17 reviews liked by urmom69420


I have around 20 hours of just opening this game and playing for about 10 minutes because it made me sleepy, but I mean this in a good way, I suffered from insomnia back in 2018/2019.

My first Civ, be nice to me.
The game feels little lost and suffocated by its own tangled web of subsystems that don't feel naturalistically enveloped by what is almost fundamentally brilliant. It doesn't bear much surprise to learn that most of these rather clumsy or extraneous mechanics were added in post-release updates and expansions, but can mercifully be disabled. I'm particularly un-fond of world hazards, congress, loyalty, and governers to name a few. There is every possibility I'll see the light and turn these on when my aptitude for this game builds up though honestly.

As the ball gets rolling it really is shockingly fun, I'm a fan of the inclusion of different methods to win games beyond just pure warlord domination. Culture and diplomacy make me feel like a devious little worm shmoozing my way under people's noses, it's great, and I'm excited to figure out whatever the deal is with faith. Science was apparently hit by the ugly stick in VI specifically - its victory requirements are kind of insane, require a lot of planning from turn one, and seem like a dull grind as you hope your opponents are just doing nothing.

A personal standout surprise here is the character animation for all of the leaders. This shit's better than Pixar I swear to god, excellent attention to detail in the subtle face and finger movements. Nobody in a videogame more expressive than Kupe.

Never played a Civilization game before so this was all new to me. It ended up being a pretty great game to play over the covid summer of 2020. Having someone to play with certainly made it better as we were pretty addicted to playing turn after turn. Hope I return someday to try out the expansions!

I don’t know what the fcuk I’m doing

It is definitely a game that had me addicted. To this day, still the only 4x game I'll ever touch and I think that deserves credit. I found myself really involved in roleplaying in the world and it found itself quickly skyrocketing to the highest game on my Steam Playtime (still is as of writing this). Today, I struggle to get back into it due to time commitment, but I definitely could re-engage deeply if given the opportunity.

== Expansions ==
Utopia: 5/5 literally an essential piece of the puzzle, without this the whole game would crash in on itself
Apocalypse: 3/5 Pretty fun, but rarely a massive implement in my runs, only really adding the Great Khan if nothing else
Megacorp: 5/5 My favorite DLC, Megacorps are my favorite thing in the game period
Federations: 4/5 Another banger, but a little overpacked
Nemesis: 2/5 Very mid addition, most of the mechanics are easily forgettable
Overlord: 3/5 Pretty good, but just Federations Part 2
Galactic Paragons: 4/5 has a lot of cool things but is knee-capped by semi-poor integration, cool ideas tho

== Story Packs ==
Leviathans: 4/5 Really fun mini-bosses, not much else
Synthetic Dawn: 4/5 I forgot this was a DLC, but it is pretty good for options
Distant Stars: 3/5 for the 3 music packs in this, because i don't know what else is in this
Ancient Relics: 2/5 While I think it's fun for mid-game boredom, the actual things you get from this dlc break the game, since artifacts are broken as s***
First Contact: 4/5 So far, sick af, great new mechanics that flesh out the pre-FTL system

== Species Packs ==
Plantoids: 3/5 they look nice, adds some civics and traits
Humanoids: 2/5 mostly garbage, only worth it for the origin
Lithoids: 4/5 Best species pack
Necroids: 3/5 Pretty fun, but very limited in its use
Aquatics: 4/5 Pretty damn fun, the origins are sick af
Toxoids: 4/5 The best bang for your buck pack, even if most of the stuff is mid


I know that marking this as ‘Completed’ when I’ve only seen two ensign-difficulty medium-galaxy campaigns through to the end is a bit like saying I ‘completed’ Chess after playing a few rounds with my Uncle Jerry at Christmas, but I feel like I’ve seen enough to close the book.

The Dune novels were my impetus for finally checking out the grand strategy genre, and it’s funny that Stellaris kinda has the same problem Frank Herbert did when he wrote all those sequels - nothing can match the initial excitement of starting out in your world, watching statecraft through your awed junior eyes, becoming a man and starting a galactic crusade of your own with nothing but good intentions. Castro famously said that the true revolution begins when the enemy is overthrown and you have the seat of power; the story of Dune begins to lose itself when the grand idea of “Paul Muad'Dib“ has to sit on a throne and run a government.

The early game of Stellaris is fun because of - and in spite of - its truly insane insistence that you micromanage every element of the universe you dream of. When things began, I was clicking on menus and tabs and fleets of ships like I was playing fuckin Starcraft on semuta, dealing with ethical and moral dilemmas left-right-centre-to-infinity-and-beyond like I was fuckin Jean-Luc Picard on spice melange… It was awesome! But inevitably in the mid-game and late-game (I assume my definition of “lategame” here is like a tiny fraction of what a pro Stellaris player can simulate with political campaigning and trade deals and military management), things bottom out and the universe becomes a static blueprint of starlight that resembles a classic European trade map more than the endless expanse of new possibilities you wanted to explore - I didn’t expect that the Year 3500 would look so much like today. I understand from reading online that the expansions flesh things out more, but dude… that’s like £100! And this game already kinda feels like the spreadsheets I fill out at work!!

Towards the end of Dune: Messiah, Paul Atreides internally remarks that being God Emperor of the universe - an all-knowing superhuman across space-time - is the most boring thing imaginable to his perfect Mentat Bene Gesserit intellect. In that sense, Stellaris was able to fulfil its role as the Dune-like experience I was looking for.

feel your eyes glaze over in real time!

Paradox exploded in popularity with the arrival of Stellaris back in 2017, a combination of 4K strategy with RTS elements and galaxy-wide stories to both discover and create. The game boasts a complex sci-fi world where you can spread across the galaxy, conquer worlds with military might, or create diplomatic peace.

Since then the game has become complicated by Federations, MegaCorps, doomsday weapons, megastructures, many new species, and a vast number of changes to the base gameplay. Some of these are unobtrusive additions while others change the gameplay entirely with additions like the Federations being highly controversial due to how it obstructs gameplay.

For me personally, playing Stellaris has become more of a chore as time goes on. The biggest DLC additions seems to bloat the game for anyone but the most hardcore players, and if I do manage to settle on a species and start playing then it always begins quite cosy but within an hour it transforms into a game about managing armies, governing sectors, and a flurry of micromanagement as pops, edicts, and resources demand your attention.

Maybe I'm in it for the wrong reasons, but all the early game stuff that fascinates me gets so overwhelmed by all the mid and late game nonsense that I just don't want to deal with and can't seem to avoid. I wish I could enjoy it more though because it has such great atmosphere to begin with.

"Do you remember the time when we went for a walk and had a really romantic experience and looked up at the stars? Why didn't you kiss me?"

didn't wanna

1 list liked by urmom69420