This game is a trap, a trap cleverly planted by demons, but not just any demons, the king of all demons, Lucifer himself. The myth, the legend, has sewn together this ruse of a game. With the wisdom I have aquired over my many years of life, I managed to spot this fib and get away before I was trapped. But my sweet, sweet younger brother was not so lucky. Oh, how unfortunate a day it was today that we happened upon this game on this day, for I have no younger brother on this day of all days, one month before his big day. Oh, the sadness in my heart, my heart aches. This evil, sinful game trapped my brother in the loading screen, where they ripped away the use of his Enter button so he could not progress to even the title screen! We just wanted to play, one singular game together, as friends, as brothers, as comanions. But no, this game of deciet, of lies, of treachery has done my brother in. No longer will I see his smiling face, the light in his eyes, now gone dim.

To be, or not to be, that is the question this game asked itself. And it found the answer, to not to be, a working game that is. I couldn't even enter the game with their not working multiplayer function, and their dead ass servers that have a looong ass cooldown whenever a player joins or leaves.. Which is constantly. So you can never play a game. Ever. This could be the GREATEST game ever, or there could be no game ever progrmamed into it. Schrodinger was talking about this very game in his box of mysteries. When there is no game, is it a bad game, or the best game? The greatest thinkers around the world ponder this question to this very day. I have my own answer though, it's bad. This """""game""""" is bad. It is not good. It is wretched in fact. Me and the J to my PB and J sandwich wanted to play a fun filled game of friendship and fun to boost our friendship stat to the maximum possible degree, but it has't done been lowered. For their is no game to play, no fun to be had. Just nothing. This game is nothingness in the form of a game. It pretends to be a game, but it is an evil wolf guising itself amongst games to trick poor, innocent, sheepies into getting chomped by it's sharp teeth. I was that sheep today, I barely escaped, but not unscathed, for scathed I have been. I will never be the same after this frightful experience. My soul tainted, my heart shattered, my trust, broken.

Fun, what an interesting concept. You COULD make a fun game, but that requires effort, so why bother? This is the thought process that went into this game, or most likely, lackthereof thought process. This game is so empty and lifeless, I've seen roadkill with more life but into them. I tried to play a fun game with my bro-bro but this game killed him. He is dead now. We didn't even get to play together because of the onslaught of tutorial madness that was brought down upon us. My poor hands have been shattered at the shear amount of hand holding this monstrosity of a "game" has been done. I couldn't even get the pleasure of glitching out of bounds because this game had an invisible roof on their empty, ugly map. Also the characters are ugly. Fuck this game.

Shit, that is the most optimal way to describe this sorry excuse of a game. Playing this game has to be one of the most unfortunate experience I've had when trying to have fun, I've had negative fun with this game. There is now a hole in my heart, a Ark: Survival Evolved (2017) shaped hole in my heart. One that could've been filled with all the fun and happiness that could've been had with this game... If it was fun... But it is not.. This game is void of fun. I just wanted to play a fun game with my broski, but I had not that. For now I am an empty shell of my former fun-seeking self, I am now sad. Sam I am, for sadness I am.