BULLSHITBLAZING
2014
>Survival Horror Game with no New Game Plus
2005
Over 15 years old and still shits on most games released after it.
If the remake is ditching the sillier aspects then it needs to be to third person shooters in the 2020s what this was for them in the mid 2000s.
If the remake is ditching the sillier aspects then it needs to be to third person shooters in the 2020s what this was for them in the mid 2000s.
The best 2D Mario game.
If GU didn't have the early parts of Gen that would easily be the best Monster Hunter, but as it stands this reigns supreme over all of them. An incredible flagship with Gore (if you ignore this being the expansion where Seregios is the real flagship), broke ass CB, the absurd story that's way cooler than it has any right to be.
Apex Monsters suck and are a blight, but everything else rules.
Apex Monsters suck and are a blight, but everything else rules.
I'm so pissed I'll never get to experience this for the first time ever again.
Objectively better than the first game.
Lacks some of the quirks and the forward leap for the series that made 4U such a wonderful game, but more than makes up for it in content and its own brand of anime MHFO esque insanity.
Features amongst many things a Carnotaurus that sharpens its tail to heat it up, a massive cuttlefish that uses corpses to conceal its true form, loli cat girl singing an idol tune for the ending cutscene (???), weapon ults and options to configure the style of gameplay into 4 separate styles (some that even revert weapons to Freedom Unite era combos) each with their own advantages and disadvantages, and super kaiju tier versions of monsters that will test every single bit of skill you acquire over the games length. And this do be one hell of a girthy game.
Features amongst many things a Carnotaurus that sharpens its tail to heat it up, a massive cuttlefish that uses corpses to conceal its true form, loli cat girl singing an idol tune for the ending cutscene (???), weapon ults and options to configure the style of gameplay into 4 separate styles (some that even revert weapons to Freedom Unite era combos) each with their own advantages and disadvantages, and super kaiju tier versions of monsters that will test every single bit of skill you acquire over the games length. And this do be one hell of a girthy game.
GU was an absolute power move of a game. Motherfucker comes in full force with probably the best expansion entry of the franchise. Valstrax more than steals the show as the cover monster and the secondary flagship Bloodbath Diablos is one of the most extreme fights ever put into a non Frontier Monster Hunter.
Two new styles are added into this alongside some new Deviants for the rest of the Fated Four; Valor and Alchemy. While the latter I haven't used much the former on the other hand...and as someone who pretty much mains Valor Great Sword almost exclusively that shit is THE SHIT. It's so hype I sometimes find myself preferring it to World's GS moveset. Dat dash bro, DAT FUCKIN DASH. Features one of the best and most genuinely surprising final bosses in the entire franchise with Ahtal-Ka.
The only thing that truly kinda sucks about this is that you still have to play through the weaker first third of Generations to access the incredible high rank village and G-Rank gathering hub quests, but when you do and that's all you're doing leaving behind silly garbage like killing 50 Bnahabras and instead sick quests like Jho and Rajang at the same time? It reaches the absolute kind of peak fun video games should strive to be.
Two new styles are added into this alongside some new Deviants for the rest of the Fated Four; Valor and Alchemy. While the latter I haven't used much the former on the other hand...and as someone who pretty much mains Valor Great Sword almost exclusively that shit is THE SHIT. It's so hype I sometimes find myself preferring it to World's GS moveset. Dat dash bro, DAT FUCKIN DASH. Features one of the best and most genuinely surprising final bosses in the entire franchise with Ahtal-Ka.
The only thing that truly kinda sucks about this is that you still have to play through the weaker first third of Generations to access the incredible high rank village and G-Rank gathering hub quests, but when you do and that's all you're doing leaving behind silly garbage like killing 50 Bnahabras and instead sick quests like Jho and Rajang at the same time? It reaches the absolute kind of peak fun video games should strive to be.
If I played this back in 2010 I would have lost my fucking shit over how cool it is and probably ripped all my pubes out over some of the insane difficulty spikes. Zeta Prime is a punk bitch.
2012
Kinda mid and I can't even use the excuse of "characters are good" cause they are, but who the fuck will ever take that seriously when I'm talking about this series. Fuck it.
The best game in the series with no competition. Latter entries may have the benefit of being on more powerful hardware with proper 3D arenas, but this one is so batshit crazy with the characters going Kaioken fighting actual Godzilla demons.
The simplistic Dynasty Warriors-esque combat can make your hand cramp like a motherfucker while playing on the 3DS, but it's such an easy to pick up and play game that you could probably do a whole chapter before that starts. Characters are once again a strong point (go ahead laff) and game leans more into the relationships within their own clan members and the equivalent rival clan members.
Hikage best girl. Mirai cool as hell. Wish I was Kat. Fuck Yumi simps.
The simplistic Dynasty Warriors-esque combat can make your hand cramp like a motherfucker while playing on the 3DS, but it's such an easy to pick up and play game that you could probably do a whole chapter before that starts. Characters are once again a strong point (go ahead laff) and game leans more into the relationships within their own clan members and the equivalent rival clan members.
Hikage best girl. Mirai cool as hell. Wish I was Kat. Fuck Yumi simps.
The first few weeks of this games launch is some of the most fun I'd ever had with the entire franchise. Just me and the boys running off into the Ancient Forest on the first day with shitty gear trying to take down Anjanath and Rathalos early? Getting lost in the shitty maze like level design? Finding weird shortcuts and then getting lost cause they turned us all around? Shit was choice.
Would go as far to say the first blind playthrough of this is genuinely one of the funnest Monster Hunter games ever. Playing on a big TV, comfy on my bed with my controller, the size of the world, the feeling of adventure? The presentation is so fucking good even with one of the dumbest stories ever put into any video game I've played.
So what kind of kills this game? Well, its endgame grind and the post launch content does. Reskins of Elder Dragons that hit harder. Going out to get tempered Elder Dragon tracks, coming back to Astera (which has a fuckhuge loading screen), praying for RNG to give you a Tempered Elder, getting the Elder, hoping it drops the Streamstone you want, repeat. For a game called Monster Hunter this endgame loop made it so you were only fighting 5 or so monsters over and over. Don't even get me started on the fake MMO/always online/live service FOMO nonsense this game loves to push.
Is the game terrible though? Nah. Does it become more of a chore to play? Yeah. Should you still play it? Nah bitch if you have Switch just get Rise in March lmao.
Would go as far to say the first blind playthrough of this is genuinely one of the funnest Monster Hunter games ever. Playing on a big TV, comfy on my bed with my controller, the size of the world, the feeling of adventure? The presentation is so fucking good even with one of the dumbest stories ever put into any video game I've played.
So what kind of kills this game? Well, its endgame grind and the post launch content does. Reskins of Elder Dragons that hit harder. Going out to get tempered Elder Dragon tracks, coming back to Astera (which has a fuckhuge loading screen), praying for RNG to give you a Tempered Elder, getting the Elder, hoping it drops the Streamstone you want, repeat. For a game called Monster Hunter this endgame loop made it so you were only fighting 5 or so monsters over and over. Don't even get me started on the fake MMO/always online/live service FOMO nonsense this game loves to push.
Is the game terrible though? Nah. Does it become more of a chore to play? Yeah. Should you still play it? Nah bitch if you have Switch just get Rise in March lmao.
If you hated the FOMO in World. It's back in more full force here with for a while (until Raging Brachydios and even then arguably until Fatalis) some of the best gear of the game being only available in a limited time event that would come around bi-monthly.
The Clutch Claw absolutely destroys any fun of this game. It's poorly implemented into so many weapons feeling more intrusive and like a slowing down of the combo than an extension of it. The fact monsters aggression has been turned up too from World only makes it more infuriating when you latch onto a monster (something that is mandatory as hitzones were turned to absolute dogshit and Weakness Exploit was made practically useless without Tenderizing) to soften their hide only for it to do some fuckhead attack that drains all your health in one hit. Speaking of one hit moves. FUCK NOVAS. Whoever is the motherfucker obsessed with every Elder Dragon having some insane nova attack needs to fuck off.
Slinger burst is cool since it actually feels like an extension of your combos and in the case of Great Sword actually allows you to move faster to the True Charged Slash. It should have been all alongside with the wall bang that the clutch claw was used for instead of the shitty tenderizing mechanic.
Endgame is a bit better than World's with the Guiding Lands; an area of constantly spawning monsters for you to fight to level up sections based on all the different biomes you traveled through in the game. Cool idea with a very mixed execution. Originally it took ages to level up areas and if you leveled one up it would make others go down. It was gradually fixed through updates adding more QOL changes (more areas to split points apart to level them up, being able to level some down that you don't go to as much, being able to make monsters fuck off) that made the grind more bearable.
Seeing old Monsters return and reworked so well was a huge joy as well, love World's take on Glavenus and Yian Garuga. Easily the best fights in the game that aren't post launch monsters.
Post launch DLC monsters in this game were definitely a step up from World as well. My personal highlights being Raging Brachydios (with its baller new theme, easily one of the best in the whole franchise) and the absolute motherfucker supreme herald of destruction that was Fatalis. The most brutal and violent battle in the whole game (that wasn't dumb nonsense like Behemoth and Extremoth) that makes you feel like an absolute huge dick motherfucker when you finally take him down. Especially if you decide to go solo from the start like my dumbass did. One of the best fights in the game and a fantastic rework of arguably the most polarizing battle in the series.
Now despite that breadth of positivity let me just say that while Iceborne may not be the worst Monster Hunter game, not even the most frustrating one, but when a game has so many annoying mechanics that it becomes almost as unfun as Monster Hunter 1 at times there's a fucking problem. Weapon designs still suck in this one btw. Or at least did for a while. Insulting that Stiggy Zinogre got shitty slap on designs.
Hope a lot of the cool monsters introduced and returning monsters that were fully reworked in this and World make it to Rise so they're in a game without shitty mechanics that ruin any potential fun they could have been.
The Clutch Claw absolutely destroys any fun of this game. It's poorly implemented into so many weapons feeling more intrusive and like a slowing down of the combo than an extension of it. The fact monsters aggression has been turned up too from World only makes it more infuriating when you latch onto a monster (something that is mandatory as hitzones were turned to absolute dogshit and Weakness Exploit was made practically useless without Tenderizing) to soften their hide only for it to do some fuckhead attack that drains all your health in one hit. Speaking of one hit moves. FUCK NOVAS. Whoever is the motherfucker obsessed with every Elder Dragon having some insane nova attack needs to fuck off.
Slinger burst is cool since it actually feels like an extension of your combos and in the case of Great Sword actually allows you to move faster to the True Charged Slash. It should have been all alongside with the wall bang that the clutch claw was used for instead of the shitty tenderizing mechanic.
Endgame is a bit better than World's with the Guiding Lands; an area of constantly spawning monsters for you to fight to level up sections based on all the different biomes you traveled through in the game. Cool idea with a very mixed execution. Originally it took ages to level up areas and if you leveled one up it would make others go down. It was gradually fixed through updates adding more QOL changes (more areas to split points apart to level them up, being able to level some down that you don't go to as much, being able to make monsters fuck off) that made the grind more bearable.
Seeing old Monsters return and reworked so well was a huge joy as well, love World's take on Glavenus and Yian Garuga. Easily the best fights in the game that aren't post launch monsters.
Post launch DLC monsters in this game were definitely a step up from World as well. My personal highlights being Raging Brachydios (with its baller new theme, easily one of the best in the whole franchise) and the absolute motherfucker supreme herald of destruction that was Fatalis. The most brutal and violent battle in the whole game (that wasn't dumb nonsense like Behemoth and Extremoth) that makes you feel like an absolute huge dick motherfucker when you finally take him down. Especially if you decide to go solo from the start like my dumbass did. One of the best fights in the game and a fantastic rework of arguably the most polarizing battle in the series.
Now despite that breadth of positivity let me just say that while Iceborne may not be the worst Monster Hunter game, not even the most frustrating one, but when a game has so many annoying mechanics that it becomes almost as unfun as Monster Hunter 1 at times there's a fucking problem. Weapon designs still suck in this one btw. Or at least did for a while. Insulting that Stiggy Zinogre got shitty slap on designs.
Hope a lot of the cool monsters introduced and returning monsters that were fully reworked in this and World make it to Rise so they're in a game without shitty mechanics that ruin any potential fun they could have been.
Literally better and continues to be better than so many games released after it. Soundtrack is an all timer.
NOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T RELEASE MEDIA BASED ON A KIDS SHOW THAT SHOWS GENUINE LOVE FOR IT AND TAKES IT SERIOUSLY IT HAS TO BE IRONICCCC
hehe big robot dinosaur go stomp
Perhaps I'm being too nice giving it a 5, but when I got to the final chapter and the game was constantly switching between both factions culminating with a Dante Vs. Vergil style sword fight between Optimus and Megatron I made up my mind on what I was gonna give this game.
hehe big robot dinosaur go stomp
Perhaps I'm being too nice giving it a 5, but when I got to the final chapter and the game was constantly switching between both factions culminating with a Dante Vs. Vergil style sword fight between Optimus and Megatron I made up my mind on what I was gonna give this game.