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Abject cruelty.
There's some great stuff in here with the doors opened by the new powers, but it all still suffers from the same issues BOTW had.
These new Zelda games have a real problem with rewarding the player. You're given all the upgrades in the first couple of hours, which means almost every chest you open for the rest of the game is either a weapon that will be broken in 2 minutes, or often a piece of armour from the previous entry. It made me end up feeling deflated at the end of most quests.
This isn't helped by it all taking place in a world you already know with some changes. It's less "The Sequel to Breath of the Wild" as it is BOTW 1.5. I'm desperate for the next mainline entry to be a well curated semi-linear joint. Take me back.
These new Zelda games have a real problem with rewarding the player. You're given all the upgrades in the first couple of hours, which means almost every chest you open for the rest of the game is either a weapon that will be broken in 2 minutes, or often a piece of armour from the previous entry. It made me end up feeling deflated at the end of most quests.
This isn't helped by it all taking place in a world you already know with some changes. It's less "The Sequel to Breath of the Wild" as it is BOTW 1.5. I'm desperate for the next mainline entry to be a well curated semi-linear joint. Take me back.
2006
It just plays like total shit. I've seen the old trailers showing fake gameplay, I knew it would never be like that, but deary me it is miles away from what they promised.
Guns are somehow inaccurate, and yet also able to kill a dude by shooting vaguely close to his body. Sword fighting is a case of praying that the game decides whether or not to recognise that you moved the wiimote and nunchuck. They put checkpoints at the start of unskippable minute long cutscenes and then throw you into these bullshit sword fights that skill doesn't seem to enter into. It's maddening.
When I felt like I was nearing the end I did a quick google to see just how much I had left, and said "FUCK OFF" out loud when I saw that I was a quarter of the way through, and my playtime was only two and a half hours. I would have bet you money I'd sank ten hours into it easily.
It's a disappointment in every way, and despite featuring plenty East Asian actors, feels racist in a way that's hard for a man of my intelligence to articulate. Please avoid. Don't let curiosity get the better of you like it did me.
Guns are somehow inaccurate, and yet also able to kill a dude by shooting vaguely close to his body. Sword fighting is a case of praying that the game decides whether or not to recognise that you moved the wiimote and nunchuck. They put checkpoints at the start of unskippable minute long cutscenes and then throw you into these bullshit sword fights that skill doesn't seem to enter into. It's maddening.
When I felt like I was nearing the end I did a quick google to see just how much I had left, and said "FUCK OFF" out loud when I saw that I was a quarter of the way through, and my playtime was only two and a half hours. I would have bet you money I'd sank ten hours into it easily.
It's a disappointment in every way, and despite featuring plenty East Asian actors, feels racist in a way that's hard for a man of my intelligence to articulate. Please avoid. Don't let curiosity get the better of you like it did me.
Short and sweet, and it fuckin' rules. Platinum absolutely did it here. It's nice to be playing one of their games these days that doesn't make me feel disappointed.
I think I like Transformers now.
I think I like Transformers now.
It's not fun when you're playing a Castlevania and just feel bored. I wish I could put my finger on exactly what it was about this, but it just didn't hit the way the others have for me.
The DSS system is cool but feels underbaked. Most of the combos seem useless, and just trying to get cards for it is tedious. Nothing screams "Castlevania" like exiting and entering a room again and again to kill a single enemy while hoping for the RNG to be nice to you.
Honestly feels more like a fan game.
The DSS system is cool but feels underbaked. Most of the combos seem useless, and just trying to get cards for it is tedious. Nothing screams "Castlevania" like exiting and entering a room again and again to kill a single enemy while hoping for the RNG to be nice to you.
Honestly feels more like a fan game.
2021
I peaced out shortly after the map was revealed.
Just don't have it in me anymore to play something this size that I know won't have enough cool incremental upgrades to keep it interesting.
Just don't have it in me anymore to play something this size that I know won't have enough cool incremental upgrades to keep it interesting.
Replayed for the first time since launch as part of all the Alan Wake streams I've been doing in the leadup to 2.
Been great going through all the surrounding lore with folk in chat. Wakeheads rise up etc.
Been great going through all the surrounding lore with folk in chat. Wakeheads rise up etc.
1996
This review contains spoilers
Feels good to kill Seath in other realities.
I'll follow that bitch anywhere he runs, Moonlight Greatsword in hand.
I'll follow that bitch anywhere he runs, Moonlight Greatsword in hand.
I quite liked the greater focus on platforming in this one, but it just doesn't hit the same way Castlevania 64 did for me.
1999
This is great. I spent all these years hearing about how terrible it was, and I have to assume most of it was from folk regurgitating AVGN patter without playing it. Same thing they did for Simon's Quest.
I was tearing up when Reinhardt prayed for Rosa's soul. How could I hate this?
I was tearing up when Reinhardt prayed for Rosa's soul. How could I hate this?
I remember enjoying this a lot back in the day.
But back in the day was 12 years ago, and I was a 22 year old idiot.
But back in the day was 12 years ago, and I was a 22 year old idiot.
The words I kept seeing in relation to this DLC from people were "IP Abandonment", and they couldn't be more apt.
It feels like the devs resented the game after the general reception, and decided to just put an end to it, but it's done in such a poor predictable way that it's laughable. A twist you can see coming a mile away because from second one nothing makes any sense and you're told to just ignore it. Even putting a sweet hammer in your hands and letting you pulp enemies can't save this mess.
While I was laughing at how crap the ending was, they tried to get a laugh out of me in the post-credits and I went stony-faced.
It feels like the devs resented the game after the general reception, and decided to just put an end to it, but it's done in such a poor predictable way that it's laughable. A twist you can see coming a mile away because from second one nothing makes any sense and you're told to just ignore it. Even putting a sweet hammer in your hands and letting you pulp enemies can't save this mess.
While I was laughing at how crap the ending was, they tried to get a laugh out of me in the post-credits and I went stony-faced.
2016
God knows why this even has a solo option. It's interminably boring. I imagine there's fun to be had with friends, but am I fuck asking folk to jump into this so we can do "Gang Beasts but a round lasts 20 minutes".
I did lots of walking around and fiddling with physics, and sometimes a wee bit of music would play. That's it. There's so little here and I'm baffled as to how it became to popular.
I did lots of walking around and fiddling with physics, and sometimes a wee bit of music would play. That's it. There's so little here and I'm baffled as to how it became to popular.
A great deduction game that continually made me feel like a true brain genius, and wrapped in a lovely horrible artstyle. An easy 5 stars.
There is nothing quite like staring at all the info in front of you, convinced it's correct, but being told something isn't right... And then you see it! Swap those around because you forgot what happened a few cases back! That's it! YOUR INVITE TO MENSA IS IN THE MAIL!
There is nothing quite like staring at all the info in front of you, convinced it's correct, but being told something isn't right... And then you see it! Swap those around because you forgot what happened a few cases back! That's it! YOUR INVITE TO MENSA IS IN THE MAIL!
2016
Despite the PC Gamepass version having such terrible lighting bugs that I had stop at the last level, buy the game on steam, and transfer the save over because the screen was a mess of blinding greens and purples, this is pretty good.
A solid fun shooter with cool powers and a genuinely interesting and clever time-travel plot. Also the TV show you watch that reflects your decisions is such a nice wee treat.
A solid fun shooter with cool powers and a genuinely interesting and clever time-travel plot. Also the TV show you watch that reflects your decisions is such a nice wee treat.