This is the quintessential 90s licensed game.

✅ Side-scrolling beat-em-up
✅ Minimal frames of character animation
✅ Overly simplistic controls, with fewer moves than buttons
✅ Very short length inflated by repetition
✅ Different enemies are often just palette swaps
❌ Fun

Please be advised, this is not a port of the Arcade title. These are drastically different games, I've submitted a revision on IGDB to get "Arcade" removed from this page as a platform because these have nothing to do with each other besides the IP.

EDIT: Revision approved!

Look, it's cute that this game lets you get a job as a Bard in a medieval-themed map, but it pretty much plays itself. Every challenge or action is just spinning the wheel for a number between 1 and 10. Dance off? Spin. Bowling competition? Spin. Costume contest? UHHHH YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GONNA SPIN. The themed boards and music are quite charming, but most of the maps are paid DLC, with only three included in the already-overpriced base game. The 90s Game of Life for PC has ridiculous animations and cute minigames, it's way better than this snoozefest.

Also, how do you explain $100k for "takeout"?!?

The first Donkey Kong Country-like that I've ever played! The replication of DKC's aesthetic is beautifully done, but the David Wise-esque OST is the clear highlight. One track in particular sounds like it completes a trilogy with Stickerbush Symphony and Aquatic Ambience. I was shocked and impressed!

The gameplay is ultimately what comes last here, as the game can be finished in under 30 minutes without difficulty (which includes a preview of Super Kiwi 64 as an epilogue), and consists of levels that only go up. There was real potential for a great game here if Siactro had fully embraced the DKC format, but the vertical-only level format is ultimately a bit boring. Still, the game is only 99 cents, and absolutely worth checking out. If you find yourself wanting a little more, there are time trials for each level which are legitimately challenging. Make sure you play with the volume up nice and high!

In Mecarobot Golf, you play as a regular human man on a single regular golf course with regular golf mechanics and rules. The only robot element here is your opponent (singular). You play against a robot, who still uses normal golf mechanics to play normal golf.

This is incredibly bare-bones, with nothing to set it apart from other 90s golf titles. Feels like the "robot" element was a last-second cosmetic addition to try to give the game an identity, but all they did was apply it to your competitor. Tragic! A cyber-futuristic golf course would have gone a long way here. It does some decently interesting stuff with Mode-7, but the controls and UI are so stripped back that the results of your strokes feel impossible to accurately predict. Do not play.