66 reviews liked by Sneeze


dude my cock is throbbing everywhere rn

this kinda sucks but mmmmggghhh im cumming

Nothing like some classic frog and fraction action

when i was like 14 i had a youtube channel where i'd make Comedic Overly Edited Reviews of Video Games and they were all horrible and barely went over a minute and my most popular one was on this game and it was just me doing a bad trailer voice listing off all the levels and i deleted the channel earlier this year so there's a very high chance that its just lost forever now

still a better mystery than persona 4

they’re going to hell for what they did with mizuki in aini after this

This review contains spoilers

While I was playing through the game my thoughts were really positive.
I thought the storytelling was great, I thought the environments were solid, and the gameplay was fun.

This game takes so much from Jet Set Radio Future it feels like borderline plagiarism.
From the structure of the game itself, to its color pallete and aesthetic.
And while hey there hasn't been one of those games in 20 years, it also feels like it fails to deliver on "Innovating" on that style.

What does it do differently?
-The controls are more in line with modern control schemes.
-It has a story.

"Now why are you so sour about it hellkrai?"
The Vehicles don't have any difference besides animations and some access to hidden areas.
The game is a tutorial from beginning to end.
Every step of the way it's introducing you to the mechanic which ends up becoming a problem when:
The game never challenges you on these mechanics.
Early on (Literally the first score attack section) you're told about a multiplier that triggers when you lean into corners on rails.
If you do this for every score attack fight (which is at the end of each chapter) you WILL win, you don't have to do anything else, just lean into corners and get the multiplier as high as possible.
The AI of enemies present ZERO challenge in this regard.
So what if you fail any of these challenges? Nothing, you get to retry instantly.

So with a game that is tutorial beginning to end where do you put the skills you found into play?
Well in a few Environmental puzzles or a couple of Late game challenges with secret characters.

This issue could be easily resolved by having a VS multiplayer mode, or even a hard mode that changes how scoring works.

So I marked the spoiler tag and I haven't spoiled anything yet? Well here is you last warning because I thought the story was really weak.

While playing it I found the story to be quite engaging and fun.
The scenes in RED's Dreams easily became one of my favorite sections.
(I jokingly would say while playing that the moments where the game isn't just Jet Set Radio are the best)

Well this all crumbles when you find out that the character you were trying to save is secretly "Evil the whole time".
I love the idea of a character that gets his head cut off and the head itself being a seperate character.
And said head ends up being an egomaniac, that's perfect symbolism, it works.
But the framing of him being self isolated because of his Ego and Privilege and it being the driving force of the entire plot really falls apart when the message from the BRC is "Just have friends and don't be a loner idiot".

Faux ends up being a weak character and a disappointing "Villain", which really kind of spoils a solid story.
Which was one of the only things the game had going for it other than being a modern Jet Set Radio Future Clone.

that FMV intro is even better than hot steamy gay sex and i can finally fully control my AC without obliterating my hands and left hand guns are finally super fucking good and the music is baller as always and there's a couple cool things happening in the story i guess and like the ending is pretty cool and interesting kinda and the revolution disc is a pretty cool love letter to gen 1 but maaaaaaaaaaaaan you are so limited by energy and heat in this game it's crazy!
boost heat was a mistake. also i wish the game actually told you how long a mission would stick around before disappearing because that shit's annoying. and i wish you could just play every single mission in free mission once you beat the game. you can't. kinda stinky. this was so close to peak Armored Core and they dropped the ball harder than i drop spicy fecal matter in the toilet after a trip to a high-quality mexican restaurant. still good tho

Fun. Smart. Creative. And a perfect archetypal structure. Persona. Shadow. Anima. Self. In that order.