Director__Black
2005
my first point of reference for this game, like prolly everyone else's, is to pinpoint the similarities to it being a glow-up of rail shooters found in arcades. for about a third or so of the game, it definitely feels that way. yet, it still felt disingenuous; right from the very get-go, it defies a proper description because of how it has its hands in as many places as possible; some may call that a fatal flaw for smth that has a severe case of adhd, i say it's a goddamn masterpiece not solely thanks to it, but that for as complicated as killer7's plot and battles gets, it settles itself into its own comfy routine, using the same game mechanics as leverage for the banal form of evil and indifference its world plays as
the killer7 themselves are almost mythic in their creation, an idea of gameplay so insane that it works itself into being a downright ingenious form of a shooter; everything directly said or implied about the personas is stepping into a tightrope the player has to walk: tread too safely and you get lost in the design, tread too wildly and you get too careless in the design. for as easy as it is to shit on repetitive gameplay, the concept alone is still appealing and everlasting from just how much it exchanges invested time and muscle / mind memory to each other back and forth. it's cliched to say but each member really does bring their flair to an already high-concept game, and it's very excited to let you indulge in setting you up for preparation itself
but it feels all too futile as well. its evil and indifference found in the story isn't just routine, but robotic, directly being a pawn in cover-up after cover-up and conspiracy after conspiracy, and meant to navigate the murky waters outside. every abitrarily-seeming route is drenched in post-wwii anxiety and post 9/11 paranoia from japan and the u.s. in the game, and at certain peaks, especially when you get characters talking directly to you, so much of post-ironic humor and storytelling driving it forward know too well of it going only so far as it allows itself to always right before shit hits the fan. killer7 is practically banking on the player to not only accept its bullshit at face-value, but actually get you to recognize it as a meaningful farce of what is literally dissociated identity from the call of duty
it's a blessing that smth like this was released right in the sweet spot of the 2000s; video games, along with media in general, delved straight into using the war on terror as a means to retool people's own confusion into a spectacle for entertainment; no one, much less the governments in power, actually knew how to handle their own egos that came with fighting the stereotyped evils of the world made from their own bloodstained and dirt-soaked hands. yet, out of many woodworks, there also came plenty of media that took the absurdity of war as a way to both joke around and rampage angrily at our mistakes. killer7 wasn't made to be an ultimate answer or commentary on the era, since it knows most ppl then and now were looking for a good time for whatever special bullshit gave them their own solo parties at the edge of the world, but it sure as succeeds in all its glorious and bittersweet bullshit
the killer7 themselves are almost mythic in their creation, an idea of gameplay so insane that it works itself into being a downright ingenious form of a shooter; everything directly said or implied about the personas is stepping into a tightrope the player has to walk: tread too safely and you get lost in the design, tread too wildly and you get too careless in the design. for as easy as it is to shit on repetitive gameplay, the concept alone is still appealing and everlasting from just how much it exchanges invested time and muscle / mind memory to each other back and forth. it's cliched to say but each member really does bring their flair to an already high-concept game, and it's very excited to let you indulge in setting you up for preparation itself
but it feels all too futile as well. its evil and indifference found in the story isn't just routine, but robotic, directly being a pawn in cover-up after cover-up and conspiracy after conspiracy, and meant to navigate the murky waters outside. every abitrarily-seeming route is drenched in post-wwii anxiety and post 9/11 paranoia from japan and the u.s. in the game, and at certain peaks, especially when you get characters talking directly to you, so much of post-ironic humor and storytelling driving it forward know too well of it going only so far as it allows itself to always right before shit hits the fan. killer7 is practically banking on the player to not only accept its bullshit at face-value, but actually get you to recognize it as a meaningful farce of what is literally dissociated identity from the call of duty
it's a blessing that smth like this was released right in the sweet spot of the 2000s; video games, along with media in general, delved straight into using the war on terror as a means to retool people's own confusion into a spectacle for entertainment; no one, much less the governments in power, actually knew how to handle their own egos that came with fighting the stereotyped evils of the world made from their own bloodstained and dirt-soaked hands. yet, out of many woodworks, there also came plenty of media that took the absurdity of war as a way to both joke around and rampage angrily at our mistakes. killer7 wasn't made to be an ultimate answer or commentary on the era, since it knows most ppl then and now were looking for a good time for whatever special bullshit gave them their own solo parties at the edge of the world, but it sure as succeeds in all its glorious and bittersweet bullshit
1999
remember back in my re1 review where i talked about how the charm of how "clunky" the voice acting and story was made me really appreciate it as trying to emulate a playable b-movie? in one hell of a twist, that same strength works both ways for this. silent hill is actively straining to deliver smth beyond the normal mould of horror gaming, and even putting aside how it spun off into a gigantic franchise and because a blueprint for the genre, it's almost hilarious how deceptively simple approaching the game is. that might sound ridiculous to some, but when stripped down to its bare elements, survival horror is any other video games' concentration on surviving taken up to 11, where every element from saving items, health, and time works to make for a suffocating experiences that's as routine as a game of catch with your dad and him preparing you for the big leagues when you were fiddling around with shit like a nintendo switch just yesterday
but silent hill never loses sight of the ball. every single minute of this game is milking as much gameplay as it can to see how far it can go to actively torment me as much as humanly possible; not so much in the battles or even the puzzles, but some of the absolute best level design and application of tank controls yet, limiting itself to keep me in the dark about what is essentially many elements of stock horror stories drawn out to liminal spaces akin to an open-air prison. the amount of mental suffocation that the game uses at any time (that sound of the glass breaking out of nowhere even when there was no one around made me scream 'fuck' out loud) is staggering, and enough to disorient my already piss poor sense of video game direction, even with the maps
it shouldn't be ignored tho that, at the end of the day, this is just as much indulgence in becoming a part of horror as resident evil was, no matter how many critics and gamers call this game the moment survival horror "grew up." like i said, it's mostly toying around with how far an experience like this can go made with the same love that keeps the genre alive, and it obviously doesn't take much to get spooked for the same reason
but silent hill never loses sight of the ball. every single minute of this game is milking as much gameplay as it can to see how far it can go to actively torment me as much as humanly possible; not so much in the battles or even the puzzles, but some of the absolute best level design and application of tank controls yet, limiting itself to keep me in the dark about what is essentially many elements of stock horror stories drawn out to liminal spaces akin to an open-air prison. the amount of mental suffocation that the game uses at any time (that sound of the glass breaking out of nowhere even when there was no one around made me scream 'fuck' out loud) is staggering, and enough to disorient my already piss poor sense of video game direction, even with the maps
it shouldn't be ignored tho that, at the end of the day, this is just as much indulgence in becoming a part of horror as resident evil was, no matter how many critics and gamers call this game the moment survival horror "grew up." like i said, it's mostly toying around with how far an experience like this can go made with the same love that keeps the genre alive, and it obviously doesn't take much to get spooked for the same reason
2001
peaceful, at least the same way a fly at a picnic in the park is; it may be overwhelming when trying to steer you away from food, but it becomes another charming addition to the outdoors. despite how much it deviates from typical formula of video games, as well as how much the team set out to create smth "realistic", ico is essentially going thru the bare essentials of what amounts to a bedtime story that became a dream of a child. everything feels so simple: the combat is always the same when fighting the shadowmen, the tasks are similar to each other more often and not, and the story plays out like a fairy tale
but, not in spite of, but because it moves by, it feels less then charitable to say that it goes against the "realism" aimed for this game; more then anything, my favorites parts of the game was when i decided to walk instead of run and just press myself into how much love was put into the design, how each pristine pixel and low-key sound mixing; the flies are always at every picnic, but they're just as much little creatures of their own nature as any of the quirks and bugs here. no need to be bothered by how it took ya out of everything; it's the exchange between the two that is another form of interactive beauty
but, not in spite of, but because it moves by, it feels less then charitable to say that it goes against the "realism" aimed for this game; more then anything, my favorites parts of the game was when i decided to walk instead of run and just press myself into how much love was put into the design, how each pristine pixel and low-key sound mixing; the flies are always at every picnic, but they're just as much little creatures of their own nature as any of the quirks and bugs here. no need to be bothered by how it took ya out of everything; it's the exchange between the two that is another form of interactive beauty
2006
i often talk a lot about nostalgia and how much it has been used as a weapon to make us weak in the worst way possible. it is just always crushing to me, to see so many ppl not willing to take the extra step to move towards the future, able to only look back in the past for reference as if it isn't just some other construction of our memories and happiness being used against us. i wish i could open with smth less bitter, but it's hard for me not to, not because i'm not doing well - matter of fact, i'm doin better then i was a few months ago - but the lingering of dread is always there, sifting thru my body, as much as i can also sense the discomfort that is just being alive
it feels especially tragic but not surprising that, at least in game critic circles, the idea of mother 3 not being as "innovate" as earthbound was is around too often, because let's be honest: earthbound was a fantastic game - smth that used the nostalgic fun of video games as a way to fend off that cosmic despair that came in the form of giygas, but through development hell and nintendo being another corporation focused once again on profit over art and people, it seemed all but given that its grip went thru the wringer as a mere product instead of smth beyond that definition. in other words, it's the same moral of the story: if you can't take the heat, then stay out of the fucking kitchen. you don't deserve to be a chef and not just in playing cooking mama, but choosing to boil one of the many chimeras of this game instead of grilling it, even then, not considering why this game, for the absolute safety of it, should never fucking be brought to american stores. i do not care how much you say to be against piracy even when all of y'all played this from a beautifully dedicated fanbase that essentially pirated material to give this goddamn beautiful game; think about the censorship, how they would remove all that would make this game a hollow shell of itself, ignoring why this is one of the best of all time. we don't deserve nintendo as much as we don't deserve to degrade ourselves begging for their attention when they are focused on churning out whatever mario game they announce to make people forget their bullshit
so, for starters, as much as i love rpgs, it is quite incredible the glowup in terms of combat, making me attack to the rhythm and beat of the enemy music and memorizing each one to get good precision. not only is the music really good, but in terms of that medium being a moodsetter, it makes the stakes more high. it asks for your full attention in a way very few rpgs have managed to accomplish
taking the basic elements of earthbound and amplifying them is a no-brainer for a successful game like that, but it works in a way that addresses the foundation and structure behind it. lucas starting off as a crybaby and being made into a real strong boy comes to being it's own platitude in gameplay storytelling, but for as strong as he grows, the more isolated he becomes from everyone save for the party. as the pigmasks further infiltrate the nowhere islands, there's an undeniable loss of innocence that takes the standard rpg tropes into question in similarity to the acceleration of capitalism and hypermodernity. matter of fact, while i did get angry at ppl not looking towards the future, it's a special kind of retrofuturism that keeps the dream alive. obviously, video games are more then a toy, but as horrible fusions of different animals in the vein of a body horror themed mr potato head attack me, it's the horror that makes lucas, for all his blank expressions, a literal player avatar for witnessing how his world gets ruined as much as it is in our reach to connect the dots ourselves. it's easy to get angry at the townspeople of tazmily village for blindly following along to false answers in times of manufactured scarcity and stress, but i just gotta remind myself that the pain alongside nostalgia is also my own fear of an uncertain future.
sometimes, it's hard for me to accept that, just like mother 3, there comes a time when the dragon has to be awoken and can't be appeased anymore, the needles to wake him up like pulling off a band-aid in slo-mo; it's the bravest thing anyone can do, and to play a character able to go for it is as bitter with how it may all be for nothing as if it was some video game we always get a second chance or as sweet as a video game we always get a second chance at
in the epilogue, in total blackness in an ambiguous ending, one of the characters asks if the world is treating me well. it varies, so long as there's pigmasks and friends around me
it feels especially tragic but not surprising that, at least in game critic circles, the idea of mother 3 not being as "innovate" as earthbound was is around too often, because let's be honest: earthbound was a fantastic game - smth that used the nostalgic fun of video games as a way to fend off that cosmic despair that came in the form of giygas, but through development hell and nintendo being another corporation focused once again on profit over art and people, it seemed all but given that its grip went thru the wringer as a mere product instead of smth beyond that definition. in other words, it's the same moral of the story: if you can't take the heat, then stay out of the fucking kitchen. you don't deserve to be a chef and not just in playing cooking mama, but choosing to boil one of the many chimeras of this game instead of grilling it, even then, not considering why this game, for the absolute safety of it, should never fucking be brought to american stores. i do not care how much you say to be against piracy even when all of y'all played this from a beautifully dedicated fanbase that essentially pirated material to give this goddamn beautiful game; think about the censorship, how they would remove all that would make this game a hollow shell of itself, ignoring why this is one of the best of all time. we don't deserve nintendo as much as we don't deserve to degrade ourselves begging for their attention when they are focused on churning out whatever mario game they announce to make people forget their bullshit
so, for starters, as much as i love rpgs, it is quite incredible the glowup in terms of combat, making me attack to the rhythm and beat of the enemy music and memorizing each one to get good precision. not only is the music really good, but in terms of that medium being a moodsetter, it makes the stakes more high. it asks for your full attention in a way very few rpgs have managed to accomplish
taking the basic elements of earthbound and amplifying them is a no-brainer for a successful game like that, but it works in a way that addresses the foundation and structure behind it. lucas starting off as a crybaby and being made into a real strong boy comes to being it's own platitude in gameplay storytelling, but for as strong as he grows, the more isolated he becomes from everyone save for the party. as the pigmasks further infiltrate the nowhere islands, there's an undeniable loss of innocence that takes the standard rpg tropes into question in similarity to the acceleration of capitalism and hypermodernity. matter of fact, while i did get angry at ppl not looking towards the future, it's a special kind of retrofuturism that keeps the dream alive. obviously, video games are more then a toy, but as horrible fusions of different animals in the vein of a body horror themed mr potato head attack me, it's the horror that makes lucas, for all his blank expressions, a literal player avatar for witnessing how his world gets ruined as much as it is in our reach to connect the dots ourselves. it's easy to get angry at the townspeople of tazmily village for blindly following along to false answers in times of manufactured scarcity and stress, but i just gotta remind myself that the pain alongside nostalgia is also my own fear of an uncertain future.
sometimes, it's hard for me to accept that, just like mother 3, there comes a time when the dragon has to be awoken and can't be appeased anymore, the needles to wake him up like pulling off a band-aid in slo-mo; it's the bravest thing anyone can do, and to play a character able to go for it is as bitter with how it may all be for nothing as if it was some video game we always get a second chance or as sweet as a video game we always get a second chance at
in the epilogue, in total blackness in an ambiguous ending, one of the characters asks if the world is treating me well. it varies, so long as there's pigmasks and friends around me
1996
y'know, coming at this from a certain angle, it clicks way more then if i just went into it blind. reading the developers talk about taking big influences from a ton of romero movies and their knock-offs, in such a perfect way, distills why, even with this game's flaws and "flaws", it's hard for me and others to not appreciate what it well. the bad acting and awful dialogue are the second best things here, surrounding a story so entrenched in a mish-mash of horror stories in books and film that it makes the already crazy notion of zombies into an outright secret government plot that the brave special corps people must investigate and destroy. for better and for worse, this is literally simulating a b-horror movie that my friends would put to have a good time during october, and that dialogue and acting, i'll be damned if it doesn't add to the thrill i got
as for the rest...ehhhh, it's tricky to say. beneath it's appearance as a thrid-person shooter is what is inherently an adventure and puzzle game, where the actual best element of being alert and wise to items and weapons stock (saying nothing of the actual puzzles in certain rooms) shines the more dangerous the infected creatures become. having a short memory like me, it is quite the challenge for a game that can be as easy on its face as it's hard on its body. the clunk is both a strength in getting a handle on the tank controls and a weakness as it's quite a lot to maneuver to aim in time
still, for what it is, i still can't help but admire just how golden the best parts are when i was able to get the hang of the gameplay; it works as a mid-tuned jumpstart to greater things and a delightful playable b-movie in its own right
developer gonna catch shit for dissing dawn of the dead tho
as for the rest...ehhhh, it's tricky to say. beneath it's appearance as a thrid-person shooter is what is inherently an adventure and puzzle game, where the actual best element of being alert and wise to items and weapons stock (saying nothing of the actual puzzles in certain rooms) shines the more dangerous the infected creatures become. having a short memory like me, it is quite the challenge for a game that can be as easy on its face as it's hard on its body. the clunk is both a strength in getting a handle on the tank controls and a weakness as it's quite a lot to maneuver to aim in time
still, for what it is, i still can't help but admire just how golden the best parts are when i was able to get the hang of the gameplay; it works as a mid-tuned jumpstart to greater things and a delightful playable b-movie in its own right
developer gonna catch shit for dissing dawn of the dead tho
1992
in retrospect, i deffo was a bit too harsh on the first sonic game; not only was i unfamiliar with the controls, but i played it directly thru my keyboard and didn't have a single clue as to the basics of it. that being said, my overall thoughts on it - that it's very messy control- and course-wise in a way that doesn't feel fun at all - stay the same, and it's with those two in mind that i am ready to bow down to this blue furry creature
while it does have some of the same rough control and obstacle design, sonic 2 manages to pack quite a lot of stuff to turn what made the first game frustrating into one hell of a thrill. not only is there more room to go fast as hell, but the overall gameplay has so much room in making a mad dash to find as many rings as possible, allowing for a ton of exploration and trial by error that leaves enough to go wild and enough to not let someone like myself go manic with speed. it's a miraculous balance that's only heightened by how fluidly it slips between the two, never settling on one for too long that's always surprising as is frustrating in the best possible way. while i deffo wish tails was implemented better - being more of a barrier in the special stages that cost me a lot of rings - this was a blisteringly fun experience, and seeing how other entries become even more polished is going to be a joy to find out
while it does have some of the same rough control and obstacle design, sonic 2 manages to pack quite a lot of stuff to turn what made the first game frustrating into one hell of a thrill. not only is there more room to go fast as hell, but the overall gameplay has so much room in making a mad dash to find as many rings as possible, allowing for a ton of exploration and trial by error that leaves enough to go wild and enough to not let someone like myself go manic with speed. it's a miraculous balance that's only heightened by how fluidly it slips between the two, never settling on one for too long that's always surprising as is frustrating in the best possible way. while i deffo wish tails was implemented better - being more of a barrier in the special stages that cost me a lot of rings - this was a blisteringly fun experience, and seeing how other entries become even more polished is going to be a joy to find out
1998
well the universe is shaped exactly like the earth
you walk a little farther, you will end up where you were
-- 'third planet' - isaac brock, frontman of modest mouse,
---
there was a point where i was halfway between christmas and now when i asked myself why i kept playing on and on? why did it take me this long to stop? i wasn't expecting there to be a limited amount of areas to explore, isn't that the "point" of exploration games? the fact that i said that very word - point - is so fucking embarrassing, even with my limited knowledge of video games. the obvious out of the way, this game does not have a point; i get to explore one of the most beautiful worlds i've ever seen designed and just let my gut and heart be my guide, bumping into anything like a kid running away from his mom outside because there was something shiny in the distance. that is always bait for me, letting most of the barriers that hold back bursts of creativity and spontaneity loose. hell, this entire game perfectly emulates that sense of wonder that the kid who chased the light felt, running away from the grip of mommy's hand to feel the beauty of defiance and freedom that slips away far too soon
but the light will go out, and then what will i be chasing after?
the next day after the halfway point, there was a moment where i came across a pit that i jumped in and, sure enough, died and came back as if it was nothing. i kept doing this over and over again every time i ended up there, until one day, i bumped into a wall, and landed me in a floating island, and most jarring of all, there was none of the bounce of the chillout rush in the form of the music playing, and i just stood there, looking at the screen, realizing i was in my room again; night was settling in and all felt still
the next days were shadowed by that feeling; for all i could know, i was basically doing what i do on my walks outdoors or times when i am doing absolutely nothing as a rush of nameless people, weird colors on different walls and areas of nature, and the soundtrack bubbling around my world. the lines between the game and my life forced me to confront how longer would all of this go on? existential dread only amplified here not just from what i mentioned before, but the very fabric of its concept as a game with no goal, no battles, nothing of what i am used to when it comes to how i perceive this medium making me ask why i continue the journey
it's like that with a lot of childhood games, ain't it? animal crossing, pokemon; you can put so many hours into them and at a certain point, you get bored and buy the next thing from gamestop or steam. but those funny people on the screen...their lives extend deeper then how much one would usually engage with them like texting someone who won't message back and hasn't for many months or even years. mechanics meant to keep you entertained and coming back to the game as much as you can until turn it off, look at your computer screen and say "hey...were those wrinkles on my face there before?"
and for all the better, for all the ways our constructions and interpretations of time vary and show up in our logs, i feel extremely blessed for a game this silly and nonsensical to remind me why i play the game until the flatline closed the curtains, game over not a sign of defeat, but of peace
you walk a little farther, you will end up where you were
-- 'third planet' - isaac brock, frontman of modest mouse,
---
there was a point where i was halfway between christmas and now when i asked myself why i kept playing on and on? why did it take me this long to stop? i wasn't expecting there to be a limited amount of areas to explore, isn't that the "point" of exploration games? the fact that i said that very word - point - is so fucking embarrassing, even with my limited knowledge of video games. the obvious out of the way, this game does not have a point; i get to explore one of the most beautiful worlds i've ever seen designed and just let my gut and heart be my guide, bumping into anything like a kid running away from his mom outside because there was something shiny in the distance. that is always bait for me, letting most of the barriers that hold back bursts of creativity and spontaneity loose. hell, this entire game perfectly emulates that sense of wonder that the kid who chased the light felt, running away from the grip of mommy's hand to feel the beauty of defiance and freedom that slips away far too soon
but the light will go out, and then what will i be chasing after?
the next day after the halfway point, there was a moment where i came across a pit that i jumped in and, sure enough, died and came back as if it was nothing. i kept doing this over and over again every time i ended up there, until one day, i bumped into a wall, and landed me in a floating island, and most jarring of all, there was none of the bounce of the chillout rush in the form of the music playing, and i just stood there, looking at the screen, realizing i was in my room again; night was settling in and all felt still
the next days were shadowed by that feeling; for all i could know, i was basically doing what i do on my walks outdoors or times when i am doing absolutely nothing as a rush of nameless people, weird colors on different walls and areas of nature, and the soundtrack bubbling around my world. the lines between the game and my life forced me to confront how longer would all of this go on? existential dread only amplified here not just from what i mentioned before, but the very fabric of its concept as a game with no goal, no battles, nothing of what i am used to when it comes to how i perceive this medium making me ask why i continue the journey
it's like that with a lot of childhood games, ain't it? animal crossing, pokemon; you can put so many hours into them and at a certain point, you get bored and buy the next thing from gamestop or steam. but those funny people on the screen...their lives extend deeper then how much one would usually engage with them like texting someone who won't message back and hasn't for many months or even years. mechanics meant to keep you entertained and coming back to the game as much as you can until turn it off, look at your computer screen and say "hey...were those wrinkles on my face there before?"
and for all the better, for all the ways our constructions and interpretations of time vary and show up in our logs, i feel extremely blessed for a game this silly and nonsensical to remind me why i play the game until the flatline closed the curtains, game over not a sign of defeat, but of peace
1998
this does not include bridget; therefore it's soul shall be damned
okay but for real, despite how choppy the controls are (those special controls feel like trying to play along to meshuggah lmao), i can't deny that it has a really cute appeal! while there are definitely better fighting games on the playstation, it's clear that the team were trying to extend the language of the genre to other places! in obvious ways, they did it too well, not giving a lot of room for improvement (the training room was a decent time, but contrastingly too simple as a ground for its purpose), but even then, it's also what gave me the biggest thrill playing it! the adrenaline rushes as you try to think fast and go beyond motor skills was as fun as it was insanely frustrating. it's definitely a case where the best things about it are best scattered around instead of forced on ya in the same place, but for what it is, i respect what it's going for
now if i can only manage to get to bridget once i have the means too..
okay but for real, despite how choppy the controls are (those special controls feel like trying to play along to meshuggah lmao), i can't deny that it has a really cute appeal! while there are definitely better fighting games on the playstation, it's clear that the team were trying to extend the language of the genre to other places! in obvious ways, they did it too well, not giving a lot of room for improvement (the training room was a decent time, but contrastingly too simple as a ground for its purpose), but even then, it's also what gave me the biggest thrill playing it! the adrenaline rushes as you try to think fast and go beyond motor skills was as fun as it was insanely frustrating. it's definitely a case where the best things about it are best scattered around instead of forced on ya in the same place, but for what it is, i respect what it's going for
now if i can only manage to get to bridget once i have the means too..
1998
“In those dreams…
I loved one woman
No matter the day
No matter the era…
That did not change…
Nor did her name”...
as a joke, it's pretty damn funny to call the only original work of art the very first cave painting way before history started to be recorded. i know that i heard many people come to that conclusion whenever they'd call a movie or game unoriginal and got into a debate that needed growth and time flesh out. but you know what? i'm going to take take that conclusion and push it as far as it can go: for a hypothetical, let's say it was of a poorly drawn human. the details are scarce enough that historians can draw anything from it. it's about the love for another, the capability of destruction, a simple portrait. history in the mix as something where the lack of information becomes both a drawback for finding out facts and a boost for multiple forms emerging. then the cave drawing got expanded into bigger things: paintings, photography, etc. we used it to craft the biggest pieces of world culture, becoming the forefront of powerhouse religion and spirituality, the people in power who are only in it for themself, and all the way up the very idea of a god
i could go on a half-hearted gush on why smth like xenogears has a lot of what i said in mind, but at the same time, i realize that i'm just going to be repeating myself; i do it too often with my own reviews, always tracing it back to my deepest fears and anxieties, hope and despair for this world in beautiful but exaggerated poetic. i don't want it to change for the most part, but there comes a time when i just have to let it move out of the front seat to the passenger seat next to the one handling the wheel, working together and not letting two extremes lead me to missing the point of art, which includes xenogears.
but i am doing it again, huh? well, things don't come as easily as i want. the base of this write-up still is the same: xenogears is the second greatest work of art i have ever personally experienced. there is always an unfair barometer where i have to see how art holds up in comparison to eva (my all time fave), but the fact that this is pretty close to being on the same-level as life-changing as it is enough to be of shock to anyone who is familiar to me, even if it's only vaguely
for the obvious facts about this game that are talked about: how vast the plot and lore is, how emotionally taxing it can be, the unfinished disc 2 leaving parts just involving narration, the troubled production with both game development and translation. i can go on, but it's not only a miracle that it came out to begin with, or even that it's as incredible as it turned out, but the very fact that the game comes at the crossroads of the split of storytelling and gameplay and works together in intricate ways that, in a turnabout way, answer the question of why there is still often a useless debate in many circles on if video games are art
truth be told, and as much as i hate to say it, especially on this site for...obvioius reasons. i see where ppl like ebert come from. if you look at the games that people bring up to prove the medium is actual art, you get things that appeal to the nature of storytelling that are heavily story-focused. ebert's overall critique of the industry and the games being mere "products" is undoubtedly selling it short, but who i am to judge a dead man when i think more about how the best thing someone had to do to get "reddit gold" was post a vast video game landscape with a title trying to dish ebert in a way that only furthers his wrong assumptions. as the medium grows older, so does the power that comes with making games as fun as others are in it for the sake of money. (quite an ironic fate in a way case seeing as how the ceo of square ruined the company by going all in on nfts.) essentially, it's a battle that comes as a detriment to the promise of this medium on both sides; on one end are outdated people taking the marketing of video games grown in narrow-minded spaces fit to a capitalist narrative, and the backlash involving those trying to market games the same way one can try to give a sense of a gigantic movie franchise by posting a shot they think is cool
and then you have xenogears. the fact that it was released in the midpoint of some of the first games and the modern scene feel almost too obvious to recognize it as a major example of games beginning to lean into the cinematics of visuals and storytelling. for as much flak it's gotten for a supposed emphasis on narration over gameplay, this is a game where both those elements are part of the same body. the random encounters of enemies - both regular and bosses - and the different kinds of battles - on-foot and in the gears - is heightened by a refined active time battle, with the two gameplay mechanics bringing the stakes the story and characters are in to even greater extremes. it's so easy to get caught in either aspect, that the other can be drowned out by the sheer thrill. it definitely took me some time to not only get used to the controls, but to try and calm myself down whenever something so stunning with the lore, characters, and story to get in a right headspace during battle
ofc, an rpg character team is nothing new, but with all the characters that are given a spotlight, no matter how small they may be, it was enough to remind me of the stakes of sports that have been constantly developed for the modern era since the dawn of humanity. watching ads for last year's world cup was a bittersweet reminder of it, hearing players say that they're in it to win, not to have fun, liable to lash out at teammates for representing a country's whole ability. it's not just the pressure, but the dedication that the athletes and fans have, driving themselves for some sense of a united nationwide community. it is easy to go on to something bigger like the olympics, but what about the fact that video game tournaments are starting to be recognized as sport? it's poetic irony that way, how starting from the organization of sports ends up with those very roots of humanity being broadened, at once good for a great understanding of what we are capable of in the mix of technological use to understand our souls, and at once bad for those capabilities used for playing with the fire of charred earth and soul
haha, there i went again. guess i really can't stop philosophizing whenever i get super touched by something as beautiful as this...on with the final boss battle!
so yes, all this talk of roots and games to the very meaning of life, and whatnot. i wouldn't be going into all this if it wasn't for the fact that xenogears, something made in those roots, is as self-aware of its ambitions and shortcomings then a lot of its harshest critics make it out to be. why else would a game like this spending five and a half minutes on an anime opening and the next thirty or forty driving home not just a simple anti-war message and the games and tools central to its nervous system, but testing the reflexes having the character you play be placed already in forces beyond his understanding of the rules and tools themselves? why else would that story splinter off into twelves connected plots that all lean back to giving you a chance to become a part of a grand plot unfurling and offering an answer - no matter how subjective it is - for what it takes to truly face yourself, the people you love, and not be bound by full determination and full free will? it's not just using gnosticism as a way to be edgy and "too cool" for christianity, but as a way to use a very ancient religion that is the predecessor for the overarching ideology that the most powerful countries in the modern age to rub in just how easy it is for the fact that, just like fei, just like elly, like citan, rico, bart, billy, maria, margie, things are in fact working exactly as the victors of the war before the war intended them to be: accepting that we're too good or evil for ourselves to be worthy of such an idea as power, as strength...as love
i'm not gonna sugercoat it: february 2023 was absolute shit for reasons i don't wanna make public yet. the base line of it tho was anger at how it seemed like everyone around me - those who i know and others who will never meet save for a second-long awkward look walking down the same street - was nothing but charred souls, not just simply corrupted or born evil, but so fucked up by the brutality of power and false messages from God and gods, so deep into habits that we keep playing despite bring us closer to death, that it seemed like everyone who has ever existed, the entirety of humanity, were naturally disappointing, naturally able to hurt each other at the same level of emotional and physical pain, naturally doomed to keep walking the dead of the earth until the dirt becomes sand and the oceans cover a third of california. i didn't just want it to burn, i want it all to disappear in a snap of the finger
i'm not going to pretend like xenogears absolutely changed my life or altered my perception of the world. i already said enough about it when i first got obsessed with eva back in '16, and become older, tried, and true enough to see it was in me all along. i will, however, say sometimes you need something to give you that extra push to not only keep you sane but process art by having it reflect the core of who i and many other people are. it doesn't matter whether or not the very first cave painting is original; what does, however, is how a simple carving that has probably been mulled over as the world presses on has lived not in its existence, but the fact that something that has stayed there for so long was able to preserve itself. how wonderful and strange it is to see that be applied to rendering and programming this game being one of the few human works that don't just fully believe love will save the world, but is as much a tool for pushing thru weird enemy, giant robots, monsters, dictators, and a fucking god if it means you get to live another day to find the beauty in the person you love the most. if you had to ask what appealed to me about video games to begin with and why i decided to start getting into the medium back in mid-november, i'd say and still believe that it offers a bridge between the games humanity has played since the dawn of our existence, the mid-point of technology able to craft an image in real time with photography and film, and the use of modern-day technology to fulfill experiences made for being a part of the world deeper then "suspending disbelief" at a movie, flying directly towards coming to terms with some of the most ancient yet still powerful ways we remind ourself why we live to begin with. in that way, xenogears is just another step in how i will survive the rest of the year and beyond, and it's now that it can be possible to recognize the love and hope it truly takes to not take eternity and a day for granted
I loved one woman
No matter the day
No matter the era…
That did not change…
Nor did her name”...
as a joke, it's pretty damn funny to call the only original work of art the very first cave painting way before history started to be recorded. i know that i heard many people come to that conclusion whenever they'd call a movie or game unoriginal and got into a debate that needed growth and time flesh out. but you know what? i'm going to take take that conclusion and push it as far as it can go: for a hypothetical, let's say it was of a poorly drawn human. the details are scarce enough that historians can draw anything from it. it's about the love for another, the capability of destruction, a simple portrait. history in the mix as something where the lack of information becomes both a drawback for finding out facts and a boost for multiple forms emerging. then the cave drawing got expanded into bigger things: paintings, photography, etc. we used it to craft the biggest pieces of world culture, becoming the forefront of powerhouse religion and spirituality, the people in power who are only in it for themself, and all the way up the very idea of a god
i could go on a half-hearted gush on why smth like xenogears has a lot of what i said in mind, but at the same time, i realize that i'm just going to be repeating myself; i do it too often with my own reviews, always tracing it back to my deepest fears and anxieties, hope and despair for this world in beautiful but exaggerated poetic. i don't want it to change for the most part, but there comes a time when i just have to let it move out of the front seat to the passenger seat next to the one handling the wheel, working together and not letting two extremes lead me to missing the point of art, which includes xenogears.
but i am doing it again, huh? well, things don't come as easily as i want. the base of this write-up still is the same: xenogears is the second greatest work of art i have ever personally experienced. there is always an unfair barometer where i have to see how art holds up in comparison to eva (my all time fave), but the fact that this is pretty close to being on the same-level as life-changing as it is enough to be of shock to anyone who is familiar to me, even if it's only vaguely
for the obvious facts about this game that are talked about: how vast the plot and lore is, how emotionally taxing it can be, the unfinished disc 2 leaving parts just involving narration, the troubled production with both game development and translation. i can go on, but it's not only a miracle that it came out to begin with, or even that it's as incredible as it turned out, but the very fact that the game comes at the crossroads of the split of storytelling and gameplay and works together in intricate ways that, in a turnabout way, answer the question of why there is still often a useless debate in many circles on if video games are art
truth be told, and as much as i hate to say it, especially on this site for...obvioius reasons. i see where ppl like ebert come from. if you look at the games that people bring up to prove the medium is actual art, you get things that appeal to the nature of storytelling that are heavily story-focused. ebert's overall critique of the industry and the games being mere "products" is undoubtedly selling it short, but who i am to judge a dead man when i think more about how the best thing someone had to do to get "reddit gold" was post a vast video game landscape with a title trying to dish ebert in a way that only furthers his wrong assumptions. as the medium grows older, so does the power that comes with making games as fun as others are in it for the sake of money. (quite an ironic fate in a way case seeing as how the ceo of square ruined the company by going all in on nfts.) essentially, it's a battle that comes as a detriment to the promise of this medium on both sides; on one end are outdated people taking the marketing of video games grown in narrow-minded spaces fit to a capitalist narrative, and the backlash involving those trying to market games the same way one can try to give a sense of a gigantic movie franchise by posting a shot they think is cool
and then you have xenogears. the fact that it was released in the midpoint of some of the first games and the modern scene feel almost too obvious to recognize it as a major example of games beginning to lean into the cinematics of visuals and storytelling. for as much flak it's gotten for a supposed emphasis on narration over gameplay, this is a game where both those elements are part of the same body. the random encounters of enemies - both regular and bosses - and the different kinds of battles - on-foot and in the gears - is heightened by a refined active time battle, with the two gameplay mechanics bringing the stakes the story and characters are in to even greater extremes. it's so easy to get caught in either aspect, that the other can be drowned out by the sheer thrill. it definitely took me some time to not only get used to the controls, but to try and calm myself down whenever something so stunning with the lore, characters, and story to get in a right headspace during battle
ofc, an rpg character team is nothing new, but with all the characters that are given a spotlight, no matter how small they may be, it was enough to remind me of the stakes of sports that have been constantly developed for the modern era since the dawn of humanity. watching ads for last year's world cup was a bittersweet reminder of it, hearing players say that they're in it to win, not to have fun, liable to lash out at teammates for representing a country's whole ability. it's not just the pressure, but the dedication that the athletes and fans have, driving themselves for some sense of a united nationwide community. it is easy to go on to something bigger like the olympics, but what about the fact that video game tournaments are starting to be recognized as sport? it's poetic irony that way, how starting from the organization of sports ends up with those very roots of humanity being broadened, at once good for a great understanding of what we are capable of in the mix of technological use to understand our souls, and at once bad for those capabilities used for playing with the fire of charred earth and soul
haha, there i went again. guess i really can't stop philosophizing whenever i get super touched by something as beautiful as this...on with the final boss battle!
so yes, all this talk of roots and games to the very meaning of life, and whatnot. i wouldn't be going into all this if it wasn't for the fact that xenogears, something made in those roots, is as self-aware of its ambitions and shortcomings then a lot of its harshest critics make it out to be. why else would a game like this spending five and a half minutes on an anime opening and the next thirty or forty driving home not just a simple anti-war message and the games and tools central to its nervous system, but testing the reflexes having the character you play be placed already in forces beyond his understanding of the rules and tools themselves? why else would that story splinter off into twelves connected plots that all lean back to giving you a chance to become a part of a grand plot unfurling and offering an answer - no matter how subjective it is - for what it takes to truly face yourself, the people you love, and not be bound by full determination and full free will? it's not just using gnosticism as a way to be edgy and "too cool" for christianity, but as a way to use a very ancient religion that is the predecessor for the overarching ideology that the most powerful countries in the modern age to rub in just how easy it is for the fact that, just like fei, just like elly, like citan, rico, bart, billy, maria, margie, things are in fact working exactly as the victors of the war before the war intended them to be: accepting that we're too good or evil for ourselves to be worthy of such an idea as power, as strength...as love
i'm not gonna sugercoat it: february 2023 was absolute shit for reasons i don't wanna make public yet. the base line of it tho was anger at how it seemed like everyone around me - those who i know and others who will never meet save for a second-long awkward look walking down the same street - was nothing but charred souls, not just simply corrupted or born evil, but so fucked up by the brutality of power and false messages from God and gods, so deep into habits that we keep playing despite bring us closer to death, that it seemed like everyone who has ever existed, the entirety of humanity, were naturally disappointing, naturally able to hurt each other at the same level of emotional and physical pain, naturally doomed to keep walking the dead of the earth until the dirt becomes sand and the oceans cover a third of california. i didn't just want it to burn, i want it all to disappear in a snap of the finger
i'm not going to pretend like xenogears absolutely changed my life or altered my perception of the world. i already said enough about it when i first got obsessed with eva back in '16, and become older, tried, and true enough to see it was in me all along. i will, however, say sometimes you need something to give you that extra push to not only keep you sane but process art by having it reflect the core of who i and many other people are. it doesn't matter whether or not the very first cave painting is original; what does, however, is how a simple carving that has probably been mulled over as the world presses on has lived not in its existence, but the fact that something that has stayed there for so long was able to preserve itself. how wonderful and strange it is to see that be applied to rendering and programming this game being one of the few human works that don't just fully believe love will save the world, but is as much a tool for pushing thru weird enemy, giant robots, monsters, dictators, and a fucking god if it means you get to live another day to find the beauty in the person you love the most. if you had to ask what appealed to me about video games to begin with and why i decided to start getting into the medium back in mid-november, i'd say and still believe that it offers a bridge between the games humanity has played since the dawn of our existence, the mid-point of technology able to craft an image in real time with photography and film, and the use of modern-day technology to fulfill experiences made for being a part of the world deeper then "suspending disbelief" at a movie, flying directly towards coming to terms with some of the most ancient yet still powerful ways we remind ourself why we live to begin with. in that way, xenogears is just another step in how i will survive the rest of the year and beyond, and it's now that it can be possible to recognize the love and hope it truly takes to not take eternity and a day for granted
1994
for as much as video games have been arguably the dominant form of art today, my world with them has been distant. the most i have ever had was a wii and ds with a huge obsession with pokemon; games that were mentioned everywhere growing up, from friends to countdown youtubers like joshscorcher, seemed to be hidden treasure on a giant hill that seemed unable to be "conquered" by me. i do not have a lot of nostalgia for video games as a whole, save for pokemon, but from listening in on school convos and videos gave me the closest experience to capturing the magic that the medium had for a lot of people
stumbling onto earthbound felt like a fever dream come true; the place i live at recently got a snes that had pre-packaged games, one of which was, of course, earthbound. it was an opportunity i had to take before it might one day vanish in front of me. not counting a majority of the games i played as a kid, this felt like the first holistic game experience i ever had in my entire life
and i didn't know why for most of it! i deffo knew how it was considered one of the greatest games ever made, i knew a lot about giygas and his disturbing boss battle, i was familiar with mother 3, i was absolutely clicking with it, but something was missing to help unlock whatever "secret spell" it had cast over me. as the game's innocence started to become more and more wistful tho, it suddenly hit me like a freight train. beneath all the beautiful quirky weirdness was smth that directly talked to me about what it truly means to be a part of a video game. i'm sure you can find a lot of ppl saying the story is nothing special, and while they're right, it's the fact that the entire thing hones in on baseline fantasies, directly speaking to ppl about their lost sense of happiness and innocence as they get involved with ness' journey becoming a quest to destroy, what in essence is, the foreboding world of dark adulthood. giygas is the final triumph, a final boss so terrifying for such a colorful game that is perfectly out of place as the fear of facing off something an existential cosmic being wraps around the sweet homely portrait of ... well, home! the relief i felt at being freed from the nightmare of giygas' terror was something so powerful, making me discover for real why video games are such a wonderful medium of art like i was that bubbly kid who kept most of their despair at bay
it is honestly everything i could ask for as the first true gaming experience and the start of my journey in a medium i've neglected for too long
stumbling onto earthbound felt like a fever dream come true; the place i live at recently got a snes that had pre-packaged games, one of which was, of course, earthbound. it was an opportunity i had to take before it might one day vanish in front of me. not counting a majority of the games i played as a kid, this felt like the first holistic game experience i ever had in my entire life
and i didn't know why for most of it! i deffo knew how it was considered one of the greatest games ever made, i knew a lot about giygas and his disturbing boss battle, i was familiar with mother 3, i was absolutely clicking with it, but something was missing to help unlock whatever "secret spell" it had cast over me. as the game's innocence started to become more and more wistful tho, it suddenly hit me like a freight train. beneath all the beautiful quirky weirdness was smth that directly talked to me about what it truly means to be a part of a video game. i'm sure you can find a lot of ppl saying the story is nothing special, and while they're right, it's the fact that the entire thing hones in on baseline fantasies, directly speaking to ppl about their lost sense of happiness and innocence as they get involved with ness' journey becoming a quest to destroy, what in essence is, the foreboding world of dark adulthood. giygas is the final triumph, a final boss so terrifying for such a colorful game that is perfectly out of place as the fear of facing off something an existential cosmic being wraps around the sweet homely portrait of ... well, home! the relief i felt at being freed from the nightmare of giygas' terror was something so powerful, making me discover for real why video games are such a wonderful medium of art like i was that bubbly kid who kept most of their despair at bay
it is honestly everything i could ask for as the first true gaming experience and the start of my journey in a medium i've neglected for too long