginning and then the realisation that the guy is falco so as I was saying yeah I want to fuck him so hard but i mean he's also date but date is not date because he's the son of the congressman and date is not falco anymore because it's his deadname now LISTEN this game gets fucking convoluted I enjoyed a lot the little progression and the series of murders and shit here and there but the final revelation of the body swapping gets real confusing real fast sure it's pretty charming and fucked up and needs you to do a lot of suspension of disbelief to actually get ingrained into the whole affair but it pays off uchikoshi wrote a real treat of a sci-fi flavored crime mystery and I cannot really say any bad words about it

some routes hit more than the others or have more meat in terms of story than the rest but when you put them all together you can understand why this game was such a hit honestly and to zero escape fans returning this is gonna be up they're alley

while the body swapping thing gets real crazy I actually digged the whole falco backstory with iris and hitomi that shit was fire and made me lose all the hair on my head im not gonna fuck with you here those were some real good story beats

this is such a fucking ride from beginning to end its so serious at times and so incredibly silly at others but that's the charm of it all youre gonna get somebody talking about terminal illnesses and date will say oh my god boobs also what's up with date being a sex freak while I'm literally here waiting for him to ride me I don't get it

that being said the highs are high and this game makes you care for its characters too damn much you could find me crying for half of the endings in the games because theres nothing that hurts me more than making me emotionally attached to a character and then seeing them suffer through every evil in the world why would you make me so sad and thats without putting into the equation all the falco x hitomi x iris scenes with all the backstories and shit likeeee it's so fucking sad don't talk to me

final consideration the music is bomb

side note I find it very funny that mizuki has the orichalcum trident in the mermaid cafe and then I realised that's because she's been neglected by her family and she just kept going there not to be alone and then it wasn't funny anymore

and ota route HIT

I read about someone bashing sex humor don't you ever say that to me ever again sex humor is the funniest shit ever don't @ me

"i had a beautiful dream" iris i just wanted you to be happy

I don't generally like being vulnerable, publicly. Even my most personal write-ups tend to be at least a little bit structured to guide around pain points that I'd rather not disclose, boiling down thoughts to more readable ideas that I don't need to haunt me. I don't really have that luxury today.

My uncle died yesterday, and we were close enough to where today I woke up staring up at the ceiling regretful, toiling around in my own head with a fog of thoughts that even now still permeates. I went through the rest of the day so far trying desperately to act as if nothing happened, driving with FFXIV music blaring out the car speakers, taking care of responsibilities with the best smile I could feign. Then I got home, and loaded up this game again, drawn to it searching for comfort. After an hour I started rewatching cutscenes, reading things about the game again trying to reexperience the same feelings that brought me solace. The game's chock full of them after all, with a dying man sitting at the bench with you giving last thoughts on a world and life he knows has dealt him the worst hand, to a scummy kid who is envious of his brother and still is even after his death not realizing how much he's trying to fill that hole in his heart that's been left. An old couple welcomes me in with smiles on their faces as they continue to grieve, just my presence being enough to remind them of what once was, but still they look forward hopeful.

I'm crying again as I attach myself to these stand-ins for loss, those depressing but not lonesome stories that help me grieve on my own time. This aura permeates through the entire narrative, as characters not so much different from my feelings of today pull off the same images of trying to act like everything's ok, and even the most naive cocky individual of the party has to come to terms with a hospitalized lover who he now wishes more than ever that he could've spent just one more minute with. I wish I had more time too, the last memory of my uncle is going to be me moving around stuff in his house while he can barely move about his home, and then after helping when he offers me and another sibling to stay and watch a movie with him, I say that I have to go home as it's getting too dark to drive. I still don't know whether my leaving was out of apathy, or cowardice, and I don't know which is worse.

And this game rejects apathy, it pushes to understand these feelings I struggle with today, an ENTIRE cult founded to bring the fall of all is juxtaposed with a desire from those who have suffered the most to keep living. A disgusting choice is thrusted towards the player and what's best isn't to remain ignorant but it is to defy this fucking downfall. It's hopeful, in the end, not wallowing in sorrow, even when the ending is still painful.

Not to say that this is a perfect simulacrum of these discordant thoughts, the combat ensues listlessness even in this version that tries to right wrongs of the flawed original. You walk multiple floors fighting enemies on passable at best strategies thinking about how it'd be nice if we were back several minutes ago to feel feelings at a scene again. There's even what would become late Atlus's problematic bullshit with hots-for-teachers and terrible handlings of lgbt, and that only spreads more poison over time for me. It just makes me angry, bile held and punches I wish I could throw at something other than air.

But the game still very much speaks to me, just putting out these thoughts after every couple minutes of tears and thinking of what this MEANS to me, what it represents, what it is, is helpful. I don't know if I can entirely recommend, or hope that the same will stand true for most individuals, not that it matters I guess. Please spend time with your loved ones if you can, I'm surely about to drive once more to be with family and mourn together while I still struggle not to fall myself.

Final Fantasy X is The Room of video games.

Hands down the funniest, most honest and charming video game I have ever played, perpetuating its inseparable awkwardness in every corner, proudly displaying its clashing hits and misses everywhere while being always entertaining along the way. From some Quandale Dingle character designs, to the unfinished yet peculiar Blitzball, to the irredeemably frustrating dungeons, to the messy yet sometimes Lynchian cutscenes at every corner, it more than compensates the ride by surprisingly always finding a way to make me care about what’s happening. The amount of times in which I ended up laughing at a supposedly serious moment while still feeling invested in knowing what outcome it will take, is too much to even consider counting.

Absolutely no other title would make me waste almost 2 hours restarting a completely bullshit poorly explained optional RNG minigame just to see Wakka, a character I barely knew anything about at that point, holding a shitty Playmobil looking trophy and giving a short fiddly speech for 50 seconds. All because the way in which he told me, with the world’s straightest face, that he never actually won a single match in 10 fucking years, was simply hysterical.

When someone compared it to Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece, it became one of those weird sentences that sounds right, so you agree first, leaving you to ponder whether or not it actually makes sense a couple of minutes later. Most of the time, Final Fantasy X portrays expressions and sentiments in a way that nearly always feels off, at one point even accidentally recreating the iconic shop scene with O’aka in a scene that was supposed to be nothing but mundane. Not only that, but also odd stylistic choices (say thank you Nomura Based God), subliminal pre-rendered interiors of houses and shops, bizarre hyper fascination with the fictional ‘soccered-up’ water polo and some mixes of postmodern economical practices in a world that by all means shouldn’t need them. To properly talk about the loveable sincerity of it all, let’s talk about what FFX’s really famous for.

Tidus laugh scene, is an absurdly famous bit in the gaming community, because of how bonkers the voice acting is, in that one specific moment. Late 00’s gamer culture fabricated the notion that Final Fantasy X was filled with uncanny valley moments that failed to understand how human beings communicate and feel, which was the standard for the amateurish voice acting present in the previous early 3D generation, in particular the english translated ones from japanese titles. The loveable yet amateurish delivery from Resident Evil and the outlandishly cartoonish cutscenes from Sonic Adventures, live rent free in our nostalgia filled hearts, just like this one continuous string of Haha’s. What fails to be stated is that unlike the previously mentioned ones, this iconic moment is legitimately a great scene despite it all.

If you watched the segment fully without playing FFX(spoilers ahead btw), everything feels weird, even if the laugh was to be a normal one. The scene kicks off with Yuna trying to impress THE BOUNCER the protagonist by whistling for whatever reason, and once she realizes he’s sad, she replies with “Wanna scream?”. Without the proper knowledge that he tried to teach her how to whistle if she got in danger (to which she failed previously), and that he screamed out of frustration after his current time travel situation finally kicked in, their relationship even before the meme properly starts feels outlandish and perhaps even childishly written. After that, Yuna does a small info dump and tells him to laugh his problems off, to which he glamorously does, only for her to reply with “You probably shouldn’t laugh anymore.” and immediately joining in with the ridiculousness of it all. But why?

Having full context of her speech and the mortal fate of those who follow the pilgrimage, the way in which she states “I want my journey to be filled with laughter” and even the reason to which she tried to mimic his horrible pattern only to repeat the same words about protecting each other by whistling, just hits different. The rest of the party is probably aware of the situation, but all they can do is stare, fully knowing that despite being marked for certain death, Yuna still tries to demonstrate companionship for someone she just met. Whether she knew that Tidus had no idea of what’s in store for her is irrelevant, as they both seem to be having a great time in the journey together, and that’s what matters in the end, right? That being said, the unnecessary camera movement, lack of context for some sentences, and the alien sounds being emitted as laughs, really add up, perhaps connecting your neurons to remind you of a certain scene that also fails in the same ways.

Some people like to refer to artistic projects as being soul or souless, usually talking about the intent of the ones behind it trying to express themselves in their own artistic ways more than to just generate profit. When I referred to FFX earlier as being the most honest, I meant that a lot of elements that the game gets it wrong come from the fact that choices were made to prioritize the title having a unique identity throughout the years, to which they completely nailed it. Early titles for a console have to be different to cause an impact for the newer generation to come, both from the console and from their developers, after all, if it’s just more of the same, why even bother? This title was a lot of people’s first Jrpg back in the day, and the overall reception being overwhelmingly positive for its impressive attention to care set the standard for what the ones born into the 6th generation of games would enjoy in the genre for the foreseeable future.

When you combine every area that wasn’t as fully realized, it’s impossible to not look back with a smile, for just like an actual ride, the only important part is being an unforgettable experience. Glancing back at the laugh scene once again, aren’t you glad it is exactly how it is? No boring back and forth camera wise, no run of the mill voice acting, no usual clarity in dialogue, just two friends that just met having an awkward talk. Exactly how it is, exactly how it should be.

Intention over execution is sometimes all that a piece of art needs. It’s the reason movies like Southland Tales or albums like Metal Machine Music, despite receiving mixed and polarizing ratings by critics and fans alike, are still discussed to this day: They have a strong and memorable identity in their remarks. Most people would rather endure through a fun mess over something whose production is decent, but not even close when regarding uniqueness. Movies like House are such a delightful unexpected journey to see even with the dated effects because of its untamed artistically wild originality, while others like Morbius will need (at least) a pirated webcam movie rip, 8 friends or enemies on vc, and a hellspawn creature that keeps making jokes about reverse morbing for the entire fucking movie like oh my god it’s been 1 hour stop already you’re accidentaly spoiling the movie c’mon.

Final Fantasy X isn’t the best at anything it does when compared to others from the series (it’s not even my favorite final fantasy to discuss), but when you combine everything that it displays, it’s hard not to just immerse yourself fully in this world, embracing the well crafted pre dystopian religious world to its limits. I wish Final Fantasy X had a way to go back to previous areas, had a better realized blitzball system, had puzzles that were less annoying, had non cheesy/grindy ways to beat the final boss, a better Al Bhed dictionary system… and the list could go on forever. But you know what I don’t wish was changed? The Second Life characters designs, the tight unilateral areas, the cutscenes that always look wet for some reason, the superfluous affection system, the wiggly dialogue angles… and the list could also go on forever.

Appreciating the title nowadays may be harder as our goblin gamer brain has less and less attention span, but it’s an effort totally worth trying. The game plays out like a 1 hour and 30 min animation that cuts 80% of the adventure in a 3 minutes bonding scenes montage, but here we are treated to it in its full narrative, with plenty of foreshadows along the way. I’m glad to have devoted myself to participating in Yuna's pilgrimage, while also closing the game glad that it was all over for them in that way. The magic of X, is managing a yin and yang of competence while making sure you never feel bored, fully embracing the early 2000’s tropical bling that the period had to offer.