I'm a big fan of SRPGs and games where you can recruit peasants so, naturally, I really enjoyed Legends of Eisenwald. In terms of gameplay the title is like a combination of HoM&M and Disciples so good things all around.
I particularly like how there are entire unit trees for every recruitable unit like in Mount & Blade, so even the most humble peasants can remain viable in the late game with the right upgrades and equipment.
The main campaign is pretty good too, although it can get a bit repetitive. Nevertheless I enjoyed the story, the game allows you to make some choices that are morally ambiguous at best. I liked that.

I'd say this is the best Winx Club game out there. The story's losely based on the first season and even uses some scenes from the tv show. It also has some neat artwork exclusive to this game and I feel like the people behind this actually put effort into this game. It also has full voice acting in various languages, which is a big plus imo. The graphics are pretty meh but it's fun to explore Alfea and the other schools. As a kid, I really enjoyed this game and played it again some years ago as an adult. Still a fun experience! Definitely doesn't deserve the current 2,3 stars rating.

I'm a big fan of Rocko's Modern Life, it was my favorite Nicktoon growing up and watching mild-mannered "only sane man" Rocko interact with the insane people of O-Town was a ton of fun, and as I grew older the show only aged better once I started understanding the stealthy adult humor that was absolutely EVERYWHERE in it. It's still crazy to me that the fast food chain "Chokey Chicken" survived three whole seasons before the censor people caught on. It's no wonder my dad loved watching this show with me.

When I heard there was a SNES game, I absolutely wanted to play it. But my local Hollywood Video never carried it, and by the time I heard of it my time with my SNES was completely dominated by Donkey Kong Country, and not too long after I'd be hysterically awaiting the Sega Saturn and PS1. So for a while the game kinda lingered a bit in my mind sometimes along with other games like Super Metroid, and it wasn't until I discovered emulation almost ten years later that I finally got to play them.

I played it finally and it was a side-scrolling platformer as I was expecting from the screenshots I saw on old websites back then, but as I was going around I got confused as to where the level exit was, and how weird it was that Rocko could just tank anything thrown at him like he's Wario. It wasn't until about a minute later that I figured out that Spunky has a health bar at the top of the screen, and that's when it hit me. This game is nothing but escort missions!!!

thunderclap and high-pitched shrieking heard in the background

Certainly not what I was hoping for! Admittingly, this game isn't even bad, but when it's the only Rocko game ever made you get very disappointed. It'd be like if the only Sailor Moon game ever made was the weird puzzle game on Super Famicom, or if Zoids only had one game and it was a boring business management simulator. It kinda sucks that I have to go "wow, I sure wish this game was generic 2D platformer number 712", but that's all I ever think about when I play it. Trying to guide Spunky to the golden hydrant in each stage just isn't really fun or something I'd want to play, and it's not helped by how poorly justified the entire gameplay is. Rocko can't just grab Spunky and take him to the hydrant himself? It's even worse, because you can actually temporarily pick up Spunky to turn him around, but he can't move him around because... Spunky licks him too much? It's incredibly suspect.

If you're into hybrid platformer/puzzle games with a lemmings-style objective maybe you'll enjoy it? But even then the game has so many boring waiting periods for Spunky's slow-ass and Rocko's movement and attacks aren't exactly top-notch or anything, so I doubt it's gonna impress.

Was most certainly not a hoot.

Masterpiece opening to a game.

This game is fucking AWESOME!

This is among my favorite tones for a game. Just the overall feel and concept is definitely me.

This game is so me that Nick made the EXACT same Punk'd joke that I make all the time. I had no idea.

Also, that one song from Tokyo Drift plays while you run up on the final boss, so that's an extra point.

"Whoa! Zombies suck dick at driving!"

I love the style and the overall gameplay. The way they've set up combos is obviously very neat, and the little segments with gameplay switch-ups are really nice.

But the camera can be pretty garbage at times, especially when you just start up the game for the first time in a while.

And the combat does get kind of clunky. The recovery time between combos is kind of ridiculous, and the fact that you can't exit out of those combos with a simple push of the dodge button.

But the style, and the era, and the dialogue and everything there just completely makes this game.

This game doesn't need a remake. At all. But after the remake, let's finally have a sequel that starts with Juliet and Nick going out to a cabin in the woods and then Nick gets bitten again and Juliet has to chop his head off again.

If a game doesn't have 'Lollipop' by The Chordettes playing on a loop in the items/upgrades menu, it's pretty much a flop.

"My favorite president is Warren G. Harding."

Ever since the Black Parade released to marvelous acclaim hitting Moddb’s mod of the year for 2023. I couldn’t help but ask myself “Is Thief good?” In an effort to see if the game holds up, I decided to start with the first installment before I inevitably reach the mod down the road. And I must say after 28 hours on expert difficulty. Thief Gold(Thief 1/T1) by Looking Glass Studio. Is a dark, thrilling, and fulfilling experience in reigniting all the checkmarks I like and love in the stealth realm. And I am glad to be back in the genre once again. From my days in Metal Gear, Syphon Filter & Old Assassin’s Creed.

Originally called Thief: The Dark Project. The gold edition adds three new missions to deepen the plot and five new enemies. Edited original missions with a slew of bug fixes. So this feels like a definitive edition. Although I did have to use several mods I’ll detail later on to bring the game up to modern standards.

The premise is simple and you control a single character Garret who is a master thief. With no special powers whatsoever. His days from being a homeless orphan were discarded long ago since he joined a secret order. Years later he leaves and decides to make it on his own. Delving into the path of thievery without remorse to fulfill his greed for money. He is ambitious, selfish, cynical, and an untraditional protagonist. All qualities I don’t like at all for a main character and yet by the time the end credits are rolling, I am very tempted to head right into the sequel to see what’s next in store for him.

Worldbuilding is subtle, dark, and strangely yet fittingly humorous at times. A mix of middle ages, dark fantasy, and on the cusp of an industrial revolution. With lore dropping from scrolls and conversations between guards during their breaks. Offering vital gossip on the citizenry, complaints of co-workers, and my personal favorite lore stories and convenient tips/hints that may connect to the main cast. A method to reach a previously unassailable location. Secrets will be revealed unintentionally and a good eavesdropper should without hesitation use it to their advantage to maximum effect. G-man will also monologue amongst himself and will at times drop interesting commentary during work. Usually comments like being dumbfounded or witty responses to abrupt changes in objectives. A nice change of pace from the otherwise silence permeating while you lurk in the shadows. Parchment readings and books offer insightful lessons and teachings from the factions of Hammerites and the Pagans. Both believe in their gods in a way bordering unhealthy zealotry and are at odds with one another. The supernatural elements took me by surprise many times. Spells, incantations, and rituals are fitting. Inducing a mystical wonder beyond the medieval. Zombies, ghosts, and malformed supernatural creatures are here to stay. Oh, and bugs like mutated spiders I didn’t think were a threat had me running away once I caught sight of them. Seriously, how can they jump so high and shoot acid!? Machinery such as factories, smelting tools, and items with a steady supply of lava provide their citizenry with new forms of artificial light instead of the traditional natural fire to illuminate surroundings. Creating an interesting level design throughout, a blend of medieval housing full of conventional bricks, wooden planks, and pavement with the power of adopting steel into the surroundings.

Quite ingenious for a stealth-based gameplay approach back in the old days. Erase approaches such as shooting from afar with guns or tasing anyone to oblivion. The game operates on a mission structure. Before a mission starts you are given a briefing of the events prior, a chance to buy equipment using gold earned from a prior mission, and a handy, but vague map. Embarking on a new place in the City at various times. Always looking forward to a new place to see the sights and steal whatever I can of course. Sometimes your goals will change during an operation. Good o’l no plan survives contact with the enemy is important to keep in mind. Therefore, caution is advised when conducting skullduggery. But hey Garrett has immensely useful tools to help. No stamina gauge when swinging weapons. Innate ability knocking a bow and arrows. The blackjack is easily the #1 most useful weapon. Capable of one-shotting nearly every enemy into blissful unconsciousness. They never get back up despite hours passing by too! You can move them into shadowed areas preventing patrols from encountering them and thus initiating an alarm at a whole base. Arrows dipped in fire, water, gas, and rope are likewise vital in completing a task. Blasting creatures with fire is like launching a missile capable of damaging multiple enemies. Water aids in dousing torches causing the light in room/s to darken and therefore allowing one mistah G to conduct his activities in better stealth mode than dressing up like an orange ninja from a shinobi world. Gas is powerful. No not fart ones, these kinds if launched correctly can take out groups of enemies into dreamland. Vital when being chased by a horde of angry guards…

Additionally, the rope arrow single-handedly changed my whole experience. Making me think outside the box. Reminds me of using the GLOO gun from Prey and applying the weapon to reach places I wouldn’t otherwise be allowed to exploit regular means. The cable, by comparison, allows one to hit any wooden surface dropping a decent length of string. Becoming instantly available for climbing. As a result, you can traverse higher elevations. Furthermore, one can retrieve their shaft if applicable to re-use once again making the tool highly versatile in nearly any sticky situation he’s subjected to. Trust me you’ll need it when you're at a rock and hard place with nearby zombies closing in on your position with nowhere to run except upon checking your surroundings a wooden beam is above. Maybe a handy tool would surely be useful now.

Level design in every assignment is intricate, maze-like, and deep. Displaying an awesome sleight of hand in the dev’s works to craft initially simple environments then suddenly catching me off-guard by transforming into a large several corridors and passageways leading a lost one into a room full of secrets. It is deep and chock full of hidden areas that can be unlocked from levers, switches, and cleverly tucked away corners. Intrinsically linked in the environment. Delivering a cool verticality and thorough ‘puzzle-like’ solving when applicable. The start of any new venture won’t be the same to some extent in the end portion upon completing all your objectives. You will see sprawling organized streets and then hit unfamiliar ruined suburbs and towns. Dive underwater and emerge in desolate gray caves emerging into a facility of machinery mixed with stone masonry. Similar, but different to how dungeons are made from a certain Zelda series. Full of traps, few floors, and twisting passages that can be confusing to any newcomer unused to the design. One of my favorites is encountering an awesome Pixar-like ‘room’ essentially allowing me to venture inside and somehow escape replicating a [T$%] Story-like design. Someone at Looking Glass has good taste being inspired by the 1995 film huh. And to think this was an optional target I could’ve missed. I. Am. Amazed. Sure the rest of the content isn’t filled to the brim with cool sets like those, but to a degree, they offer a unique hodgepodge of interesting locales to wonder and gawk at least. As a newcomer coming into the series I did not expect at all to admire the sheer size of these levels. Some are more subtle in ways before a certain fire nation attacked delving into the mysticism of earth, wind, and water extending the dev’s creativity to their utmost limit. The elements become more profound and are used intricately as I delve deeper into the endgame. Changing the propensity of manmade structures into natural habitats. Surfaces of the earth and elevating platforms in one section demonstrate the move from traditional simple human paths to complex passageways. Can be confusing at times, but hey remember! You have a handy compass and a map too! So all is not lost. A master thief enjoys establishing their path forward through balanced platforming and embracing the wonders of being lost in the thrill of discovery.

Hell the power to jump provides excellent mobility in areas and the level design pays off in spades demonstrating to great effect. For example, Imagine facing a fort with no possible entryway. Ok well, let me go around to see for any wooden roofs or beams. Voila, there is! Shooting a rope arrow then. I climb and then acrobat onto the rampart. But wait, the door is locked inside! Hmm. The new plan is to head to another rooftop and get inside from there. I climb to the nearest rampart point then give myself a boost and ledge grab my way onto my destination. Successfully entering with no one aware. The ledge grab is super satisfying to enact every time. Although I quickly save before I launch myself just in case I fail. Yet holding the jump button is easy to maneuver and painless to execute.

Almost delving into the point of frustration at times, yet never truly becoming mad to the nth degree I wanted to throw my controller. Perhaps due to the save at anytime system in place making retries quick and painless. It is a relief to operate an easy system to retry failed attempts since most levels are so large. Not an open world at all. Garrett conducts most of his missions at different new locations within the metropolis, which we can explore without a time limit. And there’s always something new to look forward to. I ventured into a manor to steal a scepter. Dived into the pits below to enter hidden caverns and reach a prison facility. Sought treasure in abandoned ruins, boldly stole a precious item between two thieves' guilds, and enacted revenge on a rich dude who tried to assassinate me. Seriously the gall of that guy.

Sound design is brilliant, harsh, intense, and fair. And this is weird. Usually, I praise the heck out of the soundtrack, and while it is good. In Thief I found it more enjoyable to analyze how the gameplay and level design work in tandem with the soundscape. Each step you take and every breath you make is calculated. Go on the steel floor versus carpet and rugs and you can see the clear difference upon nearby patrols. Rugs and carpets muffle your steps while treading on steel produces loud noises capable of making any close enemy's senses go on alert. Any action like swinging your sword, launching an arrow, or even bringing out blackjack to play whack a guard heightens an enemy's awareness. G-dude will exhale after an action and it's gotten to a point where I hold my breath whenever I have a close encounter. Exhaling once the coast is clear. Sights and sounds are interconnected. If you’re in a very dark area, chances are you become neigh invisible compared to a brightly lit room. Staying in the shadows like a sneaky fella pays off. And thankfully, you can stay in a crouched position than a normal pose to conduct your sneaky endeavors. Harsh, but I kid you not I repeatedly felt it was balanced throughout at no point during my time did I feel it was brutally unfair at all times. Rather the usage of noise in this instance facilitates between easy to hard and complex as you dive deeper into the latter stages. As if the devs are saying “Hey, we are increasing the difficulty gradually, no steep cliffs or curveballs.” And I like it. Keeps things fresh and exciting to uncover new hurdles. Supernatural entities like zombies and spirits have this ghastly voice. I found myself with chills crawling up my back. And goodness the regular harmless citizen will shout for help to call attention to your current position. Tension is alive. Stress remains an ever-constant companion when pursued, and patience is needed every day for every hour.

Lastly, I also want to praise the main objectives of missions and AI. The latter for being smart and dumb. Patrols once memorize their route and what their limit is. Abusing their ai becomes rinse and repeat and oh so satisfying. Never waking up after becoming unconscious. Some enemies of different classifications will vary in their sight and danger capability. I.E. Seeing farther and more acutely aware of their surroundings than the usual shmuck of a guard with base intelligence. Think of them as elite guards who have an intruder radar built in updated to version 2.0 than the base version. Hearing better on how loud footsteps are near along with acute 20/20 vision if close in line in sight. This is fascinating and as I progressed deeper into the game, proved once again the devs are challenging me to be better. Goals likewise increase in complexity. You have standard, hard, and expert. Differs from traditional modifiers of upping the enemy's health I usually see in other games. Their parameters increase meaning more tasks to do. A 'normal' setting would indicate one or two retrieve an item and escape. 'Hard' adds a couple more like finding another item in conjunction with the main goal. Expert unleashes a full page of tasks to do. From not killing anyone, finding multiple items, checking with a friend of yours, and attaining a set amount of money all while completing the main quest and escaping to boot. Here are several examples of differences in difficulty. Insane. Furthermore, as I continued with 'expert' on all missions, they largely increased my time in a level due to how large they can be. I usually spent an hour or two depending on the size. Only occurred on max settings. If you try the standard option you can breeze through levels much faster. The addition of higher parameters causes an interesting shift to occur for the player. Thus I had to explore as much as possible, find hidden secrets, embrace the longer plans, being meticulous to survive and not incur any of the killings. The game is much easier killing anyone you come across. But a master thief should never kill. Only retrieve what was ordered and then get out without a fuss.

Time for my mixed feelings. Not a positive or a negative. Just some points from the game I think could be improved, tweaked for the better, and concerns I had. Didn’t affect my overall experience in a major manner.

First, same old, same old textures - Once I saw gray walls, gray bricks, stone pavement, same dirt in more than half of the missions, and frequent density in the latter stages it all became blurred together. Brought up with the maze-like corridors. I felt myself seeing the familiar paths without end. You don’t have a minimap either except a paper map that will vaguely pinpoint where you are. Therefore I had major deja vu. “Haven’t I been here before?” Thankfully, this isn’t egregious and the level variety for what it’s worth elevates everything else. Making it not so noticeable to see constantly. Makes me wonder if the sequel shakes things up a bit with colorful terrain when appropriate. I’m not asking for a rainbow from the color spectrum, merely suggesting slightly distinct patterns.

Second, Some objectives can be a bit vague to find. Like Mission 3. To retrieve the soul of the mystic required me to check everywhere and refer to my papyrus notes for hints and clues. Further, targets or items are not given exact instructions sometimes. Up to you to piece things together. Granted I personally like the non-approach to hand-holding, but some of these goals can be a real head scratcher. If you don’t come across hints and clues, eavesdropping a guard or finding a key to unlock another passageway or door is often the right path forward. Gentle reminder to explore thoroughly. Or use a guide when needed.

Third, May need a tool like a fire, water, or rope arrow to progress. While not required for every assignment. The wire is invaluable and shouldn't be utilized every so often at every opportunity. Elementals to a lesser degree, but still keep them in stock. Most of your inventory is consumables. And while you can find new ammo during a heist, it is best to at least save a decent amount. For situations when you require them. Sucks to use up all of your stock for minor loot grabbed when they may be needed for a critical venture.

Fourth, Wish some missions had health potions available close by. They’re pretty scarce in a job. Some later missions they in my opinion feel needed to help progress rather than me forcing a quicksave and quickload. Saving my health. Enemies can swarm you if you’re not careful and having more health is better than being one-shot. G-guy isn’t some deadliest warrior. So don’t think you can expertly assassinate any bloke. Keep in mind, I played on expert which usually required no bloodshed. Lowering settings offers no restrictions to eliminating anyone.

Fifth, Controls can take some getting used to. I tried keyboard and mouse and found the initial impression cumbersome so I switched to a controller setup and found it far better. Only had to input a couple more keybinds manually and I was fit as a fiddle to steal! Borrow items. I suggest changing them if you feel weird handling your main character.

Sixth, due to the title being more than two decades old I highly recommend some of these mods I installed to grant an enhanced vanilla experience. Most you can find via a respective PC gaming wiki article. I did use a faithful texture pack. Not the popular one. Feel they change the original textures too much. I’ll leave the choice of what pack to choose up to you. I prefer Enhancement Pack 2.0 alpha.

Mods:

Unofficial patch for Thief 1/Gold - “improves compatibility with new pcs significantly, fixes graphic issues, adds support for widescreen resolutions and much more.”

Texture pack - “Replace all the old, low-quality objects and textures from Thief 1 and 2 with versions that have higher polygon counts and texture resolutions, while keeping as close to the originals as possible.” - This is the hardest mod to install. For some reason, the directions given resulted in half of the textures being improperly replaced. Displaying half high quality and half low quality. Inside you need to edit an ini file to put in the correct mod_path. Here is what I had that finally got everything to work. Hope it works for everyone else. If not, your mileage might vary.

mod_path usermods+mods\packfix+mods\candles+mods\EP\Thief1+NecroAge\Thief1+NecroAge+EP2\Thief1+EP2+mods+mods\t2skies+mods\EP+FMdml

Take a screenshot before the mod is installed and after to see if everything worked out. The rest of the mods I didn't have any trouble inputting.

Subtitles - Self-explanatory. In-game there is no option for subs. With this mod, you can read the spoken dialogue instead of straining your ears.

Sound Enhancement Pack - Makes all sound enhanced and not muddled. Providing clearer audio in both speech and sfx.

60 FPS Video Pack - Original videos are in a low resolution. With the video pack, all the videos are replaced with higher framerate and resolution.

Aside from minor tinkering to get the game up to speed and my barely noticeable mixed feelings. Thief shines when unconventional level design meets strong simple foundations in the gameplay to accentuate and enhance both categories. At its worst players(maybe newbies) may have difficulty in grasping the maze-like paths to reaching their objectives along with vague to almost obscure hints to their solutions(not always, uncommon I think). More so on increasing levels of difficulty than normal I feel. The central narrative I expected to be boring. And in turn I was mentally preparing myself for underwhelming. So to my delight, I was extremely glad to be wrong and found myself beset with a decent narrative and ultimately a likable protagonist.

Finally reaching the end of my trail I found Thief Gold impressed me to a degree I can’t stop thinking constantly about the missions inside. I adore it so much I had to hold off on playing the rest of the series so I won’t get burned out if I continue to run-non-stop at every entry. Filled with lengthy missions depending on difficulty and fair gameplay mechanics to tackle in whatever and however manner you so choose. A freedom in gameplay philosophy I love! And honestly its given me more thought to level design in general and the approach of AI to objectives. I encourage anyone to give it a shot. Especially those who love Stealth or dipping their toes into the genre. For those curious about this old title, it still holds up quite well. Especially if you installed mods to bring it up to modern standards. And hey here’s one tidbit I found fascinating. Turns out Ken Levine worked on Thief along with Warren Spector. These guys would ultimately father some well-known titles down the road. Pretty insightful stuff. I bet we're in for Shocking Examples down the road.

8.5/10

References & Additional Material:
Thief Black Parade Mod
Different Examples of Difficulty
Thief 1 Credits
Mods - Thief PC gaming wiki - Thief 1/Gold Unofficial patch - Sound Enhancement Pack - 60 FPS Video Pack - Texture pack
Subtitles

Edited: 4-3-24 - Small correction on Blackjack use. From human to nearly every enemy. Thanks to @blackcat for the correction! After the small edit. 99% of review still intact.

Haha April fools you got PRANKED LMFAFAOAOAOOOAOAOOAOAO! Sex is FUNNY! WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?!?!?!

Genuine spoiler warning; Play this game first before reading this review. You'll enjoy this little look at the game a bit more if you do. I actually recommend the game, but for a different reason than you may think.


Does anyone seriously find joy in this holiday? Whatever; anyways. Cave Story Sex RPG 2007, released in circa 2007 based on the title! Right off the bat, saving apparently soft locked my game??? You can tell where this is going already, can't you? Also the music doesn’t loop properly, as I found out while typing this review. Aaaand that’s it. You're stuck in this room for the rest of your life. Well, that was short! Damn shame, Bagenzo. I'm not sure if the reviews on this game are trolling or what, because I genuinely cannot progress as far as I know. A shame, but oh well, the game was a minute long. It might've been a test or something.








Okay, upon further key spamming, I found out if you press S you can progress! The game calls you a dweeb for stealing Chako’s lipstick (from the original game) and then tells you to sleep. And then someone (presumably Curly? I can't tell) talks about the Mimigma. Then you go to the PC, and then the books tell you this character’s past, and it’s genuinely deep shit??? I’m not even joking, it talks about why the creator stopped making games, and even their family. And it somewhat speaks to me as someone who makes reviews almost daily, and some of the annoyances that come with content creation in general. It talks about how robots cannot be changed (which I'll get into later). But it eventually ends, and you go to the bed to remove water from Curly. And then finally, the game reflects on the main character’s life before the game loops indefinitely.

Okay, that was shockingly deep despite the game’s title. But there's something I think the game is trying to tell us, and I'll try and piece it all together (this is 100% an unironic section, there's no jokes here). First, some of the tags on the itch.io page hints towards the overall message. “LGBT”? More specifically, “Transgender”? While I am a cisgender male myself, what I am as is Bisexual as fuck, so I'm still involved in the LGBT community to some extent. And based on what I do know about being transgender (although I did consider myself non-binary midway through 2021), I'll try to provide my best understanding of the story. First off, most of the story is told in retrospective; referencing the character’s past experiences with Cave Story (the game). This is the character’s former identity, as a cisgender person, likely in 2007 based on the title. Talking about the games they made in the past, they also talk about family. I believe this character is a creator inspired by Cave Story, with numerous ideas that ended up fruitless, with close family that is touchy to the character in the present. The character's current identity is transgender, evidenced by both the game’s tags, as well as the description, with the line “Reassignment to Pretty Girl”. Additionally, on the topic of the family mentioned in the game, I believe that the main character's family was unsupportive of their transition, which is not uncommon for trans experiences. After further researching Bagenzo’s website linked on their itch.io profile, the bottom of their page denotes that they are transgender. So this might also be a self biography of the creator themselves. I was genuinely not expecting that from a game dubbed “Cave Story Sex RPG 2007”.

Okay, I unironically recommend this game. This is a quick little biography of a Creator's life, and I didn't want to knock it too much, nor tell too many jokes, because I felt like it would be in poor taste. If I got anything wrong in my story analysis, feel free to correct me as once again, I am not Trans. But yeah, I wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much in retrospect. If I had to give a score… uhhhhhh… none! Once again, I don't want to knock it too much. Could've explained the controls (how the fuck do I not know how to advance in a visual novel?), but it's whatever. I enjoyed it a bit.

Out of all the WRPGs (western RPGs), I've played thus far. Pathfinder: Kingmaker(PK) is without a doubt the most complex and rich in nearly every category I long for in the genre. And to Owlcat’s credit, the Kickstarter backed CRPG almost achieved full marks. Multiplex of systems, deep mechanics, extensive kingdom-building, matched by a fascinating world-building and filled with memorable characters. A long story, featuring multiple endings. Real-time with pause combat. Dense fantasy single-player title in an isometric perspective. And yet I can’t help but find the whole experience of clearing everything possible in over 130 hours a double-edged sword. Full of sharp awesome content. Yet underneath lies a blunt edge full of troubling matters. Alexander Mishulin, Creative Director at Owlcat Games eloquently sums up the matter in an 2020 interview saying “...Huge Pathfinder system ruleset was left tricky and unclear in many ways for the new players unfamiliar with the tabletop game.”

The IP is incredibly different from what I dabbled in Baldur's Gate 1 last year. And the old Fallout titles. Feels a lot more in-depth not just in terms of pen-and-paper, but in different rules and how the mechanics are implemented by Owlcat on Paizo’s ruleset. I’ll run through the positives first before I dive into my mixed feelings. Full disclosure: I played 100 hours without mods before relying on them to end credits. I’ll denote a mod section properly later on, but if I don’t discuss it please assume I'm discussing vanilla.

Storywise I found to be a slow-burn. But ultimately an enjoyable affair. You start in a competition for the rights to become baron/baroness of the Stolen Lands. A large swath of unclaimed land with no leader. Think bandit territory except fantasied to the gills. Crypts and hidden tombs full of nocturnal creatures sinisterly lurk. Local settlements are plagued by monster attacks and the occasional banditry. Fill your wanderlust and discover ancient ruins and dungeons! Full of traps, puzzles, and of course great treasure awaits! But take care, whimsical fey beings roam here and there so beware! For better or worse, depending on your choices in dialogue you may come across interesting outcomes. Discover a key piece and be led to a hidden location out on the world map! Or used in a way to uncover another hidden check. Where the locals and monsters alike will be found in all manners of the noble to villainy spectrum. Take heart, for finding a true pure soul in such a hostile place may seem dangerous! Yet behold! Beyond the borders lie a people still living brightly and drinking merrily in taverns. Singing to their heart's content without end!

Before I sing on further, I must talk about the initial priorities after becoming Baron/Baroness. Consists of the gameplay overview without combat. A gentle reminder, to not go gallivanting off into the wilderness following the wanderlust compass. Rather, one must remember to research curses. Curses are something unexplainable and mysterious occurring within your lands. And it is up to you to research why. There are more than 13+ of these curse events that need to be resolved as you progress through the game's many acts. All of which contain a time limit to complete under “xxx’ day. Doing so is one of the key requirements to unlocking a secret ending and progressing through the main story conveniently. Refrain from doing so and the consequences will be severe. I didn’t have much issue with deadlines. Bona fide lenient as long as you prioritize what to do. A general loop emerges: Enter building management -> research curses, solve problems, assign advisors, resolve advisor concerns, construct structures in settlements, invest in building points(BP) or use them for erecting structures or helping pass a bill using BP. Finished? Good, we're not done. -> Check the journal to see any main quests. Usually, one or two pop-ups and its a number one priority to complete. -> Once finished then you're allowed to finish any sides and errands. Followed by companion quests -> If you have any days left on the clock. Explore the map, discover new dungeons, finish off random mobs trying to kill you while traveling, and unearthing loot by turning over rocks and crannies you see are all worthy endeavors. The priorities may seem daunting at first, but I assure you have ample weeks to months. In finishing any important tasks before moving on to the rest. Generally, Traveling around and researching will consume most of your precious days. However, there are certain ways to mitigate any losses later on. I’ll include some links later on for extra tips.

Plethora of classes to choose from and upgrade. More than fifteen main jobs. And several archetypes within. A barbarian, for instance, specializes in an armored hulk, mad dog, or invulnerable rager. A cleric branches off into a herald caller, ecclesitheurge, and crusader. All with their unique powers and skills offered. I stayed as a paladin and found it decent. My primary joy came from the multiple allies who joined my merry band. Swapping into a different profession if inclined, but I kept them as their base class to see how it feels to use them. At the end of the day, I concluded they’re fun to use. One serves as a tank such as my tower shield specialist while my inquisitor summons undead to serve as handy meatshields. My bard’s songs randomly stun my enemies. I and my barbarian cleaned up! Rinse and repeat and voila! Dead guys in the aftermath. Granted not all encounters will not go as smoothly as one would think. Plenty of surprises await in store for any curious adventurer.

Should be noted there are special prestige classes. Several are not selectable at the character creation. As you progress and meet certain requirements they become available as your second class. I’ll be honest with the exception of the Wildcard DLC. I was not able to use any of these prestige ones. As a result, I am unable to comment on them other than some being powerful and others meh from what I skimmed online. Overall essential in understanding classes, since comprehending their capabilities will mark triumph and despair concerning the combat portion.

I mainly used real-time with pause(RtwP) mode. For those unaware, in CRPG's this means each action your party makes is conducted at the same wavelength against the opposing enemy side. Casting spells takes seconds before casting but attacking is ongoing when not in cooldown. Trading blows until one side is gone. For those uninterested in RtwP. Owlcat implemented a turn-based(TB) method. Activatable anytime with a single press of a button. Initially, a mod early, the devs decided to add it for those not enthused in the RtwP approach. As someone who favors turn-based. I have to say the move was pretty based. But I couldn’t stand doing TB for every fight encounter. My entire playthrough would’ve easily doubled or tripled. But the inclusion of the mechanic later on after release I appreciate a great deal especially if I get tired of RtwP. Convenient when needed.

In my honest opinion, an enjoyable isometric gameplay emerges. Regarding the many systems at play. Battles are somewhat challenging relying on your crew's profession. For instance, if you improperly manage equipment, health items, and proper class understanding then you may be in for a life of hurt when confronting multiple foes in a large open area filled with scattered mobs. I struggled early on since I had zero Pathfinder exposure. Meaning I rushed into things without thinking, quick-saved like my life was about to expire. To make sure I gained a favorable outcome and spammed abilities like a madlad. Kindly erase those foolish ‘jump before thinking’ mentality and realize no one will hold your hand gently. Despite a wealth of options available to reduce difficulty which I will talk about later on. Look at my character and witness how one tab from the summary may induce information overload. What is AC? Fortitude? Reflex? Will? The difference between wisdom and intelligence. Knowledge arcana/world? lore/nature? Sounds rubbish, who needs these skills? Alignment? Bah, who cares. Well, my friend I do! A great deal since you must understand a sizable chunk to succeed. I won’t go into complete minute details, but suffice it to say each terminology is important to survive. Basic stereotypes do exist though, so no need to worry! A mage is squishy early on, but a glass cannon. Ranger and barbarian are viable builds and hybrid classes are available for those who wish to slot into a job outside of the standard ones.

Have no fear of the daunting Pathfinder homework ahead! I did only the bare minimum cause I wanted to get straight into the thick of things and still managed fairly well. Here’s a secret that has never failed me when playing any CRPG. Buffing/debuffing/summoning is honestly the bread and butter. And will undoubtedly your life easier. Without any of those above, I would not be able to win against my adversaries. Helped me so much to the point I spent over 100 hours buffing in less than a minute before engagements. In the blink of an eye. Yeah, I'm not kidding about those buffs. Crucial in starting up a massive advantage before striking any foe ahead. Summon any pets, skeletons, elementals, or animals at your side ahead of any battle so attackers will be dumb dumbs and attack them foolishly. As if they are the priority. Debuffing is equally important. Any Atlus JRPG fan should know from Megami Tensei how skills like reducing enemy power, missing an attack, freezing them, and whatever manner of debuffs to inflict. Will turn the tides in your favor. The same principle applies here. Min-maxers like myself who love adjusting little morsels of numbers are in for a real treat. Countless loot is around, as a result, I never had an issue strengthening my characters and applying any spells to their repertoire. No requirements to micromanage level-ups either. If checked in the menu. And since I started from beginning to end credits with the preference on. You are in good safe hands. An indispensable accessibility feature reduces the steep cliff into a more manageable one for newcomers to the series.

Do keep this in mind. It's inadvisable to spamming spells and abilities without a drawback. The consequence of using magical abilities means the 'charge' will be used up. Mana is unavailable. Instead, your party will have a certain amount of ‘charges’ so to speak on how many times to reuse a magick discipline. A basic 'fireball' for example may have one charge. In spite of that, within the magic system for some classes, possible to increase multiple slots. Consequently granting more amounts. Area of effect, cones, and single targets, bouncing are all attainable parameters, so watch out not to hurt your allies. Lest you need to revive them after the battle ends. After an engagement with an enemy, a non-combative status will occur for all. Any damages and spells used along with health will not return to their original condition. This means every skirmish with a mob will leave you bleeding. Continue fighting and sooner or later the effect of 'fatigue' will emerge. A debuff handicapping with horrible stats. Go further and you may become exhausted incurring further penalties. To counter a weakened state, one 'rest' is recommended, and rations to heal back to 100%. Be warned you may be ambushed by nearby hostiles. It's these little things that pile up later on when you expect a benefit there must always be a drawback in some form. Not much of an issue provided players remember to buy rations and set their PC to scavenge for rations out in the wild.

In the wilds and civilizations players will need to contend with the text and dialogue system. You will inevitably conduct a wide array of meaningful conversations. For instance, talking yields a host of options. Both are informative to educate, pushing to the next segment in a quest, moving the conversation forward with lore passages highlighting key information whenever you need, and taking a gamble in stat-oriented discourse to affect an outcome. Crucial to give context to the rich history in Pathfinder where putting the mouse cursor will describe any bolded phrase. Appropriately connecting any relevant lore with anyone. Where paragraphs on gods, nations, political figures, religion, etc. will be described when highlighted. Hearing a disgruntled futilist dwarf talk about the impending doom of the end of days from the god Grotis transforms otherwise static boring sentences into flavorful dynamic words to remember and an “Ahah!” moment arises. Stumble upon reading a book about certain dangerous religions only to learn later about a crazy cult related to said religion. You will inevitably come up with many of these examples. Nevertheless, conversations are susceptible to stats; you have to needle your way through unique text. Granting extra experience and new conversational topics to discuss with whomever you meet. Such a deeply intricate word system is only part of the whole gameplay pie to understand why I adore talking to my party to understand their backstory, relationships, and history and develop them further with their quest lines down the road.

Under these circumstances, the world-building is richly implemented and flourishes through meaningful lines as I meandered my way to talk to important NPCs whenever I traveled. Be it a villain, an unsuspecting stranger, or an upstanding citizen of the realm. All are not spared my inquisitive nature to converse! In my delight, speaking yields both favorable and unfavorable outcomes concerning a dice roll. Meet the stat check to enable the dialogue requirement, but plausible still failing the result. Meaning my goals for a peaceful resolution between two angry interracial groups could be thrown into the fire. Erupting a bloody feud betwixt two leaves me no choice but to eliminate both or take one side. Invigorating my soul and leaving me contemplative to carefully consider a circumspect approach. Take information with the grainiest of salts and don’t label everything in simple good or evil manners. Difficult to judge whether the NPC is acting in the best interest at your behest while secretly holding a dagger behind their back unknowingly to your eyes. As a result, Non-conflict encounters are unique here, where fights interrupted are an uncommon occurrence with a conversation box, hearing their plea and moving on from there. I’ve had the personal pleasure of converting evil dastards onto my side while subjecting good souls to betrayal. Interconnecting later on in a future side-mission or main narrative where your previous actions will have a consequence later on. I befuddled a group and investigated a murder or caused mayhem on the populace by lying to whomever. Offered a mysterious item I picked up just for this occasion. Bribed, persuaded, intimidated, or sought further lore knowledge. No one is spared from my decisions and I lived with the consequences of my actions.

If there is one notable strength here in PK then companions here are a breath of fresh air. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. Recruit all eleven comrades, plus two more from the Wildcards DLC. A wonderful motley crew full of contradictions and wild alignments from chaotic to lawful and those staying in the realm of neutrality. I adore my party's banter. Sharing wonderful stories and barbs anytime I rest. And their voice actors deserve only praise for going the distance. Seeing their background update during a loading screen is a small, but appreciative detail. As I progressed further in their questline. From the loveable optimistic bard who never fails to brighten the room, the tough barbarian exile who continues to thirst for a challenge, the curious explorer alchemist who underneath their arrogant exterior lies a heart of gold, the noble tower specialist who continues to make each stranger drop their jaw in awe at her beauty. The chaotic duo of eldritch scion and rogue wizard lent their bond to my group despite their horrible past. A stoic tragic ranger avenger, a dwarven futilist cleric, a goblin knife master, and others I could list but I'll save them for a surprise… Needless to say, all have a colorful history beyond simple tropes and evolve constantly throughout my journey. I won’t say any favorites since I like all of them equally, instead, I will remark my allies' goals are a must-play and some intertwine with the main story at length. Providing a nice integration into the story and commenting during side activities on their thoughts, feelings, and alignment. Your actions will favor or dislike you. Therefore, it's essential to think carefully about their beliefs, morals, and alignment to adjust your response accordingly relative to the situation. Complex and not one-sided, and not all that hard to keep with you by when the end credits rolled around. Heck, I operated a solid crew of five. With changes in the guard whenever any relative friend's objectives arrived. Some benefit from putting any relative members in a relatable matter for instance. Otherwise, serving an appropriate role in another area below.

Kingdom building surprised me a great deal. There are plenty of systems in place here to almost make me wish for a separate game to play exclusively. Heck, employing any of your companions as advisors who will approach you about a delicate matter related to any of the stats concerning your authority. Population, relation, military, culture, divine, loyalty, arcane, stability, espionage, and community. Accepting a new policy, rejecting or fashioning a unique dialogue choice conditional on the advisor’s characteristics. I was able to increase the guardsmen with more men and budget instead of leaving them to their whits. Fought espionage wars with another neighboring nation by honoring our dead spies than risking their status. Favored culture of the arts and freedom to use magic freely and threw away the bill restricting their passion. And so forth. Completing these requests and listening to my advisors leads to benefits and detriments. So take heed of your colleague's advice and choose the best course of action. In doing so you manage your domain from impending self-destruction. Be careless and your citizenry will revolt. Therefore, it is imperative for one to finish any dilemmas arising in priority rather than any opportunity points. Issues if not solved, worsen stats, so pray to RNGSUS you land on a good dice roll to resolve the conflict peacefully. Or quickload like me hehe. Opportunities are okay to ignore, but for those who decide to try them the rewards are equally as good as solving problems. Don’t worry about taking care of your vassals constantly, a timer will run on when resolved and a notification will pop up for any impending event.

An option to automate your kingdom exists, but I still suggest that folks embrace the system to get a feel of managing affairs in your nation while also investing your precious days. Pays dividends later on in the form of passives and supplementary items. The latter leads you to new objectives and random encounters providing free equipment through artisans(Specialists who join your nation, when you visit your new settlement when claiming a region), and investing in your crown pays dividends later on to grant permanent buffs like increased attack roll chances, immunity to fear, and faster movement when traveling and more. Constructing mage towers(unlockable once you level up an advisor's ranks) allows one to teleport with minimal downtime creating a genuine saver for those urgent investigations in your journal. Aside from leveling your partners in combat and dialogue, you advance their rank in their advisory role to have a better chance to resolve troubles and opportunities. Useful when RNGSUS will sway to your lucky side rather than the unlucky side.

Decent-to-quality sidequests and errands are plentiful and ultimately awesome to complete. Enhanced my experience during my adventures. Here is a small taste of what I encountered. Uncovering a dark mega villain through a long monster extermination hunt Mediated between fey beings on trees and preached to no end on civility, peace, and compromise during heated debates and mob pitchforks. Hunted weird cultics from weird satanic ones to disturbing groups with their nefarious agenda preying on helpless innocents like a pregnant woman in need delivering her baby for a price. Oh hell no. I saved her thankfully, but whether or not it was a good thing in the end leaves me still troubled. Engaged in a puzzle to resurrect a powerful, but evil ghost for sick armor and weapons. Participated in treasure hunts, fought bandits holding hostages, saved mythical creatures like dragons, and found a boy who cried wolf-like investigation whose outcome was vastly different from what I expected. Returned a Necronomicon-like book to a powerful hermit in the lands and traveled to other realms to investigate curses to reach and attain the absurdly difficult secret ending. Heck, I took advantage of alignment choices to brutally reach a good outcome. Nonetheless, I still time-traveled into alternate universes. By reloading to recruit horrible fellows into my cabinet. Yeah, I’m not proud of that at all…

Anyway, mod time. Earlier I mentioned I played vanilla for 100 hours. Once I reached that point I decided enough was enough and threw away the base content life. And subsequently enjoyed in greater detail the latter half to an insane degree with much-needed quality-of-life features. Below I’ll briefly outline some must-haves for anyone on PC.

Mod manager - Number one key ingredient for all kingmaker needs and easy to install any of the following to make your playthrough fun and eliminate the tedium.

Bag of Tricks - Solve 99% of any troubles you face. From side quests not occurring, to fixing a bug here and there. And to be fair I had very little bugs or crashes. I think outside of a handful of minor bugs my playthrough was nearly perfect. My convenient tricks were instant teleporting on the world map, instant rest + after fighting, instant auto-complete realm events, lock-picking unlimited attempts, force success/triumph on problems and opportunities, pass skill checks, and my personal favorite a romance counter which is crucial for the secret ending. Trust me. If you want the bonus act to activate I recommend it. These listed are my favorites from the mod, but there’s way more inside I never used.

Faster menu book zoom - When you launch the program, it takes a long eternity for the book which contains the standard menu options to proceed. Do yourself a favor and download them to save you extra. Adding in the command line ‘-skip intro’ from the program launcher when right-clicking the properties on Steam is beneficial too.

Buffbot - Takes less than a second to activate all the buffs you currently have. A necessary alternative than taking a minute to individually select each member and buff them to the nth degree I said previously. Use Buffbot once and be done.

Aside from the mods above. You have a wealth of selections to tune the difficulty to your liking. From the image I customized the normal settings, making encounters less of a chore and more on the easier side. Restricting to the confines of vanilla as much as possible. So I recommend tuning them to your preference.

Now then for my mixed feelings. Consider the following text as small to big red flags in varying degrees. I feel are worth noting down. I had to trim this a bit since this review is getting too long and I apologize for that.

Kingdom Building is a mixed bag. I love the aspect of erecting settlements and determining the kinds of architecture. However the ‘time-limit’ before the next act and what to do perhaps make newcomers feel pressured and quite honestly have no clue what to do. I had to frequently Google and ask my friends about priorities. Although frankly, I'm leaning towards being positive on the aspect. Sincerely cool having advisors and solving problems since you are a Baron. I found it more enjoyable than my playthrough with Ni No Kuni 2’s version. Which ultimately was all right with uninteresting sidequests. Here I kept coming back to my empire. Taking personal pleasure in being hands-on in my day-to-day. See how your settlements grow and flourish along with your subjects. It’s thrilling, satisfying, and most of all worth seeing all your efforts come to fruition. For general tips, I'll echo what before I play & walkthrough for advice. Was instrumental and made daunting tasks to fulfill become easier to manage.

However, tiredness will undoubtedly occur. I had to stop playing kingmaker constantly in 2023 due to fatigue. The sheer amount of content if you combine the DLC is a lot for anyone’s plate. Acts on average took me 20 hours give or take some change to complete considering there are a total of 8 acts. If you count the act-like DLC Varnhold and the roguelike beneath the stolen lands. You’re easily reaching 150+. This is a friendly reminder to stop and take a break in case you are feeling burned out. I played palette cleansers like indies and shifted into different genres from a CRPG in between chapters to refresh my willpower to keep going. The slow-burn narrative along with my mixed feelings on kingdom-building aspects among others leave me in doubt whether I unintentionally had resorted to sunk cost fallacy. However, I would say once you reach part 2 to part 3 then the plot beats start to heat up gradually into a snowball. Turning my interest from a “hmmm” to an “Oh now we're getting somewhere.”

I think some rules for Pathfinder in general are too restrictive and punishing. This isn’t a negative against Owlcat; rather they did a phenomenal job adapting the tabletop ruleset for the videogame audience. Paizo the company from my understanding created the IP and surrounding laws within. Here are notable head-scratchers. I am not allowed unlimited lockpicking? Once I fail an attempt it's impossible to try again. I had to resort to a mod to give me unlimited attempts. Moreover, no instant rest after skirmishes. Meaning in vanilla, if my heavily damaged party needs to rejuvenate I have to manually activate the button to heal where I am assailable randomly. And lord help my soul if I fail that encounter during the process. Thus my momentum of adventuring unimpeded is halted. Sure I soothe my comrade's health, but what happens when I run out of charges for each of my healers? Then I am incapable of reviving their vitality. Resulting in, busywork. Coupled with the majority of loading screens from entering my throne room -> kingdom management -> back to throne room -> going out to world map -> entering a new area on the map -> reverting a save if something awry occurs -> repeat. Granted not a major deal, but over the course of my long playthrough, it all adds up. As a consequence, I am forced to struggle whereas I could be enjoying. Maybe I'm spoiled by fast load speeds, but I did install this on a fast SSD. Maybe a faster M.2 drive would be better. Goodness, imagine playing this on an HDD…

Other miscellaneous stuff: Gameplay would hang. An uncommon occurrence during random battles. Perhaps an NVME is better? I played on a Samsung SSD with a decent PC that ran the highest graphics on max settings to optimal framerate. The hanging is like a split second. Usually, initializing textures and characters when starting and during loading screens to govern your principality or unpacking a file. Not something glaringly obvious since my overall experience is still positive. Nevertheless, it is something noteworthy. Moving on. Some portraits of enemies are not given a unique picture. We are faced with our characters' faces. Pretty jarring to witness as if any major enemy is well an imposter of us. Granted not all of them are like this, but the inconsistency is mildly weird to witness.

Owlcat’s version of Pathfinder gamified is an incredibly ambitious undertaking. Took me nearly a year to finish in its entirety and while I did have some annoyances from the ruleset, scattered loading times, and mixed feelings. There’s quite a bit to enjoy among the many systems within. I liked overseeing my realm. Making tough decisions based on fair policies and having an immediate effect on my subjects whether good or bad. I delved deep to understand the deep mechanics in real time and pause. Yet at the end of the day, I think the amount of gratification here despite the herculean effort the devs have encompassed with a gigantic stuff to devour is dependent on the user's experience to get down in the trenches. If I never knew about skill checks and buffing, then I would have suffered early on because of my ignorance in taking advantage of magical resistances. If I didn’t read up on how to manage my provinces better, then possibly in a bad alternate universe I would’ve game over in my 100+ hour run due to my improper handling and neglect of the state of affairs. And that is NOT a feeling I want anyone to suffer with. Considering the reports I've read online of users having the same issues of neglecting their nation. Please make sure to check 'invincible kingdom' in the options. Speaks volumes how much you have to devote yourself to bring out something worthwhile. And for me? I think this is certainly one of the greats along with Baldur’s Gate. As long as you dedicate enough energy inside and mods installed. A deep & expansive CRPG that doesn’t hold your hand, but rewards the most invested of players. Sadly I find this incredibly difficult to recommend to everyone. Except only to fans of the genre. I believe Mandaloregaming said it best "... you play this game more for the systems than for the writing." And I can’t help but agree with their statement despite him saying the line in his story section. I would say it also accounts for the whole breadth of the game itself.

Base game without mods: 7.6/10
Base game with mods: 8/10

References & Additional Material:
Interview with the creative director on Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Pathfinder: Kingmaker Classes overview and archetypes
Example of information overload from my character
Long road to secret ending - heavy endgame spoilers within
PK Difficulty Settings - Pretty extensive options to tune the combat modifiers to your preference.
Before I play & Walkthrough

Mods:
Mod Manager - Bag of Tricks - Faster Menu - Buffbot

Why yes, I know of A Hat in Time, also known as the second-best Hat based 3D platformer released on October of 2017 ever made!

In spite of my repeated claims of love towards the 3D platforming genre, I would lie if I said I played every single one of the so called classics—I’ve yet to touch a single one released on the PSX that isn’t Medievil and play any of the 3D Rayman games—, but beyond that lack of experience with older titles on my end, the main reason I haven’t actually sat down and played more regularly newly released 3D platformers is because… there aren’t many to choose from. It's a game landscape somewhat rejected by most bigger studios, which tend to see the concept of platforming in a 3D space the concept or base for a bigger game in another genre rather that it’s own, and at this point, it has become somewhat of a special occurrence when two major titles of the genre release withing the same yea, hell, we are already lucky if at least one does.

With all that said, it’d be impossible to categorize the genre as as ‘’dead’’, not by a long shot; the indie scene is doing gods-work for that to be a remote possibility, and now-a-days, I kinda associate it with that scene, not that I think of it as a smaller or more niche genre than what it once was, on contraire, it’s a vibrant, more personal and passionate landscape, the ‘’people’s games’’ so to speak, and I think that particular spark that each developer both what makes so many people feel like they are gambling

A Hat in Time released on a very interesting year for the genre, not necessarily the best or worst, but it certainly had variety, with released from big publishers and small teams, of majestic quality and of pretty big disappointments, and it’s in this year which was probably the most full the genre ever had during the past decade, in the month where the band new 3D Mario game released, it’s where despite it all, A Hat in Time shines.

I can’t really tell what the game is going for exactly visually and tonally, but whatever it is, keep it coming ‘cause it works. If I had to compare it to something, I guess the best thing would be the sometimes referred as ‘’double A’’ games of the sixth and seventh generation. Those character models than can look rough and sometimes even clipping into each other but are so cartoony and full of life that is more than worth it, that humor that should tonally clash with the cutesy vibe but instead it works to a tea, the incredibly silly storyline that finds ways to be memorable… It’s not the prettiest nor the the funniest game out there, but it still exceeds at those areas, with some parts and scenarios looking kind of beautiful or selling completely the spooky or silly vibe, and with jokes that in any other context would make you wonder ‘’how did they get away with this?’’ with how deranged and good they can get.

It can sometimes feel all over the place, like pieces of different puzzles that somehow fit, which I’m inclined to believe it was intentional with how the rest of the is. There are four different worlds divided in four chapters, and when playing through ‘’Mafia Town’’—ignore for a moment that is quite possibly the singles best idea for a first world to ever be thought of— I thought I knew what this was going for, a Sungine/64 like game, with big open levels you can explore that change a little bit every time you go to a different mission, or ‘’act’’ as they are known in this game. And I mean, yeah, all worlds are divided into acts you must beat before facing the final boss of each world, and there are some extra challenges you can find that reward you with a Time Piece that are VERY Sunshine inspired with what quite possibly is one of the most relaxing tunes I’ve ever heard, but aside of that… you better be prepared from some chaos!

You got everything you could possibly dream of: two birds (one of whom may or may not be racist towards penguins) competing to get a movie award once again after years of rivalry and you being thrown into the mix to help both and give the victory to one of them, a spirit infested contract based spooky forest that has both one of the most intense moments I’ve lived in any 3D Platformer ever and a fight against a haunted toilet, and a free roam mountain top stage that is the only of its kind in the base game. There ain’t much consistency here, and that can actually work; it made each of this random ass places and these weird mafia mobs, birds, ghosts and goats that inhabit it all the more endearing. Everything that has to do with Snatcher or the Conductor and DJ Groove is gold I swear to god, their whole chapters being centered around them and the movie sets or deals they out Hat Kit through made them even more memorable than they would already have been… AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH THEY GOT SICK AS HELL THEMES WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

The music in this game also doesn’t make any sense, but not because it’s absurd or inconsistent, but because it’s too fire; it’s a constant blessing to the ears, with either bombastic and exhilarating themes or the most calming and fitting sounds to ever be thought while jumping and diving. I already linked two completely different yet amazing songs, and I could fill this review with even more, this is one of my favorite overall OSTs I’ve heard in a while, there’s a reason so many people use all the Chapter 2 songs to put in the background and Your Contract has Expired blew up years back, it’s too good to pass up.

The lands of A Hat in Time are plagued by charisma and charm, the only thing that would make them better would be being able to traverse th- OH WAIT YEAH! Hat Kid’s move set is actually pretty deceiving; it seems pretty in both theory and practice, it’s just a double jump, a dive and an attack button, but it actually that allow for super fluid and creative movement, and that make it even more rewarding to pull it off. Even when you are not tested with a mini challenge to earn an item or pons, it’s always a fun time to bring the movement to tis limits; you are almost invited to skip sections and reach certain parts in a way the game didn’t plan to, either through pure movement prowess or intelligent use of the hats (Fast hat and Fox-mask my beloveds…).

Getting any kind of reward, be it a Time Piece or something like a Badge or cosmetic change, feels fulfilling not only because the process of getting it is fun and unique, but also you most likely gained something else along the way, like reading a fun story as it unfolds… if that story had a bit of an annoying camera.

As much as I love how A Hat in Time nails the creativity and fun actor, there’s always a thing or two that puts a sour taste in my mouth. At best they are annoying decisions that really don’t make much sense, like blocking certain acts behind a pong-wall or making the grappling hook a badge instead of a direct upgrade, they both don’t seem like that big of a deals, but the former is incredibly inconsistent (and this time not a good way) and it only serves to take away your pongs at random intervals, which is something I simply do not understand when it’s limited to the first two chapters and when there’s already so many stuff to spend off and losing that money on something because the game said feels unwarranted; and the latter is… it’s just a bit dumb I think? The grappling hook becomes an integral part of your set once you get it, and practically all of the following challenges require you to use it or, at the very least, make traversal much more natural and fun, so from that point on you’ll essentially only have two badge slots since one will always be dedicated to it, and I personally think that incorporating to the roster of Hat Kid’s permanent tools would have made MUCH more sense.

But still, those things don’t necessarily worsen the experience… others very much do tho! You are never in full control of the camera, which is fine since it has clearly been thought out to work better in more open spaces and in those instances is buttery smooth, but then there are moments like Chapter 2’s Act 2, which is a super fun stealth mission focused on gathering clues while exploring a train, that I’s absolutely true, but is in those moments where the camera’s weaknesses shine bright, making it impossible to really know what’s ahead or even where you need to go, since your main hat will always point to your final current objective and nor the place you need to go first (which is another can of worms of its own), and moments like this are scattered through the game and make me wish they did something similar to how it is in Vanessa’s Manor or Chapter 4’s windmill. As it stands, is a looming annoyance that pops out here and there, just how the attacking dive can be a pain in the ass to know at which height you need to be for it to work, or how the checkpoint system can screw you off at a moment’s notice if you fall in the wrong place, or how the can get surprisingly buggy or sometimes say ‘’NO’’ to the strategy you wanted to do with random invisible walls, or how- I think I’m gonna leave it there to be honest…

It's a congregation of decisions and dumb mistakes that pile up and can sometimes make segments feel a lil’ bit like you are doing a to-do-list, which is funny ‘cause in Chapter 3 you do exactly that except it really doesn’t feel like it! It was during Subcon Forest that I begin to get suspicious but in Alpine Skyline I felt it was confirmed; most of these problems were most likely originated in early development, ‘cause A Hat in Time, even with this mistakes on its back, just keeps getting a better. Mafia Town is not a bad introduction and I do like it in some ways, but also presents some problems and structure the other chapters don’t have, like incredibly simplistic boss fights, having to repeat some sections or getting lost through the map to find sometimes, or secrets that aren’t that fun to get; it works but it’s hard not to look at it as the weakest of the bunch, and hell, I’d say the Mafia are funnier in the following chapters and on the ship than in their own town!

It's certainly a humble beginning, a charming onje no doubt, but one that pales in every department with what come next; Battle of the Birds is a super cool set of more linear challenges with and creative sets that gets brought down a bit by some strange decisions (needing to go Chapter 3 before being able to finish breaks the pace completely for me) and the fact that main point of the whole chapter doesn’t really play into much with the final fight except for some model swapping, which doesn’t change the fact that the Conductor/DJ Groove fight is incredible, I just wish it had a little bit more meaning beside DJ Groove getting too cocky or the Conductor being a petty bastard. Subcon Forest is where the true magic happens, the contract system doesn’t really play into much, but it justifies the act system way more, and the area itself hits the spot with its spooky looks as different sections, and has my two favorite fights in the entire game and my favorite level, so yeah, hard not to love it. And then… there’s Alpine Skyline, I’ll say right now that I thing its finale its pretty annoying and doesn’t really play into the potential of the area, but aside from that, this is the highest peak of the game for me, there’s no contest. Maybe I like too much this style of semi open world divided into more linear challenges, but I’m sorry, this area has it all; a killer setting and design, the most fun platforming obstacle courses in the game, a completely free roam experience that feels open even when you are following a set path, and the lighting system to mark you finished treasure hunting in a certain sections it’s a simple yet genius touch I wished other parts of the game had.

A Hat in Time is a testament to improvement, at how a game can get even better as it goes along and end on a higher note than it ended with, but even more than that… is an ode to fun. You can sit down in a ton of places just to admire the scenery, you can do certain emotes that don’t affect the game at all but are just fun to use, you can screw around the main space ship and find random secrets like Hat Kid’s hideout and learn about her thoughts after each completed act. Things that if they weren’t there I wouldn’t have complained, but now I can’t imagine the game without them, and it’s filled to the brim. It’s an experience made out of love that ‘s hidden even in the most obscure corner, a love visible even in he rougher edges, a love that’s shared by so, so many.

A Hat in Time is ‘’the people’s game’’, the workshop is put at the front of the main menu and mods and the community work are baked into the game itself, a celebrated effort that’s only there because the has managed to inspire even 6 years later, and I can sit all day and complain all I want, but that’s always gonna be there, and people finding ways to be in this crazy-ass mafia filled world just a little longer is wonderful to see, and understandable; A Hat in Time is charming, it’s fun, to point of being contagious, you could even say it made me feel the normal amount of empty inside, maybe even less.

It's a game that says ‘’Get lost!’’ to grumpiness, and I for one join it in its chant! I’ll be back real soon to seal more deals and explore the metro, that’s for sure, how could I say no to more of this kind of 3D platforming playfulness?

Honestly I really had no intention of doing a review because it's Zelda II. Even when originally wanting to play the FDS version. This wouldn't change my mind but I do wanna say that despite all the struggles the past decade never beating this game. I finally did it and I ended up playing the whole thing on the NES. Why? Well, honestly it's because I played a hack of the game that let's you play as Marisa from Touhou and for some reason that was enough for me.

This game still has flaws but it's fun and I'm glad I finally beat it. It's a shame the concept of a Zelda RPG has never happened. I'm on the boat of this is the only entry in the series that's actually an RPG but I'm sure that'll annoy some people, sorry. I hope one day the game gets a remake seeing as I've seen multiple people wanting to do so, I'd give it a try if they did.

They say it ain’t easy being cheesy, and I certainly felt what they meant when I decided at random to take a look at the first game to feature the mascot of Cheetos as its main star, Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool. It was pretty much exactly what you would expect from a cheap 90s licensed game based on a brand of snack foods, being incredibly generic, having terrible control/movement speed, some of the lamest excuses of boss fights I have ever seen, no inclusion of continues or passwords whatsoever, and just having that feel of a cheap product smeared everywhere you look. It wasn’t completely terrible, but it was just bad enough to where I would swear off Cheetos for the rest of my life, sticking with Doritos from now on in case I needed some cheesy snacky goodness. Although… it has been quite a while since we did play that game, and I have had a hankering for some cheese-covered corn chips that aren’t shaped like a triangle……… ah fuck it, why not, I’ll have some more again. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? I would have to play Chester Cheetah: Wild Wild Quest? Yeah right, like that would happen…………………… wait, oh shit, I’m typing a review right now… which means………. NOOOOOO-

So yes, for some reason, I guess Too Cool to Fool was successful in its attempt to swindle money out of all the poor kids from the 90s in exchange for cheesy garbage, so as a result, it managed to get a sequel just one year later, and naturally, I wasn’t looking forward to playing it at all. Sure, the original game wasn’t terrible, so I didn’t immediately think this game was gonna be terrible, but there was still a good 99.9% chance it could’ve ended up being god awful. Finally though, after putting it off for long enough, I decided to give it a shot, and it was bad… but thankfully not doomsday levels of bad. For what it is worth, it is an improvement over the original game, and it does have an approach to gameplay that I prefer way more than what that game gave me, but it still manages to be cheap, licensed garbage that is just about as appealing as taking another bite of those god-forsaken chips.

The story picks up right from where the last game left off (I think), where while on his way to Hip City, Chester Cheetah loses his map due to Mean Eugene, the villain from the last game, chasing him down and ripping it up into ten pieces, scattering it all over the country, so it is up to Chester to get the pieces back to reach Hip City, which, much like the plot of the original game, is clearly perfect in any way, and if you question it or dislike it whatsoever, you simply aren’t wild enough to go on this quest. The graphics are… admittedly better then the previous game, with there being a lot more consistency in what you see and new environments to run through, but it is still mostly just a bunch of random colors thrown on the screen, the music is… actually not too bad, with there being several tracks that I ended up liking as I listened to them, but maybe I just have garbage taste, and the gameplay/control is, also admittedly, better than that of the original game, but not only does it still have some hiccups to be seen, but it doesn’t do anything to… you know, get creative.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of the raddest cheetah you have clearly ever seen, Chester Cheetah, go through a set of 9 and a half levels that take place in various locations around the United States, run and jump your way through these levels while bouncing on enemies to take them out, gather plenty of items that can either give you extra lives, a means of progressing, or an extra chance just in case you get hit, and fight several bosses that are about as complex and fun to fight as me counting the fingers I have on one hand. It is as creatively devoid as any shovelware game from this era can be, offering nothing new or exciting from many other games of the era, but again, it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

First of all, you can now choose to go through any of the levels in any order you want, which is pretty nice, even if none of the levels are that exciting or different from each other, and speaking of which, the levels themselves are pretty short, with you being able to run through them very quickly, so that helps out a lot when you want to get through the game as fast as possible. Not to mention, it isn’t simply just about reaching the end of the stage, as you will also need to find a piece of the map along the way, which is pretty neat… or at least, it would be if most of the map pieces weren’t just lying around in broad daylight, just waiting for you to grab them. Seriously, you could’ve at least hidden them a little better this time around.

And finally, like I mentioned earlier, this game actually has boss fights! No more awkward, dumbass endurance tests like from Too Cool to Fool, for instead, we have full on fights with various lovable characters from the Cheetos franchise, like Mean Eugene and… uh… Mean Eugene! As for the boss fights themselves, they are… ok. They are pretty simple, just your typical “bop them on the head three-four times to win” bosses, but hey, they are at least more fun to deal with then the shit from the last game. Not to mention, some of them can be pretty tricky if you don’t take advantage of some of the moves that Chester has at his disposal.

But now, it is time to get into the issues that ruin the game, with the first one being, of course, the controls. You all ever seen that Family Guy cutaway gag that involves Chester Cheetah snorting Cheeto dust like it’s cocaine? Well, I feel like I’d have to do the same thing to be able to play this game properly, because not only does Chester once again have inconsistent running speeds (even if it is improved from last time), but there were many different moments where it just felt straight up unresponsive. Moving felt incredibly stiff, and a lot of the time, whenever I would hit the jump or run buttons, the game wouldn’t register it at all, and I would end up dying in some scenario because apparently I wasn’t allowed to hit a button then. Not to mention, you die in one hit if you don’t have a bag of Cheetos, meaning it is most likely you will die to a lot of things that you can’t see coming or properly avoid.

And finally, there is slowdown EVERYWHERE in this game. When it comes to the SNES version of this game, it feels like this game can’t just go five seconds without some kind of slowdown issue occurring, and it’s not as if there are that many enemies on the screen when it happens either. I don’t inherently have a problem with slowdown too much in video games, as sometimes it can actually be helpful, but I do get bothered by it when it either effects my gameplay negatively, or it is constant. This, my friends, is the latter. Aside from all that though, a lot of it is your generic licensed game affair, being a pretty unpolished platformer that can be beaten very quickly, if you can get a handle on the shitty controls.

Overall, despite the improved gameplay, the inclusion of boss fights, and not being long enough to get mad about, Wild Wild Quest is yet another pointless piece of shovelware for a product that really didn’t need any kind of advertising like this, being as basic as it gets, having flawed fundamentals, and is about as slow as a slug that is being burned alive from having salt poured onto it. I would only recommend this for those who liked the previous Chester Cheetah game, but for everyone else, there are plenty of better platformers from this era, licensed or otherwise, that you can play over this. But anyway, with all that out of the way, I think I am now done with Cheetos for good, for real this time! Don’t need anymore shitty food-related games to ruin my day. Although, I am getting kinda thirsty… ooh, hey, when did this can of 7UP get here?

Game #526

This game is bananas!

^Initially that was gonna be my entire review, but this game surprised me without how much I like it so I'll give some brief thoughts.

Fantastic look and sound. I think this game has a real nice aesthetic even if it doesn't hold up as well technically compared some other games on the ps1(There can be slowdown at times and the draw distance is pretty low). The monkeys look really silly and helps make them endearing. The music by Soichi Terada is fantastic, really good. It constantly surprised me with how good it was. Crumbling Castle and the final boss theme are probably my fave songs from the game. The dub is what you expect for the time, pretty cheesy and stilted but it's fine. I think Specter's voice fits the character pretty well at least. The game feels pretty great to play, finding the monkeys was fun and replaying a level I already finished with new gadgets was really satisfying. It felt so good to skip parts of the level that took a bit of time the first time I went through with it. The camera did get in the way sometimes and the controls could feel a tad bit unresponsive at times even if I felt the game-feel was really nice overall. Some of the gimmicks like the boat felt kind of finicky too, but overall I really enjoyed my time with this game.