Okaten
2017
I played this game for like 4 days when it came out and haven't bothered revisiting until just now, wtf are all these new unit skins and why do they have college essays for skill descriptions
It is utterly batshit insane that people will shit on Thousand Year Door for having backtracking when the 3rd chapter of this game gives you 12 levels and requires you to revisit some of them multiple times just to collect some goofy ahh wiggler body parts. And this chapter drags on for so long that it's almost half the entire game.
This review contains spoilers
This game was pretty good until I got to the final case, where right when I thought it was gonna end with the Yatagarasu being caught, some old fuck comes in and turns out to be the other big crimer. You then get into a back and forth with this guy and it goes like this:
Edgeworth: "Take that, Quercus Alba! Here's decisive evidence of this thing you were involved with in the case!"
Alba: "OBJECTION! My extraterritorial rights allow me to nullify that evidence! Now I must go on my flight!"
Lang: "GRRRRR I HATE EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS"
Gumshoe/Kay: "Oh shit, Edgeworth, he's getting away! What do we do to stop him!?"
Edgeworth: "Ngh...! Think, Edgeworth! There has to be some other thing this man did in the crime scene! Wait, that's it!
Take that, Quercus Alba! Here's decisive evidence of this thing you were involved with in the case!"
This exchange lasts for about 2 hours.
Edgeworth: "Take that, Quercus Alba! Here's decisive evidence of this thing you were involved with in the case!"
Alba: "OBJECTION! My extraterritorial rights allow me to nullify that evidence! Now I must go on my flight!"
Lang: "GRRRRR I HATE EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS"
Gumshoe/Kay: "Oh shit, Edgeworth, he's getting away! What do we do to stop him!?"
Edgeworth: "Ngh...! Think, Edgeworth! There has to be some other thing this man did in the crime scene! Wait, that's it!
Take that, Quercus Alba! Here's decisive evidence of this thing you were involved with in the case!"
This exchange lasts for about 2 hours.
2014
The beauty of Momodora 3 is that even though the game has a punch to its difficulty, you can easily punch back and break its face.
Very early on, you get an item summoning a helper afterimage who hunts enemies for you. It's not invincible, but it makes most enemies way easier to deal with.
There's another item that gives you a fast charged projectile, which when used in conjunction with the other item that gives your projectiles a poison trail, makes regular enemies a joke.
And, of course, I can't forget about the item that gives a 4x damage boost when on low HP. With this, bosses become a joke, even the last one.
I beat this game in 2 hours, but considering the busted shit, it can be beaten much faster. Considering this game has an achievement expecting you to beat it in 25 minutes (and a world record time of 6 minutes 14 seconds), I think it can convert anyone into a speedrunner.
Very early on, you get an item summoning a helper afterimage who hunts enemies for you. It's not invincible, but it makes most enemies way easier to deal with.
There's another item that gives you a fast charged projectile, which when used in conjunction with the other item that gives your projectiles a poison trail, makes regular enemies a joke.
And, of course, I can't forget about the item that gives a 4x damage boost when on low HP. With this, bosses become a joke, even the last one.
I beat this game in 2 hours, but considering the busted shit, it can be beaten much faster. Considering this game has an achievement expecting you to beat it in 25 minutes (and a world record time of 6 minutes 14 seconds), I think it can convert anyone into a speedrunner.
beam attack
I said the funny from the Failboat, laugh
fucking laugh
I said the funny from the Failboat, laugh
fucking laugh
Combat's fun and it's got some good character interactions, but it doesn't do a good job of representing Etrian Odyssey's great level design. Whoever designed the Evil Spirit Club and Inaba Pride Exhibit needs to be sent to a mental asylum and locked there for about a year at least.
Music goes hard though, shoutouts to the final dungeon OST.
Music goes hard though, shoutouts to the final dungeon OST.
2004
NAAAAAAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
KATAMARI DAMACY
KATAMARI DAMACY
1988
Still better than Lost Levels that's for sure
2019
I can confirm that as someone who doesn't know Touhou that you won't learn shit about Touhou through this.
Doesn't matter though, the game's an incredible Metroidvania that makes great use of time stop mechanics. It feels like it'd be a blast to speedrun.
Doesn't matter though, the game's an incredible Metroidvania that makes great use of time stop mechanics. It feels like it'd be a blast to speedrun.
The fact that this game is the 13th most sold Switch game is more than enough to prove humanity has not left the Stone Age.
Rare Ubisoft W (now with Donkey Kong)
This game truly reaches its peak as Minecraft fanfiction at the chapter where you play Danganronpa with several Minecraft youtubers.
Thank fuck this didn't come out a few years later, because Telltale would have put Dream into this game and it would have created some of the worst discourse ever conceived on the internet. Thousands of stans would make edits where they salivate over every frame of Dream's avatar moving. Or they'd probably just make thousands of death threats at Telltale for not making Dream the MC of this abyss fiction visual novel.
Also, remember that one scene where the MC's pig died and turned into a floating pork chop? I cried.
cried out of laughter, that is
Thank fuck this didn't come out a few years later, because Telltale would have put Dream into this game and it would have created some of the worst discourse ever conceived on the internet. Thousands of stans would make edits where they salivate over every frame of Dream's avatar moving. Or they'd probably just make thousands of death threats at Telltale for not making Dream the MC of this abyss fiction visual novel.
Also, remember that one scene where the MC's pig died and turned into a floating pork chop? I cried.
cried out of laughter, that is
Digimon: "Hey, can I copy your project homework real quick? I need a good grade for this JRPG assignment."
Megami Tensei: "Yeah, sure. Just make sure to change it just enough so that it doesn't look like you copied me."
The next day...
Digimon: presents this game, gets an A
Megami Tensei: "Oh shit, he actually understood my advice and cooked something special. I'm proud."
Megami Tensei: "Yeah, sure. Just make sure to change it just enough so that it doesn't look like you copied me."
The next day...
Digimon: presents this game, gets an A
Megami Tensei: "Oh shit, he actually understood my advice and cooked something special. I'm proud."
2019
This game feels like when your father comes back home after being away for more than a decade, but he only arrives to get one of the suitcases he left behind before immediately walking out the door.
2020
It's the Overwatch of gacha games; the game is ass but it goes hard as a rule34 tag