Thank you for releasing me.

When you catch Articuno, it knows Peck and Ice Beam. Level it up once and it learns Blizzard. Level it up 10 times and it learns some useless moves. Wowie zowie.

When you catch Moltres, it knows Peck and Fire Spin. Level it up once and it learns fucking LEER. Level it up 10 times and it learns some useless moves. Wowie zowie.

I brought this to a friends house and watched my two friends go 0-0 into OT5, where one of them would randomly score. The other friend was flabbergasted into submission.

The bandicoots learned how to pilot vehicles and everyone was worse off for it.

The apes can run away from the weird kid with the electric butterfly net but they can't run away from their anxieties and insecurities.

It's pinball, but sometimes you catch a pokemon or two. Riveting stuff.

The Frankenstein's Monster of videogames. Worth it tho because it taught me how to do a fuckin infinite.

PUT IT ON THE FIRE REAL GOOD
PUT IT OUT COLD AND FEEL GOOD
IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE ONE
FIREMAN'S DAILY WORK CAN'T BE DONE

IN THE RAIN OR IN THE SNOW
I GOT THE FUNKY FLOW
BUT NOW
I REALLY GOTTA GOOooOOO

Crash chose to learn from his bad motorcycle driving and actually get good at driving a go-kart, leading to prosperity and mutual benefits for all.

No better way to start off the videogame with a starter that can't do shit to the first gym.

Spyro realized the secret of happiness is actual defined areas and NPCs with personalities to talk too.

jump around jump around jump around now
jump up jump up and get down