125 reviews liked by Emivader


I cannot get over how pretty Lara Croft is. No matter how roughed up she gets, how much mud, snow, dirt, or the blood of her enemies she gets on her clothes, my heart skips a beat.

I thought this was a pretty satisfying follow-up to Tom Raider. The scope of Lara's adventure feels grand and there's some pretty great action sequences. It's a really good looking game too with great environments to explore and find hidden treasures and in-universe lore.

the dedication to the production design is absolutely commendable.

I can only assume you also got this game in a very cheap and questionable bundle. Or you saw those rocking tits; we don't judge here.

FREE HOT GAMER TIP: just slap all your points into the crossbow ATK speed and turn your brain off

The minigames are goddamn annoying. The story is bland and undercooked. The artwork looks like they just colored in the sketches made during storyboarding. The "animations" are just using the distortion tool in photoshop. The voice "acting" is phoned in and sounds like they just accepted every first take. If there was an ounce of love or care put into this game, its very well hidden. Why did they even bother? I know I shouldn't have.

Nancymeter - 25/100
Achievement Completion - 38%

Those posts on Twitter and Facebook where British people post pictures of boiled unseasoned chicken and complain that putting ketchup on it makes it "too spicy," but in video game form

This game is truly depressing. Not to say the setting is sad, but it is another game showing the decline of one of my favorite developers. It is reminiscent of Mass Effect Andromeda, the game that was the first clear step in the decline of another beloved developer.

Cons:
- loading screens every 10 seconds
- empty worlds with the same 5 copy pasted locations
- AI is shit
- Animation is the same lifeless crap
- the lauded gunplay is and improvement but thats a low friggin bar. Its still behind games decades old
- cant fly your ship place to place. In skyrim you could actually go to any mountain. In Starfield if you actually take the hours (in real time) to fly to the next planet you find a floating jpeg
- the feeling you get traveling in skyrim, the possibility of random encounters is lost, the soul of what makes bethesda games great is absent in this title
- lastly its a buggy mess. We fans of bethesda looked the other way for years because the experience we got, one we couldn't get anywhere else. But this bland, empty, lifeless games doesn't have that. This is a game that even the modders won't touch.
Actions have absolutely 0 consequence. The game just loops around in ways regardless of your choices to have the outcome they wanted. One questline i remember specifically you are meeting for a deal. You try to kill and take the money, papa says no and you cant (not even an option to tell him to stick it and do it anyway). you try to negotiate and papa does it for you. this leads really into my next point
you are pointless - most quests could have been solved by the givers with a fucking email. You go here, tell person this, come back. Even when you are doing something, like in the quest alluded to above there is someone better for the job. Just shut up and let papa do it for you.

TLDR: Its hot garbage, move along

This was not Starfield, this was Starscreen.

the most technically proficient game that has absolutely no juice or sauce or x factor etc. i have ever played

Serviceable compared to the (horrible) original Homefront, but really nothing special. A modern US revolution themed game can work (Freedom Fighters) but it doesn't work here.

Slogging it through a fucking mediocre game for a bugy Timesplitters port, hate it