678 Reviews liked by Ens1s
Pokémon Red Version
1996
KFC Fryer the level 3 Rattata who I put on my final team as a joke and sent into a solar beam from Venusaur in the champion battle before realizing I could have just used dig on my currently active Arbok and gotten the same results >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> every party member in whatever your favorite RPG is
This is what I wanted Rance to be from the beginning, and more. Don't know if I prefer this or Kichikuou more yet. Also, I won't be playing Mamatoto, I'm done with media homework.
Rance IX was the Rance game I was most excited for since before I started playing. It most closely resembled another favorite series of mine (that being Utawarerumono) in terms of gameplay and premise. It seemed to have an OST style that's more my jam, having more modernised gameplay and gorgeous art. And, after finishing Kichikuou, I wanted to see more of Helman, and I can say with confidence that as of pre-R10, it definitely is the most interesting country in the Rance universe for me.
Rance has been a very strange series for me, there are games I loved (Kichikuou, Sengoku, 03), and ones I really despised which made me question whether the series was for me (such as 5D or 4.x). When people tell you about stories where "trust me bro, it gets good", they usually don't mean a series where, not counting remakes, the first good games you'll play are either the sixth main entry, or what is now an IF route made by the company when they thought they were going to go bankrupt. In a sense I am sort of a "fake Rance fan" because my favorites have generally been the more modern stories covering larger conflicts with more modern gameplay systems, rather than perhaps the more fundamental character interactions like in IV, VI or Quest that Rance fans usually value. That being said though, it's not like I dislike Rance's characters or slice of life. I think they have a lot of heart. It might be a combination of gameplay elements I'm not a fan of such as first person dungeons and episodic structure. Still, when the series hits for me, it really hits, and I say this as someone who was very skeptical of Rance having more to it, especially knowing how the main character is (which has been covered enough so I won't go into that at this point).
But all that aside, Rance IX is genuinely one of my favorite JRPGs ever. The gameplay may be simple, but I found it satisfying regardless. It's got stakes, exciting and emotional moments alike, good character writing, some of the best JRPG world building (as expected from Rance, I suppose), beautiful visuals and music (despite Shade leaving the series as a composer). I might even do the thing that I almost never do and do another play through just to see some extra content myself, rather than just watching on YouTube, if that.
My Rance journey began cautiously at the beginning, I didn't expect to like some entries in the series this much, even though I'd long since started trying to not judge things by their cover. It's definitely become one of my favorite series now, though. Now, I am ready to tackle the behemoth that is Rance X. I am so excited.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJqKDz_2kwM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSYghgpzlwA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZiU9DgtEH0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-L8VzdCdzk
Rance IX was the Rance game I was most excited for since before I started playing. It most closely resembled another favorite series of mine (that being Utawarerumono) in terms of gameplay and premise. It seemed to have an OST style that's more my jam, having more modernised gameplay and gorgeous art. And, after finishing Kichikuou, I wanted to see more of Helman, and I can say with confidence that as of pre-R10, it definitely is the most interesting country in the Rance universe for me.
Rance has been a very strange series for me, there are games I loved (Kichikuou, Sengoku, 03), and ones I really despised which made me question whether the series was for me (such as 5D or 4.x). When people tell you about stories where "trust me bro, it gets good", they usually don't mean a series where, not counting remakes, the first good games you'll play are either the sixth main entry, or what is now an IF route made by the company when they thought they were going to go bankrupt. In a sense I am sort of a "fake Rance fan" because my favorites have generally been the more modern stories covering larger conflicts with more modern gameplay systems, rather than perhaps the more fundamental character interactions like in IV, VI or Quest that Rance fans usually value. That being said though, it's not like I dislike Rance's characters or slice of life. I think they have a lot of heart. It might be a combination of gameplay elements I'm not a fan of such as first person dungeons and episodic structure. Still, when the series hits for me, it really hits, and I say this as someone who was very skeptical of Rance having more to it, especially knowing how the main character is (which has been covered enough so I won't go into that at this point).
But all that aside, Rance IX is genuinely one of my favorite JRPGs ever. The gameplay may be simple, but I found it satisfying regardless. It's got stakes, exciting and emotional moments alike, good character writing, some of the best JRPG world building (as expected from Rance, I suppose), beautiful visuals and music (despite Shade leaving the series as a composer). I might even do the thing that I almost never do and do another play through just to see some extra content myself, rather than just watching on YouTube, if that.
My Rance journey began cautiously at the beginning, I didn't expect to like some entries in the series this much, even though I'd long since started trying to not judge things by their cover. It's definitely become one of my favorite series now, though. Now, I am ready to tackle the behemoth that is Rance X. I am so excited.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJqKDz_2kwM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSYghgpzlwA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZiU9DgtEH0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-L8VzdCdzk
Paradise Killer
2020
[Estimated read time: 3 million days]
Paradise Killer perfectly captures the vibe of occupying an abandoned digital world. The constant shuffle of the in-world radio, walls lined with sloppily designed ads for in-game products, the rapid cycle of day and night rolling light through tightly spaced social hubs, now left empty but no less ready to host a party than they ever were. Island 24 is not unlike an emptied Second Life instance, where the digital buildings and streets are preserved and timeless and the only decay is interest.
I like to hop into my old Second Life account sometimes and just throw myself into random worlds with the specific intent of drinking in that atmosphere. There's something about that experience that is faintly evocative of liminal spaces, though not quite. It's liminally-adjascent, as the function of these spaces is well understood, yet not without a fog of melancholy hanging over those worlds like the ghost of a dead friend group. Occasionally, you'll find a world that is still somewhat active, kept alive by a tight nit community that remains ever dedicated to communicating in an increasingly inconvenient way. I observe them like one would animals in a zoo, from the bushes of a bimbofication server, just... learning, listening.
The reasons for Island 24's abandonment are of course far more sinister. It's the end result of a ritualistic culling of Paradise's lower class, conducted at the behest of a syndicate of certifiable freaks to appease their alien gods. This usually doesn't happen in games like Second Life or VR Chat, though I am convinced that (like Paradise) their economies are sustained by kidnapping victims who are forced to make bullshit meshes all day.
A Second Life murder mystery is so targeted towards my specific interests that my flawless 5/5 score might be owed in part to predisposition. I think it does a great job of packing the feeling of exploring those desolate spaces into a focused and full experience. It also has an incredibly esoteric reference to Resident Evil 5's egg duplication economy, something I only ever see mentioned in conversations between myself and Larry Davis, so that might just be a clue pointing to a larger conspiracy, of which I'm the target. At least that's the truth I've divined.
And truth is exactly what the disgraced and exiled former head of the Paradise Psycho Unit, Lady Love Dies (born in The Longest Tower, Britain in AD 1000 under the sign of Kiss Me To The Moon) is here to provide. Called back into action after the murder of Paradise's ruling council, Lady and the player need to build a compelling case and arrest a culprit so the few remaining inhabitants of the island's exalted upper crust can migrate to Perfect 25. Said upper crust is almost unanimously convinced the murder was committed by Henry Division, a citizen hosting a demonic presence who was found at the scene of the crime with the council's blood in his belly, but early evidence suggests a greater conspiracy. And why not? The Syndicate's interpersonal drama has long since played a role in the rise and fall of previous island simulations, and Henry might just be yet another consequence of their scheming.
Paradise Killer repeatedly makes clear that truth is a construct informed by facts but not beholden to them, and that what objectively happened is unknowable. You'll run around the island picking up evidence, reviewing crime scenes, pulling phone records and interviewing suspects, but how you assemble the facts and what truth you ultimately craft is the real meat of the game. Go for a completionist run like I did, and you'll find that there's enough dirt to pin everyone to the wall, with the strength of your case hinging entirely on how you present it in court. You can also implicate multiple suspects in a variety of crimes, so if you really want to you could execute everyone by presenting the ultimate, unassailable case that these dudes all suck.
Well, except for Crimson Acid and Dr. Doom Jazz. I just slept with them instead.
This also means you can wrap the game up at any time, even right after starting it by accept Henry as the scapegoat, something the remaining syndicate members are all too happy to go along with as it's the truth least disruptive to their power structure. You can spend exactly as much time exploring Island 24 as you want, which for me meant playing until I stopped seeing unique dialog.
Just as Perfect 25 is not the perfect island simulation it's purported to be, Paradise Killer is not a perfect video game, even if my 5/5 might lead you to think so. Some people just aren't going to have the patience to run around apartment blocks looking at discarded pull tabs for a crumb of lore, or waste hours drinking in the sad mundanity of the enslaved working class. Like I said, I feel uniquely predisposed to liking this one, so even the elements that were more akin to a collecathon or walking sim still got something out of me. I got every Starlight skin, I solved the mystery of the holy seals, and I put together a case that for a game with no "true ending" by design still felt as conclusive as it could get. I poured over my case file multiple times, I gave it serious and deep thought. I am the Investigation Freak, and that is why this is a perfect 5. For me, specifically.
BUT IS IT A SUMMAH GAME?
IT IS TIME TO START THE TRIALS AND CROSS INTO THE ABYSS OF SUMMAH!
Considering how often characters talk about how oppressively hot Island 24 is, right down to the heat of the pavement, I'm not sure a trial is even necessary. It is a tropical paradise flanked on all sides by an endless expanse of ocean and blanketed in palm trees. The haughty statues, gold trimmed marble buildings and obsidian obelisks adorn 24 with a 90s posh that really ties it all together. It's the most overtly Summah-coded game I've played since Mario Sunshine, but to not investigate would be a dereliction of duty, negligence of the most grotesque order, and just plain lazy.
I put Paradise Killer up against the Summah Index and the results were astounding. At 141 points, it is the highest rated Summah Game yet, but because the scale cannot exceed 100, I do have to round it down to a more solid figure. Nevertheless, it is a perfect score. Paradise Killer has a lot to say about the follies of reaching for perfection, but I fucking scalded my whole entire sole off walking barefoot outside the citizen housing block, and that was before the reality folding drive sent off a radiation blast that cooked me alive.
Now I'm a ghost on a beach in a failed simulation, rattling my chains and moaning "Ooooh, I can't move on... until you have a Summah!"
<< PREVIOUS REVIEW || NEXT REVIEW >>
Paradise Killer perfectly captures the vibe of occupying an abandoned digital world. The constant shuffle of the in-world radio, walls lined with sloppily designed ads for in-game products, the rapid cycle of day and night rolling light through tightly spaced social hubs, now left empty but no less ready to host a party than they ever were. Island 24 is not unlike an emptied Second Life instance, where the digital buildings and streets are preserved and timeless and the only decay is interest.
I like to hop into my old Second Life account sometimes and just throw myself into random worlds with the specific intent of drinking in that atmosphere. There's something about that experience that is faintly evocative of liminal spaces, though not quite. It's liminally-adjascent, as the function of these spaces is well understood, yet not without a fog of melancholy hanging over those worlds like the ghost of a dead friend group. Occasionally, you'll find a world that is still somewhat active, kept alive by a tight nit community that remains ever dedicated to communicating in an increasingly inconvenient way. I observe them like one would animals in a zoo, from the bushes of a bimbofication server, just... learning, listening.
The reasons for Island 24's abandonment are of course far more sinister. It's the end result of a ritualistic culling of Paradise's lower class, conducted at the behest of a syndicate of certifiable freaks to appease their alien gods. This usually doesn't happen in games like Second Life or VR Chat, though I am convinced that (like Paradise) their economies are sustained by kidnapping victims who are forced to make bullshit meshes all day.
A Second Life murder mystery is so targeted towards my specific interests that my flawless 5/5 score might be owed in part to predisposition. I think it does a great job of packing the feeling of exploring those desolate spaces into a focused and full experience. It also has an incredibly esoteric reference to Resident Evil 5's egg duplication economy, something I only ever see mentioned in conversations between myself and Larry Davis, so that might just be a clue pointing to a larger conspiracy, of which I'm the target. At least that's the truth I've divined.
And truth is exactly what the disgraced and exiled former head of the Paradise Psycho Unit, Lady Love Dies (born in The Longest Tower, Britain in AD 1000 under the sign of Kiss Me To The Moon) is here to provide. Called back into action after the murder of Paradise's ruling council, Lady and the player need to build a compelling case and arrest a culprit so the few remaining inhabitants of the island's exalted upper crust can migrate to Perfect 25. Said upper crust is almost unanimously convinced the murder was committed by Henry Division, a citizen hosting a demonic presence who was found at the scene of the crime with the council's blood in his belly, but early evidence suggests a greater conspiracy. And why not? The Syndicate's interpersonal drama has long since played a role in the rise and fall of previous island simulations, and Henry might just be yet another consequence of their scheming.
Paradise Killer repeatedly makes clear that truth is a construct informed by facts but not beholden to them, and that what objectively happened is unknowable. You'll run around the island picking up evidence, reviewing crime scenes, pulling phone records and interviewing suspects, but how you assemble the facts and what truth you ultimately craft is the real meat of the game. Go for a completionist run like I did, and you'll find that there's enough dirt to pin everyone to the wall, with the strength of your case hinging entirely on how you present it in court. You can also implicate multiple suspects in a variety of crimes, so if you really want to you could execute everyone by presenting the ultimate, unassailable case that these dudes all suck.
Well, except for Crimson Acid and Dr. Doom Jazz. I just slept with them instead.
This also means you can wrap the game up at any time, even right after starting it by accept Henry as the scapegoat, something the remaining syndicate members are all too happy to go along with as it's the truth least disruptive to their power structure. You can spend exactly as much time exploring Island 24 as you want, which for me meant playing until I stopped seeing unique dialog.
Just as Perfect 25 is not the perfect island simulation it's purported to be, Paradise Killer is not a perfect video game, even if my 5/5 might lead you to think so. Some people just aren't going to have the patience to run around apartment blocks looking at discarded pull tabs for a crumb of lore, or waste hours drinking in the sad mundanity of the enslaved working class. Like I said, I feel uniquely predisposed to liking this one, so even the elements that were more akin to a collecathon or walking sim still got something out of me. I got every Starlight skin, I solved the mystery of the holy seals, and I put together a case that for a game with no "true ending" by design still felt as conclusive as it could get. I poured over my case file multiple times, I gave it serious and deep thought. I am the Investigation Freak, and that is why this is a perfect 5. For me, specifically.
BUT IS IT A SUMMAH GAME?
IT IS TIME TO START THE TRIALS AND CROSS INTO THE ABYSS OF SUMMAH!
Considering how often characters talk about how oppressively hot Island 24 is, right down to the heat of the pavement, I'm not sure a trial is even necessary. It is a tropical paradise flanked on all sides by an endless expanse of ocean and blanketed in palm trees. The haughty statues, gold trimmed marble buildings and obsidian obelisks adorn 24 with a 90s posh that really ties it all together. It's the most overtly Summah-coded game I've played since Mario Sunshine, but to not investigate would be a dereliction of duty, negligence of the most grotesque order, and just plain lazy.
I put Paradise Killer up against the Summah Index and the results were astounding. At 141 points, it is the highest rated Summah Game yet, but because the scale cannot exceed 100, I do have to round it down to a more solid figure. Nevertheless, it is a perfect score. Paradise Killer has a lot to say about the follies of reaching for perfection, but I fucking scalded my whole entire sole off walking barefoot outside the citizen housing block, and that was before the reality folding drive sent off a radiation blast that cooked me alive.
Now I'm a ghost on a beach in a failed simulation, rattling my chains and moaning "Ooooh, I can't move on... until you have a Summah!"
<< PREVIOUS REVIEW || NEXT REVIEW >>
Cute, very cute. Almost too cute, the writing was damn near too much to handle (someone else's review said "saccharine" and i can't think of any better ways to put it), but, like. I write like this. To people. So I feel like I can't say much.
Proud of all of these women, I cried.
Proud of all of these women, I cried.
Castlevania: Rondo of Blood is the Classicvania formula at its peak.
Whereas Super Castlevania IV focused on creating a dark, dingy atmosphere by playing into the classic horror and pulp stories the series was inspired by, Rondo of Blood goes in the exact opposite direction. Everything about this game is stylish, in-your-face, and downright excessive. The colors are brighter, the music is louder, the violence is gorier, and a new anime-like art style has been applied to the characters. I love it. I love all of it. This game absolutely relishes in how cheesy the Castlevania franchise is at its core, creating a somewhat goofy and action-packed tone that fits the platforming-focused gameplay like a glove.
Speaking of the gameplay, the Belmonts have never felt better. While he lacks Simon’s multidirectional whip, Richter Belmont more than makes up for it by just how buttery smooth his controls are. It’s hard to explain, but jumping and whipping just feels so perfect in this game, and the amount of control you have over Richter’s movement is astounding.
The level design has never been better. I can’t even pick a favorite, because they’re all absolute bangers… but fuck it, Stage 5 is my favorite. It’s a haunted ship, sorta like the one from Dracula’s Curse, but there’s so many cool enemies to fight and challenges to overcome. It’s awesome.
The story isn’t anything special, but it’s noteworthy for being the first Castlevania game to have one that fully takes place in-game instead of the manual. You have these goofy ahh cutscenes that are as ridiculous as they are charming, thanks in no small part to the fantastic character design and shōnen-style presentation. Also, this is our first peek into Dracula’s true motives, which Symphony of the Night would base its entire plot off of (it is a direct sequel, after all).
The visuals? Gorgeous. Best of the Classicvanias by a wide margin. Ditto for the music, which takes full advantage of the PC Engine’s CD capabilities to create an appropriately badass and exciting soundtrack. Go and take a listen. You won’t regret it.
So yeah, Rondo of Blood is absolutely fantastic, and it’s one of the best 2D platformers I’ve ever played. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t played it yet.
Whereas Super Castlevania IV focused on creating a dark, dingy atmosphere by playing into the classic horror and pulp stories the series was inspired by, Rondo of Blood goes in the exact opposite direction. Everything about this game is stylish, in-your-face, and downright excessive. The colors are brighter, the music is louder, the violence is gorier, and a new anime-like art style has been applied to the characters. I love it. I love all of it. This game absolutely relishes in how cheesy the Castlevania franchise is at its core, creating a somewhat goofy and action-packed tone that fits the platforming-focused gameplay like a glove.
Speaking of the gameplay, the Belmonts have never felt better. While he lacks Simon’s multidirectional whip, Richter Belmont more than makes up for it by just how buttery smooth his controls are. It’s hard to explain, but jumping and whipping just feels so perfect in this game, and the amount of control you have over Richter’s movement is astounding.
The level design has never been better. I can’t even pick a favorite, because they’re all absolute bangers… but fuck it, Stage 5 is my favorite. It’s a haunted ship, sorta like the one from Dracula’s Curse, but there’s so many cool enemies to fight and challenges to overcome. It’s awesome.
The story isn’t anything special, but it’s noteworthy for being the first Castlevania game to have one that fully takes place in-game instead of the manual. You have these goofy ahh cutscenes that are as ridiculous as they are charming, thanks in no small part to the fantastic character design and shōnen-style presentation. Also, this is our first peek into Dracula’s true motives, which Symphony of the Night would base its entire plot off of (it is a direct sequel, after all).
The visuals? Gorgeous. Best of the Classicvanias by a wide margin. Ditto for the music, which takes full advantage of the PC Engine’s CD capabilities to create an appropriately badass and exciting soundtrack. Go and take a listen. You won’t regret it.
So yeah, Rondo of Blood is absolutely fantastic, and it’s one of the best 2D platformers I’ve ever played. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t played it yet.
An all-you-can-eat buffet of radiant quests and one dimensional content. The main quest is lame, most of the guild questlines are stiff and poorly paced, and the aggressive streamlining definitely put me off a bit. I didn't finish any of the DLCs, but from what little I played of Dawnguard nothing gripping stood out. It was still constrained to the linear skeleton of the base game's design.
However, I liked the Dark Brotherhood questline and Cicero is a funny guy. Three stars.
However, I liked the Dark Brotherhood questline and Cicero is a funny guy. Three stars.
Splatoon
2015
I honestly don't have much to say about this game besides the fact that it was really addicting. Although I never really got that high up in terms of level (I think I was like Level 26), Turf War was my jam. I liked the abilities and the game conceptually, and the gameplay was so stupidly fun that I have been a fan since the very start of the series with this game. Although this game pales in comparison to Splatoon 2 and Splatoon 3, the map variety and the hilariously broken abilities like the Kraken made me enjoy it a lot. I like the different types of main weapons, sub weapons, and special abilities, and its fun to choose a specific weapon type to main. I despise ranked modes in most games so I stay away from that, but from the few times I've played them, they're fun, especially Rainmaker. Storymode was alright, I don't really remember much from it except the DJ Octavio theme (that carried so hard let's be real). The ads for this game were fire as a kid at the time 'YOU'RE A KID, YOU'RE A SQUID!' Overall, a great game that propelled itself to one of my favourite Nintendo series.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, this game has so many memorable things like the victory theme, 'STAY FRESHHHH!', and WOOMY, kind of iconic for me. Also enjoyed the customisability with gear and accessories, but getting specific abilities on your gear was PAIN.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, this game has so many memorable things like the victory theme, 'STAY FRESHHHH!', and WOOMY, kind of iconic for me. Also enjoyed the customisability with gear and accessories, but getting specific abilities on your gear was PAIN.
Balan Wonderworld
2021
BORN TO DIE
WONDERWORLD IS A FUCK
中裕司 Insider Trade 'Em All 2023
I am balan man
171,000,000¥ IN FINES
I can't remember the last time I fell asleep while playing a game. I'm not even trying to be funny, it happened. One second I was climbing the webs on World 3, the next second I woke up to a "The UE4-Happiness game has crashed - Fatal Error!" message on my screen, probably thanks to my face resting on top of the keyboard and screwing something up from so many inputs. (Gotta say, "Happiness Game" is a REALLY funny code name)
So, I decided to check this out as a little intermission in my Sonic marathon before moving on to Sonic Frontiers. I played NiGHTS for the marathon as well, so, y'know, I figured that Balan would have some of its DNA considering the pedigree behind it.
This game has so many things going for it. I ADORE the art direction, and the CG quality is absurd. Legit, it has one of the prettiest intro cutscenes I've ever seen, that hair tech is INSANE. The soundtrack is very bouncy and fun, exactly what I expect out of a collectathon platformer, shoutouts to Corn for Days, and the story is very interesting in concept. An adventure where you go through the mind palaces of people who are disillusioned or down on their luck and beat the shit out of their inner demons to help them get through it? It's a cool idea, and it's represented very well through its visuals. The scenery bends and twists in unexpected ways, objects and platforms float and move about, it's all very dreamlike.
But god damn, this was a BORE to play through. Yes, the art direction is very strong and the setup was intriguing, but that's where it ends bro. There is NOTHING here, 5 worlds in and I had to pass. Any other platformer can do what this game does, and much better at that.
For starters: One button for every action in the game. One fucking button. Why is this a thing? Why would you come up with a system that limits your ability to jump depending on the costume you're using, in a 3D PLATFORMING game? And it's not like it makes for any interesting decisions, there are no scenarios where the limitation is justified. You can just swap to a different costume that is able to jump whenever the situation calls for it, so why bother? Why not make it a 2-button game if you're going for simplicity? One button for jumping, a mechanic that should be universal for a game like this, and another button for costume-specific actions. That's it, job done.
But even then, why the fuck would you go for such a limited control scheme? Some of the coolest things about collectathon platformers(at least from an outside perspective, given that I haven't played many of them) are the ways you go about collecting things, the movement options you have to get to your objectives, the kind of obstacle courses the game throws at you and the freedom you have to ignore said obstacles with the aforementioned movement options. There's a reason why Super Mario 64 is still played extensively to this day especially in speedruns: That game feels amazing to control, and it gives you a ton of different ways of interacting with your environment. Mario has like, 5 different kinds of jumps depending on when and how you jump.
Balan has some differences in the way you jump, but they're not universal. Each mechanic is locked to a specific costume, and you can only carry 3 of them with you. Get hit once and you lose your costume, btw.
Going back to Mario, imagine if you could only long jump when using a specific cap. And even then, once you pick that cap up, you can ONLY long jump, nothing else.
I was going to give the game some credit for the levels, seeing as how you can jump on nearly everything and explore that way. Very few invisible walls, which made me think there would be a TON of secrets hidden around the place. There aren't.
There's this part where you're jumping towards a clock tower, and you can just barely see that the side of the tower has a spot you can stand on. Once you're there, the game teases you again by showing that you can keep going around the tower.
In ANY OTHER platformer, hell, in Sonic Unleashed, the back of that tower would have SOMETHING. ANYTHING. A 1-up, a coin, a nut. Balan gave me nothing.
And that about sums it up tbh. Great production values and a promising premise, but it gave me nothing to play.
To quote my dear friend Drew: "Where's the game, bro?"
WONDERWORLD IS A FUCK
中裕司 Insider Trade 'Em All 2023
I am balan man
171,000,000¥ IN FINES
I can't remember the last time I fell asleep while playing a game. I'm not even trying to be funny, it happened. One second I was climbing the webs on World 3, the next second I woke up to a "The UE4-Happiness game has crashed - Fatal Error!" message on my screen, probably thanks to my face resting on top of the keyboard and screwing something up from so many inputs. (Gotta say, "Happiness Game" is a REALLY funny code name)
So, I decided to check this out as a little intermission in my Sonic marathon before moving on to Sonic Frontiers. I played NiGHTS for the marathon as well, so, y'know, I figured that Balan would have some of its DNA considering the pedigree behind it.
This game has so many things going for it. I ADORE the art direction, and the CG quality is absurd. Legit, it has one of the prettiest intro cutscenes I've ever seen, that hair tech is INSANE. The soundtrack is very bouncy and fun, exactly what I expect out of a collectathon platformer, shoutouts to Corn for Days, and the story is very interesting in concept. An adventure where you go through the mind palaces of people who are disillusioned or down on their luck and beat the shit out of their inner demons to help them get through it? It's a cool idea, and it's represented very well through its visuals. The scenery bends and twists in unexpected ways, objects and platforms float and move about, it's all very dreamlike.
But god damn, this was a BORE to play through. Yes, the art direction is very strong and the setup was intriguing, but that's where it ends bro. There is NOTHING here, 5 worlds in and I had to pass. Any other platformer can do what this game does, and much better at that.
For starters: One button for every action in the game. One fucking button. Why is this a thing? Why would you come up with a system that limits your ability to jump depending on the costume you're using, in a 3D PLATFORMING game? And it's not like it makes for any interesting decisions, there are no scenarios where the limitation is justified. You can just swap to a different costume that is able to jump whenever the situation calls for it, so why bother? Why not make it a 2-button game if you're going for simplicity? One button for jumping, a mechanic that should be universal for a game like this, and another button for costume-specific actions. That's it, job done.
But even then, why the fuck would you go for such a limited control scheme? Some of the coolest things about collectathon platformers(at least from an outside perspective, given that I haven't played many of them) are the ways you go about collecting things, the movement options you have to get to your objectives, the kind of obstacle courses the game throws at you and the freedom you have to ignore said obstacles with the aforementioned movement options. There's a reason why Super Mario 64 is still played extensively to this day especially in speedruns: That game feels amazing to control, and it gives you a ton of different ways of interacting with your environment. Mario has like, 5 different kinds of jumps depending on when and how you jump.
Balan has some differences in the way you jump, but they're not universal. Each mechanic is locked to a specific costume, and you can only carry 3 of them with you. Get hit once and you lose your costume, btw.
Going back to Mario, imagine if you could only long jump when using a specific cap. And even then, once you pick that cap up, you can ONLY long jump, nothing else.
I was going to give the game some credit for the levels, seeing as how you can jump on nearly everything and explore that way. Very few invisible walls, which made me think there would be a TON of secrets hidden around the place. There aren't.
There's this part where you're jumping towards a clock tower, and you can just barely see that the side of the tower has a spot you can stand on. Once you're there, the game teases you again by showing that you can keep going around the tower.
In ANY OTHER platformer, hell, in Sonic Unleashed, the back of that tower would have SOMETHING. ANYTHING. A 1-up, a coin, a nut. Balan gave me nothing.
And that about sums it up tbh. Great production values and a promising premise, but it gave me nothing to play.
To quote my dear friend Drew: "Where's the game, bro?"
Nine Sols
2024
This review contains spoilers
I genuinely think this is one of the greatest Metroidvanias ever made. This game is simply inspired, and it touches on some concepts that I love to see in my video games. I'd compare certain feelings to games like Nier Automata, or Everhood, in the way that it really makes you delve into the concepts of life and living, and the importance of what it means to live, and to die. Naturally the gameplay is nothing like those titles, though the fluid puzzle based combat with a parry that feels fast and concise compares only to that of Sekiro especially when you add certain Jades that effect not only your but your enemies health bar.
The fact that I've seen two friends play this game entirely different than one another or myself also speaks volumes on the variety in which you can play it, which is crazy considering you have a limited number of ways to attack but many different approaches in making these attacks your own.
I think a lot of people who complain about this game aren't doing so about the story, nor the combat, but the platforming. Not that it's bad, but because it isn't hard. In metroidvanias like Hollow Knight you have a sprawling map with very few opportunities to run in a straight line, and most of the enemy placement is put there solely as environmental hazards to either aid you in traveling to different branching areas with the cool abilities you unlock or just make navigation more challenging. You do not get that in this game, the enemies are there to fight and they have their own unique gimmicks that make fighting them their own little puzzles. Often time you need to solve multiple puzzles at once with multiple enemies involved, but they also give you tools to deal with these when you're feeling overwhelmed. I.e, the Bow or charge attack.
All and all, I wish the platforming was more of a challenge. I found a lot of times they'd provide a rope in the middle of a platform segment to make certain jumps easier, or maybe allow you to take a breather on, but I think it's okay for them to make you feel pressured and keep up a fluid pace when navigating the map, especially when a death isn't really all that punishing since you're likely to have a respawn spawn close by. I don't think this docks the game any points in my book however, because the bosses and their puzzles surely make up for it.
Speaking of, the bosses. Oh my god, these bosses. The final boss with the true ending took me around 4 of my 27 hours to defeat, and I like to think of myself as pretty good at video games. If I had to pick a hardest Soulslike boss, it's her. Eigong is such a difficult fight it bordered on maddening, but not because it was unfair, but because I knew what I was doing wrong every time. I never once felt gimmicked, or like I was trapped. I didn't feel like her damage was too high, or her attacks were too fast. I just had a lot to learn, and boy do I mean a lot. I won't get too into it, but this fight was incredible. My second favorite being Lady Ethereal, because that arena, that music, and the way my jaw dropped when it just... kept... going! RAHHH!
This game is amazing, and I hope everyone who says they enjoy Metroidvanias give it a sincere try. I am so excited to see what RedCandleGames does next, because after this, they have my undivided attention.
The fact that I've seen two friends play this game entirely different than one another or myself also speaks volumes on the variety in which you can play it, which is crazy considering you have a limited number of ways to attack but many different approaches in making these attacks your own.
I think a lot of people who complain about this game aren't doing so about the story, nor the combat, but the platforming. Not that it's bad, but because it isn't hard. In metroidvanias like Hollow Knight you have a sprawling map with very few opportunities to run in a straight line, and most of the enemy placement is put there solely as environmental hazards to either aid you in traveling to different branching areas with the cool abilities you unlock or just make navigation more challenging. You do not get that in this game, the enemies are there to fight and they have their own unique gimmicks that make fighting them their own little puzzles. Often time you need to solve multiple puzzles at once with multiple enemies involved, but they also give you tools to deal with these when you're feeling overwhelmed. I.e, the Bow or charge attack.
All and all, I wish the platforming was more of a challenge. I found a lot of times they'd provide a rope in the middle of a platform segment to make certain jumps easier, or maybe allow you to take a breather on, but I think it's okay for them to make you feel pressured and keep up a fluid pace when navigating the map, especially when a death isn't really all that punishing since you're likely to have a respawn spawn close by. I don't think this docks the game any points in my book however, because the bosses and their puzzles surely make up for it.
Speaking of, the bosses. Oh my god, these bosses. The final boss with the true ending took me around 4 of my 27 hours to defeat, and I like to think of myself as pretty good at video games. If I had to pick a hardest Soulslike boss, it's her. Eigong is such a difficult fight it bordered on maddening, but not because it was unfair, but because I knew what I was doing wrong every time. I never once felt gimmicked, or like I was trapped. I didn't feel like her damage was too high, or her attacks were too fast. I just had a lot to learn, and boy do I mean a lot. I won't get too into it, but this fight was incredible. My second favorite being Lady Ethereal, because that arena, that music, and the way my jaw dropped when it just... kept... going! RAHHH!
This game is amazing, and I hope everyone who says they enjoy Metroidvanias give it a sincere try. I am so excited to see what RedCandleGames does next, because after this, they have my undivided attention.
incredibly solid, fun, and charming but i can't help but feel like the monsters series of spinoffs are missing an undefinable "something" that the mainline series has and it makes it really hard for me to click with them. there's a lot thats good in these games to the point that i'll have fun with them for a dozen hours or so but not so much that i'm ever compelled to even get close to the finish line
This was a really nice surprise of 2024. I had a huge smile on my face playing this great little game and was sad to see it end in a couple of hours. Tiny Terry's Turbo Trip is best described as the modern day Simpsons Hit and Run, with a hint of Banjo-Kazooie.
You're given a nice open world to roam around and do missions + explore and find many secrets. The name of the game is go find collectables known as Turbo Junk and get enough to upgrade your car and drive to the moon. You can find these parts by either doing missions, or just exploring the world and finding them out in the open. Platforming and Car mechanics both work well, you can even upgrade your car in increments as you find more Turbo Junk to drive around faster.
My favorite part about this game is the dialouge, the writing is just so funny that I don't think a game has ever made me laugh hard consistently throughout it's runtime. It had me wanting to talk to every NPC possible just to see the dialogue. It also has a heartwarming message towards the end and wrapped up very nicely.
The artstyle stood out to me instantly. I don't think I've seen cartoony animation done like this before, but it is something devs should strive for as I was just constantly at awe with the visuals. This is such a pretty game to look at, and I just wanted to explore every corner of the world just so I don't miss some great views.
I'm not a big adventure game person, unless it's action-adventure like Zelda, however this adventure game is definitely one of the best that I have played and I will be looking forward to more games by this dev team, as they clearly do have some talent. This also makes me wanna go play Wuppo, which is the other game by the same dev that I've had in my backlog for a while.
You're given a nice open world to roam around and do missions + explore and find many secrets. The name of the game is go find collectables known as Turbo Junk and get enough to upgrade your car and drive to the moon. You can find these parts by either doing missions, or just exploring the world and finding them out in the open. Platforming and Car mechanics both work well, you can even upgrade your car in increments as you find more Turbo Junk to drive around faster.
My favorite part about this game is the dialouge, the writing is just so funny that I don't think a game has ever made me laugh hard consistently throughout it's runtime. It had me wanting to talk to every NPC possible just to see the dialogue. It also has a heartwarming message towards the end and wrapped up very nicely.
The artstyle stood out to me instantly. I don't think I've seen cartoony animation done like this before, but it is something devs should strive for as I was just constantly at awe with the visuals. This is such a pretty game to look at, and I just wanted to explore every corner of the world just so I don't miss some great views.
I'm not a big adventure game person, unless it's action-adventure like Zelda, however this adventure game is definitely one of the best that I have played and I will be looking forward to more games by this dev team, as they clearly do have some talent. This also makes me wanna go play Wuppo, which is the other game by the same dev that I've had in my backlog for a while.
Paper Mario
2000
With the release of the remake of Thousand Year Door, I figured it'd be prudent to go back to the original and see the origins of Paper Mario for myself. With my first entry into the series being Super Paper Mario, I was, of course, expecting a more primitive experience with this, which it is, but in that very charming early 2000s Nintendo way where the polygonal style of the graphics really adds to the whole aesthetic in a cute and appealing way.
Story-wise, Paper Mario is as simple as they come, at least by Mario standards. Bowser has kidnapped Peach once again, and you must unite the macguffins and gather allies in order to save her. Even at the time, surely that premise was getting long in the tooth, but nevertheless, it's Paper Mario's storybook aesthetic and charming cast of characters that really make it something special.
There are 8 different characters that come along for the ride across the 8 different lands you travel to, each with their own combat abilities as well as overworld abilities that assist you in puzzle-solving and traversal. They're all great fun to use, with neat little backstories to them once you meet up, and they really help to keep things continually fresh throughout, with the pacing moving at a good clip.
The turn-based battle system is one of the Paper Mario games' big draws and here, even at its most simplistic, it's still great fun thanks to the 'action commands', which help in keeping your attention by encouraging timing-based button presses to either strengthen your attacks or your defence. Getting the right timing down can be easier said than done, however, and its probably my biggest qualm with the game. To be clear, it's right on cue when you need it to be more often than it isn't, but there are quite a few enemies with continuous attacks that require a series of precise presses, and those can be tricky to hit.
Whether this is down to the Nintendo Switch Online N64 emulation or the game itself is up for debate, as apparently the emulator introduces input latency and frame drops that weren't present in the original. Again, it's doable and not a huge hindrance, but it can be irritating.
Naturally, with 8 worlds to visit and roughly 2-3 hours of content in each, there are bound to be missteps and yes, not all the worlds are as entertaining; the flower world is one such example that is a bit of a slog since you have to backtrack a lot and solve puzzles that aren't always clear (such as the hedge maze). But still, quality does beat out quantity here, thankfully, even if some parts could do with shaving around the edges.
Overall, Paper Mario is endlessly charming, with lovely art direction and fun RPG-lite gameplay. There's definitely room for improvement in the battle system, level design and the writing (which was a little too simple and cutesy, but I don't particularly hold that against it, especially for Mario), but for a first outing, it's just pure Mario goodness.
8/10
Story-wise, Paper Mario is as simple as they come, at least by Mario standards. Bowser has kidnapped Peach once again, and you must unite the macguffins and gather allies in order to save her. Even at the time, surely that premise was getting long in the tooth, but nevertheless, it's Paper Mario's storybook aesthetic and charming cast of characters that really make it something special.
There are 8 different characters that come along for the ride across the 8 different lands you travel to, each with their own combat abilities as well as overworld abilities that assist you in puzzle-solving and traversal. They're all great fun to use, with neat little backstories to them once you meet up, and they really help to keep things continually fresh throughout, with the pacing moving at a good clip.
The turn-based battle system is one of the Paper Mario games' big draws and here, even at its most simplistic, it's still great fun thanks to the 'action commands', which help in keeping your attention by encouraging timing-based button presses to either strengthen your attacks or your defence. Getting the right timing down can be easier said than done, however, and its probably my biggest qualm with the game. To be clear, it's right on cue when you need it to be more often than it isn't, but there are quite a few enemies with continuous attacks that require a series of precise presses, and those can be tricky to hit.
Whether this is down to the Nintendo Switch Online N64 emulation or the game itself is up for debate, as apparently the emulator introduces input latency and frame drops that weren't present in the original. Again, it's doable and not a huge hindrance, but it can be irritating.
Naturally, with 8 worlds to visit and roughly 2-3 hours of content in each, there are bound to be missteps and yes, not all the worlds are as entertaining; the flower world is one such example that is a bit of a slog since you have to backtrack a lot and solve puzzles that aren't always clear (such as the hedge maze). But still, quality does beat out quantity here, thankfully, even if some parts could do with shaving around the edges.
Overall, Paper Mario is endlessly charming, with lovely art direction and fun RPG-lite gameplay. There's definitely room for improvement in the battle system, level design and the writing (which was a little too simple and cutesy, but I don't particularly hold that against it, especially for Mario), but for a first outing, it's just pure Mario goodness.
8/10
Persona 4 Golden
2020
"I Can't get my Mind out out of those Memories...."
Ikaruga
2001
What makes them go? It is nothing else than the principle of the man who has the reason for being.
Playing Ikaruga is like witnessing the beauty of the universe: arresting beyond mortal comprehension, yet something we seek to touch regardless. Every second of play is a second of graceful enemy formations unleashing equally bewitching bullet patterns. Switching polarities is genius with how it tempts players to power the homing laser against their instinct to flee from danger. The outrageous difficulty does unfortunately mean I can only admire the artistry at a distance. The dexterity it demands goes well beyond my paltry capabilities as a human being. I cannot see myself trying to conquer it without infinite lives, let alone achieving a decent high score. I tremble before its trials, yet they mesmerize me all the same.
Playing Ikaruga is like witnessing the beauty of the universe: arresting beyond mortal comprehension, yet something we seek to touch regardless. Every second of play is a second of graceful enemy formations unleashing equally bewitching bullet patterns. Switching polarities is genius with how it tempts players to power the homing laser against their instinct to flee from danger. The outrageous difficulty does unfortunately mean I can only admire the artistry at a distance. The dexterity it demands goes well beyond my paltry capabilities as a human being. I cannot see myself trying to conquer it without infinite lives, let alone achieving a decent high score. I tremble before its trials, yet they mesmerize me all the same.
my opinion on what my favourite igavania is keeps changing with each of these replays but i think i'll just leave this one as my personal favourite for the time being because i feel like being a contrarian and telling people that they're wrong actually. metroidvania indie devs fear juste belmont's raw power this dude gets infinitely spammable forward and backdashes from the very beginning and harmony combat is immensely deep once you start delving into glitches and attack cancelling. yeah it's not intended but landing damage stacks in this game is probably one of the most satisfying things in a video game ever for me. idk juste has this really weird mix of floatiness and speed that i really vibe with and it makes for one of the most unique controlling characters in a metroidvania and it makes me sad that nobody's tried to emulate his playstyle.
the music is awesome honestly and the compositions still manage to shine through for me; it's all very distinctly baroque and they went insane with the drum patterns. the only music track i dont like is like. the intro text crawl lol. idk i guess compressed chiptune baroque isn't for everyone but it's a huge part of harmony of dissonance's identity for me and trying to change it does it a disservice. i also say this in EVERY review on a gba game i make but i PROMISE and i SWEAR having a good lcd and colour correction filter or just playing on an actual gba makes a world of difference with the visuals in this game - please stop blowing it up on a big monitor and then judging the game's visuals based on how it looks there im begging because it's simply just not how it was intended to be viewed by the devs.
the music is awesome honestly and the compositions still manage to shine through for me; it's all very distinctly baroque and they went insane with the drum patterns. the only music track i dont like is like. the intro text crawl lol. idk i guess compressed chiptune baroque isn't for everyone but it's a huge part of harmony of dissonance's identity for me and trying to change it does it a disservice. i also say this in EVERY review on a gba game i make but i PROMISE and i SWEAR having a good lcd and colour correction filter or just playing on an actual gba makes a world of difference with the visuals in this game - please stop blowing it up on a big monitor and then judging the game's visuals based on how it looks there im begging because it's simply just not how it was intended to be viewed by the devs.