I will be slowly adding to this review, and it will likely end up being really, really long, but my summary is this.

Tears of the Kingdom is Domino's Pizza. I ate it sober, and the critics ate it baked out of their minds. To me, its a greasy bit of open world action that satisfies me, but never impresses. To them, its the best food they've ever eaten.

If you liked Breath of the Wild, this is basically that, but removing the sheikah slate powers with infinitely more impractical ones. Gone are remote bombs and stasis, instead you get the incredibly gimmicky recall and ascend powers. Ascend is a nice get out of jail free card in regular caves, but recall is totally useless outside of puzzles. Fuse is a cool gimmick that bellyflops the execution by making the act of fusing a constant tedious process, thats required to make weapons do damage. 90% of items are useless to fuse because they only affect elemental powers and a static power level.

The Ultra Hand steals the show, essentially being a more unwieldy GMod prop gun. The main problem with this power, along with fuse, is that I expected them to be so much deeper than they are. Fuse only really adds an element or higher DPS to weapons, and ultra hand can build bridges or useless makeshift vehicles for your amusement. To make matters worse, you have to grind up useful interactable props in a gacha machine in the sky. So making your own fun is often prefaced with grinding Zonai cores to trade in.

The other big nut tap I recieved was finding out how weak the dungeons are in TOTK. Theres 4 and a quarter dungeons in the game, and all of them can be beaten with little thought in less than 45 minutes each. The bosses are alright, although too easy with the expection of the thunder boss and final bosses. If there was one god damn thing I wanted Nintendo to fix after 6 years, it was the weak ass dungeons. And they couldn't even do that.

Tears of the Kingdom is stuck in limbo. Its not fresh in the slightest, but it slaps some total gimmicks into a 6 year old game, like a 50 year old lady slapping on layers of makeup. The new powers are now my textbook definition of gimmick, its so face slappingly obvious. They seem like gamechangers for about an hour, before fading into the background for 45. The shrines exist as some form of justification for them, making cool but overly simple physics puzzles involving ultrahand.

The massive underground depths are again, cool at first. But they take way too long to explore, are butt ugly and also don't contain any substancial content. So...from a game design perspective, why even have them? It feels cynical, like making a big, second ugly copy pasted overworld will band aid the severe lack of change.

The sky islands are actually a great addition. They feel fresh, with cool geometry, puzzles and rewards, but there's barely any of them. It pains me to say that, because the thing thats all over the marketing actually works as an addition to good game, and they underdevelop them. What were they doing for 6 years??

And I don't really need to say it, but after reading countless critic reviews praising it, I need to. The story and writing is abysmal. Characters have very, very simple personalities. There's no wit or charm to the very inhuman dialogue, consisting of what feels like robots constantly congratulating each other. Way to go, Link! Zelda for example, is just a shell of a human, she doesn't joke, entertain or even try to do anything but exposition dump, as does LITERALLY every major player in the game.

I have more to say...but I'll break here for now. I wouldn't normally go this hard, but after beating it and seeing the insane 97 metascore, I feel obliged to kind of, put my hands up and say, "what the fuck, people?" Its totally good, fine, and fun enough, but so are Hogwarts and Jedi Survivor. Neither of which are worse or better than TOTK. Its like giving the Mario Movie an Oscar.

Breath of the Wild felt like a special game with a creative vision, Tears of the Kingdom feels like an unnecessary retread of it. And I say that, experiencing the new additions, feeling they aren't very meaty or interesting, and looking back at it from the end. I'm not like the reactionaries on this site who are disappointed and give it half a star. By all means, its polished and impressive by the standards of a Switch game in a post PS5 world. But it's no big shot mind blower like the original BOTW, or Elden Ring. It's not fun enough to beat out Sekiro, Doom 2016 or Hollow Knight. It's not creative or even close to as smart as Outer Wilds, Disco Elysium or Forgotten City. It's a fun mindless open world jaunt, and I'm not pretending it's more than that.

FF7 is just as good people hype it up to be. It starts off in the iconic Midgar with what is probably the most action packed opening of any JRPG, and after a few hours it's already opening up its world. It gets even better the more mysteries are unconvered, the more materia and limit breaks you acquire. The forced minigames are really the only complaint I have with it. It's not hard to understand why this was such a massive deal in the early 3D era with how cinematic and spectacular it is. Even to this day the seamless transitions between gameplay and FMVs with uninterrupted music are mindblowing, and the pre rendered backgrounds have an untouchable aesthetic.

No matter how hard Square Enix try with countless spinoffs and retellings in the same universe with all the advanced technology of today, they aren't able to replicate the magic that was achieved on a PS1 and only make its story retroactively worse. It's not nostalgia talking - this is coming from a person who first played it 23 years after release. There is a great subtlety to the original and its characters that the remakes miss completely. Sephiroth, one of the coolest villains of all time, is basically an entirely different character in every media released after this and his cryptic terrifying aura is lost for the sake of fanservice. I choose to think of this game as existing in a vacuum and will always recommend it over anything else as the most complete consistent work.

About a month ago, I- on a whim- took a deep and blind dive into the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy. In the span of about 10 days, I went from someone who didn’t know anything about the series into someone who does own a Phoenix Wright T-shirt and have adopted objection into my vocabulary at any opportunity possible. I love Ace Attorney.

Back when the remaster of Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective was announced, I was very curious because I had heard of the game long ago, and the reactions to the announcement were incredibly positive. However, I did not bite. After I played the Phoenix Wright trilogy I did some reading about the development and history- only to find that Ghost Trick was a passion project made by key figures of Ace Attorney? Along with a preorder of the newly released Apollo Justice trilogy, I picked up Ghost Trick on a whim just to see if it would scratch any of my itches.

My goodness, Ghost Trick scratched my itches. Heck- it made itches I didn’t even know I had, and then proceeded to scratch those too. I will not mince words here, Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective is a masterpiece.

The back of the box, elevator-pitch concept of Ghost Trick, rewinding time to save people from being killed by solving puzzles via possessing and manipulating objects is already something so inherently fun, fresh, and silly that I can’t believe it took until 2010 to try it out, frankly. That concept is fun right from chapter 1, and it continues to be fun until the end credits. I struggle to think of ideas they weren’t able to squeeze out with that mechanic, it feels like it is used to its fullest potential- and the wave of satisfaction that crashes over you when the solution clicks is about as euphoric as video games can get. I was grinning ear to ear and chuckling to myself when the gears in my brain aligned perfectly and I saw how to make the situation play out. As someone who grew up on games like Scribblenauts- ironically, another DS era puzzle game- every single chapter gave me a moment like the scene of Ego in Ratatouille being reminded of his childhood after taking a bite of his food.

Now, that would be enough for me to love the game, but to make another Ratatouille allegory (of all things), take the scene where Remy first tries a bite of one food, only to mix it with another and see the burst of flavor, captivating his imagination and taste-buds even more than the sum of their parts. The gameplay mechanics are one of those foods, the other is the Ace Attorney-esque creativity, silliness, and fun found in their storytelling. That combo, pardon the situational irony- is killer.

Ghost Trick’s story is so much fun, so insane, and so enjoyable that when it ended I almost just booted it up right from chapter 1 once more and played through it again. It is so intricately made that you feel an infectious beam of passion from the developers weaving together its tight narrative. It is engaging, goofy, and I could not put it down. Between the story, gameplay, and 10-ish hour long campaign, I would absolutely not blame someone for playing this game in one long binge. If not for life circumstances, I would’ve absolutely considered it. If that isn’t a great compliment, then I don’t know what is.

I could go on about how much I liked individual characters, twists, or set pieces. I could talk about how earworm-y its soundtrack is or how striking and bold the art direction presents itself. I could talk about so, so many things. But I won’t. I will never take the opportunity away for someone to just jump into this game and love it as I did. I seldom give a game a 5 star immediately after playing something, but this is a time where I can do it with confidence.

Everyone should play, experience, and love Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective. If you don’t, you’re an odd person- and I’m sure many would agree.

Incredible game

In a lot of ways P3R is as good as you could wish for a remake to be, but its visual and auditory shortcomings are hard to ignore. Still this is one of the most fun RPGs you can play and I barely put it down since release.

First thing you'll notice is that the UI and character animations / art are mostly incredible, I love the ocean blue aesthetic for the menus and it doesn't feel too much like a copy of P5's. Gameplay is amazing, incorporating the best mechanics of newer games like the Baton Pass but now with actual balancing. The "Showtime"-esque mechanic with flashy special attacks isn't completely braindead and adds new strategies. This is pretty easily the best combat in the Persona series and every boss fight has been upgraded a lot in terms of gimmicks and challenge, making them stand out more from one another. Tartarus has also been fleshed out considerably speeding up the levelling process. You can mix and match all party members without anyone falling too far behind. P3 already had the best written story but certain characters with less screen time in the original have been given way more attention, and the male members of SEES can be hung out with giving their own bonuses. Finally QOL changes mean the average player will see much more of what the game has to offer in the side content. So both gameplay and story are a huge success here!

Sadly Reload didn't even try to be a definitive version of P3. Besides the obvious missing FES content (likely getting added as expensive DLC) and Portable, there's much more terrible decisions. The most insane is obviously the remixed music. The P3 OST is one of the most beloved of all time and not even having it as an OPTION in the remake is downright criminal. WIthout exception every remix has worse mixing and less power than its original, and the sound effects are weaker too. The vocalist doesn't fit P3's vibe and sounds like she's straight up struggling with the songs. New tracks are decent but again don't fit the mid 2000s vibe and were clearly made without Meguro's involvement. Presentation is also all over the place. It can look really nice in the day sections with the 60fps and raytracing implemented. but a lot of Dark Hour scenes look horrible now. How is it even possible for a PS2 game to have better lighting than a PS5 one? My last major complaint is the new anime cutscenes. Any sense of the raw edginess and symbolism of the original is gone for a much more sterile direction, and the scenes chosen to be 2D animated are randomly chosen like the awesome awakening scene which is now animated in engine and it just kinda sucks.

It doesn't replace FES for me which still reigns supreme in terms of SOVL but it could maybe have been perfect had it been given more time and budget. Now we have 3 completely different versions of P3 :D