features an impossibly generous depiction of a future san francisco, which is depicted as clean and technologically progressive; i guaranfuckingtee you that by 2064 the city will be a disgusting shit-scented garbage island run by ruthless mad-max style rival tribes based on their district of origin before it is inevitably destroyed by the war between soma's cannibal techno-yuppies and the mission's anarcho-queer doomsday cult. (the upper class will have long left the surface behind in the salesforce tower, which now hovers over the remains of the city, its occupants laughing and clinking glasses of champagne together as they watch the trash pyre at pacific heights burn)

So I was browsing away on here and came across Detchibe's list called "Against the Grain", it was about games they had differing opinions on from the norm. Kindly ignoring the Castlevania: The Adventure entry, I took notice in the appearance of Altered Beast. Instantly I was reminded of the overbearing negativity some seem to have for this title, it was as if Altered Beast had stolen Christmas and punched their mothers square in the jaw. I would hear suggestions that this should sit on the bench of shame and rub elbows with the likes of Bubsy 3D and Superman 64, which is completely insane to me. As always it's not great to hear someone take a massive dump on one of the many games of your childhood, but it kinda hurts a ton more when it's a common opinion and not some random shitter or a Netflix-browsing troll with a wordpress doing their best Armond White impersonation.

Don't get the wrong idea, I don't think Altered Beast could last even ten seconds against Bare Knuckle III or that it would even get close to a Top 50 for my personal favorite Genesis games list, but the idea that it's "one of the worst ever" just confounds me beyond all words. Curious as always, I decided to boot up my crappy loose copy of Altered Beast that somehow still functions and gave it a spin on the ol' 16-BIT machine. It was time to rescue Zeus' daughter once again.

I played it, rose fwom my gwave, punched out some zambambos, powered up, beat it and mildly enjoyed myself.

So what's the problem here? What am I missing?

Did you boot up the game on an emulator for a minute, get your ass kicked and proclaim the game sucked and ragequit? Did the sight of the man turning into a wolf trigger your crappy anti-furry kneejerk reaction? Did you forget to press B while fighting the eyeball monster? Were you filtered by the adorable little dragon riding the fireball orb? Was your ass thoroughly handed to you by the mean rhino man at the end of the game? It's one thing if it simply isn't your cup of coffee, but to proclaim it one of the worst ever is a tad much.

Just absolutely strange to me. It's not the highest praise, but this is easily one of the better pre-Final Fight beat'em ups and I will hear nothing else. I suggest playing Heavy Nova for five seconds, you'll be singing Altered Beast's praises and begging for forgiveness in no time. Now I'm gonna go ahead and implement something that the kids quite enjoy, which will be my verdict for those who apply their worst rating to a memorable game that is a big part of the Genesis's history:

clears throat

Skill issue.

Good story
Good characters
Good locations
THE JOB SYSTEM
and as always, pixel remaster makes everything better.