385 reviews liked by PunnyPeace


This is the most perfectly safe Castlevania i've played, it doesn't do anything particularly good nor does it really do anything particularly bad. It's just ok. Juste is a great controlling protag and I think the main reason is because of the back AND the front dash, first protag to get it. And I don't know why more don't have it, its so good. Otherwise yeah this one wasn't too bad to play but it's also not really anything noteworthy that it's causing me to be redundant. You get the idea.

no review yet but i just played balloon park and i think i might murder someone

very close to being the best kart racer ever made but then there's a hundred baffling design decisions that keep it from being that, will probably pick it up again once they patched it a bunch

Replayed this for the sake of nostalgia and its themes of accepting your own death resonate with me even more now because this account is dying on May 27th, 2024

I'm so distraught with how mixed my feelings are for this game. There is so much effort and time put into this kart racer that is very visibly there; However there are certain big decisions in how it presents itself to the player and the track design that I DO NOT BLAME people for steering clear after the first few cups.

For some ODD reason, Ring Racers' tracks bounce from good to genuinely appalling. Me and some buddies have been doing Grand Prix for a good while and let me tell you, for every good designed track that actually feels like it accommodates for the controls, there is a slap in the face track that is either narrow, steep sloped, or a nightmare to face the CPUs on.

Oh yeah, the CPUs, you know that Rival that the game has for you? They always have access to frantic items, they get a bigger boost from rings than you do, their top speed is higher then yours, crazy rubberbanding, etc. If you were wondering if you were going crazy and bots always seemed to catch up to you at the worst possible moments, that is why.

I want to love this game. I really do, but this needed so much more PUBLIC testing. It is insane to me that they want folks to unlock and go after emeralds when some of these tracks make it their mission to stop you in your tracks and crit hit you into positions you will not come back from.

[UPDATE: 2.0 came out earlier today, and I've played more of the game. As such, I'm adding a few notes as I promised - the original review will be present below for the sake of posterity.]

- The AI has been tuned to be less rubberbandy. Good change, and I hope they touch up the items next; some of them feel absurdly overtuned. The shrink rays last way too long, cover way too much of the track, and have a deceptive hitbox (the sparks appear to be just for aesthetic purpose, but actually hit you), tops can hit you twice, and bumpers are way too punishing.
- Track design is a mixed bag. There's a lot of fun ones here, but Marble Garden Zone and Balloon Park Zone are some of the worst tracks I've ever seen in the genre and I'm genuinely baffled they were let through. In general, it appears the game has a thing for track design that forces you to slow down if you don't play absolutely perfectly (a good example being the crates in chokepoints in City Escape), whereas in better kart racers every hazard can be dealt with without slowing down simply by knowing the map and playing well. Not even the AI can navigate some of these decently!
- The fast falling button isn't as useful as I thought, since it makes your kart bounce when you land, which makes it far less useful in tighter tracks.
- The tutorial, while still obligatory, can be skipped earlier. I'm still not keen on that - just make the tutorial optional and have a prompt asking if they'd like to play the tutorial when entering Grand Prix or Online for the first time. Time Attack is also unlocked after completing your first race (instead of requiring 82 spray cans, what the hell?!), and, thinking about it, it's absurd it wasn't like this from the get go.
- Online is still locked behind five cups, albeit the optional tutorial race can unlock it instantly now. Just have it unlocked from the get-go! I think the devs' heart is in the right place (it's a hard game and they probably don't want players jumping online immediately and getting discouraged), but this is still oddly restrictive - again, just add a prompt asking if they'd like to learn the mechanics when they start the game or try to go into Grand Prix or Online right away. Mods are also unlocked at the same time.

I'm feeling more positive about this game, albeit there's still some changes to be made before I consider it "pretty good". Personally, I'd do some more balance changes to make items less overtuned and retool tracks so that you aren't forced to slow down at all, and then by making the tutorial optional but heavily recommended.

Again, the devs' heart is in the right place and there's a lot of promise here - the game just needs to move past those aches.

-------------------------
[ORIGINAL REVIEW - Based on day 1 thoughts.]

I’m learning I’m more tolerant of a lot more bullshit than most people on this site.

A lot of the complaints here are valid. To get it out of the way, yes, the tutorial is needlessly bullshit long. I get it there are many new mechanics here, and I think the presentation for it (and the setup screens before it) is charming and ooze passion from every pore, but the tutorial did not need to be 30-60 minutes long! The vast majority of what’s instructed here could be delivered in 10 minutes, tops.

I’m not too keen on some of the mechanics either; specifically the new currency system and the melee attack attached. You can have up to 20 rings, and that makes you faster (like the coins in Mario Kart and the Wumpa Fruit in Crash Team Racing), but you can spend those rings to charge up a melee attack that hits everyone around you. I don’t really see the point, because the items feel strong already (some maybe a bit too strong), and, y’know, it’s a racing game. Faster options are preferable.

Another I don’t really get is the trick system. I think the idea is fine, but there’s a few gripes I have with it - the UI element for timing a perfect trick (which covers more distance) is needlessly convoluted, and I don’t quite get the need to even have a “perfect” trick mechanic anyway given there’s a fast fall button now. Tricks are also only accessible through trick springs, which I rarely saw within the first seven cups, so it feels like an underused mechanic as well.

Unlike SRB2 Kart, this has a big singleplayer offering - I’m more of a singleplayer type, so that works great for me. What doesn’t is the AI; it feels absurdly aggressive and fucking LOVES to rubber band. It’s not uncommon for you to be doing well and the AI suddenly sails past you while cutting several corners. Maybe I just suck, I dunno, but I haven’t played another kart racing game with this level of bullshittery. There’s a bunch more singleplayer modes from what I gather, but I haven’t unlocked them yet, so… no comment.

However, the dumbest decision here is, by far, the one to lock mods behind completing five cups. The cups here are pretty big for kart racer standards, and considering just how important mods are to the scene that spawned this game… yeah, stupid ass decision. I get wanting to have players familiarize themselves with the game before modding the hell out of it, but this is, at minimum, a questionable approach to that.

Locking online behind completing a cup first is also something that got a lot irritated, and although I am a singleplayer gal first and foremost as I mentioned earlier, I completely understand the frustration - you can’t just hop on with friends online right out of the box. Couple that with the long ass tutorial, and you have a dealbreaker for many.

Another complaint I share is with color customization being locked behind finding spray cans in each map, instead of simply selecting it from the menu like in SBR2 Kart. I don’t mind the idea of having special unlockables hidden in the tracks (Crash Team Racing: Nitro Fueled did something similar with the unlockable metal box in its last update) but color customization feels like something too significant to make the target of a goose chase like that. Getting to the spray cans themselves can be very annoying too, with the few ones I’ve gone after so far being needlessly precise.

Moving on to the positives, this game is gorgeous and sounds great. The menu presentation and general artstyle feels ripped straight out of the Sega Saturn era, and it has a pretty excellent soundtrack, at least from what I’ve heard. The tracks look gorgeous as well, and the sheer number of them is insane. 200+! There appears to be a ridiculous number of SEGA characters, (crossing my fingers that a Yakuza character made the cut) and it’s just got generally really good fanservice.

And… honestly? Behind all the weird decisions here, there’s a really fun racing game here. It’s exhilarating to pull off a powerful drift and keep the speed going, and when the AI isn’t being a total jerk, it provides a really fun challenge! It can be a bit much visually and the game does a bad job explaining items and the new race start mechanic (ironic, given the tutorial’s length), but all in all, when it hits, it hits pretty well. It’s fun.

I absolutely do not blame anyone who decides to go back to SBR2K. Locking online, mods, and customization behind completing singleplayer stuff and that long ass tutorial can be a total dealbreaker if you’re just looking for something to fuck around in with your friends. But… I often just play singleplayer anyway. It works out in my favor here.

There’s a lot of love for the series on display here, and it’s obvious the devs are very passionate - it just needs to hold the player’s hand less.

This review contains spoilers

Did you know? You can skip the tutorial if you drive backwards from where you begin: you will be warped to an unbashedly difficult vs. CPU race, who thought this was right?

Also also, you unlock Time Attack after collecting EIGHTY TWO SPRAY CANS. Good luck collecting Spray Cans before you can even practice and study the tracks proper. At least the game looks nice, but that's about it. Never thought I'd feel disappointment in the same level as what I felt when playing BBTAG...

A game by absolute freaks, for absolute freaks. If you don't lab kart racers everyday like they're fighting games and try your hardest to complete EVERYTHING in those games, this game is NOT for you.
Almost avant-garde in how little it cares for the casual kart racer audience, forcing you to complete an excruciating tutorial that can take between 30 minutes and 1 hour. To complete one grand prix before you can unlock multiplayer (or use a cheat code). To complete FIVE grand prixes before you can unlock the ability to use old SRB2kart MODS! (or use a cheat code). To stay with one color for your character unless you collect the others, and collect all 82 to unlock time trials. Never has there been a game so obsessed with making players master its mechanics before letting them play with others, as if they were preparing you for real-life war or something.

The game even opens slowly walking you through every option, unlocking each thing in the menu, everything contextualized with Tails and Eggman speaking to you, as Metal Sonic. Clearly, the devs tried to defeat Sonic Robo Blast 2's unnecessarily long intro cutscene, and in their quest for Genesis nostalgiawanking, they made the awful choice of only having the button prompts of the Genesis controller in menus and tutorials, not a huge issue in controller, it is on keyboard, especially because this game just has way too many mechanics and when you finally have to use an obscure one, you gotta press every key or go to the menu to check what key you assigned as the Y Genesis button.

Back to the tutorial, what did they think they were making here, Final Fantasy XVII?? It doesn't even explain things that clearly and there's so much dialogue, no option to reread, just once and trial and error.
It'd be one thing to make a kart racer with a lot of complex mechanics if they all feel cohesive and the races really push you to your limits, like Sonic Riders or even Bomberman Fantasy Race, but I don't think this is it when the mechanics are like 8 different types of boosts, one for each hazard, a charged melee attack? A parry? Two different types of roulettes that by default you have to stop manually???
A lot of this doesn't even come up in the races, it's for the single-player challenges, if it is in the race, you can also probably brute force it and use boost mechanic #54 instead of boost mechanic #301 as originally intended.

There's potential here, but it doesn't feel as good as SRB2kart to be honest. I gave up at the drift section in the tutorial cuz I just couldn't get it to work and the only drift you HAVE to do to proceed is the ultra charged one that gives you max boost #302! If the kart stops moving while you try to drift you instead initiate, you guessed it, another boost mechanic, one that has its own separate dedicated button so why make the drift worse by putting it on that button as well?

I usually don't rank games if I know that they're just not for me or if I played that little, but I don't see how the things I complain about would really do any good to any game in any genre, and even if all players use a save file with everything unlocked, I'll have to stand my ground unless they rework everything.

They tried to make a kart racer with more complex mechanics than Sonic Riders, and thought they had to have THE MOST mechanics to do that. They saw that some Riders players missed mechanics because of the lack of a tutorial and thought they had to overtutorialize EVERYTHING and demanded they mastered the game before even letting them race.
Don't think this will ever catch on and most will probably continue to just play SRB2kart.

I can't tell whether the many Vs represent the ridiculous amount of spikes everywhere, or if they represent someone slamming down on a keyboard because they got frustrated

fun game tho :)

The first time I played this I had such negative rizz that I got the ending where you don't bond with any of the girls and instead just get drunk and fall of a building. Twice.

Why the fuck didn't Miki have a route.