Epically Divorced Men
“'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
These games would have you believe otherwise. Featuring men rolling in the proverbial gutter. Inconsolable, that their former wives can live yet still without them. The sheer grief they embody for those who are still alive. Love for specters of their own imagining contradictary to the very real personage in which they were rejected by. This is their stories.
!!!!!!!!!! SIGNIFICANT SPOILERS IN THE NOTES !!!!!!!!!!
(If you wish to add a suggestion please provide a relevant epic quote if you can)
These games would have you believe otherwise. Featuring men rolling in the proverbial gutter. Inconsolable, that their former wives can live yet still without them. The sheer grief they embody for those who are still alive. Love for specters of their own imagining contradictary to the very real personage in which they were rejected by. This is their stories.
!!!!!!!!!! SIGNIFICANT SPOILERS IN THE NOTES !!!!!!!!!!
(If you wish to add a suggestion please provide a relevant epic quote if you can)
8 Games
"Oh boy... You really took me for a ride today. I guess I'll be happy if I make a sale, though. I've gotta hit a home run with this business... To prove to my wife I can be successful! It's the only way she'll ever come back!"
“Marth... Your highness... I have finally awakened... From my deep dream... Your highness... I am deeply sorry... I fought with my inner demon. However I was too weak... I resisted with all my might... But I still lost... I hoped for your highness' hand to end my life... That way I could be saved... Your highness... Nyna... Please take care of Nyna... She... I hope you... can tell her... In the... end... I still... loved her... I hope... She can... forgive me...”
“Prince... Marth... I feel as though... I've finally awoken... from a long, long nightmare... Marth... Forgive me... I tried to fight the demon inside me. ...But I wasn't strong enough. I fought so hard, but... I just couldn't beat it... I wanted to die by your hand... And now I'm finally saved... Marth... Please... Nyna... Save Nyna... Please... ...Tell her... Tell her for me... Till... till the very end... I ...loved her... always... Tell her... to please...forgive me...”
Hades: "I... how... you... Go. Go, then. Go!! Get out of here! Get out!"
Zagreus: "I told you that I would, Father. And I'm going to. Goodbye."
Hades: "...Wait. Wait, just... if you... if you find her. If you somehow find her? Tell her something for me, tell her... Tell her Cerberus is doing very well."
Zagreus: "What? Wait. I don't think I owe you any favors, here. Though, answer me one question, and I'll give it some thought, how's that?"
Hades: "...I know your question, boy. But, ask it anyway."
Zagreus: "Persephone. My mother. Why did she leave?"
Hades: "...I... urgh... blood and darkness..."
Hades: "There... is... no... escape..."
Zagreus: "I told you that I would, Father. And I'm going to. Goodbye."
Hades: "...Wait. Wait, just... if you... if you find her. If you somehow find her? Tell her something for me, tell her... Tell her Cerberus is doing very well."
Zagreus: "What? Wait. I don't think I owe you any favors, here. Though, answer me one question, and I'll give it some thought, how's that?"
Hades: "...I know your question, boy. But, ask it anyway."
Zagreus: "Persephone. My mother. Why did she leave?"
Hades: "...I... urgh... blood and darkness..."
Hades: "There... is... no... escape..."
“No, Harry.” She shakes her head sadly. “No. I don’t want a massive epic showdown. I want to go to the aerodrome. I have tickets for the 10:20 flight to Mirova…” She looks at you plaintively. “Really… We don’t have anything to talk about anymore. Every combination of words has been played out. The atoms don’t form anymore, us, our love, our unborn daughters… It’s all gone. I have to go to the aerodrome. I have to leave Revachol and you. And you have to be alone—in hell, forever. That’s just the way it is.”
[Asgore] Tori... You came back...!
[Toriel] Do not "Tori" me, Dreemurr!
[Toriel] You pathetic whelp.
[Toriel] If you really wanted to free our kind...
[Toriel] You could have gone through the barrier after you got ONE SOUL...
[Toriel] ... taken six SOULs from the humans, then come back and freed everyone peacefully.
[Toriel] But instead, you made everyone live in despair...
[Toriel] Because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes.
[Asgore] ...
[Asgore] ... Tori...
[Asgore] You're right...
[Asgore] I am a miserable creature...
[Asgore] ... but, do you think we can at least be friends again?
[Toriel] (Sigh.)
[Toriel] NO, Asgore.
[Toriel] Do not "Tori" me, Dreemurr!
[Toriel] You pathetic whelp.
[Toriel] If you really wanted to free our kind...
[Toriel] You could have gone through the barrier after you got ONE SOUL...
[Toriel] ... taken six SOULs from the humans, then come back and freed everyone peacefully.
[Toriel] But instead, you made everyone live in despair...
[Toriel] Because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes.
[Asgore] ...
[Asgore] ... Tori...
[Asgore] You're right...
[Asgore] I am a miserable creature...
[Asgore] ... but, do you think we can at least be friends again?
[Toriel] (Sigh.)
[Toriel] NO, Asgore.
Ghostly, she stood in front of him and looked into his eyes. “I am here,” she said. “I am here. I want to touch you.” She pleaded: “Look at me!” But he would not see her; he only knew how to look at the outsides of things.
"Well, my wife left me today. The last thing she said to me was: "What's more important, the Cuccos or me?!" I chose the Cuccos."
"Now that my wife wants nothing to do with me, my Cuccos are my only emotional support..."
"Waaah... Sir Link... Could it be that my little Cuccos have stopped loving me just like my wife? My Cuccos... It can't be so... Where are you, my sweet Cuccos... My poor Cuccos..."
"Though I do wish my wife would come back to me, just like my Cuccos did..."
"Rola! You came back!! ...Oh. It's just you. For a moment, I thought my wife had returned... sigh"
"Now that my wife wants nothing to do with me, my Cuccos are my only emotional support..."
"Waaah... Sir Link... Could it be that my little Cuccos have stopped loving me just like my wife? My Cuccos... It can't be so... Where are you, my sweet Cuccos... My poor Cuccos..."
"Though I do wish my wife would come back to me, just like my Cuccos did..."
"Rola! You came back!! ...Oh. It's just you. For a moment, I thought my wife had returned... sigh"
11 Comments
Alright I read all of Turnabout Big Top and while yes I agree Moe has divorced energy I don't think he is 'epically divorced'. What I mean by this is that the divorce isn't like a defining characteristic of his character. Hes not trying to 'win her back' or living in perpetual misery to the event hes just like "yeah im divorced" and thats that. I want to clarify that just being divorced isn't what makes you epic but instead the incredible reaction to it.
Street Fighter 6 for Divorced Ken
I wish he was divorced but I don't think he is? Its so sad. I was hoping they were going to do something interesting with Ken. Ill check to confirm anyway
Cado from Breath of the Wild. Multiple instances
"Well, my wife left me today. The last thing she said to me was: "What's more important, the Cuccos or me?!" I chose the Cuccos."
"Now that my wife wants nothing to do with me, my Cuccos are my only emotional support..."
"Waaah... Sir Link... Could it be that my little Cuccos have stopped loving me just like my wife? My Cuccos... It can't be so... Where are you, my sweet Cuccos... My poor Cuccos..."
"Though I do wish my wife would come back to me, just like my Cuccos did..."
"Rola! You came back!! ...Oh. It's just you. For a moment, I thought my wife had returned... sigh"
"Well, my wife left me today. The last thing she said to me was: "What's more important, the Cuccos or me?!" I chose the Cuccos."
"Now that my wife wants nothing to do with me, my Cuccos are my only emotional support..."
"Waaah... Sir Link... Could it be that my little Cuccos have stopped loving me just like my wife? My Cuccos... It can't be so... Where are you, my sweet Cuccos... My poor Cuccos..."
"Though I do wish my wife would come back to me, just like my Cuccos did..."
"Rola! You came back!! ...Oh. It's just you. For a moment, I thought my wife had returned... sigh"
Yeah thats pretty epic
My submission for Golf Story:
Estranged Wife: As your wife, I’m entitled to a good portion of your winnings. Tobias (new boyfriend) is going to start a new phone thingy. So play well for us!
Commentator: What exactly is your game plan going into today?
Wife: Well Tucker, first I’m going to bring up the selfishness of his actions and how he’s hurting his family. From there, I will move onto shaming his golfing abilities. I also have a wealth of knowledge of his past failures.
Commentator: A solid plan indeed!
Wife: And I assure you that at the end of the day, Tobias and I will be leaving with at least half of those winnings.
Estranged Wife: As your wife, I’m entitled to a good portion of your winnings. Tobias (new boyfriend) is going to start a new phone thingy. So play well for us!
Commentator: What exactly is your game plan going into today?
Wife: Well Tucker, first I’m going to bring up the selfishness of his actions and how he’s hurting his family. From there, I will move onto shaming his golfing abilities. I also have a wealth of knowledge of his past failures.
Commentator: A solid plan indeed!
Wife: And I assure you that at the end of the day, Tobias and I will be leaving with at least half of those winnings.
Al Limony from Occult Crime Police: Medium at Large
"You think I'm about to go crying off to some therapist about all this? Of course not! MY WIFE TOOK THE THERAPIST IN THE DIVORCE!"
"You think I'm about to go crying off to some therapist about all this? Of course not! MY WIFE TOOK THE THERAPIST IN THE DIVORCE!"
amazing list. is Joel from TLOU divorced or a widower ? Don't know if this was ever explained
nice picks
On these
@thealexmott:
I actually played this one! Yes the protagonist is divorced and its epic but epically divorced he is not. Like I think hes doing the best he can to actually move on.
@anosmicanimator:
There might be a case for this one! I just can't really find much on my end to confirm. But I probably need either a few more examples or something comparably epic to what I have for the other cases here.
@evilresident:
Haven't played it myself but I looked it up. He is divorced it seems but like the developers say it was a bad break up and thats why he doesnt keep any photos around which sort of implies hes not eternally reminiscing on times where they were together or equivalent. Which is like the main vibe I am going for
@thealexmott:
I actually played this one! Yes the protagonist is divorced and its epic but epically divorced he is not. Like I think hes doing the best he can to actually move on.
@anosmicanimator:
There might be a case for this one! I just can't really find much on my end to confirm. But I probably need either a few more examples or something comparably epic to what I have for the other cases here.
@evilresident:
Haven't played it myself but I looked it up. He is divorced it seems but like the developers say it was a bad break up and thats why he doesnt keep any photos around which sort of implies hes not eternally reminiscing on times where they were together or equivalent. Which is like the main vibe I am going for
BigGnome
2 months ago