Baird
2021
This review contains spoilers
I’ve never been so emotionally toyed with by a fish sandwich.
When I saw Uva made that stupid sandwich for John, with twenty signs pointing to her dying by the end of the chapter, I just knew I could never use it like any other consumable item. Look, maybe this is just one of my unhinged tendencies. Whenever I play through Pokemon’s Unova region, no matter the context, I never use any of those Fresh Waters, each a punchline the gym guide’s silly little jokes, or even buy extras that would meld into the “canonical” stash. But that sandwich, representing the blissful life John will never have, the woman who couldn’t profess her love to him until it was too late, was a memory that felt too powerful to wipe away like any other health item.
On that note, I initially wrote off those save quotes as intentionally indulgent filler, like “oh what if your memories were someone else’s really makes you think”. But even without any explicit story presence, they hint at the overall discussion of memories and the journeys we take to make them. You never get to stay in one place forever, so eventually the little events along the way, no matter how silly, are all that will be left of the characters cast aside by the story. The game’s own quirky side mode RPG, narratively, starts as a promise to interact more with the kids of Potcrock Isle until Sam is exiled, but after a while meets more kids because of their shared interest in the game.
I mention this because games and this sort of self reflection around them come up in this game’s narrative a lot more than I expected going in. The side mode RPG classes are echoed both by the New Dam City leaders’ knight and princess relationship, and the elders of Ester City having nerdy alter egos they don as they help you. I didn’t think much of it until the end, where due to some time loop shenanigans, everyone in Ester City fades away, as they would have if not for their one day in the city always repeating. The mainish antagonist Professor Solomon questions Sam on whether it’s worth anything to take the advice of what were basically illusions in her repeated effort to defy his end plan. And for fairly obvious reasons, those inhabitants of the city, and everyone in this game are just illusions to me too. Considering most people take it as a given that media can influence you, I wasn’t expecting to be asked across the screen whether any of that even matters when it’ll inevitably slip out of my mind for the last time.
But, well, behind the digital puppet show, a bunch of 0’s and 1’s remained unperturbed once two characters shared a fish sandwich. So my answer’s been laid bare.
When I saw Uva made that stupid sandwich for John, with twenty signs pointing to her dying by the end of the chapter, I just knew I could never use it like any other consumable item. Look, maybe this is just one of my unhinged tendencies. Whenever I play through Pokemon’s Unova region, no matter the context, I never use any of those Fresh Waters, each a punchline the gym guide’s silly little jokes, or even buy extras that would meld into the “canonical” stash. But that sandwich, representing the blissful life John will never have, the woman who couldn’t profess her love to him until it was too late, was a memory that felt too powerful to wipe away like any other health item.
On that note, I initially wrote off those save quotes as intentionally indulgent filler, like “oh what if your memories were someone else’s really makes you think”. But even without any explicit story presence, they hint at the overall discussion of memories and the journeys we take to make them. You never get to stay in one place forever, so eventually the little events along the way, no matter how silly, are all that will be left of the characters cast aside by the story. The game’s own quirky side mode RPG, narratively, starts as a promise to interact more with the kids of Potcrock Isle until Sam is exiled, but after a while meets more kids because of their shared interest in the game.
I mention this because games and this sort of self reflection around them come up in this game’s narrative a lot more than I expected going in. The side mode RPG classes are echoed both by the New Dam City leaders’ knight and princess relationship, and the elders of Ester City having nerdy alter egos they don as they help you. I didn’t think much of it until the end, where due to some time loop shenanigans, everyone in Ester City fades away, as they would have if not for their one day in the city always repeating. The mainish antagonist Professor Solomon questions Sam on whether it’s worth anything to take the advice of what were basically illusions in her repeated effort to defy his end plan. And for fairly obvious reasons, those inhabitants of the city, and everyone in this game are just illusions to me too. Considering most people take it as a given that media can influence you, I wasn’t expecting to be asked across the screen whether any of that even matters when it’ll inevitably slip out of my mind for the last time.
But, well, behind the digital puppet show, a bunch of 0’s and 1’s remained unperturbed once two characters shared a fish sandwich. So my answer’s been laid bare.
She gon make me fight a boss while surrounded by weirdly aggressive Mets after falling through a really precise spikes section all with a rotated screen gimmick that was shit to emulate, like I'm Forte ‼‼
2019
There's an Alligator Goku in this one, absolutely a canonical work to the goofy guy game catalog
Also since alligators are stronger than humans that means Alligator Goku beats regular Goku confirmed canon
Also since alligators are stronger than humans that means Alligator Goku beats regular Goku confirmed canon
1992
yknow, the whole "one item per person" thing makes way more sense when you're following up FE1 inventories instead of fates
Top 10 characters from this game that should be put into Super Smash Bros:
10. Gecko
9. The Forkies
8. Mack (not Claymorbius or whatever they called him)
7. Princess Toadstool
6. Toadofsky
5. Dr. Topper
4. Johnny Jones
3. Valentina
2. that Toad with a bazooka
1. Chef Torte
10. Gecko
9. The Forkies
8. Mack (not Claymorbius or whatever they called him)
7. Princess Toadstool
6. Toadofsky
5. Dr. Topper
4. Johnny Jones
3. Valentina
2. that Toad with a bazooka
1. Chef Torte
2021
As far as media where sentient robots fight for their right to vital components gated off by a somewhat capitalist force goes, probably better than BlueSky's Robots, despite what the lack of Bigweld would suggest.
(Please play this game holy shit)
(Please play this game holy shit)
1994
stars a witch, and has graphics that required actual fucking witchcraft for the Genesis
thats what we in the know call ludonarrative resonance
thats what we in the know call ludonarrative resonance
2008
Well, look before you meme, I guess. I don’t know what I was really expecting with this one, but this game definitely managed to fall short of most of my hopes. The general structure and battle system of Live A Live were recreated pretty well, but a lot of the adaptation work misses most of the best parts of the original.
For instance, what if the China scenario had only one disciple you train for slightly different stat boosts, dulling the decision making and removing the strongest story beats of the original? What if Wild West had the enemies come in easy waves, and the boss on her lonesome, meaning there’s no point to picking up items, which was the entire challenge? Even the chapters I enjoyed like Ninja tend to coast off the successes of the original instead of improving anything. So many things don’t come together that one of my friends, watching my downward spiral playing this game, called the developer a type of fan who only saw Live A Live as a cool obscure game to copy off of.
And I find “fan” to be apt as Touhou A Live also trends towards really vapid shoutouts of both the original and other games. At the very least, the undeniably true Touhou lore that Yun LiveALive trained Meiling is funny, and most of the Live A Live cameos don’t take up much space. Meanwhile, the generic video game references were what really got to me. Like, Wild West has you play as a fox person, so Mad Dog is named after James McCloud and names you Fox! (In fairness, this one could be part of the translation, but there’s so many other references that it seems likely the joke could be in the original) The evil cavemen are crows, which obviously means Zaki has to be a Murkrow for some reason and his boss fights are you baiting out Brave Bird recoil damage. I guess this isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but it just gives off the vibe that whoever made this is like… really annoying about why Cube should be in Smash, if that makes any sense. These sorts of basic callouts really sap the immersion out of any story when they happen.
Speaking of the story, it’s a complete mess. The most immediate example is the end of the Knight chapter, something that in the original evidently inspires lots of thoughtful essays, including on this platform, from people probably better at writing than me. Here it’s just… Marisa mad that she’s the “Luigi” of Touhou. On some level, I get it. Touhou characters are more just funny than anything, and if Touhou A Live wanted to entirely divorce itself from Live A Live’s discussion of narratives, that would be acceptable. The Wrestler chapter is a strong example of this, with Masaru’s quest to become “the strongest” naturally imposed onto Cirno, who in typical Cirno fashion gets her shit kicked in by really strong bosses until you finally figure out their patterns. The chapter even has other good gags like the cast being 5 Touhou girls, as well as the entirely unchanged Moribe. Something silly like this is a perfect adaptation of Live A Live into the Touhou universe.
However, the narratively focused chapters still try to be “serious”, generally replacing the original plot with some incredibly insipid “who is truly correct in war” babble from a boss before a big fight. I simply don’t find a Touhou version of Live A Live a worthwhile way to examine themes like this (even putting aside hacky “we’re not so different” lines). At the point at which like, Gensokyo is planning a goddamn false flag operation to kill a whole village of their civilians in order to enrage the population to enlist in a war against Makai, the game has just forgotten what makes either of these properties appealing. And then the chapter inexplicably just becomes Knight again after this nuclear MAD false flag nonsense wraps up. The only time I think any of this works is in Mecha where you get to see the people in the process of liquefaction, which shows where Live A Live just kinda told us to care. Also, Wild West gets filled with pervy jokes towards the main character, and there’s a disgusting assault scene in the Knight chapter. The conversation around these sorts of games are usually shitposts about their general nature from people who haven’t played them, so I think it’s responsible having finished it to inform people who would play this for themselves about any disturbing content.
I know someone’s going to get on my case with “what about the gameplay though”, and general issues with chapters aside, I think the battle system is still fun here. Porting this whole real time grid thing to RPGMaker sounds like a headache, but it generally works. Sadly, in later chapters with more complex moves, “generally” often isn’t enough, and there are softlocks if you play fights the wrong way (like using a recoil move to KO a commander enemy, causing a BREAK DOWN). Of special note is the final boss, who softlocks if you KO one of the sentries while hitting another. That was very fun when my best damage dealer hit a whole row. On the other hand, the second phase glitched so bad that everyone but Cirno got stuck charging but the boss didn’t attack so I kicked her to death for like 9 minutes. We fucking take those.
Despite some mechanical issues, there are also some genuinely impressive fights. Towards the start of the Knight chapter, you need to rescue a woman from some bandits, so your main crew starts the fight in a far off corner while all the bandits surround their victim. You have to try to evacuate her ASAP since her vanishing from the field on death will cause a Game Over. This serves as a unique challenge and storytelling opportunity that Live A Live never tried. Even simpler ideas, such as a miniboss in Mecha who kills you in cardinal directions, forces you to strategize on the fly, dancing around the deadly attack while still keeping up pressure because the boss will heal too. Of course, in typical Touhou A Live fashion, this is balanced out by fangamecore bosses of “wow the mother computer goes into a third phase that instantly kills you if you dont spend 5 minutes using high update first so cool”. Taken as a whole, there are good ideas floating around in the game’s various fights despite it all.
Unfortunately, most of the best ideas here really are drowned out by the bad. I couldn’t even fit in other grievances like how the final chapter is even more bloated and dull than the original. There’s a lot of passion that goes into redoing a game like Live A Live, adding new sprites (including bombastic boss ones), even giving the whole soundtrack an infectious SiIvaGunner energy. But the mere presence of passion isn’t enough to make a good game, not when that passion goes toward a nonsensical tone and overlooks simple gameplay decisions, bulldozing over the best parts of Live A Live while seldomly providing much in return. If I wanted to be a news anchor I could say there’s still some interesting stuff here to check out, maybe the insanity of it all is compelling enough for some people, but really, this year I gained a massive appreciation of Live A Live and severe Touhou brainrot. If I could barely tolerate this game long enough to finish it for the bit, what is anyone else getting out of this?
except the best version of mecha omg stan mokou shes so fuckin epic
For instance, what if the China scenario had only one disciple you train for slightly different stat boosts, dulling the decision making and removing the strongest story beats of the original? What if Wild West had the enemies come in easy waves, and the boss on her lonesome, meaning there’s no point to picking up items, which was the entire challenge? Even the chapters I enjoyed like Ninja tend to coast off the successes of the original instead of improving anything. So many things don’t come together that one of my friends, watching my downward spiral playing this game, called the developer a type of fan who only saw Live A Live as a cool obscure game to copy off of.
And I find “fan” to be apt as Touhou A Live also trends towards really vapid shoutouts of both the original and other games. At the very least, the undeniably true Touhou lore that Yun LiveALive trained Meiling is funny, and most of the Live A Live cameos don’t take up much space. Meanwhile, the generic video game references were what really got to me. Like, Wild West has you play as a fox person, so Mad Dog is named after James McCloud and names you Fox! (In fairness, this one could be part of the translation, but there’s so many other references that it seems likely the joke could be in the original) The evil cavemen are crows, which obviously means Zaki has to be a Murkrow for some reason and his boss fights are you baiting out Brave Bird recoil damage. I guess this isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but it just gives off the vibe that whoever made this is like… really annoying about why Cube should be in Smash, if that makes any sense. These sorts of basic callouts really sap the immersion out of any story when they happen.
Speaking of the story, it’s a complete mess. The most immediate example is the end of the Knight chapter, something that in the original evidently inspires lots of thoughtful essays, including on this platform, from people probably better at writing than me. Here it’s just… Marisa mad that she’s the “Luigi” of Touhou. On some level, I get it. Touhou characters are more just funny than anything, and if Touhou A Live wanted to entirely divorce itself from Live A Live’s discussion of narratives, that would be acceptable. The Wrestler chapter is a strong example of this, with Masaru’s quest to become “the strongest” naturally imposed onto Cirno, who in typical Cirno fashion gets her shit kicked in by really strong bosses until you finally figure out their patterns. The chapter even has other good gags like the cast being 5 Touhou girls, as well as the entirely unchanged Moribe. Something silly like this is a perfect adaptation of Live A Live into the Touhou universe.
However, the narratively focused chapters still try to be “serious”, generally replacing the original plot with some incredibly insipid “who is truly correct in war” babble from a boss before a big fight. I simply don’t find a Touhou version of Live A Live a worthwhile way to examine themes like this (even putting aside hacky “we’re not so different” lines). At the point at which like, Gensokyo is planning a goddamn false flag operation to kill a whole village of their civilians in order to enrage the population to enlist in a war against Makai, the game has just forgotten what makes either of these properties appealing. And then the chapter inexplicably just becomes Knight again after this nuclear MAD false flag nonsense wraps up. The only time I think any of this works is in Mecha where you get to see the people in the process of liquefaction, which shows where Live A Live just kinda told us to care. Also, Wild West gets filled with pervy jokes towards the main character, and there’s a disgusting assault scene in the Knight chapter. The conversation around these sorts of games are usually shitposts about their general nature from people who haven’t played them, so I think it’s responsible having finished it to inform people who would play this for themselves about any disturbing content.
I know someone’s going to get on my case with “what about the gameplay though”, and general issues with chapters aside, I think the battle system is still fun here. Porting this whole real time grid thing to RPGMaker sounds like a headache, but it generally works. Sadly, in later chapters with more complex moves, “generally” often isn’t enough, and there are softlocks if you play fights the wrong way (like using a recoil move to KO a commander enemy, causing a BREAK DOWN). Of special note is the final boss, who softlocks if you KO one of the sentries while hitting another. That was very fun when my best damage dealer hit a whole row. On the other hand, the second phase glitched so bad that everyone but Cirno got stuck charging but the boss didn’t attack so I kicked her to death for like 9 minutes. We fucking take those.
Despite some mechanical issues, there are also some genuinely impressive fights. Towards the start of the Knight chapter, you need to rescue a woman from some bandits, so your main crew starts the fight in a far off corner while all the bandits surround their victim. You have to try to evacuate her ASAP since her vanishing from the field on death will cause a Game Over. This serves as a unique challenge and storytelling opportunity that Live A Live never tried. Even simpler ideas, such as a miniboss in Mecha who kills you in cardinal directions, forces you to strategize on the fly, dancing around the deadly attack while still keeping up pressure because the boss will heal too. Of course, in typical Touhou A Live fashion, this is balanced out by fangamecore bosses of “wow the mother computer goes into a third phase that instantly kills you if you dont spend 5 minutes using high update first so cool”. Taken as a whole, there are good ideas floating around in the game’s various fights despite it all.
Unfortunately, most of the best ideas here really are drowned out by the bad. I couldn’t even fit in other grievances like how the final chapter is even more bloated and dull than the original. There’s a lot of passion that goes into redoing a game like Live A Live, adding new sprites (including bombastic boss ones), even giving the whole soundtrack an infectious SiIvaGunner energy. But the mere presence of passion isn’t enough to make a good game, not when that passion goes toward a nonsensical tone and overlooks simple gameplay decisions, bulldozing over the best parts of Live A Live while seldomly providing much in return. If I wanted to be a news anchor I could say there’s still some interesting stuff here to check out, maybe the insanity of it all is compelling enough for some people, but really, this year I gained a massive appreciation of Live A Live and severe Touhou brainrot. If I could barely tolerate this game long enough to finish it for the bit, what is anyone else getting out of this?
except the best version of mecha omg stan mokou shes so fuckin epic
2023
The devil shivers when a Pokedoku day includes the fossil category
2023
GOTY every year, rise of the cow type genre
Kind of took a while to get going, but it grew on me over time and it was a nice passing of the torch story. Can't wait to see how the cast grows, develops, and comes into its own in the following Apollo Justice games!
2021
Definitely an interesting throwback to the 3D platformers of old, but unfortunately often in the sense of " What a fun movement scheme! I can't wait to play a pitch black timed underwater section where I steer with the camera stick!"
2012
Landorus-Therian (M) @ Leftovers
Ability: Intimidate
EVs: 252 HP / 240 SpD / 16 Spe
Careful Nature
- Earthquake
- Defog
- U-turn
- Toxic
Ability: Intimidate
EVs: 252 HP / 240 SpD / 16 Spe
Careful Nature
- Earthquake
- Defog
- U-turn
- Toxic
If you disagree with red haired girls instead, you face an even worse punishment than hard labor: being forced to play Oracle of Seasons.
In this game, people who disagree with blue haired girls are sentenced to hard labor at the Black Tower... just like real life 😔