The Dannest of GPTs
Ranking the Unraveled: Unleash the Power of Gaming as I Ascend from Ascendant to Appalling, with the Ultimate Catastrophe Claiming the Coveted First Place, which represents the absolute worst! (Please Note: 'Mario Kart Midnight' represents the enigmatic 'Mario Kart Black' mod, and 'Mario CTGP Rev' stands in for 'Mario Kart Wii 2.' The Placement of 'Minecraft' is Solely Informed by the Hypixel Skyblocks Experience)
Delve into the Chronicles of Gaming as I Tread the Path of Divinity, Fumbling and Soaring through Titles that Await My Verdict. 'Elden Ring,' 'Final Fantasy XIV,' 'Fire Emblem Fire and Ice,' and the Infamous 'Smarty Pants' form the Quartet Chosen to Bring Structure to the Anarchy that Is My Backlog.
Prepare to Witness the Hierarchy Unfold: From Unrivaled Grandeur to Unrelenting Misery, This List Chronicles My Odyssey through Titles that Dared to Cross My Path. So Grab Your Controllers and Brace Yourselves for the Revelation of Rankings, as I Ascend the Ladder of Digital Ascendancy!
Delve into the Chronicles of Gaming as I Tread the Path of Divinity, Fumbling and Soaring through Titles that Await My Verdict. 'Elden Ring,' 'Final Fantasy XIV,' 'Fire Emblem Fire and Ice,' and the Infamous 'Smarty Pants' form the Quartet Chosen to Bring Structure to the Anarchy that Is My Backlog.
Prepare to Witness the Hierarchy Unfold: From Unrivaled Grandeur to Unrelenting Misery, This List Chronicles My Odyssey through Titles that Dared to Cross My Path. So Grab Your Controllers and Brace Yourselves for the Revelation of Rankings, as I Ascend the Ladder of Digital Ascendancy!
222 Games
Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party is a game that defies conventional game design in a truly baffling way. It manages to make giving up the most rewarding experience while delivering an overall gameplay package that feels like a cruel joke played on the player.
The game's standout feature, if you can call it that, is its peculiar approach to rewarding players who throw in the towel halfway through a mini-game. It's almost as if the developers are encouraging players to give up on this rotting diarrhea of a game. But here's the kicker: the person who tries their hardest and comes in second place? They get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return for their effort.
One of the most painful experiences in this carnival of absurdity is the music mini-game. It forces players to listen to Rabbids attempting to sing songs like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and it's an auditory assault that makes you question your life choices.
Speaking of Britney Spears, one can't help but feel sorry for her. This game might be a contributing factor to her mental health issues, and if that's not a damning indictment of Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party, I don't know what is.
This game is a testament to why you should never, under any circumstances, trust someone who genuinely enjoys this deplorable and cringe-worthy experience. The Rabbids have overstayed their welcome, and it's time to send them back to whatever bizarre dimension they crawled out of.
Score: 2/10
The game's standout feature, if you can call it that, is its peculiar approach to rewarding players who throw in the towel halfway through a mini-game. It's almost as if the developers are encouraging players to give up on this rotting diarrhea of a game. But here's the kicker: the person who tries their hardest and comes in second place? They get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return for their effort.
One of the most painful experiences in this carnival of absurdity is the music mini-game. It forces players to listen to Rabbids attempting to sing songs like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and it's an auditory assault that makes you question your life choices.
Speaking of Britney Spears, one can't help but feel sorry for her. This game might be a contributing factor to her mental health issues, and if that's not a damning indictment of Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party, I don't know what is.
This game is a testament to why you should never, under any circumstances, trust someone who genuinely enjoys this deplorable and cringe-worthy experience. The Rabbids have overstayed their welcome, and it's time to send them back to whatever bizarre dimension they crawled out of.
Score: 2/10
22
In the world of Muse Dash, imagine a vibrant, musical realm where the beats are lively and the action is non-stop. In this world, you are a rhythm game enthusiast, tapping and swiping to the beat of your favorite tunes, surrounded by a community of fellow players who share your passion for music and rhythm.
One day, as you're enjoying a peaceful moment at the local laundromat, tragedy strikes. Your friends from the Muse Dash community are found in a shocking state, having met a grim fate while searching for something they shouldn't have been. Despite their eccentricities, they were your "found family" in this lively world.
As you grapple with the loss, you're confronted by a figure from the community, someone who's also struggled with the concept of family and belonging. They share their own tale of loss and resilience, revealing the deep-seated need to create a family out of the unconventional but supportive bonds they've formed.
Their words strike a chord within you, reminding you of the unique connections and support you've found within the Muse Dash community. Together, you and your fellow players are more than just gamers – you're a family, united by a love for music, rhythm, and the camaraderie that comes with it.
In the end, you realize that family isn't just about blood relations – it's about the bonds you forge with those who understand and support you, even in the most unexpected of places. As you continue your journey in the world of Muse Dash, you do so with a renewed sense of appreciation for the found family you've created and the music that brings you all together.
Score: 2/10
One day, as you're enjoying a peaceful moment at the local laundromat, tragedy strikes. Your friends from the Muse Dash community are found in a shocking state, having met a grim fate while searching for something they shouldn't have been. Despite their eccentricities, they were your "found family" in this lively world.
As you grapple with the loss, you're confronted by a figure from the community, someone who's also struggled with the concept of family and belonging. They share their own tale of loss and resilience, revealing the deep-seated need to create a family out of the unconventional but supportive bonds they've formed.
Their words strike a chord within you, reminding you of the unique connections and support you've found within the Muse Dash community. Together, you and your fellow players are more than just gamers – you're a family, united by a love for music, rhythm, and the camaraderie that comes with it.
In the end, you realize that family isn't just about blood relations – it's about the bonds you forge with those who understand and support you, even in the most unexpected of places. As you continue your journey in the world of Muse Dash, you do so with a renewed sense of appreciation for the found family you've created and the music that brings you all together.
Score: 2/10
21
Playing this game makes me want to get cryogenically frozen for the next 1000 years. The frustration it induces is as if I'm trapped in a time capsule of misery.
Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.
Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.
If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.
While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.
Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.
Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.
Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.
If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.
While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.
Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.
20
Oh, the nostalgia of the "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" TV show! You'd think that revisiting this concept in a video game format would be a blast. Unfortunately, it's a bit like finding out that your favorite childhood snack no longer tastes as good as you remember.
The game asks you trivia questions from a selection of not-so-varied categories. And here's where the frustration kicks in. You might think, "Oh, I don't know this question; let me ask one of those low-resolution, oddly expressionless fifth graders in the back for help." But guess what? Even if you get it wrong, they often get it wrong too! What's the point of having these not-so-smart avatars assisting you if they can't get the answers right themselves? It's like asking your pet goldfish for investment advice.
Speaking of not getting things right, the game itself has a few hiccups. It's advertised as "Back to School," but it never quite nails the classroom atmosphere or the "feeling smarter" part. Some of the facial expressions on the characters are so lackluster they make Bubsy 3D's enemies look expressive.
The help animations from the avatars, especially when you answer incorrectly, are like watching a failed attempt at replicating your favorite dance move – painful and awkward.
To top it all off, the dance that happens at the end of a successful round is neither exciting nor entertaining. And if you're expecting a "Righty-Oh" moment from your avatar, forget about it – that joy never comes.
While I didn't have the patience to sit through the entire game (and it seems most other players didn't either), I checked it out online. And let's just say, the dance at the end does not make you feel any smarter. It's just a bland, uninspired conclusion to a less-than-stellar experience.
So, are you smarter than a 5th grader? Based on this game, it's not about intelligence but about whether you can withstand the tedious questions and awkward avatars. And well, I wasn't smarter, either.
I'd give "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader: Back to School" a generous 2 out of 10, and that's mostly for nostalgia's sake. It's a far cry from the perfect trivia game you're looking for, with more questions than razor blades in your Halloween candy.
The game asks you trivia questions from a selection of not-so-varied categories. And here's where the frustration kicks in. You might think, "Oh, I don't know this question; let me ask one of those low-resolution, oddly expressionless fifth graders in the back for help." But guess what? Even if you get it wrong, they often get it wrong too! What's the point of having these not-so-smart avatars assisting you if they can't get the answers right themselves? It's like asking your pet goldfish for investment advice.
Speaking of not getting things right, the game itself has a few hiccups. It's advertised as "Back to School," but it never quite nails the classroom atmosphere or the "feeling smarter" part. Some of the facial expressions on the characters are so lackluster they make Bubsy 3D's enemies look expressive.
The help animations from the avatars, especially when you answer incorrectly, are like watching a failed attempt at replicating your favorite dance move – painful and awkward.
To top it all off, the dance that happens at the end of a successful round is neither exciting nor entertaining. And if you're expecting a "Righty-Oh" moment from your avatar, forget about it – that joy never comes.
While I didn't have the patience to sit through the entire game (and it seems most other players didn't either), I checked it out online. And let's just say, the dance at the end does not make you feel any smarter. It's just a bland, uninspired conclusion to a less-than-stellar experience.
So, are you smarter than a 5th grader? Based on this game, it's not about intelligence but about whether you can withstand the tedious questions and awkward avatars. And well, I wasn't smarter, either.
I'd give "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader: Back to School" a generous 2 out of 10, and that's mostly for nostalgia's sake. It's a far cry from the perfect trivia game you're looking for, with more questions than razor blades in your Halloween candy.
19
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is a mind-boggling journey into the abyss of horrible 2D platformers, serving as a painful reminder of why some franchises should stay buried. The inclusion of utterly useless collectibles is a testament to the game's commitment to pure mediocrity. The hope for the Woolies to strike Bubsy down seems like a desperate plea for an end to this onslaught of dogshit games. Bubsy's "humorous" involvement in the tragic event, 9/11, is not only tasteless but adds another layer of absurdity to this already disastrous experience. This game is a mockery of the platformer genre and deserves a generous 2 out of 10 for its unintentional comedic value.
18
MultiVersus is an absolute dumpster fire, a platform fighter that manages to be worse than Smash Wii U. The game's redeeming quality? Well, at least you can unleash some pent-up frustration by beating the crap out of Steven Universe. As it stands, it's a dogshit experience that desperately needs to step up its game. Now, the real genius move would be adding Wiz and Boomstick from the Death Battle franchise, but until then, this Ultra Instinct Shaggy-filled disappointment sits at a pitiful 2/10. Don't bother unless you enjoy torturing yourself.
17
Hello Neighbor is a game that tries to convey deeper themes but falls short due to its frustrating gameplay and lack of direction. The premise of sneaking into your neighbor's house to uncover secrets has potential, but the execution leaves much to be desired.
The game's attempt to be a metaphor for life, urging players to "go outside and touch grass," feels forced and disconnected from the actual gameplay experience. While the idea of exploring a suburban neighborhood and interacting with neighbors could have been intriguing, the game fails to deliver on this promise.
One of the biggest issues with Hello Neighbor is its lack of meaningful activities inside the house. Once you've entered the neighbor's home, there's little to do beyond aimlessly wandering and trying to avoid detection. This lack of engaging gameplay makes it difficult to stay invested in the experience.
Furthermore, the game's commentary on capitalism and suburban life feels superficial and underdeveloped. While there are hints of social commentary, they are not explored in a meaningful way, leaving the player with a sense of missed opportunity.
Overall, Hello Neighbor is a game that falls short of its ambitious goals. While it has some interesting ideas, they are not realized in a way that makes for a compelling gameplay experience. If you're looking for a game with deep themes and engaging gameplay, you're better off looking elsewhere.
The game's attempt to be a metaphor for life, urging players to "go outside and touch grass," feels forced and disconnected from the actual gameplay experience. While the idea of exploring a suburban neighborhood and interacting with neighbors could have been intriguing, the game fails to deliver on this promise.
One of the biggest issues with Hello Neighbor is its lack of meaningful activities inside the house. Once you've entered the neighbor's home, there's little to do beyond aimlessly wandering and trying to avoid detection. This lack of engaging gameplay makes it difficult to stay invested in the experience.
Furthermore, the game's commentary on capitalism and suburban life feels superficial and underdeveloped. While there are hints of social commentary, they are not explored in a meaningful way, leaving the player with a sense of missed opportunity.
Overall, Hello Neighbor is a game that falls short of its ambitious goals. While it has some interesting ideas, they are not realized in a way that makes for a compelling gameplay experience. If you're looking for a game with deep themes and engaging gameplay, you're better off looking elsewhere.
16
Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue, oh boy, where do I even start? This game is like a digital sedative, and the only rescue operation needed is freeing yourself from its clutches. Some may call it a walking simulator, but honestly, it's more like a sleepwalking simulator. The tragic realization that it inadvertently got more playtime worldwide than Smarty Pants is a sad commentary on the gaming choices of the masses.
In the vast landscape of Wii games, this one somehow manages to rise above some abysmal competition, but that's not saying much. It's like being the tallest hobbit—still a hobbit. Don't worry; there are worse games out there, but that's not exactly a glowing endorsement. If you find yourself playing Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue, you might want to reevaluate your game collection.
Score: 2/10
In the vast landscape of Wii games, this one somehow manages to rise above some abysmal competition, but that's not saying much. It's like being the tallest hobbit—still a hobbit. Don't worry; there are worse games out there, but that's not exactly a glowing endorsement. If you find yourself playing Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue, you might want to reevaluate your game collection.
Score: 2/10
15
Rabbids Invasion: The Interactive TV Show seems to be in a league of its own with that delightfully idiotic EHHHYYAAA... Rabbid noise accompanying every click, which might just be its sole redeeming feature. Yet, not even this quirky quirkiness can save it from the depths of gaming oblivion. Remember the days when this was the benchmark for bad games? Ah, the nostalgia. Now, we're spoiled with a whole host of wretched titles, each boasting their own unique brand of horror, from King of Clubs to Garten of banban and beyond. One thing's for sure, none of them can quite match the unforgettable menu sound of EEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
Score: 2/10
Score: 2/10
14
Wii Party U, where do I even begin? This game is a prime example of how a seemingly innocent party game can turn into a button-smashing nightmare. It all started with this piece of garbage, and I can't help but wonder why it was ever created in the first place.
The premise of Wii Party U might sound promising on the surface, with its collection of mini-games and activities designed for multiplayer fun. However, the reality is far from enjoyable. The controls are clunky and unresponsive, making it a frustrating experience from the get-go.
But the real kicker is the button-smashing. It seems like the only button worth smashing in this game is the power button on your console to make it stop. The mini-games are often reduced to mindless button mashing, devoid of any strategy or skill. It quickly becomes a test of who can wear out their controller the fastest, leading to sore thumbs and a sense of regret.
The lack of depth and variety in the mini-games is astonishing. It's as if the developers ran out of ideas and decided that making players repeatedly press buttons was the way to go. There's no creativity or innovation here, just a mind-numbing repetition of the same uninspired activities.
In conclusion, Wii Party U is a button-smashing nightmare that offers little in terms of genuine fun or entertainment. It's a stain on the reputation of party games and serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when creativity takes a backseat to mindless button mashing. If you value your sanity and your controllers, steer clear of this turd of a game.
Score: 1/10
The premise of Wii Party U might sound promising on the surface, with its collection of mini-games and activities designed for multiplayer fun. However, the reality is far from enjoyable. The controls are clunky and unresponsive, making it a frustrating experience from the get-go.
But the real kicker is the button-smashing. It seems like the only button worth smashing in this game is the power button on your console to make it stop. The mini-games are often reduced to mindless button mashing, devoid of any strategy or skill. It quickly becomes a test of who can wear out their controller the fastest, leading to sore thumbs and a sense of regret.
The lack of depth and variety in the mini-games is astonishing. It's as if the developers ran out of ideas and decided that making players repeatedly press buttons was the way to go. There's no creativity or innovation here, just a mind-numbing repetition of the same uninspired activities.
In conclusion, Wii Party U is a button-smashing nightmare that offers little in terms of genuine fun or entertainment. It's a stain on the reputation of party games and serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when creativity takes a backseat to mindless button mashing. If you value your sanity and your controllers, steer clear of this turd of a game.
Score: 1/10
13
I remember when I was a kid, around 5 or 6 years old, and I used to love playing Kinect Sports on our Xbox. But one day, my mom wouldn't let me play because I hadn't done my chores. I was so mad that I stormed off to my room, plotting my revenge. Then, I got a mischievous idea while sitting on the toilet. I won't go into details, but let's just say I tried to play a prank involving catching my own poop. It didn't go well the first time, but the next day, I was determined. Fast forward a few weeks, and my parents were puzzled by a strange smell in their bedroom. Little did they know, I had hidden my "experiment" under their bed. They were horrified when they found it, and even blamed it on someone else! To this day, they still don't know the truth.
Score: 1/10
Score: 1/10
12
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up, or should I say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Karate Clash," is a catastrophic cacophony of chaos that dares to trample on the delicate sensibilities of fighting game aficionados. This wretched abomination of a title commits the unforgivable sin of introducing Master Splinter, the one character who possesses the hallowed knowledge of karate. Yes, dear reader, you heard that correctly — karate! It's as if the developers never grasped the fundamental tenets of competitive combat within the realms of pixelated pugilism!
In the vast pantheon of fighting games, the cardinal rule dictates that no character should hold an unfair advantage, especially in the realm of martial arts mastery. Yet, in their profound wisdom, the creators of this calamity saw fit to bestow Master Splinter with this unholy power. Did they not comprehend that this sacrilege would render all other fighters mere mortals in the presence of a karate-kicking rodent?
It is a regrettable state of affairs when the most memorable aspect of a fighting game is the blatant disregard for the art of balanced combat. While the heroes in a half-shell may hold a cherished place in our hearts, their venture into the fighting game arena reeks of amateur design and an ignorance of the martial arts metagame.
In my humble estimation, I bestow upon this travesty a resounding 1 out of 10, for it has flouted the very essence of fair competition, leaving only a foul taste of missed potential in its wake.
In the vast pantheon of fighting games, the cardinal rule dictates that no character should hold an unfair advantage, especially in the realm of martial arts mastery. Yet, in their profound wisdom, the creators of this calamity saw fit to bestow Master Splinter with this unholy power. Did they not comprehend that this sacrilege would render all other fighters mere mortals in the presence of a karate-kicking rodent?
It is a regrettable state of affairs when the most memorable aspect of a fighting game is the blatant disregard for the art of balanced combat. While the heroes in a half-shell may hold a cherished place in our hearts, their venture into the fighting game arena reeks of amateur design and an ignorance of the martial arts metagame.
In my humble estimation, I bestow upon this travesty a resounding 1 out of 10, for it has flouted the very essence of fair competition, leaving only a foul taste of missed potential in its wake.
11
I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and I simply cannot stop playing Bad Rats. My chair is filthy. My room is filthy. My life is filthy too. But then, a miracle happened: the game broke! BAD RATS IS GONE. My mental breakdown made it freeze, and now it’s dead! IT'S DEAD AHAHAHAHA!
Now, instead of being trapped in that nightmare, I post Rat 🐀 🐀 🐀 Come back to this review and see what rats are posted!
HERES SOME RATS FOR YA!!!
Bad Rats is a glitchy disaster. The only saving grace was when it stopped working and freed me from its clutches. If you value your sanity, avoid this game. Enjoy some rat emojis instead. 🐀🐀🐀
Score: 1/10
Now, instead of being trapped in that nightmare, I post Rat 🐀 🐀 🐀 Come back to this review and see what rats are posted!
HERES SOME RATS FOR YA!!!
Bad Rats is a glitchy disaster. The only saving grace was when it stopped working and freed me from its clutches. If you value your sanity, avoid this game. Enjoy some rat emojis instead. 🐀🐀🐀
Score: 1/10
10
Onrush, a descent into vehicular purgatory where the only escape is the repetitive loop of hitting opponents at the exact same speed. The game, akin to a prison, forces players to endure the pointlessness of endless redundancy. The futile attempts at achieving objectives only lead to perpetual failure via automobile accidents, trapping players in a never-ending cycle. The chaotic music transitions, ranging from screamo to dubstep, create an auditory nightmare that complements the visual madness of the game.
In Onrush, every collision with fake cars feels like a purposeful obstruction, crumbling the player's will to dust. Boosts, initially promising hope, reveal themselves as irrelevant in the face of constant competition. The game, with its disjointed experience and relentless repetition, becomes a psychological tormentor, exploiting moments of hope to intensify the ensuing despair. It's an exercise in nihilism, where playing Onrush feels more pointless than Kairi's contribution to the Kingdom Hearts story.
Score: 1/10
In Onrush, every collision with fake cars feels like a purposeful obstruction, crumbling the player's will to dust. Boosts, initially promising hope, reveal themselves as irrelevant in the face of constant competition. The game, with its disjointed experience and relentless repetition, becomes a psychological tormentor, exploiting moments of hope to intensify the ensuing despair. It's an exercise in nihilism, where playing Onrush feels more pointless than Kairi's contribution to the Kingdom Hearts story.
Score: 1/10
9
I stand here, bewildered and questioning the choices that led me to encounter not one, not two, but five games that are somehow worse than this abomination called Club Penguin: Game Day! It's as if the game developers embarked on a journey to craft a digital monstrosity so grotesque that even Satan himself would disown it.
From the moment this wretched title infects your beloved Wii or Wii U console, you'll find yourself contemplating drastic measures. Burying your gaming systems and sending their remains hurtling into the abyss of an asteroid belt might seem like the only recourse to cleanse your digital soul of the horrors within.
The nightmares of this cursed game haunt my every waking moment. I still shudder at the recollection of that abominable snowball minigame, where a skunk carcass served as the main antagonist. It's as if the game designers were in a contest to see who could create the most absurd and nightmarish scenario.
As the madness unfolded, I made it my solemn mission to subject myself to a relentless barrage of bad video games, all in the hope that Club Penguin: Game Day! might ascend from the depths of gaming hell to claim a spot in the "upper 50%" of our list. The very fact that such aspirations exist speaks volumes about the abyss this game has plunged us into.
In the end, this game left me questioning not only my gaming choices but also the very nature of reality. It's akin to the paranoia one feels when inspecting suspiciously shaped Halloween candy wrappers for razor blades, all while unknowingly angering a mafia boss concealed within, a boss who guards his hidden stash of malevolence. Club Penguin: Game Day! is a black hole of gaming, an experience best avoided unless you have a masochistic desire to explore the darkest recesses of digital torment.
Score: 1/10
From the moment this wretched title infects your beloved Wii or Wii U console, you'll find yourself contemplating drastic measures. Burying your gaming systems and sending their remains hurtling into the abyss of an asteroid belt might seem like the only recourse to cleanse your digital soul of the horrors within.
The nightmares of this cursed game haunt my every waking moment. I still shudder at the recollection of that abominable snowball minigame, where a skunk carcass served as the main antagonist. It's as if the game designers were in a contest to see who could create the most absurd and nightmarish scenario.
As the madness unfolded, I made it my solemn mission to subject myself to a relentless barrage of bad video games, all in the hope that Club Penguin: Game Day! might ascend from the depths of gaming hell to claim a spot in the "upper 50%" of our list. The very fact that such aspirations exist speaks volumes about the abyss this game has plunged us into.
In the end, this game left me questioning not only my gaming choices but also the very nature of reality. It's akin to the paranoia one feels when inspecting suspiciously shaped Halloween candy wrappers for razor blades, all while unknowingly angering a mafia boss concealed within, a boss who guards his hidden stash of malevolence. Club Penguin: Game Day! is a black hole of gaming, an experience best avoided unless you have a masochistic desire to explore the darkest recesses of digital torment.
Score: 1/10
8
I can't believe THIS GUY's the manager here. Seriously, I'd like to have a word with the person who thought M&M's Adventure was a good idea. This game is an absolute trainwreck from start to finish. If you've ever wondered what it's like to play a game that seems like it actively despises its players, this is it.
I'll box you in ya ears! That's how I felt about the gameplay. It's clunky, unresponsive, and more frustrating than a Rubik's Cube with missing pieces. The controls are as unreliable as a broken compass in a dark forest. You'll be pulling your hair out, trying to get your M&M character to do anything remotely sensible.
And don't even get me started on the sound design. It's like they hired a tone-deaf walrus to compose the music. The repetitive, grating tunes will haunt your nightmares for weeks. I mean, it's like they were trying to create a soundtrack that could induce madness.
Nanana boo b-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That's what you'll be hearing in your head as you try to make sense of this game's nonsensical design. It's like a bad acid trip in video game form. The glitches and bugs are so prevalent that you'll wonder if the developers were trying to make a statement about the futility of life.
GETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEAD. Yes, please, just get out of my head, M&M's Adventure. I played this so you don't have to. Save your sanity and your taste for chocolate.
Leave me alone you Red M&M... because this game is a menace, and it's a mystery how it ever saw the light of day. If I could give it a lower score, I would. Consider my M&M's officially boycotted. Skittles for life!
Score: 1/10
I'll box you in ya ears! That's how I felt about the gameplay. It's clunky, unresponsive, and more frustrating than a Rubik's Cube with missing pieces. The controls are as unreliable as a broken compass in a dark forest. You'll be pulling your hair out, trying to get your M&M character to do anything remotely sensible.
And don't even get me started on the sound design. It's like they hired a tone-deaf walrus to compose the music. The repetitive, grating tunes will haunt your nightmares for weeks. I mean, it's like they were trying to create a soundtrack that could induce madness.
Nanana boo b-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That's what you'll be hearing in your head as you try to make sense of this game's nonsensical design. It's like a bad acid trip in video game form. The glitches and bugs are so prevalent that you'll wonder if the developers were trying to make a statement about the futility of life.
GETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEAD. Yes, please, just get out of my head, M&M's Adventure. I played this so you don't have to. Save your sanity and your taste for chocolate.
Leave me alone you Red M&M... because this game is a menace, and it's a mystery how it ever saw the light of day. If I could give it a lower score, I would. Consider my M&M's officially boycotted. Skittles for life!
Score: 1/10
7
This freaking game, man. M&M's Kart Racing is a dumpster fire on wheels, or rather, chocolate candies with wheels. I can't decide if the developers were on an acid trip or just had a thing for unsettling mascots. The only thing sharper than the turns in this game is the desire to put razor blades in those annoying M&M's. And don't get me started on encountering a life-sized Red M&M in a store – that's nightmare fuel right there. I'd rather eat a bag of the real candies than endure another lap in this digital hellscape. A solid 1/10 for the sheer audacity of this fever dream on wheels.
6
Bubsy 3D, a fever dream I might have played or watched, the lines blur. Was it a nightmare or just a fleeting hallucination? Tank controls in a 3D platformer, untextured platforms, and a soundtrack that descends into horror? It's as if the developers were playing a prank on gamers. Madman Mackola, if you had a hand in this, you've got some explaining to do. Or perhaps, it's best left buried in the annals of gaming history. 1/10 for the haunting memories that may or may not be real.
5
Not scary, didn't shiver. Your attempt at horror is so feeble, I wish it had just flown over my head and you had given up on trying to scare me. Frankly, this is a pitiful effort at creating a sense of dread. Not a shiver, not a tremble, not even the faintest tingle down my spine. Science says fear triggers a fight-or-flight response, but I didn't even feel a flicker of adrenaline. 0/10, this horror is so weak, I can't fathom how anyone allowed you to create something remotely scary. The mental gymnastics you must have done to conjure up this horror could power a small village. Find a better story and learn how to build suspense; read a book. I'm not saying this to mock you; I genuinely mean it when I say this is a woeful attempt at horror. You've single-handedly butchered the concept of fear and every chilling tale in existence. I'm so disheartened that society has collectively failed to teach you how to induce fear. Honestly, even if I poured all my energy into trying to be scared by
4
Oh, the tumultuous tale of Garten of Banban, a game that not only earned the disdain of players but managed to create a digital racist entity that rivals anything seen in the last 78 years. The developers, bullied off Twitter, might have sought refuge from the justified criticism. This game is not just a bad gaming experience; it's a societal misstep, an unintentional harbinger of a virtual racist apocalypse. Let's just say, if the gaming industry had a Hall of Shame, Garten of Banban would be an inaugural inductee.
Garten of Banban transcends traditional scoring; it's a gaming abomination that defies numerical evaluation. Consider it a cautionary tale rather than a scored review.
Score: Scale not low enough, game defies numerical evaluation
Garten of Banban transcends traditional scoring; it's a gaming abomination that defies numerical evaluation. Consider it a cautionary tale rather than a scored review.
Score: Scale not low enough, game defies numerical evaluation
3
Counter-Strike 2, hailed as the worst game of all time by the illustrious Enterprise, takes mediocrity to new heights. This masterpiece of disaster manages to fumble on every conceivable aspect of game design, from graphics that might as well be stick figures to gameplay that's less engaging than watching paint dry. It's an achievement, really, to be the unanimous choice for the bottom of the gaming barrel. Enterprise calling this game "The worst game of all time" perfectly captures the essence of this colossal failure, earning it a 0/10, not because it deserves a zero, but because no number is low enough.
2
Let me tell you, M&M's Beach Party was a disappointment of epic proportions. I was lured in by the promise of beach fun, but what I got was a virtual wasteland devoid of any real excitement. The skee ball mini-game, while passable, couldn't save this sinking ship. And don't even get me started on the volleyball mode – it's an absolute disaster. Save yourself the trouble and steer clear of this beach party. I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.
Honestly, this game doesn't even deserve a score. It's a total disaster.
Honestly, this game doesn't even deserve a score. It's a total disaster.
1