Really good and unique 3D platformer, which is rarer than you think. It is also a metroidvania(!), which may sound like a slog in a 3D space, but is surprisingly tight once you become familiar with it.

The real sauce here is that wonderful movement. The air-kick wall rebounds may take some getting used to, but once you get to grips, everywhere feels accessible. Sequence breaking comes very naturally in this game, as you push to see what you can do with Siybl's movement, rather than wandering to find items.

Of course, some solutions do require powerups, and while there are only 10 major powerups, each one is a worthwhile addition to Siybl's moveset. What starts at awkward bumbling and air kicking, becomes suped-up bunny-hopping through levels. 3D platformers live or die by their feel and despite its amateur appearance, Pseudoregalia has the fluidity of an auteur.

Which is why it pains me so that Pseudoregalia remains a tad amateur and rough in places. Moment-to-moment gameplay is spotless, but menu UI is real rough looking and several cutscene moments lack audio queues or music. The game originally didn't launch with a map, and considering how much I used it, I think it's pretty important addition. The metroidvania design works for the most part, but there is certainly "dead space" with connection rooms that feel redundant. I do feel these can add to the non-linearity further, but it doesn't feel great to explore a new area to find it was just an alternate connecting path to another level. These things are so very minor that all it needs is a bit of spit and polish to be one of the most compelling titles of 2023. Which considering this was pratically a one-person-show of a game, I aquate to monstrously high praise, and I will certainly be buying their next game.

Oh and it's also got a goat-bunny-cat lady with a massive arse and tits.

A poisonous swamp that houses a haunted video poker machine.

Your task is simple, make the best poker hands you can. This involves a mixture of calculating probabilities and approximating luck, much like actual gambling. And with that comes the intoxicating nature of gambling, its drug-like qualities of unreal highs and unbearable lows.

The thick haze of the CTR filter, hypnotic soundtrack and psychadelic backdrops help keep eyes glued to the machine. And it is a machine that offers you no humanity. Instead there's nothing but clowns, harlequinns and jesters. The Kings, Queens and Jacks are faceless. Your opponents are represented by symbols, not little goober avatar guys. Your only company is the smiling faces of your synergy-supplying, number-juicing joker cards.

Play for a while, and you'll get that run. Your standard 52-card deck twisted beyond recognition, consistently delivering unthinkable hands. A thick line of jokers, all firing off to set your score to supernova. Aggressive mulligans for greedy first turn kills that flush your system with bittersweet dopamine. But the numbers keep scaling, reaching scores higher than grains of sand on earth. No matter how high you roll, the house always wins.

The run comes crashing down, with so little fanfare from the game. My focus pulls away from the machine, and to my clock. 3am. Past my bedtime. Again.

So I had played Pikmin 3, and I fondly remember it being fantastic. Pikmin is a very special genre that has to be played to be believed. A successful real time-strategy game played with a controller. That's also throwing in the least-chill mechanic of a strict time limit to everything you do. And it sounds stressful and awkward and demanding, but it's all somehow effortless and charming. This was apparent in Pikmin 3, and is oh so more raw and thrilling here.

The Pikmin sequels have offered expansion and innovation through an increased character roster. And yes, Pikmin 3's three protagonists do mean that gameplay is more active, resulting little less standing around watching Pikmin work and more wonderful micromanagement. But, with gaining two extra characters, the world of Pikmin 3 is more of an excursion with friends (the threat of running out of food aside, as giant juicy fruits are Pikmin 3's collectible btw).

Pikmin 1 on the other hand, Olimar is alone. It's just him and the Pikmin in this hostile alien landscape. Time always ticking away, a constant reminder of your finite time to save Olimar. He's got children, and priorities. He really doesn't want to die out here. Thirty days of life, and thirty pieces of the ship to collect. The math adds up, you can't help but feel a little anxious if you don't get a piece on a day. Then Olimar starts reasoning with himself that maybe he doesn't need it all. He reflects on family, on creature comforts, on his own humantiy. His only hope lies with, these joyous creatures, the Pikmin. These ever so shockingly mortal Pikmin.

You're gonna lose a lot of Pikmin. The pathfinding and user-friendliness of the Pikmin in Pikmin 3 is much better. I've not played it in over three years, yet I know it wasn't as bad as it can be in 1. But, I feel it works in Pikmin 1's favour. I can't help but enjoy how stupid the Pikmin can be sometimes. Getting caught on ledges, under bridges, slipping into the water. Olimar is one-part war general and one-part flusted geography teacher on a school trip. You march your soldiers into combat, and at least one of them will trip and fall into the water.

So, one criticism. Using bomb rock with Pikmin is finnicky as heck in this game, and considering the last boss needs you to use them... ...well, I finished the game with 41 Pikmin. I threw five entire platoons at the final boss. Sheer attrition and bodycount, rather than trying for any ingenuity. You likely need to use bombs to weaken him or something, but I just poured on the Pikmin til it collapsed...
And, for those who know what the final ship part is, will sure understand the bittersweetness I feel upon completion.

Pikmin 1 is excellent, a game that despite 3 sequels, still has its own merit, triumph and mood. A must play.

The grandaddy of rail shooters is back! His breath stinks, he's got no budget and he can't stop posting on Facebook.

While Yu Suzuki may never slide into my DMs, he certainly slid into the inbox of Queen-inspired Dutch musician Valensia. (Like for real, Yu Suzuki asked him if he'd like to soundtrack his new game over Facebook). Game is filled with over-indulgent rock opera nonsense and I can't help but love that nonsense. Whether or not it is quality music, I cannot say, but it's certainly memorable.

From a gameplay standpoint, Air Twister is by-the-books railshooting. Nothing that will particularly rock your world, but a steady and sure throwback to a niche genre. It's greatest success within this genre is ensuring its levels and worlds are bizarre and exciting. Rail shooters are often journeys through strange worlds, a visual treat of vistas, badlands and starry skies. With Air Twister, you will not be able to predict what happens next, each new level a surreal space concluding with some of the most freakish boss monsters I've seen in a long time. Game is a psychadelic trip, but from someone who smokes weed yet hasn't taken mushrooms.

Double-down on this with a progression system that reveals the games bizarrely deep lore and story (the skeleton dragons you fight in Level 2 are a father and his twin children. obviously), and you have a game that is certianly filled with a lot of reverence and passion. In spite of this passion, the game can feel a bit unfinished. A fast-forward button persists in cutscenes, some stages appear twice and as brilliant as that soundtrack is, songs get repeated, are sometimes in sync with the level and the whole thing can start to grate after repeated play sessions.

Air Twister is a labour of love. Yet, not the kind of serene romantic love you'd usually think of. This game is a big sloppy kiss from your smelly grandad, and you should be thankful for his love.

just finished 100%
it's good. err...
i wasnt a big fan of the final fight tbh
but other than that, it's really good. worth 100%ing too. thats getting everything, flagpoles too, mariofans.

i could divulge more, but its wasted breath. its a brand new spanking 2d mario game, free of any successor-to-a-DS-game baggage and full of courageous big brand energy bolstered by big-time blockbuster bucks. its chock-full of fun new ideas, but its best idea is it still being a video game from 1985. dont fix what aint broken, but also smash everything to pieces sometimes.

The Pokemon Trading Card Game is an incredibly loose game. There's so little to this game, other than fighting the hardest card game battlers and being the best. No real story, no stakes, no roadblocks. Just you, your deck and some people who think they are better than you. All situated on this tiny island of freaks obsessed with the Pokemon TCG.

And their obsession is infectious, as I too now love the Pokemon TCG. It's a very simple game, a card game that wears its luck on its sleeve. It can be frustrating at times, but it's also equally frustrating for the AI opponents too. Deckbuilding is somewhat limited, and I quickly discovered what the best cards were (Hitmonchan and Scyther btw) and creamed the game. But I still find myself firing this game up to try new strategies and make bad cards "good". It's aimless fun, which is card game video game at its best.

Huge credit has to be given to Hudson, who despite working with a game system they didn't design, for a franchise they had no part in, have made the most "real" Pokemon spin-off of all time. Reusing those Gen 1 sprites and making the game overworld control on a grid is a genius move, immediate familiarity. The soundtrack is joyous, every single character has their own unique portrait, the sprite remakes of the iconic Base-Fossil cards are spot-on and will engorge the millennial's nostalgia gland.

I never played this game as a child. If I did, I think it would be one of my favourite games of all time. Instead, playing it as an adult pokemon and card game fan, it is one of my new favourite games of all time. If you've ever had any interest in Pokemon, or any interest in card battlers, then Pokemon Trading Card Game is absolutely worth your time.

(you can also use the Nintendo Switch GameBoy Emulator to "rewind" booster packs to reroll them and get the cards you need/want. how I got so stacked pretty early on. also want to see if this thing has online multiplayer since that would be cool. there's probably some 100 user discord out there full of crazy card fiends battling each other that i hope to stumble across someday)

What an enjoyable tasty treat of a game this is. Ear-to-ear grin-tastic experience. Feeling like a number in a crowd amongst a bedlam of bumper cars from that initial start, to extreme elation of holding first place for even just a few sweet seconds.

Presentation is squeaky clean, with the charm of re-using all those lovely F-Zero comic book concept arts. The Rivals system fosters individual glory and there's just about enough tertiary content to chew through. With all the original tracks on their way (they're in the practice menu) there certainly will be more content coming to F-Zero 99. But I do hope we get some extra-sauce for the game, something to raise an eyebrow at. Like, some new race cars? While I appreciate keeping to the purity and balance of the SNES original, it would be more cool to see some later F-Zero vehicles adapted into sprite work.

It also succeeds in keeping your personal achievements relevant, showing where you placed among everyone driving the same car, silly profile customisation and the aforementioned rival system. I'm also a big fan of LUCKY BUMPER BONUS which allows you to disrupt others after you crash out for some delicious revenge racing.

I also need to give HUGE praise to the Grand Prix mode. While it may seem a tad off-putting that you need to earn "tickets" to enter these, and they are on a timed rotation these are absolutely worth extra playtime to experience. It should also help maintain a healthy player base said Design Lead of Long-term Player Engagement and Progression. 5 tracks, with an ever decreasing top cut. Only the final 20 get to see the whole thing through. Watching that start line grow thinner and thinner, as both the races and the racers become more intimate. Just to glimpse that final finish line feels wonderous.

Some people don't see loop-de-loops and cylindrical tracks, so may not recognise this form of F-Zero. The GX is a hardcore-freakcore pillar of the videogame canon, and rightly so. But my time with 99 has shown me that essence was as present in that original 1990 release, as it is throughout the small much-revered series. High octane risk-reward racing is F-Zero's absolute core, and F-Zero 99 provides all the thrills and chills to shock you to the core.

(and they wont take it down if you play it lol. real shame you cant queue up with friends too)

I wish this was the Street Fighter that was out when I tried to be good at Street Fighter. Unfortunately, the Street Fighter that was out when I tried to be good was Street Fighter 4.

14 years ago, Street Fighter 4 ruled, and still rules today. But it was also an unforgiving experience. A mean game that builds grit and passion. I couldn't do it.

14 years later, Street Fighter 6 is softer, compromising and stretches its arms wide to embrace all. A modern control scheme, removal of mash-button-attacks and a real single-player experience make this a landmark title in fighting game indoctrination. But deep down, behind its welcoming facade, is the same beast Street Fighter always was. And always will be.

14 years older, and I have not the strength to wrestle the beast. I'm glad to have tussled and thrown a few haymakers, but I'm out-paced, out-skilled, out-witted, out-of-breath and out-of-time.

The summer movie action blockbuster interpreted as a video game but the best one.

I also want to stress that "summer movie blockbuster video game" is not a dig or criticism, but an emblem of pride these Uncharted games should wear boldly and brazenly on their chest. It's all the thrill of a Indiana Jones, but you get to shoot the baddies, drive the car, do the stunts, solve the riddles. And not only that, but you get to be the camera and get to spend as much time in these luxurious unachievable Hollywood sets as you want.

The writers snuck letters into that set and they give you the time to parse handwriting, build identities for unseen characters and revel at weathered paper. The finely crafted ruinous locales of Uncharted 4 contain repeated jaw-dropping vistas which of course, are full of random trinkets in those sets so you can collect precursor orbs points to unlock cheats extras. And sometimes find optional dialogue and interactions to help flesh out its story and characters and world.

Like, you're watching Ocean's Eleven (2001), but you get to stop and walk around the casino, pick up some poker chips and look at the back of them and read the cocktail menu. And it's big head mode.

Why did I pick Ocean's Eleven (2001) as the point of comparison there? Because I think it is the last action movie film I saw, about 5 months ago. I haven't seen the other ones, or Mission Impossible. I think I saw Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift one time. I did like Indiana Jones a lot though.

Oh, and I've also not played Uncharted 1 or 3.

(Story of Uncharted 4 is pretty good btw, having only played the second one prior to this. Not much to chew on after, but it certainly has momentum and intrigue - keeps you wanting to play).

Summer movie blockbuster movies aren't my thing. But video games certainly are. And so, Uncharted is half my thing. And that half that is my thing elevates the other half that is less my thing. While I am in no rush to play the others, when the mood strikes that I want to play a big expensive AAA title, I shall plot my course for Uncharted.

(there is no big head mode btw).

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or i'll get around to playing the last of us, heard that one is pretty good. but i know its got zombies in it. there's absolutely gonna be a sneak past them section and I'm gonna get got repeatedly and it's gonna suck. and there will be more boxes to push to reach high places. indiana jones is cooler than the walking dead though, so i might actually play that spin off with elena. looks like it could be shorter too, which would great.

spoilers for uncharted 4 but why was that swordfight at the end so long? i died to it, got kinda bored leading to a sapping of my momentum so close to the ending.

Too stimulating to be tedious, but too bland to be engaging.

One of many "switch your brain off and chat with the lads" games, but a game that everyone's PC will be able to run. Though, this comes with the sacrifice of being able to see each others attacks and explosions, so you can't really show off to your friends while playing or comment on what each other is doing.

If you liked playing Borderlands with your friends, you'll get a kick out of it. A soft kick. More of a punt than a kick.

UPDATE
A toybox full of bootleg Chinese action figures

Downloaded a maxed out save file, cranked it up to max difficulty. Game is actually good now. Much bigger variety of weapons and power ups. Enemies also get these crazy Diablo prefix power ups and the game is happy to throw an absurd amount of goons at you.

The grind also really sucks, because "unlock permanent things" money can be spent to upgrade for just a run, so it feels like the game loves to tax that currency.

Fuck the grind. Cheaters never lose.

(oh, and i think you can see other players bullets and actions? idk, seems inconsistent? may also be a product of my super low graphics settings)

I love the League of Legends card game and I'm not afraid of what you think anymore.

It is one of the most mechanically interesting card games I have played. It rewards intelligent play, with a mana system that is less about playing to a curve and more about effective resource management. It is highly interactive, full of bluffs, blowout combos and strategic games of chicken. Sure, it has issues with power creep, stagnant metas and some frustrating decks. But that is part and parcel for card games. Runeterra's advantage is that problem cards can be errata'd and tweaked as necessary, rather than 6 months of the most broken piece of shit deck ruining your locals. (over a decade later and im still mad at dragon rulers. if you know, you know.)

And take this from a devout Yugioh, Dragonball, One Piece and MTG player - Riot Games have the best digital card game. It is very bold to not make watered down game for mobiles and your casual LoL fans. Games can take over 30 minutes and I love it.

However, if you're never been hooked on that cardboard crack, if you've never gone 0-6 at locals with your meme deck and if you've never stared your opponent right in the eye as you topdeck the perfect out - it's not a game for you.

It's certified cardfreakcore. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

(also, i played since release and i have most of the cards. getting into it now seems like a grind, no clue how they support new players. its pretty F2P friendly, but it could be more F2P friendly yknow?)

I gotta preface this review by saying I'm not a Final Fantasy fan. But despite that, for some reason I have played the first Final Fantasy (that PSP remake). I don't have a fondness for the series, but I certainly do have a distant respect.

What I do have a fondness for is the works of Team Ninja. They make some great action games over there, and Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin is one of those games. You liked Nioh? You're gonna love this one...

Class system, variety of weapons and combat styles, can change on the fly between these. Mages, ninjas, swordsmen, lancers, spellswords, pugilists. Yes. They all rock, and you'll play all of them due to a system that caps these out and encourages you to venture into other classes. While for some, this may be a frustration, "I can't play the class I want to play", encouraging variety stops this game from getting too stagnant, and even then, equipping two classes means you can just keep your favourite in your back-pocket. Oh, and it's got this super sick parry that steals attacks from enemies which let you cancel your specials into specials into attacks into specials into parries etc etc etc. Certified action-freak gaming.

The admirable thing Team Ninja have achieved here is making a action-freak game that non-action-freaks, like Final Fantasy-only gamers, can thoroughly enjoy. This comes down to your party, who can tank hits and help you out in fights. The big scary dragon is considerably less intimidating when you've got your buddies with you.

And what buddies they are. Stranger of Paradise's cast and story is one which absolutely knows what it is. A smaller budget, tie-in romp, to add absurdity and spectacle to an 80s RPG that pulls out all the high-fantasy stereotypes. Watching a crew-cut blonde dude with his shirt half untucked grunt at an overly regal giant-throne-sitting king, and then declaring that he's going to kill a hypothetical manifestation of a malicious concept is very special. Several scenes are sure to put smiles on faces, with a cast that I am confident will slowly grow on a player despite their shallow and awkward appearance.

That story hits you with a chaos-killing absurdity in it's opening chapter, becomes a bit bland in the middle, than ramps up to extreme silly for it's closing act. Which, considering it's a retelling of Final Fantasy 1, is pretty fitting. The real big payoff for me is the final cutscene of the game. I won't spoil it here of course, but it certainly is my favourite use of Frank Sinatra's My Way. And I've heard that song a lot.

Earlier, I asked if you liked Nioh. If you did, you probably have mixed feelings regarding that games loot and equipment system. Well, prepare to have those feelings mixed again, as Stranger of Paradise also features an overwhelming loot system. Enjoy the tedium of deciding if 10+ damage is worth the -5 armor. Enjoy the needless micromanagement of your gear as your inventory fills up. And after all that work, prepare to immediately find better gear in the next level!

You're given far too much loot. Loot that feels unimpactful. Loot that is tedious to sort. Loot you can upgrade, but to what end? I'm sure for the min-max gamers, this system works a treat, but I'd wager not even 1% of Stranger of Paradise's playerbase is interesting in farming for perfect gear.

I will say, a HUGE improvement to this system is giving class bonuses through armor, and then having those bonuses level up classes you don't have equipped. Like, don't want to play as the Thief? Wear all its gear and you can level it up as the Red Mage. Want to get an absurdly high intelligence stat and kill bosses in 4 fireballs? Stack up all that Mage gear. This side of the system does work, and is worth tinkering with. Or, just press "optimize". You're not going to get these cool bonuses or feel like you're building a character, but it saves so much time that this loot system is willing to waste.

So here's my fix Team Ninja. It's real simple. Less loot. More impactful loot. Make getting a new sword exciting, and make me ask interesting questions about how I want to build my character. If your armor and equipment screen has an "optimize" button, then why even bother with this system to begin with?

Wow, I sure did grumble about that loot and equipment system didn't I? I'd probably cut it all if I could "optimize" this review. So, to finalize and summarise:
play the red mage it owns.