Reviews from

in the past


Saw this game for sale recently as a Switch port. Wild.

Were these games good? No. Was I obsessed with them because of the pun? 100%

I used to work in a cinema and one day a guy was in installing and setting up our new tills and during conversation with him he revealed to me he was a programmer on James Pond 2, and I think it was genuinely the first time I'd ever been starstruck.


One of the more well-worn arguments that pops up on this site from time to time is the question of whether games 'age'. True to my obsessive-compulsively indecisive nature my stance in somewhere in the middle; bad game design is bad game design no matter when the game came out, but decades of evolution and learning from past mistakes mean that older games can feel badly-designed or amateurish in ways that modern games rarely do.

Robocod is a classic example of 'old game' design, with its slippery controls, lack of mercy invincibility, odd hit detection and plentiful 'gotcha' moments. Yet it has a certain charm to it, feeling like it was just as much a game for the programmers as it is for the player. Why are there dozens upon dozens of different types of collectibles - is it really just for the lols? Is that a giant teddy bear with spikes on its ass? Did the devs realize that some powerups carry over between sublevels and can be used to trivialize or even bypass entire levels?

Yes, yes, and it doesn't really matter. Despite it's many warts, I found Robocod to be very playable. Maybe it's because it hearkens back to a time when what constituted 'good design' had yet to be codified and you never really knew what to expect from a game. Or maybe I just like dad puns.

Oh jeez this is a mess of a game. Its clear that all the attention to level design and playability was stacked into the first half of the game as those levels are fun, breezy, full of charm, hidden secrets and are generall enjoyable to zoom around.

Second half? Absolutely not. Everything gets more and more mazelike as levels just get jammed full of dead-ends, collectables thrown around like dollar bills at a strip joint and enemies and spike traps thrown around without any concern for fairness. Its a slog.

RoboCod is bougie scum and shall be the first to die when the revolution comes.

James Pond 2 es un videojuego de plataformas al mas puro estilo Mario pero con varias particularidades interesantes, la mas destacable, podremos estirar el cuerpo y agarrarnos al techo para avanzar por el mismo. Con una ambientación navideña y unos colores y diseños bonitos, James Pond 2 no es para nada un videojuego infantil, teniendo niveles de dificultad considerable. Mi agente pez favorito James Pond tendrá que detener de nuevo al Dr Maybe, que está usando juguetes para convertirlos en armas. Empezaremos el juego en un par de edificios con muchas puertas, cada puerta es un nivel y a veces podremos elegir mas de uno (también hay niveles secretos, por ejemplo, el del hueco del tejado arriba del todo) La música es muy buena (siempre me ha flipado el tema de la intro, que versiona el tema principal de Robocop)
En definitiva, un videojuego de plataformas excelente, de los mejores de su tiempo, y muy divertido, que mejora considerablemente a la primera entrega. Es un videojuego de mi infancia y uno de mis favoritos. Una pequeña curiosidad, su creador es Chris Sorrell, el mismo de Medievil.
Muy recomendable.

I lay awake at night thinking about this game.
I played it in childhood, yet it only appears in my mind as a hazy nightmare.
Therapy will never fix what this game did to me. I am a broken man and it's because of THIS FUCKING GAME.

Feels like a generic ocean platformer with very colorful graphics, slippery controls, bad level design and a billion items to collect within each stage. The most mediocre cookie cutter platformer there is. Crazy how this got a physical release on switch

Fairly certain I played this on the GBA

Was decently fun but strange and also difficult as fuck

charming, weird-ass platformer with some very frustrating design as it goes