Macklemore
This game sucks ass. You need to pick up the web during the first level (why the fuck didn't they just give Spider-Man the web in the first place), you have 3 continues but if you die even once before the 5th level (which is where you get web again,) you lose the web and you're left to fight with nothing but your shitty kick and punches that have insufferable range. Why not just give me no continues, cause clearly Spider-Man is just fucking shit without the web? No one knows. Definitely someone who thought this was a good idea. Kinda bonkers how people have good opinions of this game even though they know it's nothing but pure liquid shit deep down. Only good thing about this game is the fact that it's short so sooner or later you get an understanding of the level design and you know what to expect and when to expect it.
1991
This game fucks sucks. It's got everything about this type of game that I hate. Floaty controls, an "attack" that you have "control" of in the loosest sense of the word, shitty level designs that require no skill only luck. Sometimes your hand turns to Scooby Doo, there's a level where you get chased by a Gucci shoe (if you don't look at it while it's behind you it just explodes), there's a level where you're bothered by a gang of tiny He-Men, there's a level where you have to pray to Morgan Freeman, sometimes you just randomly start glowing and it starts snowing.
It fucking sucks.
It fucking sucks.
1987
1997
1986
1992
Shitty platforming games be like
1) We will give you health, but the things that kill you (pitfalls) will be instant and will have you rely on making leaps of faith which are the ways to progress the level. < ---- THIS IS SOUL AND NOT A SHAM
2) We will have a game that relies on movement have the movement be sluggish, sometimes not register (especially if you're on a slope), and have the movement take a literal year to come to a stop.
3) We will have famous cartoon character.. and people will pay for brand... not product... hehehe...
Only reason I'm giving this 1 star and not zero is cause it's apparently hard (?) and it gives me a sense of accomplishment for finishing it. Otherwise, it's terrible, it sucks and the people who made it need to
1) We will give you health, but the things that kill you (pitfalls) will be instant and will have you rely on making leaps of faith which are the ways to progress the level. < ---- THIS IS SOUL AND NOT A SHAM
2) We will have a game that relies on movement have the movement be sluggish, sometimes not register (especially if you're on a slope), and have the movement take a literal year to come to a stop.
3) We will have famous cartoon character.. and people will pay for brand... not product... hehehe...
Only reason I'm giving this 1 star and not zero is cause it's apparently hard (?) and it gives me a sense of accomplishment for finishing it. Otherwise, it's terrible, it sucks and the people who made it need to
TBD
1990
I think it's impossible to hate on a game that tries to inspire you on its end screen (https://i.imgur.com/Wl61o3k.png), even if the game itself is kinda bad and it has a shit version of Poker that has you lose money on a pair.
1987
1994
This has a bit of a drop off at the Circus Stage, but then it picks up with the Ice Stage. I genuinely think the Circus Stage puts this on a low level for me, even though the rest of the game was insanely enjoyable. Kinda sucks how no boss can be hurt by the nuts, except for Bozo, that threw me for a loop. He's genuinely such a pain to fight without the nuts.
1994
1992
Game itself was genuinely cute and challenging, but it is genuinely such a strange game. The final boss of the bad ending is such an easy character to beat compared to the previous boss before it, and even the snail on the third level. Also too many times did it have things ahead of me which hurt me without even giving me a chance to react to them, which is a bit of a stupid problem with it.
Anyway, I'm never doing the good ending. This is my canon. Mr. Gimmick dies from heartbreak, fuck that jellybean.
Anyway, I'm never doing the good ending. This is my canon. Mr. Gimmick dies from heartbreak, fuck that jellybean.
2021