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134 Reviews liked by TGA_backloggd
Custer's Revenge
1982
You know, sometimes, I like to sit outside on my balcony, in a nice little chair, watching either the sunrise or sunset depending on the time of day, and I like to think "Man... life is good. Life is grand, there is so much to love about humanity and our planet in general, and I am glad to be alive."
And then I remember stuff like this game exists, and then I quickly remember that humanity was a mistake, and that the Earth should have been shot into the sun a long time ago to rid the universe of us.
Game #216
And then I remember stuff like this game exists, and then I quickly remember that humanity was a mistake, and that the Earth should have been shot into the sun a long time ago to rid the universe of us.
Game #216
Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em
1982
Instructions unclear, beat the cartridge with a hammer and then ate it. Was that not what I was supposed to do? It was pretty yummy, but not as tasty as those Switch cartridges.
Game #281
Game #281
Hey there, kids, did you know? Drugs, believe it or not, are BAD, and if you haven’t figured that out yet, there will be plenty of people, organizations, and pieces of media that will be there to remind you about it, even if you are already well aware that drugs are bad. Drug PSAs have been around for the longest time, taking on many different forms, and always telling their message in a different way, whether in a way that is actually effective and could possibly even scar you into following the message, or ones that just… have PeeWee Herman showing you what crack is. There have also been plenty of products that have been sold out to the masses that will make sure to remind you that drugs are bad, and while their message is clear and concise, as it should be, at the same time, they will most likely forget to make the product behind the message actually good, diminishing the meaning of said message entirely. Such as the case with today’s subject, Wally Bear and the NO! Gang.
When you get a look as to what kind of character Wally Bear is, you pretty much know exactly what you are going to get out of him. An anthropomorphic “cool” animal character, accompanied by plenty of other similar characters, whose entire purpose is to tell the audience that drugs and alcohol are bad, while preventing anyone else from pushing it onto them. Obviously, this could be seen as a good way of teaching younger audiences that drugs and alcohol are bad, while also keeping them engaged enough to the point where they will actually take the lessons to heart later in the future. Unfortunetly, not only are the lessons delivered in the most half-assed manner possible, but the game that was made around these lessons also fucking sucks. It is one of the most bare-bones, poorly put together platformers that I have seen for the system at all, with almost no redeeming quality to it other than the fact that it exists at all.
The story is about Wally Bear going to his uncle’s house for a party (definitely doesn’t sound creepy at all), but along the way, there are plenty of other smaller stories involving substances, just to remind the player what kind of game they are playing, the graphics are awful, not only showing hideous sprites for most of the characters, but also having some of the worst looking environments and repeated locations I’ve ever seen for an NES game, the music is a collection of the most repetitive, unenjoyable, unemotional tracks ever put onto a game for this system, and I’m not expecting anything on the same level as a Mega Man soundtrack, but come on, you can do better then this, the control is fine, for the most part, although I’d say your default speed is a little too slow, and the traction on your movement can be pretty horrendous at points, and the gameplay is what you would expect from a cheap NES title, mixed with a pinch of bullshit, along with a heap of meaningless messages.
The game is your typical 2D side-scrolling platformer, where you take control of Walley Bear, go through many exciting locations such as a city, a sewer, a neighborhood, and a subway, battle your way through ferocious beasts such as birds, dogs, rats, snakes, lizards, and so on, gathering several power-ups along the way to assist you in your quest to get to that very important party, and… that is about it. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting much from this anyway, but this is a very bare-bones platformer, with nothing too interesting or inventive to make it seem all that noteworthy. I guess there are somethings that make it somewhat more interesting, like a frisbee powerup you can get, and skateboards that can make you go faster, but that is about it.
So, there are two areas we need to properly judge this on: as a game, and as a drug PSA. As a game, it is complete dogshit. Like I already mentioned, there is nothing that makes this noteworthy or interesting when compared to the many, MANY, other platformers out there at the time, and despite the fact that it can be beaten in about 10 minutes, it is an excruciating 10 minutes to be sure. Not only does your movement speed range from that of a slug to being somewhat uncontrollable, but the obstacles become quite a big hazard, with enemies placed everywhere you look, and while most of them are easy to avoid, one enemy in particular makes even just walking to the right a major gamble… the birds/bats. These appear EVERYWHERE throughout the game, constantly flying from left to right, or vice versa, swooping up or down in anyway they wish, and needless to say, they will be the cause of most of your deaths in the game, whether by actually hitting you themselves, or being positioned to a point where you have no choice to collide with another enemy or a pit. There are other instances where enemies and platforming get needlessly difficult, but that is just the biggest example of it.
So, as a game, it is pretty terrible, but how does it do as a drug PSA? Well, it is somewhat better… but not by much. There are plenty of messages that are told to the player throughout the game, such as don’t take pills, don’t drink, don’t get in vans with strangers, and don’t steal, which is all cool and all, but none of these messages are implemented into the game organically. In between levels, you will run into another member of the NO! Gang, and they will be in some situation which calls upon Wally Bear to lecture the player on why these things are important, which is good, but it is more of a distraction rather then an important lesson. It’s like if you were playing an adventure game, but before every dungeon, the game takes a moment to tell you about why bullying is wrong and how to prevent school shootings. Not only is it completely out of place, but it leaves no impact on you whatsoever, other then thinking “Huh, ok… that was strange.”
Overall, while there were (very little) good intentions to be seen within the product itself, it not only fails at being a good game entirely, but it also fails at being a meaningful PSA, meant to be thrown into the pile of other meaningless PSAs to be forgotten overtime. Unless you have a knack for terrible, what-the-fuck products, then I don’t recommend that you check this out whatsoever, because it is not worth it at all… just like drugs. Drugs are bad, ladies and gentlemen, because the developers of this game were probably on drugs while making it, so we want to avoid mistakes like this from happening ever again… even though they definitely will.
Game #324
When you get a look as to what kind of character Wally Bear is, you pretty much know exactly what you are going to get out of him. An anthropomorphic “cool” animal character, accompanied by plenty of other similar characters, whose entire purpose is to tell the audience that drugs and alcohol are bad, while preventing anyone else from pushing it onto them. Obviously, this could be seen as a good way of teaching younger audiences that drugs and alcohol are bad, while also keeping them engaged enough to the point where they will actually take the lessons to heart later in the future. Unfortunetly, not only are the lessons delivered in the most half-assed manner possible, but the game that was made around these lessons also fucking sucks. It is one of the most bare-bones, poorly put together platformers that I have seen for the system at all, with almost no redeeming quality to it other than the fact that it exists at all.
The story is about Wally Bear going to his uncle’s house for a party (definitely doesn’t sound creepy at all), but along the way, there are plenty of other smaller stories involving substances, just to remind the player what kind of game they are playing, the graphics are awful, not only showing hideous sprites for most of the characters, but also having some of the worst looking environments and repeated locations I’ve ever seen for an NES game, the music is a collection of the most repetitive, unenjoyable, unemotional tracks ever put onto a game for this system, and I’m not expecting anything on the same level as a Mega Man soundtrack, but come on, you can do better then this, the control is fine, for the most part, although I’d say your default speed is a little too slow, and the traction on your movement can be pretty horrendous at points, and the gameplay is what you would expect from a cheap NES title, mixed with a pinch of bullshit, along with a heap of meaningless messages.
The game is your typical 2D side-scrolling platformer, where you take control of Walley Bear, go through many exciting locations such as a city, a sewer, a neighborhood, and a subway, battle your way through ferocious beasts such as birds, dogs, rats, snakes, lizards, and so on, gathering several power-ups along the way to assist you in your quest to get to that very important party, and… that is about it. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting much from this anyway, but this is a very bare-bones platformer, with nothing too interesting or inventive to make it seem all that noteworthy. I guess there are somethings that make it somewhat more interesting, like a frisbee powerup you can get, and skateboards that can make you go faster, but that is about it.
So, there are two areas we need to properly judge this on: as a game, and as a drug PSA. As a game, it is complete dogshit. Like I already mentioned, there is nothing that makes this noteworthy or interesting when compared to the many, MANY, other platformers out there at the time, and despite the fact that it can be beaten in about 10 minutes, it is an excruciating 10 minutes to be sure. Not only does your movement speed range from that of a slug to being somewhat uncontrollable, but the obstacles become quite a big hazard, with enemies placed everywhere you look, and while most of them are easy to avoid, one enemy in particular makes even just walking to the right a major gamble… the birds/bats. These appear EVERYWHERE throughout the game, constantly flying from left to right, or vice versa, swooping up or down in anyway they wish, and needless to say, they will be the cause of most of your deaths in the game, whether by actually hitting you themselves, or being positioned to a point where you have no choice to collide with another enemy or a pit. There are other instances where enemies and platforming get needlessly difficult, but that is just the biggest example of it.
So, as a game, it is pretty terrible, but how does it do as a drug PSA? Well, it is somewhat better… but not by much. There are plenty of messages that are told to the player throughout the game, such as don’t take pills, don’t drink, don’t get in vans with strangers, and don’t steal, which is all cool and all, but none of these messages are implemented into the game organically. In between levels, you will run into another member of the NO! Gang, and they will be in some situation which calls upon Wally Bear to lecture the player on why these things are important, which is good, but it is more of a distraction rather then an important lesson. It’s like if you were playing an adventure game, but before every dungeon, the game takes a moment to tell you about why bullying is wrong and how to prevent school shootings. Not only is it completely out of place, but it leaves no impact on you whatsoever, other then thinking “Huh, ok… that was strange.”
Overall, while there were (very little) good intentions to be seen within the product itself, it not only fails at being a good game entirely, but it also fails at being a meaningful PSA, meant to be thrown into the pile of other meaningless PSAs to be forgotten overtime. Unless you have a knack for terrible, what-the-fuck products, then I don’t recommend that you check this out whatsoever, because it is not worth it at all… just like drugs. Drugs are bad, ladies and gentlemen, because the developers of this game were probably on drugs while making it, so we want to avoid mistakes like this from happening ever again… even though they definitely will.
Game #324
I have sat here for what feels like an eternity trying my best to think of an intro for this thing. I have had a few ideas that I have had swirling around in my tiny little peanut of a brain, but honestly, none of them would be enough to properly convey any of my feelings towards this product properly, or bring up any kind of compelling argument that could be made about it. So, instead, I may as well go ahead and start this off by giving you a list of things you could do instead of checking out this product.
Playing Something Else
Going Outside
Getting a Pet and Taking Care of It
Hang Out With Friends
Find a Romantic Partner and Share Experiences with Each Other
Robbing a Ba-
Yeah, it’s random, but it perfectly fits whatever tone this thing is trying to go for. It’s Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties, people!
This is not a video game. It just isn’t. It may try to convince you in every way that it is one, as it is something you put in a gaming console, and you do indeed control with a video game controller, but despite all of that, it is still not a video game. In fact, I’m not even sure what it is, and I am pretty positive that most of you probably can’t accurately describe what it is either. What we do know is that it was a… thing that was released for the 3DO Interactive, and it is considered to be one of the worst “video games” of all time, and you know what? They are correct. It is an absolute piece of shit, one that has seemingly no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and it is absolutely painful to “play through” for most people. However, despite all that… I can’t say I really hate it all that much. Don’t get me wrong, it is complete garbage, there is no other way to describe it, but given how awfully bizarre and weird it is, as well as how unashamedly cheap and revolting it can be, it is something I just can’t get mad at, as it knows what it is, and it isn’t ashamed of it. I guess I’ll just have to be ashamed of it for both of us.
The story is, on its surface, a basic love story, as you are primarily meant to find a way to get John and Jane, the two most generic protagonists ever, to fall in love, which may seem boring, but don’t worry, as there are plenty of events and circumstances that will arise that will get in the way of all this, while also making you question what the fuck you are even looking at, the graphics are……. well, can I even call them graphics, as for most of the game, it just consists of a bunch of still images that “detail” what is happening at that point, which makes no sense, considering there is a full video at the beginning of the game, so why couldn’t the rest of the game be like that, the music is… something to say the least, with none of the tracks fitting what is happening in the game, and all of them being terrible, the control is just, like, two buttons or so, with one being to select a choice, and the others being to swap between them, and the “gameplay” is pretty much what you would get out of a visual novel, but this isn’t a visual novel, so it doesn’t work at all, and it baffles my mind.
This… thing is something I guess you could pretend is a visual novel, where you have to watch the story as it goes on, and at points in the “game”, you are given the option to choose what happens at that point in the story, and… that is pretty much it. There is no other gameplay, interactivity, or anything of the sort. You just press a button at certain points, and watch it all unfold. So, what exactly does unfold in the story of Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties? Well, only the most uncomfortable and poorly constructed love story imaginable, which involves things like a narrator that constantly interrupts the story to tell you how much of a disgusting piece of shit you are (takes one to know one, buddy), a bunch of unnecessary filters that plague many of the images and make it all a complete eyesore, graphics, effects, and transitions that look like they were made on either Microsoft Paint or a PowerPoint presentation, and a bunch of random elements placed everywhere that I can only assume were meant to confuse the fuck out of you and do nothing else. And not to mention, on top of that, there is also the fact that the entire conflict in the game centers around an act of workplace/sexual harassment, which leaves us with something definitely shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and makes me wanna actually a get a copy of this game and destroy it.
It absolutely boggles my mind that something like this even exists at all. No matter how much I watch it on YouTube (because lord knows I am never going to “play” it again), I just can’t for the life of me imagine what the purpose of this “game” was, or even who it was made for. Was it made for gamers? No, because there is no gameplay to speak of, so nobody is gonna want to try to play it. Was it made for people who wanna get their rocks off? No, because who the hell is gonna get aroused by a bunch of low-quality images slapped together on a slideshow reel? Was it made for absolutely nobody? No, because anybody who does know about it still ends up confusingly fascinated by it, so there must be some reason that it exists, but I can’t find it! And yet, somehow, it ends up getting a rerelease on modern consoles that was distributed just one or two months ago, because as we all know, this is DEFINITELY the best way to spend the $35 dollars that I had just lying around. I was just gonna burn it all and snort the ashes, but nonononono, CLEARLY I need to use it to put this thing onto my Switch and infect it for the rest of its life.
And yet, somehow, after all this time of knowing about and having “played” it myself… I can’t bring myself to hate it. Yes, it is horrible in every conceivable way, and the fact that it was sold for money TWICE is an absolute crime against nature, and yet, when you take a look at the product itself, you can see just how much it really doesn’t give a shit. It will do whatever it wants whenever it feels like during the story, and you kinda just have to go along with it. Wanna have the narrator wear a chicken mask, and also fight some random other person at one point, even going as far as to kill them? Sure, why not? Wanna have a blooper in the middle of an “intense” scene? Be my guest! Wanna put a random PNG of a cartoon raccoon driving a go-kart in a bunch of random places for no reason? But of course! Nothing makes sense in Toontown! All of these things are actually in the "game", and it turns it all into what I can only describe as a fever dream, and at this point, I am ready to just fully embrace whatever this thing is and stop questioning logic. Common sense is for the weak, and I am tired of being weak.
Overall, despite the fact that it has some sort of insane appeal, this is still one of the worst things that has ever been made by human hands, and it has forever poisoned the minds of many, including myself. If you have somehow gone long enough without “playing” or watching it for yourself, do yourself a favor and don’t do it. Yeah, it may be fun for a bit, but it really doesn’t warrant any more attention than anyone, including myself, has already given it. But, before we go and forget this thing ever existed, I just wanna point out one more thing: the title is a FUCKING LIE, because there is a “scene” in the game that has John, who just so happens to be a plumber, wearing a tie. You can’t even get a title for this game that isn’t messing with you.
“Game” #405
Playing Something Else
Going Outside
Getting a Pet and Taking Care of It
Hang Out With Friends
Find a Romantic Partner and Share Experiences with Each Other
Robbing a Ba-
Yeah, it’s random, but it perfectly fits whatever tone this thing is trying to go for. It’s Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties, people!
This is not a video game. It just isn’t. It may try to convince you in every way that it is one, as it is something you put in a gaming console, and you do indeed control with a video game controller, but despite all of that, it is still not a video game. In fact, I’m not even sure what it is, and I am pretty positive that most of you probably can’t accurately describe what it is either. What we do know is that it was a… thing that was released for the 3DO Interactive, and it is considered to be one of the worst “video games” of all time, and you know what? They are correct. It is an absolute piece of shit, one that has seemingly no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and it is absolutely painful to “play through” for most people. However, despite all that… I can’t say I really hate it all that much. Don’t get me wrong, it is complete garbage, there is no other way to describe it, but given how awfully bizarre and weird it is, as well as how unashamedly cheap and revolting it can be, it is something I just can’t get mad at, as it knows what it is, and it isn’t ashamed of it. I guess I’ll just have to be ashamed of it for both of us.
The story is, on its surface, a basic love story, as you are primarily meant to find a way to get John and Jane, the two most generic protagonists ever, to fall in love, which may seem boring, but don’t worry, as there are plenty of events and circumstances that will arise that will get in the way of all this, while also making you question what the fuck you are even looking at, the graphics are……. well, can I even call them graphics, as for most of the game, it just consists of a bunch of still images that “detail” what is happening at that point, which makes no sense, considering there is a full video at the beginning of the game, so why couldn’t the rest of the game be like that, the music is… something to say the least, with none of the tracks fitting what is happening in the game, and all of them being terrible, the control is just, like, two buttons or so, with one being to select a choice, and the others being to swap between them, and the “gameplay” is pretty much what you would get out of a visual novel, but this isn’t a visual novel, so it doesn’t work at all, and it baffles my mind.
This… thing is something I guess you could pretend is a visual novel, where you have to watch the story as it goes on, and at points in the “game”, you are given the option to choose what happens at that point in the story, and… that is pretty much it. There is no other gameplay, interactivity, or anything of the sort. You just press a button at certain points, and watch it all unfold. So, what exactly does unfold in the story of Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties? Well, only the most uncomfortable and poorly constructed love story imaginable, which involves things like a narrator that constantly interrupts the story to tell you how much of a disgusting piece of shit you are (takes one to know one, buddy), a bunch of unnecessary filters that plague many of the images and make it all a complete eyesore, graphics, effects, and transitions that look like they were made on either Microsoft Paint or a PowerPoint presentation, and a bunch of random elements placed everywhere that I can only assume were meant to confuse the fuck out of you and do nothing else. And not to mention, on top of that, there is also the fact that the entire conflict in the game centers around an act of workplace/sexual harassment, which leaves us with something definitely shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and makes me wanna actually a get a copy of this game and destroy it.
It absolutely boggles my mind that something like this even exists at all. No matter how much I watch it on YouTube (because lord knows I am never going to “play” it again), I just can’t for the life of me imagine what the purpose of this “game” was, or even who it was made for. Was it made for gamers? No, because there is no gameplay to speak of, so nobody is gonna want to try to play it. Was it made for people who wanna get their rocks off? No, because who the hell is gonna get aroused by a bunch of low-quality images slapped together on a slideshow reel? Was it made for absolutely nobody? No, because anybody who does know about it still ends up confusingly fascinated by it, so there must be some reason that it exists, but I can’t find it! And yet, somehow, it ends up getting a rerelease on modern consoles that was distributed just one or two months ago, because as we all know, this is DEFINITELY the best way to spend the $35 dollars that I had just lying around. I was just gonna burn it all and snort the ashes, but nonononono, CLEARLY I need to use it to put this thing onto my Switch and infect it for the rest of its life.
And yet, somehow, after all this time of knowing about and having “played” it myself… I can’t bring myself to hate it. Yes, it is horrible in every conceivable way, and the fact that it was sold for money TWICE is an absolute crime against nature, and yet, when you take a look at the product itself, you can see just how much it really doesn’t give a shit. It will do whatever it wants whenever it feels like during the story, and you kinda just have to go along with it. Wanna have the narrator wear a chicken mask, and also fight some random other person at one point, even going as far as to kill them? Sure, why not? Wanna have a blooper in the middle of an “intense” scene? Be my guest! Wanna put a random PNG of a cartoon raccoon driving a go-kart in a bunch of random places for no reason? But of course! Nothing makes sense in Toontown! All of these things are actually in the "game", and it turns it all into what I can only describe as a fever dream, and at this point, I am ready to just fully embrace whatever this thing is and stop questioning logic. Common sense is for the weak, and I am tired of being weak.
Overall, despite the fact that it has some sort of insane appeal, this is still one of the worst things that has ever been made by human hands, and it has forever poisoned the minds of many, including myself. If you have somehow gone long enough without “playing” or watching it for yourself, do yourself a favor and don’t do it. Yeah, it may be fun for a bit, but it really doesn’t warrant any more attention than anyone, including myself, has already given it. But, before we go and forget this thing ever existed, I just wanna point out one more thing: the title is a FUCKING LIE, because there is a “scene” in the game that has John, who just so happens to be a plumber, wearing a tie. You can’t even get a title for this game that isn’t messing with you.
“Game” #405
They dared to change, just like Simon dared to rid himself of Dracula's affliction in the face of ridicule by his fellow townsfolk.
At the approach of midnight, I began my journey home, my boots trudging through the mud as I pumped my fists to the Dance of Monsters. The chill of the wind rustles through the trees as I keep myself at the ready, for any moment the skeleton or wolfman could walk out from the brush begging for death's sweet release by the hand of my mighty whip passed down to me by my ancestors. Upon entry to town the sunrise brings about temporary peace, wherein I decide to visit the local grocery and throw my bottled water at it's floor to reveal the garlic salesman hiding underneath the floorboards from minions of the Count who has decreed that garlic was illegal.
Perhaps I'm obsessed with the idea of pretending to be Simon, perhaps he really is just the world's biggest badass being able to beat Dracula by himself and then again later while he's dying of a curse placed on him by the same guy. You think I wouldn't want to role play as him?
A color palette of putrid dilapidation, reminiscent of Hammer horror films, a land that continues to be ravaged by monsters chaotically stalking about despite the Count's destruction. Simon himself now as pale as a ghost due to the curse that has been sapping away at him for the past seven years, a depressing tone for what should've been a peaceful reconstruction after our past victory. The last town in the game Ghulash is completely monochrome in color with only one person residing in it, showcasing the devastation that has expanded from Dracula's castle. The townsfolk talk in riddles and lies, done in either genuine good faith or as an act of sabotage to keep Simon from completing his quest for fear of Dracula's early return. The ringing of tears flowing from a ballroom mask echo across the land, a most legendary composition.
They say if you wish to follow up perfection, then you better hit strong, differently, or both.
As I have once said before, a game that becomes more enjoyable the more you replay is but a sign of perfection. For the original Castlevania it became more enjoyable as I grew quicker at conquering it from sheer skill, and for Simon's Quest it became more enjoyable as I grew more wary of it's tricks. Instead of a test of strength, it is a test of shrewdness and clever understanding. Whereas the original opted to try and beat you into the grave, Simon's Quest looks to baffle you with illusions and misdirection. Typos appaering, translations such as the Fist of the North Star reference getting turned into a weird shout out to the Galactic Empire's infamous space station, and signs of a rushed development seem to only help it, perhaps it is perfectly imperfect. A perfect sibling to what was a perfect game.
Maybe I am obsessed, maybe Dracula exists and he put a curse on me to forever defend Simon's Quest from the never ending ridicule that comes it's way thanks to videos that were made for humor back in the times of the ancients. Simon's last adventure now cursed to being used as the butt of a joke, and constantly used as a punching bag by armchair game designers. Those who hate are numerous, and me and my fellow Simon supporters are small in number, but we are steadfast and strong in our beliefs. We stand together in the face of hostility and look onward at the army in front of us, I unsheathe my whip, brandishing it in hand and turn to my allies with but two quiet words, "For Simon", I rush into the ensuing battle leading the charge into our forever war.
Our battle is never over, but despite our curse we forever fight to the bitter end just as a Belmont would.
At the approach of midnight, I began my journey home, my boots trudging through the mud as I pumped my fists to the Dance of Monsters. The chill of the wind rustles through the trees as I keep myself at the ready, for any moment the skeleton or wolfman could walk out from the brush begging for death's sweet release by the hand of my mighty whip passed down to me by my ancestors. Upon entry to town the sunrise brings about temporary peace, wherein I decide to visit the local grocery and throw my bottled water at it's floor to reveal the garlic salesman hiding underneath the floorboards from minions of the Count who has decreed that garlic was illegal.
Perhaps I'm obsessed with the idea of pretending to be Simon, perhaps he really is just the world's biggest badass being able to beat Dracula by himself and then again later while he's dying of a curse placed on him by the same guy. You think I wouldn't want to role play as him?
A color palette of putrid dilapidation, reminiscent of Hammer horror films, a land that continues to be ravaged by monsters chaotically stalking about despite the Count's destruction. Simon himself now as pale as a ghost due to the curse that has been sapping away at him for the past seven years, a depressing tone for what should've been a peaceful reconstruction after our past victory. The last town in the game Ghulash is completely monochrome in color with only one person residing in it, showcasing the devastation that has expanded from Dracula's castle. The townsfolk talk in riddles and lies, done in either genuine good faith or as an act of sabotage to keep Simon from completing his quest for fear of Dracula's early return. The ringing of tears flowing from a ballroom mask echo across the land, a most legendary composition.
They say if you wish to follow up perfection, then you better hit strong, differently, or both.
As I have once said before, a game that becomes more enjoyable the more you replay is but a sign of perfection. For the original Castlevania it became more enjoyable as I grew quicker at conquering it from sheer skill, and for Simon's Quest it became more enjoyable as I grew more wary of it's tricks. Instead of a test of strength, it is a test of shrewdness and clever understanding. Whereas the original opted to try and beat you into the grave, Simon's Quest looks to baffle you with illusions and misdirection. Typos appaering, translations such as the Fist of the North Star reference getting turned into a weird shout out to the Galactic Empire's infamous space station, and signs of a rushed development seem to only help it, perhaps it is perfectly imperfect. A perfect sibling to what was a perfect game.
Maybe I am obsessed, maybe Dracula exists and he put a curse on me to forever defend Simon's Quest from the never ending ridicule that comes it's way thanks to videos that were made for humor back in the times of the ancients. Simon's last adventure now cursed to being used as the butt of a joke, and constantly used as a punching bag by armchair game designers. Those who hate are numerous, and me and my fellow Simon supporters are small in number, but we are steadfast and strong in our beliefs. We stand together in the face of hostility and look onward at the army in front of us, I unsheathe my whip, brandishing it in hand and turn to my allies with but two quiet words, "For Simon", I rush into the ensuing battle leading the charge into our forever war.
Our battle is never over, but despite our curse we forever fight to the bitter end just as a Belmont would.
Another great entry in the series but play the Redaction hack for a more solid Castlevania experience.
I would dare to call it a hidden gem for the GBA. Wasn't released outside JP, but there is a decent full fan translation so you can enjoy it. It's a pretty solid JRPG with a curious way to manage magic (You need to craft magic stones) and the story is quite decent.
The world has a lot of detail in its story and you can arrive the end in so many ways, though that's a problem sometimes, when you can't think of what to do next.
The world has a lot of detail in its story and you can arrive the end in so many ways, though that's a problem sometimes, when you can't think of what to do next.
Super Mario RPG
2023
i think it says something about me that this was the only game I played in 2023 to actually make me cry like a bitch
a game i played for the first time in like 2013-14 or smth
yeah its over for me LMAO
nintendo please make another new good mario rpg game again i need some good fuckin food
a game i played for the first time in like 2013-14 or smth
yeah its over for me LMAO
nintendo please make another new good mario rpg game again i need some good fuckin food
Super Mario RPG
2023
Just started digging into this game but I'll say now that it's a very lovingly crafted remake. Everything has been redone to simulate the feel of the original on new tech. All the animation gags have been painstakingly recreated and they still work for being cute and funny. Kids will love this game. Adults will find entertainment beyond nostalgia as there is some difficulty in boss fights; and I don't know if this was in the original, but items are capped out to prevent ultra hoarding and cheesing with items.
I know a couple studios had their hands on this, but I would watch all of them very closely because the benchmark of quality is so superb I have nothing to say about it.
They did it. They did not fuck this thing up. Geno is here. Peach's dildo is still here. The magic is still here!
I'm playing on Yuzu on Steam Deck, but I know there is performance issues on original hardware (there is no stuttering on Deck).
I know a couple studios had their hands on this, but I would watch all of them very closely because the benchmark of quality is so superb I have nothing to say about it.
They did it. They did not fuck this thing up. Geno is here. Peach's dildo is still here. The magic is still here!
I'm playing on Yuzu on Steam Deck, but I know there is performance issues on original hardware (there is no stuttering on Deck).
Super Smash Bros.
1999
I mean, it's the original smash bros. Fun game to see nintendo characters who usually wouldn't collide into each other duke it out.
Resident Evil
2014
This game is so cool, I never played anything like it. This is my first Survival Horror game I ever finished and it was a treat, it made me buy every other game in the franchise. I was really afraid I was gonna run out of saves/ammo or whatever and I was not gonna enjoy it at all, but having situations where I can manage my ammo, and remember the mansions layout is so satisfying. Amazing game.
Amorous
2018
I 100% this game after like 5 years... this is not a bad game at all and I'm forced to defend it with my life.
Spiritfarer
2020
I think Spiritfarer's greatest strength is being able to wield the specificity of its characters' lives and the real life stories of grief that they take inspiration from whilst also remaining quite universal. Though, in a rather morbid way, I think one's mileage with Spiritfarer will vary mostly by one's life experiences with the subject matter. That's not to say that the storylines are hollow without being able to relate to them, some of my favourite characters in Spiritfarer are meant to serve as catharsis for a particular type of grief I'm simply not familiar with on that level.
This is all to say, one story in particular has had a more profound impact on me in a way that I think would simply not work quite as well if I hadn't lost a loved one in the way that I did.
I am going to put a spoiler warning here, though first of all, I obviously recommend the game if that wasn't clear; and second of all, go and read Drax's Excellent piece on the game, which is genuinely my favourite write-up about spiritfarer on the site, and maybe even the entire web.
I want to talk about Atul. A few days ago a friend of mine @MrCanilla finished his playthrough and wrote a thoughtful piece on it which I enjoyed (and the shoutout was nice too, lol). I then reflected on my original piece on the game and I wasn't very happy with it. So I replayed Spiritfarer and quickly dispelled the idea in my head that there was no way the emotional impact would be as effective on a second go. But the main reason Im writing this is because I never talked about Atul, and that surprises me, because it sat on my mind for a while when I originally played Spiritfarer in 2021.
Atul is a jolly Frog spirit you pick up as one of the first spirits you can ferry to the afterlife. He's the world's least picky eater, he's a handyman who runs the sawmill and breaks out into song, one of my favourites : thunder harvest. He asks you to go on a pretty long and arduous quest to feed him various foods which remind him of memories of his family, which he misses. As you get to know him you realize that behind his jolly facade is a real void, a void that he may be filling with food, judging by his appetite.
The real turn comes when his quest advances to organizing a big dinner for everyone on board, another set of food quests to make a big feast. Then as you go back to the ship and go to sleep, you realize the next morning that Atul is simply not there anymore. And I may be misremembering, because originally I played a much earlier version of the game, but I think originally that was it, you went to his room and found the spiritflower, the symbol left behind by the spirits in their quarters after they are ferried to the everdoor. On replay though, it seems there is a bit more clarification, with characters confirming quite plainly that Atul simply left. I am rather conflicted on this "QOL?" decision for reasons I will explain at the end.
You see, up until that point in the game (and they made damn sure that Atul's quest cannot be finished before sending at least 3 or 4 spirits I think to the everdoor) the game had established a sort of routine. Relating to the main thrust of the game being essentially the experiences of a palliative care nurse who would take care of patients in what little time they had left, all of the spirits follow the pattern of seeing off a dying relative, the spirits gathering around when taking their fellow to the everdoor analogous to gathering around a deathbed, as Drax pointed out. It doesn't get easier but it does follow a pattern; you take the spirit to the everdoor, they have some parting words somewhat concluding their storyline and then you cry and they leave forever.
Atul, however, simply leaves, utterly subverting the established pattern brilliantly. My reaction and many others was that of utter confusion : "What? What the hell? Where did he go? I didn't even get to say goodbye! That's not how it was supposed to go?" to anger "how could he leave without saying goodbye! How could he do this to me?". I simply couldn't believe it. In the case of Atul, there is some implication given his character arc that he simply didnt want to make Stella sad and went to the Everdoor himself, characteristic of his personality, but there is also an implication in my mind that this may well be Stella and by extension the audience trying to make sense of that which has none. And sometimes our loved ones will leave us without the chance to make peace or say one final goodbye, and we kind of just have to live with it and make what time with them count.
The reason this was all so devastating is that with a simple upending of established mechanics, spiritfarer pulled me back to 2018 and the exact emotional reaction I felt when my father unexpectedly past away. Without getting into needless details, it was simply an accident, one of tragically countless which happen every day. I was studying abroad at the time and got a call from my mother on an evening that was until then utterly mundane, I think I was planning on playing skyrim and procrastinating on work as I always did back then. Unbeknownst to me my Father had already passed when I received the call, but I was just told he was in the ICU and to get home ASAP. I hurried to the airport as fast as I could to take a late night flight back home. Looking back I am almost thankful for the eventful trip which took my mind off it all, getting lost and without battery in central london until some helpful people pointed me in the right direction, talking to a tourist on the plane, etc.
But of course when I landed I got the news. It was quite surreal, in a way. Now, I don't think anyone is fully prepared to lose a loved one ever, but when someone young and healthy leaves in such a fashion it makes you question a lot of things. And my Dad was not all that similar to Atul, personality wise, but much like the sawmill he used reminds you of Atul even when he's gone and you miss his supply of planks and all the other helpful activities he would do like most spirits in the game, I realized a few weeks later when I started to cycle again, that I was going to finally have to learn how to change tyres by myself. A sad reminder of who I lost but also an important lesson to move on and to let life's hardships as well as its good times serve as lessons. Its been 5 years now, and though this replay may have resurfaced a few bits, I am doing well, And I can confidently say that Spiritfarer is still a great game which accomplishes with its mechanics what couldnt be accomplished in a different medium. Its personally inspiring to me genuinely.
I must say, playing Spiritfarer in 2023 makes me think we should mandate Minecraft's version history system into every single game, because I think Spiritfarer 2020 was a great game which was a little padded and could have ended a bit earlier than it did, and lo and behold that's even more so the case now. In principle, I understand why they clarified a bit more on Atul, even if it robs it of the full impact of the utter confusion and shock it was originally intended to convey. However, if you are one of the people who complained enough about it that they added the option to turn off the Bus stop music, we cannot be friends; and I will see you in hell. And I have the sneaking suspicion that the new spirits were always supposed to be there in the original version but were cut due to time constraints and later added in, in which case I can see why they were chosen to be cut out of all of them, I'm sorry. They're not awful, but y'know.
Anyways, I don't know If I have much of conclusion beyond the obvious plea to love those closest to you and live a life you won't regret, so let's idk share our favourite spiritfarer tracks in the comments. Have a good one
This is all to say, one story in particular has had a more profound impact on me in a way that I think would simply not work quite as well if I hadn't lost a loved one in the way that I did.
I am going to put a spoiler warning here, though first of all, I obviously recommend the game if that wasn't clear; and second of all, go and read Drax's Excellent piece on the game, which is genuinely my favourite write-up about spiritfarer on the site, and maybe even the entire web.
I want to talk about Atul. A few days ago a friend of mine @MrCanilla finished his playthrough and wrote a thoughtful piece on it which I enjoyed (and the shoutout was nice too, lol). I then reflected on my original piece on the game and I wasn't very happy with it. So I replayed Spiritfarer and quickly dispelled the idea in my head that there was no way the emotional impact would be as effective on a second go. But the main reason Im writing this is because I never talked about Atul, and that surprises me, because it sat on my mind for a while when I originally played Spiritfarer in 2021.
Atul is a jolly Frog spirit you pick up as one of the first spirits you can ferry to the afterlife. He's the world's least picky eater, he's a handyman who runs the sawmill and breaks out into song, one of my favourites : thunder harvest. He asks you to go on a pretty long and arduous quest to feed him various foods which remind him of memories of his family, which he misses. As you get to know him you realize that behind his jolly facade is a real void, a void that he may be filling with food, judging by his appetite.
The real turn comes when his quest advances to organizing a big dinner for everyone on board, another set of food quests to make a big feast. Then as you go back to the ship and go to sleep, you realize the next morning that Atul is simply not there anymore. And I may be misremembering, because originally I played a much earlier version of the game, but I think originally that was it, you went to his room and found the spiritflower, the symbol left behind by the spirits in their quarters after they are ferried to the everdoor. On replay though, it seems there is a bit more clarification, with characters confirming quite plainly that Atul simply left. I am rather conflicted on this "QOL?" decision for reasons I will explain at the end.
You see, up until that point in the game (and they made damn sure that Atul's quest cannot be finished before sending at least 3 or 4 spirits I think to the everdoor) the game had established a sort of routine. Relating to the main thrust of the game being essentially the experiences of a palliative care nurse who would take care of patients in what little time they had left, all of the spirits follow the pattern of seeing off a dying relative, the spirits gathering around when taking their fellow to the everdoor analogous to gathering around a deathbed, as Drax pointed out. It doesn't get easier but it does follow a pattern; you take the spirit to the everdoor, they have some parting words somewhat concluding their storyline and then you cry and they leave forever.
Atul, however, simply leaves, utterly subverting the established pattern brilliantly. My reaction and many others was that of utter confusion : "What? What the hell? Where did he go? I didn't even get to say goodbye! That's not how it was supposed to go?" to anger "how could he leave without saying goodbye! How could he do this to me?". I simply couldn't believe it. In the case of Atul, there is some implication given his character arc that he simply didnt want to make Stella sad and went to the Everdoor himself, characteristic of his personality, but there is also an implication in my mind that this may well be Stella and by extension the audience trying to make sense of that which has none. And sometimes our loved ones will leave us without the chance to make peace or say one final goodbye, and we kind of just have to live with it and make what time with them count.
The reason this was all so devastating is that with a simple upending of established mechanics, spiritfarer pulled me back to 2018 and the exact emotional reaction I felt when my father unexpectedly past away. Without getting into needless details, it was simply an accident, one of tragically countless which happen every day. I was studying abroad at the time and got a call from my mother on an evening that was until then utterly mundane, I think I was planning on playing skyrim and procrastinating on work as I always did back then. Unbeknownst to me my Father had already passed when I received the call, but I was just told he was in the ICU and to get home ASAP. I hurried to the airport as fast as I could to take a late night flight back home. Looking back I am almost thankful for the eventful trip which took my mind off it all, getting lost and without battery in central london until some helpful people pointed me in the right direction, talking to a tourist on the plane, etc.
But of course when I landed I got the news. It was quite surreal, in a way. Now, I don't think anyone is fully prepared to lose a loved one ever, but when someone young and healthy leaves in such a fashion it makes you question a lot of things. And my Dad was not all that similar to Atul, personality wise, but much like the sawmill he used reminds you of Atul even when he's gone and you miss his supply of planks and all the other helpful activities he would do like most spirits in the game, I realized a few weeks later when I started to cycle again, that I was going to finally have to learn how to change tyres by myself. A sad reminder of who I lost but also an important lesson to move on and to let life's hardships as well as its good times serve as lessons. Its been 5 years now, and though this replay may have resurfaced a few bits, I am doing well, And I can confidently say that Spiritfarer is still a great game which accomplishes with its mechanics what couldnt be accomplished in a different medium. Its personally inspiring to me genuinely.
I must say, playing Spiritfarer in 2023 makes me think we should mandate Minecraft's version history system into every single game, because I think Spiritfarer 2020 was a great game which was a little padded and could have ended a bit earlier than it did, and lo and behold that's even more so the case now. In principle, I understand why they clarified a bit more on Atul, even if it robs it of the full impact of the utter confusion and shock it was originally intended to convey. However, if you are one of the people who complained enough about it that they added the option to turn off the Bus stop music, we cannot be friends; and I will see you in hell. And I have the sneaking suspicion that the new spirits were always supposed to be there in the original version but were cut due to time constraints and later added in, in which case I can see why they were chosen to be cut out of all of them, I'm sorry. They're not awful, but y'know.
Anyways, I don't know If I have much of conclusion beyond the obvious plea to love those closest to you and live a life you won't regret, so let's idk share our favourite spiritfarer tracks in the comments. Have a good one
Anachronox
2001
This review contains spoilers
Between the roaring success of Warren Spector's Deus Ex and the embarrassing downfall of John Romero's Daikatana, the third pillar of Ion Storm, Tom Hall, managed to find a different fate altogether for his game, that being obscurity.
There's something poetic about these three pieces and how wildly different the history of each one is, but while people talk to no end about Anachronox's older brothers, no one seems to remember this RPG epic.
Cards on the table, I went into it expressely with the intent of finding something to love about it, an approach I've been trying to apply more and more as my understanding of game development deepens over time. Still, I was pleasantly surprised by how, in the end, it didn't really make me dig for that something. There is plenty of good in Anachronox.
Admittedly it's not an amazing game, it radiates the energy of a project spawned from Tom Hall going on a massive Final Fantasy 7 bender in '97 and deciding to make something comparable.
As far as inspirations go, FF7 is sure a great one, but Anachronox doesn't quite stick the landing as elegantly.
Still, if anything, it manages to be extremely unique despite wearing its JRPG influence on its sleeve, being the one true Western JRPG as I like to call it.
Sylvester "Sly" Boots is a washed up private detective living on the alien planet of Anachronox, which is surrounded by a sort of spiked ball that has wormholes at each tip for various destinations across the galaxy.
Being a sort of huge trade center, Anachronox is naturally a pretty shitty place to live, a cyberpunk dystopia of smoke and dark skies where the rich live on an elevated layer from the poor.
While that is almost Final Fantasy 7 verbatim, the tone of the writing here is markedly more sarcastic and adult.
Adult in the "Isn't it fucked old Bertha had to amputate and sell her legs to cover the fees of her nephew's tuition?" kind of way, the way that's hyperbolic yet not far off from what we see here on Earth.
It manages to be genuinely funny in multiple occasions, with some scenes getting the odd belly laugh out of me while sitting alone in my room. Great stuff.
The story kicks in like 10 hours in, in proper JRPG fashion, after leaving Anachronox and witnessing a whole planet get inexplicably rended in half and deleted, our party being the sole survivors of this disaster, destined to become the universe's saviors.
Mechanically, I can make it sound interesting through words, I can tell you that the overworld exploration and progression is handled similarly to a 3D point-and-click adventure game, where reading dialogue and figuring out what to do through logical steps is key and the puzzles make sense, with collectibles scattered around the map.
I can tell you that the combat is FF7 inspired ATB, complete with unlockable limit breaks and a materia-lite system, and that encounters are scripted around the map like Chrono Trigger and not random.
But saying this honestly makes the game you might be picturing in your head sound better than what the reality of Anachronox is, and that's that 3D environments aren't really that fun to explore when all you can do is walk everywhere kind of slowly and regularly take multiple elevators to run errands around the map, and the MysTech magic system is heavily railroaded by characters only really being good at using one specific type, with the combat being very much a formality and incredibly simple.
Despite the game ending up less than the sum of its parts, there is a surprising amount of worldbuilding, and you can tell the people behind it really cared about the universe of Anachronox.
From Democratus, home to a bickering parody of council politics, to Haephestus, inhabited by religious monks who hastily build a theme park after the disaster awakens all the MysTech in the universe and makes it a hot tourist location, the narrative arcs marked by each planet are incredibly strong at making this feel like a truly varied and outlandish universe.
My absolute favorite bit in this whole game was saving Democratus from an invading alien wasp asteroid, leaving it behind as every person in charge of running that planet was evidently an insane democracy fetishist, and then witnessing this feverish scene of the WHOLE ASS PLANET pulling up into the bar you crashed at as a miniaturized version of itself (democratically shrunken down to follow our heroes) and joining your party as a playable character.
This shit just doesn't happen in other games man.
You probably get to know Democratus better than any other party member too, as later on in the story the planet is forced to return to its original size, and your party gets scattered on different zones of the surface, each going through their own solo mini-adventure in the varied locations of Democratus, and I mean truly varied. Some characters get stuck in a desert where soldiers are stationed, others in a forest reminiscent of Star Wars' Endor, or an icy, snow-swept town in the middle of a string of murders. Every party member has a possible substory here (well, except Democratus of course), and you only get to pick 3, so you'll never see them all by design, which is sort of neat.
It's common in videogames that use space travel to generalize a single planet as a sort of monolith, like "this is the fire planet" or "this is the science planet", but Democratus truly escapes this stereotyping, presenting various coexisting facets of the same world, extremely different but all part of the same démos.
I also ended up really liking what the antagonist really is, which, in a development I can't tell if it's giving nod to the original Final Fantasy or not, ends up being Chaos.
The Limbus part of the game lets us confront the forces of Chaos directly, before heading back to Anachronox for the grand finale against Detta, the crimelord turned billionaire that ruined Sly's life years ago, who we need to steal from in order to seal the portal that allows the forces of Chaos to attack the universe.
The saddest part is that, right as the game ends on a massive plot twist regarding one of your party members, and as the battle against Chaos is beginning in full, it ends.
Anachronox was meant to be developed across multiple games, but the collapse of Ion Storm and the failure on the part of Tom Hall to acquire the rights to it leave us with just the beginning of this space opera and the unfulfilled promise of much more.
Not too long ago I asked if Hall himself had any plans to return to Anachronox, and it seems like hope may yet remain.
So let us see if the forgotten third wheel of Ion Storm may one day finally earn the recognition it deserves for its uniqueness and inventiveness, this one-of-a-kind world sprung from the collision of JRPGs and WRPGs. I know it deserves it.
There's something poetic about these three pieces and how wildly different the history of each one is, but while people talk to no end about Anachronox's older brothers, no one seems to remember this RPG epic.
Cards on the table, I went into it expressely with the intent of finding something to love about it, an approach I've been trying to apply more and more as my understanding of game development deepens over time. Still, I was pleasantly surprised by how, in the end, it didn't really make me dig for that something. There is plenty of good in Anachronox.
Admittedly it's not an amazing game, it radiates the energy of a project spawned from Tom Hall going on a massive Final Fantasy 7 bender in '97 and deciding to make something comparable.
As far as inspirations go, FF7 is sure a great one, but Anachronox doesn't quite stick the landing as elegantly.
Still, if anything, it manages to be extremely unique despite wearing its JRPG influence on its sleeve, being the one true Western JRPG as I like to call it.
Sylvester "Sly" Boots is a washed up private detective living on the alien planet of Anachronox, which is surrounded by a sort of spiked ball that has wormholes at each tip for various destinations across the galaxy.
Being a sort of huge trade center, Anachronox is naturally a pretty shitty place to live, a cyberpunk dystopia of smoke and dark skies where the rich live on an elevated layer from the poor.
While that is almost Final Fantasy 7 verbatim, the tone of the writing here is markedly more sarcastic and adult.
Adult in the "Isn't it fucked old Bertha had to amputate and sell her legs to cover the fees of her nephew's tuition?" kind of way, the way that's hyperbolic yet not far off from what we see here on Earth.
It manages to be genuinely funny in multiple occasions, with some scenes getting the odd belly laugh out of me while sitting alone in my room. Great stuff.
The story kicks in like 10 hours in, in proper JRPG fashion, after leaving Anachronox and witnessing a whole planet get inexplicably rended in half and deleted, our party being the sole survivors of this disaster, destined to become the universe's saviors.
Mechanically, I can make it sound interesting through words, I can tell you that the overworld exploration and progression is handled similarly to a 3D point-and-click adventure game, where reading dialogue and figuring out what to do through logical steps is key and the puzzles make sense, with collectibles scattered around the map.
I can tell you that the combat is FF7 inspired ATB, complete with unlockable limit breaks and a materia-lite system, and that encounters are scripted around the map like Chrono Trigger and not random.
But saying this honestly makes the game you might be picturing in your head sound better than what the reality of Anachronox is, and that's that 3D environments aren't really that fun to explore when all you can do is walk everywhere kind of slowly and regularly take multiple elevators to run errands around the map, and the MysTech magic system is heavily railroaded by characters only really being good at using one specific type, with the combat being very much a formality and incredibly simple.
Despite the game ending up less than the sum of its parts, there is a surprising amount of worldbuilding, and you can tell the people behind it really cared about the universe of Anachronox.
From Democratus, home to a bickering parody of council politics, to Haephestus, inhabited by religious monks who hastily build a theme park after the disaster awakens all the MysTech in the universe and makes it a hot tourist location, the narrative arcs marked by each planet are incredibly strong at making this feel like a truly varied and outlandish universe.
My absolute favorite bit in this whole game was saving Democratus from an invading alien wasp asteroid, leaving it behind as every person in charge of running that planet was evidently an insane democracy fetishist, and then witnessing this feverish scene of the WHOLE ASS PLANET pulling up into the bar you crashed at as a miniaturized version of itself (democratically shrunken down to follow our heroes) and joining your party as a playable character.
This shit just doesn't happen in other games man.
You probably get to know Democratus better than any other party member too, as later on in the story the planet is forced to return to its original size, and your party gets scattered on different zones of the surface, each going through their own solo mini-adventure in the varied locations of Democratus, and I mean truly varied. Some characters get stuck in a desert where soldiers are stationed, others in a forest reminiscent of Star Wars' Endor, or an icy, snow-swept town in the middle of a string of murders. Every party member has a possible substory here (well, except Democratus of course), and you only get to pick 3, so you'll never see them all by design, which is sort of neat.
It's common in videogames that use space travel to generalize a single planet as a sort of monolith, like "this is the fire planet" or "this is the science planet", but Democratus truly escapes this stereotyping, presenting various coexisting facets of the same world, extremely different but all part of the same démos.
I also ended up really liking what the antagonist really is, which, in a development I can't tell if it's giving nod to the original Final Fantasy or not, ends up being Chaos.
The Limbus part of the game lets us confront the forces of Chaos directly, before heading back to Anachronox for the grand finale against Detta, the crimelord turned billionaire that ruined Sly's life years ago, who we need to steal from in order to seal the portal that allows the forces of Chaos to attack the universe.
The saddest part is that, right as the game ends on a massive plot twist regarding one of your party members, and as the battle against Chaos is beginning in full, it ends.
Anachronox was meant to be developed across multiple games, but the collapse of Ion Storm and the failure on the part of Tom Hall to acquire the rights to it leave us with just the beginning of this space opera and the unfulfilled promise of much more.
Not too long ago I asked if Hall himself had any plans to return to Anachronox, and it seems like hope may yet remain.
So let us see if the forgotten third wheel of Ion Storm may one day finally earn the recognition it deserves for its uniqueness and inventiveness, this one-of-a-kind world sprung from the collision of JRPGs and WRPGs. I know it deserves it.