People might say Alleyway is “terrible” or “was only good in 1989” but it actually served a very important purpose in the Game Boy’s launch! You see, the Game Boy was Nintendo’s first handheld to use interchangeable cartridges. Meaning, if you don’t like the game you’re playing, you can rip it out and replace it with Tetris! This directly and positively affected the sales of both Tetris and the Game Boy itself, leading both to become some of the best selling video game things of all time.

Alleyway still served a purpose, however. Continuously removing and replacing the cartridge in the port is known to clean the port! You don’t need a fancy cleaning kit, you have Alleyway!

Rental is average at best, but you won't miss much if you play the game, as I finish the game with all achievements within half an hour. The game is like Silent Hill and Resident Evil with the aesthetics of Animal Crossing. I was more annoyed than scared, especially with the maze. I feel that the game tried too hard to be frightening and came off forced. There aren't any accessibility options or controller and mouse support, and you can't even exit the game without terminating the process. I hope for something more eventful with this, as it's candidly promising. If possible, please add native Mac and Linux support.

You haven’t become a true man without having at least one good bonking session, and my first go-round with Bonk’s Adventure certainly did make me a man, but I can’t say the experience was all too wonderful as I had hoped it would be. For the most part, it was a decent adventure, with decent visuals, good music, simple yet fun enough gameplay, and an amount of personality when it came to Bonk himself that most video game protagonists of that era wish they could have, but not only was there that boss rush that makes my blood boil something fierce, but it also managed to bring things down when it came to how Bonk controlled, which just felt very stiff and unreliable a lot of the time, which did definitely bring the game down quite a bit. But of course though, that was just the first attempt by the devs at making a bonking phenomenon, so of course, mistakes are bound to happen. Surely, they could correct themselves when it comes to the second game, right?.......... well, no, but they tried anyways with Bonk’s Revenge.

For those of you who don’t know, while this series is developed by the Red Company, a company I had never heard of before until doing that first Bonk review, the series is published by Hudson Soft, which should paint you a clear picture as to what kind of series this will turn out to be. Not to generalize, but Hudson REALLY like keeping things simple and same-y for a lot of their titles, and while I don’t think this will be the case for all Bonk games to come out, it certainly was the case with this game, because as a whole, I would say this game is on the same level of quality that the original Bonk was on. It’s a good game, with there being improvements made overall to make it look and feel like a better time, but it doesn’t put in any effort to make itself seem like a huge step forward in comparison to the original.

The story is a little more ridiculous and silly then that of the previous game, where the evil King Drool III, I guess as revenge for what happened in the previous game (that’s ironic), decides to steal half of the entire moon, tearing apart the kingdom of Moonland and leaving Princess Za in shambles, so it is up to Bonk to take him down and get the other half of the moon back, which is actually a lot more of an entertaining set-up compared to the original, just because of how ridiculous it all is. The graphics are pretty good, being a MAJOR step-up from the original, with all of the sprites looking much more detailed and expressive, so I will definitely give it props for that, the music is good, with there being plenty of decent tracks to listen to, although I do remember one or two of them being like nails-on-a-chalkboard to the ears, and the gameplay/control is…. basically the same as the original, which is great for all of those who ate up the previous game, but not so much for me.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of the Bonkster once again, go through a set of seven different rounds, each taking you through various typical and unordinary prehistoric locations, use your giant fucking noggin to bonk everyone you see into submission, gather plenty of different food items to not only heal yourself, but also to gain temporary power-ups, as well as extra lives, and take on plenty of bosses that can range from being pretty easy to being pretty tedious and frustrating. The bonking experience remains practically unchanged, meaning that those who have proper experience with the first game will have no problem jumping into this game, and for the most part, it functions and plays as well as that previous game, if not even more so.

It did feel good coming back to this series after so long, so I didn’t feel that sense of repetition when playing this game (for the most part), and I had plenty of fun with it. It still does feel just as satisfying as before to knock around enemies with your big-ass head, and managing to bonk your foes at just the right spot to not only take them out, but also to help out with platforming challenges, was just as sweet to pull off, as it should be with any platformers. Rewards can be found around every corner, making going around these levels somewhat tedious, yet very helpful for those that end up in quite the bind, and these goodies can even assist you in gaining MORE goodies! After you beat each boss, depending on how many smiley faces you get throughout the stages, you can reach a certain level of bonus area that can grant you extra lives, health, and power-ups, with the amount you do get increasing for each level, encouraging the player to explore the areas as much as they can to get all of these sweets………. even though I didn’t do that, but hey, it’s still there for those that got the time.

However, if I were to judge this and the last game side-by-side in terms of gameplay, there is practically zero difference or improvement to be seen here. If you have played Bonk’s Adventure, then you have also played Bonk’s Revenge without even realizing it, cause the game makes no effort to try to enhance or develop the formula even further, making this mostly feel like a retread of what we have seen previously. Not to mention, the game doesn’t fix ANY of my problems that I had with the previous one, where Bonk himself still has some pretty rigid controls that can make several sections quite frustrating to go through, and there is still an unnecessary boss rush here that is now somehow WORSE. Rather then just simply fighting the bosses again, this game takes the Kirby’s Dream Land route and makes it so that you have to play through a mini level before you fight the boss, and as soon as I figured this out, I literally said out loud “Oh, FUCK off”. Seriously, after playing all of these games, I have discovered how much I truly despise boss rushes that don’t do what Mega Man does, because they are EVERYWHERE. I can never escape….

Overall, despite how much nicer it looks and sounds (at times), Bonk’s Revenge is either on the same level or slightly over the level of quality that Bonk’s Adventure was at, still being a good game that fans of the first will definitely enjoy, but it does feel more like this time’s equivalent of a standalone expansion rather than a true sequel. I would recommend it for those who loved the first game, as well as those who are huge Bonk fans in general, but for everyone else, you aren’t missing out on much by not checking out this one. Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna go now, and think about more ways that I could possibly integrate the word “bonk” in these reviews, while also being just inappropriate enough to where it won’t get taken down off this website. See ya then!

Game #600

Senuas Saga: Hellblade II is an impressive game with numerous flaws. To start, Hellblade is graphically impressive, thanks to the power of Unreal Engine 5. From the face models to landscapes, the level of detail is almost perfect. In addition, the sound design is astonishing. For example, the voices that plague Senua are perfectly executed to the point where they can overwhelm you, accurately replicating Senua’s experience with psychosis, especially in tense moments. The voice acting is also great, primarily with Melina Juergens as Senua, and Helen Goalen and Abbi Greenland as the voices in Senua’s head. Ninja Theory invested a lot of time in developing Hellblade II, and it’s easy to see why. The graphics, sound design, and voice acting are all amazing.

Unfortunately, I found Hellblade’s “gameplay” and story to be disappointing. The story was not as intriguing or as impactful and lacked any depth or complexity compared to the first game. Now this can be because the first Hellblade set such high standards for its sequel. The gameplay, however, was repetitive, which negatively affected my experience. The combat felt incredibly realistic, however, it’s super simple and largely stays the same throughout the whole game, which causes it to get stale quickly. Puzzles also felt more like a burden than a challenge, causing the game’s pacing to slow down dramatically. Finally, while I do not mind walking places, the walking segments in the game felt like fluff to make the game feel longer. I strongly believe that the game’s walking segments could have been reduced/altered. Compared to the first game, Hellblade’s gameplay and story feel like a downgrade, which is extremely disappointing.

If you were to take out the gameplay and mold the visuals and story into an animated film, it would be a good film. Unfortunately, as a game, it’s mediocre, and this is largely because of its repetitive gameplay. Don’t get me wrong, it is technically impressive, especially with its beautiful visuals and realistic sound design, however it feels more like a tech demo. Considering it is only 6 hours long and free with Gamepass, I would still recommend giving it a shot. To sum up, while Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II falls short in terms of gameplay and story, its sound design and visuals are impressive. All together I am giving Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II a 6/10. I am interested to see whether Microsoft considers this a game to be a success and hopefully we won’t see Ninja Theory on the chopping block soon.

I liked it, but I do have mixed thoughts regarding this game.

For one, the controls are pretty unique and cool at first glance, until it doesn't work as well as it could. It will not be responsive at times, and when it does it may not respond instantaneously which could be fatal. It also won't definitely be precise. When it does work, it's pretty cool. When it doesn't (which it will multiple times), it will be frustrating.

The story is alright, it's definitely more story driven than most other Zelda games, but it still follows the traditional formula of the games as well. The overworld looks really nice, and isn't just an empty wasteland. I find both the bosses and dungeons good, some more than others. Though they're not as consistent as in TP but none is bad. The final boss fight, in particular is incredible.

My biggest gripe with this game is the blatant bloat throughout the storyline. Zelda games always follow the formula of collecting multiple items through sections like dungeons, this can happen once or twice more. Skyward sword does this, but took it 3 steps further. At the very least in other Zelda games, the items you collect as "fillers" for the main items are usually important, though it is also true at times for this game, it is also not for most of it. This doesn't stop until the end. Multiple times in the storyline, assuming you need to retrieve 3 items, each may need you doing filler quests like fetch quests or collecting multiple other useless items or backtracking. For example. even near the end of the story, you need to collect 17 different items (which doesn't do anything) as a form of "test" in an area to get 1 out of 3 of the main items you actually need. The game will throw excuses like "it's a test" a lot, and though it makes sense in the beginning, they still throw you that near the end of the game after you've already done 10 other "tests" and got your "upgraded" gears. I personally don't mind this formula as long as it's executed well, which it doesn't in this game and just ends up as blatant padding.

However, aside from that and some gripes with the controls, everything else is done well and I still have fun playing this game. Though, I definitely won't be giving this a replay any time in the near future.

Apparently, it is only made by one person. Which doesn't seem that way in most of my playthrough, but I will take that into account.

I don't typically play side-scroller, but I will say that the combat is really engaging and fun. It has a complex system, which can get pretty formulaic late in the game, but I guess it's a given, considering how broken you can get later on.

The soundtrack is actually incredibly hype.

The story is where it's at. You started off playing as a hero with a bird looking for someone dear to him and you get this feeling that something is.. off. It's nothing special or unique at first glance, but this game is the epitome of going from 0 to 100. Never in a million years would I have ever guess the game's final sequence of moments or even the hours leading up to it judging from how it starts. There are a lot of plot twists that you won't expect and fortunately it's quite well done. It does get pretty "anime" at times, not in a bad way mostly, I would say it's part of the game's charm.

The characters, especially the main cast, have a soul and personality and not just there to push the MC. They all have their own goals and role to play.

My only complaint for this game is that, it does get slightly dragged near the end. There are new elements but some things are also recycled. Since, it is made just by one person, I will let that slide. Though at this point you're probably too invested for this to make you lose interest anyways.

Overall, this is hands down one of the best Indie games I've played, especially in terms of narrative. KEIZO really poured his soul into this, and I hope to see more of his work.