Down the winding forest path leading deep into the woods, the blue, green, and orange van sputtered as it made contact with the road’s various protrusions; that is to say, if it could even be called a “road” at all. Perhaps another word would better suit the zig-zagging trail of dirt stretching into the heart of that interminable tree line.

Grinding to a halt in front of a large, peculiar mansion – seemingly displaced from centuries prior – the automobile unceremoniously gave up the ghost.

“Like, where are we?” the young man in the green shirt inquired of his four companions. He was not what one might typically describe as handsome, but there was a certain allure to his lanky appendages, scraggly beard, and… unique voice. It is entirely possible that, with a fair amount of grooming, he could be considered modestly attractive.

“I’m not sure,” replied the man with the orange ascot, “but it seems we lucked out – there’s a large house not twenty yards in front of us!” His cocksure demeanor and optimism instantly made apparent his friend’s lack of masculinity by comparison, though there was something vaguely irritating about the way he spoke.

“Gosh, that sure is a creepy old mansion, though,” interjected the woman wearing a purple mini-dress. She was conventionally beautiful – suspiciously so, in fact – but did not outwardly project any positive traits aside from that. It was obvious from the way she and the previous speaker made eye contact that they were regularly engaging in carnal relations.

Turning to a page in the large textbook she had been lugging around, the bespectacled, orange turtleneck-clad young woman spoke next. “Jinkies! According to the Encyclopedia of Haunted 10th Century Estates, that’s the House in Fata Morgana!” She gave off the impression of being a know-it-all, but not to the point of inherent obnoxiousness; she was simply well-read.

“Ruh rouse in rhat now?” the final passenger of the doomed vehicle asked. This one was not a human at all, but a brown dog covered in black spots. (Though my knowledge of the animal kingdom is embarrassingly limited, my impression is that he was a canine of the Great Dane variety.) None of the other four seemed at all surprised that he could communicate in English, however broken it may have been.

“The House in Fata Morgana,” the bespectacled woman repeated. “It says here that a witch lives there!”

“Wow, that sounds perfect, doesn’t it gang!?” the beascoted man exclaimed in response. He appeared to be the leader of the merry band.

“A r-ritch?” the dog responded, noticeably frightened.

“Now, xxxxxx, everyone knows witches aren’t real!” the woman in purple reassured.

“Oh, and not just any witch – a cursed witch!” the bookish young lady clarified.

“Zoinks! A r-regular witch is bad enough! Like, count me out,” the skinny coward declared, promptly exiting through the back door of the van.

“Reah, me too,” the Great Dane quickly nodded in agreement, following suit. However, the moment his quadrupedal frame touched the ground, he gave a quick glance back toward the mansion, and froze in place. The green shirted-boy was already long gone, dashing down the road.

“What is it, xxxxx?” the leader asked of his faithful hound.

“I… reel rompelled to renter… Romething is rrawing me roward it…” the dog replied in a hushed tone, his voice quivering.

[A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story, please comment and subscribe if you’d like to see more! Sorry this one is so rushed, I only had a few minutes to work on it this week because my grandpa is in the hospital (my dad poisoned him so we could inherit his property, but don’t tell him I found out!). I promise the next one will be better! ^___^]

people talk about this game like it's some groundbreaking, breathtaking, wonderful pinnacle of video games and i really wish i understood that. this game feels really nice to move around in, its visuals are really appealing and its score is pretty cute. but there's not much of a real narrative (or writing at all), no memorable characters, no cool side-quests, no dungeons, a pitiful lack of enemy variety + almost no bosses, and nothing that made exploring feel worthwhile. most of it feels like filler check-list fluff (towers, shrines, koroks). the world is well-designed but there's not much substance inside of it beyond its sandbox elements. i genuinely feel like, insane for not liking this the way people talk about it but i just do not see it personally. it's just okay!

i don't really wanna put a rating on a thing like this, though i kinda wish i could put a <3 on it the way you can with letterboxd. but anyway. this hits very close to home.

i moved back to my original hometown in michigan after living in portland, oregon for about 13 years... at the end of 2019. at the end of a relationship which had lasted for nearly 10 of those years. i stayed with family briefly and then moved into a smallish 1-bedroom apartment that i hate (with my cat, kismet, who i brought home with me because i couldn't stand to leave her (and i wish i could've brought more of my cats with me)).

one big difference (between myself and this game's creator, according to the game itself) is that my mental illness gets in the way of me keeping jobs and i've been unemployed for most of the time since. i'm currently receiving assistance through september, and i need to have some sort of income before then. i also want to move. living alone is killing me.

honestly, i don't even know if i'd still be here without the small irc channel occupied by longtime friends providing me with some sort of anchor. i do wish i could hear people's voices more often, though. one of the things i miss most about living with my ex (and, for a time, a roommate) is that constant source of company. i just need to be near people, even when we're all tending to ourselves, in our own space (within the same space).

my desk is positioned right in front of one of my 2 windows and i have a decent view of trees and sky, but the loneliness is inescapable. i don't live downtown, either, so i rarely feel like going outside unless i have a place to go - otherwise the aimlessness of "going out for a walk" just makes me feel even lonelier.

my cat cries a lot and i think she's lonely and bored. i feel awful about it. i would like to get another cat, but i'm too poor and i pretty much only spend my money, whenever i do have it, on video games and weed. sometimes booze.

writing this isn't actually making me feel any better.

damn it

Yeah, the art style is fantastic, and yeah, the game's just really cute and charming in general, but I want to tell you a story.

Let me tell you a story about enemy level scaling in JRPGs.

No.

One of the tightest and most kinesthetically satisfying 2d platformers I've ever played. Stellar music and artwork an utter joy to experience. Celeste has just the right amount of challenge: equal parts testing your reflexes / re-contextualizing your traversal moveset in new and exciting ways. -1 star for the super patronizing story with the same paperthin motifs of FACING UR ANXIETY AND ACCEPTING URSELF via really embarrassing and trite visual metaphors. Definitely a personal grievance, but as someone who has a lot of these difficulties, I can't help but find stories like this to be nonspecific and a little patronizing. I'm all for thoughtful explorations of anxiety and self sabotage but Celeste is just a bit too saccharine and neatly wrapped up to come across as anything that compelling or useful. if it worked for you that's awesome and i'm jealous! OTHERWISE its a total 10/10 this game rules 2 me

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