Pretty damn fun, grind for Fantina sucks tho
The team:
Infernape (Blaze)
Luxray (Surge)
Staraptor (Falco)
Gardevoir (Tetsuo)
Garchomp (Destoroyah)
Lucario (Gojo)
Featuring: Durty Dan (The Bibarel I used as an HM slave)

(btw all of the nicknames are references, try and guess what they're from ;3)

No shinies on the team, but thats ok. My team was pretty similar to @TheSnuffles so that's cool. We played this together on Discord, so major shoutout to him for helping me through some ungodly and confusing parts (cough cough victory road).

anyways fun game, really happy i loved the game that Lucario came from, since he's one of my fav pokemon ever :D

The simple and humble Pokéwalker; how do you even go about giving this thing a rating?

It's basically just a thing you lug around and you get a bunch of EXP for the Pokemon you store into it... or so I thought, but apparently this tiny pokeball device is more sophisticated than I first thought. You transfer a Pokemon into it through inalambric means, and you can do quite a fair bit with it!
Would you believe me if I said you could fight and catch other Pokemon on this tiny screen? It's true! You can even get some Kanto-locked Pokemon like Murkrow early, that's pretty cool. Bulbapedia has a list dedicated to what Pokemon you can find, and they even use the Pokewalker sprites! If you've ever wondered what some Gen 3+ Pokemon might've looked like in the original Gameboy games, these give you a good idea as to what they might've looked like.
There's also the Item Finder minigame where you can find stuff like Antidotes, but I hardly remember getting anything useful, so I would probably just ignore it; Pokewalker battling is much more fun anyway.

Also, another thing to note: these things last a LONG time. I found my old Pokewalker 3 years ago and it still had juice. I'm 99% sure that whenever the Earth freezes over and aliens come explore the ruins of human society, they'll find a Pokewalker at 80% charge with a Lugia still stored in it. That's how long these small little things last, it's crazy.

So yeah, Pokewalker was a pretty cool novelty.

Colorblindness Rating: A
Much like a GameBoy game, there's only two colors here since it's on an LCD Screen. No issues here.

2D Castlevania flourished on the PS1 as it evolved into it's own type of search action genre with SotN, the N64 had what was supposed to be THE evolution of main Castlevania series into 3D, which unfortunately dropped the ball on it's first go and prematurely killed any momentum this franchise was meant to have with the 3D console games.

Castlevania 64 is not a BAD game per se, it's just a 3D take on Classicvania without any of the sauce that all the Castlevania is known for. Great music? Gone. Cool enemy designs? Gone. Satisfying combat? Gone. Challenging but fun platforming? Gone.
What you have is a very basic 3D game that feels like a student's first video game project. All of the elements of Castlevania are here, it's just all executed very basically resulting an a barebones boring video game that is not terrible, but not good either.

The story itself is similar to almost every other Castlevania at this point. Generations pass, Dracula's back, and a Belmont has to kill Dracula again... But wait you aren't actually a Belmont this time. You have the Vampire Killer whip though... weird. There are a couple of cutscenes and characters you meet along the way, but these are one dimensional surface level characters that don't have the memorability of any of the side characters in SoTN. The story just exists, and doesn't do anything new to elevate itself from the 8/16 bit games the same way SoTN did.

Gameplay-wise, it's a janky 3D platformer that you kind of expect from this era of 3D games. Generally I don't mind the jank as this era is super charming to me, but the camera and lock on system are super awful for a game that requires you to face and hit enemies that are coming at you from all angles. Everything you see from 2D Classicvania is translated to 3D here. You have your jumps, whips, subweapons, whip upgrades - it's just that everything feels really floaty instead of that satisfying weighty feel that the 2D games had. You have a secondary sword weapon that is utterly useless, so you will only be using your whip 90% of the time and your sub weapons 10% of the time. But without the weightiness, all the depth is gone of timing your whip attacks, thus the combat becomes really boring when all it comes down to is just facing your enemy from a nice comfortable distance and using the whip.

The level design is okay. It's mostly kind of linear with branching parts that are needed when you need to solve a puzzle to progress further. But nothing is too compelling. Adding infinite respawning enemies is never ever a good design choice as it just makes you want to run through a section without attacking anything. Also level 5 can go fuck itself and is one of the worst levels I have ever played in any game.

As someone who welcomes 2D games being translated to 3D when it comes to any franchise, I can see why Castlevania fans don't have too much optimism when it comes to the 3D titles. They really dropped the ball with the first 3D game and it makes me want to go play the other Metroidvania games in the series just so I can wash the bad taste this game left me with. Again, it's not a terrible game, but this is not something I would ever play again.

i cant continue any of the games i had originally thought id be playing before vengeance bc im on vacation, so busted out the vita like last year and the first is... PvZ?

ok so i played this one a lot as a kid but could never get past stage 2, always found sun management too hard in those stages. as for how it fares nowadays... i died a total of 4 times, one of which was intentional bc i fucked up. this is not a hard game.

being that i also find bloons rather boring its no surprise for the first 2 stages i was relatively bored, but i realized i couldnt really put it down. i was addicted to beating the game over the past day, in fact it only took me from last night to this morning to beat it. so despite being rather brainless(lol) it was an addicting time, and thats gotta count for something innit? as i played the more fun i had and the less i cared about some of the game's glaring flaws.

the biggest flaw i found was that all 50 levels play the same(or 40 regular levels i guess, not counting mid and end stage 'boss' levels). the night levels initially give the [eco friendly wood] veneer that it changes your playstyle. halfway through i realized that you arent forced to use sunshrooms, since you start with enough sun to plant a sunflower and that significantly ups your sun production faster than the sunshrooms. if you were forced to use the sunshrooms at night that wouldve been a fun handicap, but being that no level slams you right at the beginning its easy to do the same set up in each level, without any trouble. 2 rows of sunflowers in the back, 2-3 rows of attackers, subbing them with stronger attackers as the level goes on, and then walnuts wherever necessary and adjust as needed for unforseen circumstances. also the fact that most of the plants arent super useful, its like that problem with shooters i have but ballooned to a much greater scale here, lol.

something i did enjoy a lot was the vibes of the game. the ost in particular was great, with my favorites being watery grave and of course, the memorable credits sequence with the music video. i listened to this one back in the day and its significantly cheesier and kiddy than i remembered but its still a great, memorable finish which is what i look for in credits sequences. the art is also great, dare i say iconic, i mean youd be hard pressed to find early gen z-er who doesnt know the zombie, sunflower or pea shooter right alongside minecraft steve lol.

pvz is not a hard game, and at some points i found it mind numbingly easy, but i think it's that easy pick up and play style that made it so addicting. if i really thought it was bad, i wouldnt have binged it as hard as i did. so perhaps its not slotted as a 10 or 9 like some of my friends, but it was pretty enjoyable, and thats that.

This review is discussing Bowser's Fury specifically, not Super Mario 3D World which I did review in the past.

As a port, I think Super Mario 3D World on switch is amazing. 3D World is already one of my favorite games but the port makes it even better with minor gameplay changes that add together to truly perfect the game. So all-in-all, I would have been fine if that was all that was added but no. Nintendo developed an entire new game, albeit a very short one, in addition to the base game.

I described Super Mario 3D World as a glorious combination of New Super Mario Bros. U and Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Bowser's Fury is similarly a magical combination of Super Mario 3D World that plays like Super Mario Odyssey and it works shockingly well.

Everything great about 3D World is here but now with a new gameplay loop and loads of new mechanics including Fury Bowser, who might be genuinely the most intimidating version of Bowser in Mario's history.

Instead of a regular "avoid obstacles and reach the flagpole" style that 3D World has, BF treats itself like a single large Kingdom in Super Mario Odyssey full of many unique stages and challenges for you to attempt and it's really refreshing after finishing 3D World.

Another thing that is refreshing after 3D World is the length. Some might argue that it's too short and yes I can see why. (I was able to 100% it in a single afternoon) however that kind of made for a nice change of pace after the gauntlet that the later levels of 3D World became. If Nintendo took this style and turned it into a full game with loads of worlds and gimmicks like Fury Bowser I would absolutely not complain. Everything here works shockingly well.

I'd say even if you played 3D World on Wii U, the switch port is more than worth it for what it adds to the base game but Bowser's Fury pushes it even further to being an absolute must-play for Mario fans.

When I’m in an annoying piece of shit competition and my opponent is this guy. 😱😱😱

Remember that sick CGI teaser at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 that shows off this crazy battle with people in armor we’ve never seen before?? Whoa!! Wouldn’t it be cool to watch it 3 more fucking times?

I’ve been mulling over this one because I did a 100% playthrough of it and I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not I simply do not like this game or if I would just find it mediocre had I not twisted my own asshole doing all of the optional content. While I do love Kingdom Hearts as a series, I am also a realist, and thinking about it long enough has made me come to the conclusion that no actually, I think I just don’t really like this game. It really just comes down to what I get the most enjoyment out of Kingdom Hearts from: a rather heartwarming plot about friends who will go to the ends of the Earth for each other, a decently fun combat system, and challenges that are arguably the better content. Like some of the other handheld counterparts of this series, Birth by Sleep fulfills aspect 1 and never delivers on aspect 2 or 3 for its entire runtime. Had I not 100%’d this, I am genuinely of the belief that I would still find it rather mediocre. All story spoilers and story critiques will be hidden inside of a hyperlink near the end, so don’t worry about that.

So, the story begins….

For the unaware, this is not a game that follows the likes of Sora and his two cannon fodder companions, but is instead a prequel that features three entirely new characters. Each one follows the same exact timeline, just in different perspectives. A tragic story about three friends who get taken advantage of, fighting tooth and nail to keep each other safe. (Wait, we've heard this one before..) With the way it’s set up, it encourages you to play as Terra first. I have a general issue with all of this, but it’s for spoiler talk later. For the sake of structuring this review the best way that I can, let’s just entertain Square’s desires and play as what would be considered to be a sentient boulder with legs first. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Terra blows ass. He’s incredibly strong, but also incredibly slow and bulky, with the worst dodge out of the three characters. There is nothing better than dashing in a straight line and getting eviscerated because the non-cancellable animation is longer than the dodge’s i-frame window. This is something that is manageable through some defense abilities and practice, but he never ever feels great to play because of it. Therefore, it’s kind of like trudging through mud.

Part of me wonders if Terra gets significantly more flack than deserved simply because the game doesn’t really do him any favors when it comes to it’s overall mechanics either. You see, we can’t just learn abilities and finishers through leveling up, like it is in the other games. Naw, we have to make it different! We have to make it a fucking chore. We’re going to attach those abilities to your command attacks, which you have to craft, but we’re never going to tell you the recipe for any of them. Then once you figure that shit out, or use Google (who cares), now you have to level those commands to max level in order to use the ability without having the command in your deck. You want a new finisher? We’re not gonna tell you how to get that shit either. Select one that you already own and either walk around for thousands of steps, kill 800+ or so enemies, or collect thousands of dollars. Fuck you, we’re not gonna tell you which one is which. Oh, but you can’t grind for two of these at the same time, oh no, you can only grind for them if they’re in the same bracket. Meaning that you may have to kill 800 enemies, and then grind for thousands of dollars for two separate finishers. While you sit and figure this out on your own, getting blasted over and over again until you finally get your hands on Leaf Bracer. Yeah, you’re probably going to despise Terra as a character while you’re forced to learn the gymnasium ropes that this game forces you to climb up. Floaty combat be damned.

Birth by Sleep apologists will tell you, “just google the recipes and grind for everything you need right from the get go. There’s no reason to complain if you’re not even trying, forehead.” SHUT UP. Even if you have the foresight to do this, all of that goes straight out the window the moment you realize that the plot for each character is like 5 minutes long. You’re in some worlds for maybe two cutscenes tops, fight a boss, watch a 20 minute movie in-between, and then all of a sudden you’re in the final world at the last save point and you still don’t even have anywhere close to half of the abilities or commands. You can get through this entire thing without obtaining life altering abilities like Second Chance, something I would consider to be a staple of every Kingdom Hearts game. Genuinely when are you supposed to grind any of this out without knowing ahead of time, if not after their story? I’m sorry, but this is fundamentally dog water at its core, only exacerbated even more on a completionist playthrough. It means you’ll be playing what feels like 10% story content, backloaded by 90% command grinding and Mirage Arena. You finish Terra’s story and watch a fully complete Credits segment. After all of that is said and done, no matter the percentage you’re going for, it almost ends up not mattering at all because..

Now you have to do it all over again..

Yes, once you’re done with Terra you’ll move onto Ventus; a much more nimble character, but with the defenses of wet paper towels. There are only minimal differences between the three: different finishers, different attacks, different movement, but that’s about it. Just know that both Ventus and Aqua are leagues above Terra’s tortoise gameplay. With how the Birth by Sleep save system works, you lose all of your progress and get sent back to 0 when starting the next character’s playthrough. Clap those cymbals together, you idiot. But, a-ha!, this time you understand that the rug will be pulled out from under you and preparation can be done to mitigate some of that playtime you suffered through before. You’ve learned the way of the Birth by Sleep ability system, but have you mastered the art of the mini-game? Since each playthrough is the same thing minus the controlled character, that means you’ll be doing everything three times over. Fruitball (fucking kill me), Rumble Racing (please perish), and Ice Cream Beat for starters. If I had to rank them I’d go in reverse order of what I just said. I think Ice Cream Beat gets a lot of heat for no reason, but I think that’s because some people can’t admit that they’re just bad at rhythm games. Dunked on. The other two though, bury them in a ditch. If there’s one thing I cannot stand in a video game, it’s a racing segment in a game where racing isn’t the main gameplay mechanic. You might as well torture me instead. Fruitball is the shittiest version of tennis/soccer ever crafted by man. If those aren’t enough for you, don’t worry, we have Command Board at home. I really, really hope you like Monopoly because you’re going to play an absolute metric ton of it.

Oh, Command Board. With 7 boards available, you’ll be mercilessly sent to what feels like being stuck in traffic while you roll Mario Party dice through a board of pain and misery. It is essentially Monopoly without the landlords, only mitigated by the fact that it has the ability to level up some of your commands and ends by passing “Go” once you hit the money cap. It is, however, still entirely RNG based and God help you if you’re unlucky. Is it an easy way to obtain some good commands early? Sure. But, is it fun? No. No, it is not. Not only are you expected to win all 7 boards with all three characters, you’re also expected to win them again in the Mirage Arena. That is 42 games of Command Board, provided you win every time and grab the few commands that are only obtainable from them in one go. I don’t mention this a lot because it’s almost never relevant, but I do stream the games that I review. Some people went AFK while I was playing Command Board, just to come back while still playing a different Command Board hours later. There are people out there who think this game is just a Kingdom Hearts themed board game.

And look, I love me some Yoko Shimomura music as much as the next guy, but something about the Birth by Sleep OST just grinds my gears. I think it has something to do with the fact that the songs have incredibly short loops, meaning that you’ll be hearing the most brain rot music on repeat for fucking hours. I think the Castle of Dreams theme is used to train MKUltra Sleeper Agents because this will make me instantly go rogue the second I hear this shit again unprompted. Make no mistake though, there are absolute bangers when it counts the most. Specifically, Vanitas’s theme opens up the fucking mosh pit every time it comes on. I just wish that was carried over across the whole soundtrack in the same way it does for most of the series. Kingdom Hearts does not have the greatest level designs, but the music at least lifts a lot of that up. In Birth by Sleep, the worlds are at an all-time empty. There is not a single person living in them, which means most areas are GIGANTIC rooms of nothing but endless waves of the most gimmicky Unversed. Keep in mind that this was a PSP game originally. I never owned a PSP so I wouldn’t know how the hardware worked, but even in remastered form they didn’t bother to add anything to the backgrounds in order to make the worlds actually feel like worlds. It makes scenes in the Coliseum utterly hilarious because there’s audiences losing their fucking minds while the camera pans to the side showing you that there are actually zero people sitting in the stands.

Oh? You’ve finished the story and grinded out all of your little mini-games again? You’ve done the Mirage Arena gauntlet and collected all of your little finishers. You watched your second batch of the same exact Credits segment? Well, good news!!

Now you have to do it all over again..

You’ve finally made it to the last character, Aqua. The woman of the group. The magical girl boss babe that can do no wrong, equipped with magic spells that will split all the enemy’s assholes wide open. Well, for the most part. (More spoiler talk later.) This is something that should be a worthy reward for the gamers who have stuck it out this long, but at this point you’ve been playing the game for so long, doing the same shit, that you just want to be done with it. If you’ve made it this far in the review, you’re probably wondering why I’ve stuck with a 100% playthrough if it clearly wasn’t an enjoyable experience. The thing is, I replay KH1 and KH2 to 100% completion for fun, so it’s not really something I just chose to do out of the blue. Sure, synthesis grinding in those games are a pain in the ass but leveling up to high degrees so that you even have a chance at fighting the data bosses is where I think the real entertainment in those games lie. They’re a worthy challenge for gamers who are looking to get their shit rocked by them. I’m here to tell you right now that this is not the case for this game.

First off, the command melding can net you some pretty cool and flashy attacks that’ll wipe the floor with most enemies. If only they didn’t take ages to set up and granted you i-frames. Birth by Sleep seems to really love non-cancellable animations that will either leave you murdered or leave you waiting for an attack to end even after everything is already dead. The amount of time spent waiting for Rhythm Mixer to end should be its own calculated stat on the end screen. Unfortunately, this means that even after working towards getting cool shit like Tornado or Transcendance, you’ll likely never get to actually use them where it matters since bosses will not allow you to pull that shit in their fights, let alone the regular enemies. I would have loved to kill Xehanort with the break dancing attack, but no, you get knocked out of using it the 9/10 times you try. Therefore, you’re more likely to just strap on the tried and true command deck that everyone and their mom uses. 4 Thunder Surges with 4 Curagas. Thunder Surge is the most powerful attack with the highest radius of damage while also providing you with i-frames across a long distance. It’s broken, and gives you zero reason to diversify with anything else. You’ll be needing that deck anyways, since it’s one of the only ways to defeat the shittiest boss to ever be created.

After getting this far, I was pretty set in just calling this a boring trip full of chores and monotony but that was before finally unlocking the optional bosses as a reward for making all three of my children as powerful as possible. The two in the Mirage Arena are fine. Completely manageable fights where typical pattern memorization is the key to winning. But, and I say this with minimal exaggeration, you would have way more fun getting run over by a truck than you would if you were to fight either of the other two. The first one would be spoiled by saying their name so just call him Idiot McGee, I don’t know. He’s got a health bar as short as an ant, compensated by the fact that he immediately assaults and one shots you by ignoring your abilities and teleporting away whenever you try to land an attack of your own. He also copies your spells and uses them himself, meaning that curing yourself is off the table unless you want to deal with him healing himself to pay it back. It’s hard as balls and you’d think this would be a worthy challenge. Except for the fact that he’s programmed with sand for a brain and completely loses it the second you hide behind one of the giant rocks on the battlefield. It’s almost like he has object permanence and thinks you’ve literally disappeared from battle. So guess what, use that to your advantage and you’ve effectively cheesed him. Riveting stuff for a late-game addition. Now get ready for a genuine challenge, but for all the wrong reasons: Mysterious Figure. I would not even send the most annoying FromSoft fans this guy's way.

The last thing on the agenda is to kill Mysterious Figure, probably the worst boss I have ever encountered in.. gaming. He is no Lingering Will, that’s for sure. Why fight a guy that will test your abilities and skill level when you can just get your shit fucked up by an RNG simulator instead? This dude’s rocking a moveset of like 15 attacks, all used completely randomly with almost zero tells. He can break out of all of your combos, throw you into the air, split himself into 5 copies that can all attack you with different spells, turn himself invisible, drop a meteor on your head, mega-flare, stab you with never-ending spears, and hit you with a tornado that makes you drop all of your commands on the ground. Worst of all, he has a Doom spell that will end the fight instantaneously if you can’t mash the X button at the same speed as a Master Mode CPU of Mario Party. This dude is FUCKED, and he can eat shit. Sure, he’s challenging but it’s literally only because he is poorly designed in a game where the combat is watered down for PSP play. You want to know what you get for beating this guy? A keyblade that sucks worse than the last one, and pointlessly unusable for Terra/Ventus since you’ve just completed the game with them by defeating him. Jesus fucking Christ. And you get to do it 3 glorious times. This is the culmination of why I don’t like this game because none of it is a worthy challenge. It’s not fun.

Provided you finished everything and didn’t accidentally save over your save files like a bingus, you’re getting sent straight to the finale, but not until after you’ve watched the same full Credits segment for the 3rd time. They really want you to know who worked on this game. Play your cards right and watch the credits AGAIN, you’ll also get an extra, extra bonus epilogue episode after that episode. (It's unlocked by either 100%ing the game, beating it on critical mode, or killing an asinine amount of enemies.) This game is never-ending.

Spoiler discussion for plot and characters in this link here. Click at your own discretion.

And that’s that. Birth by Sleep is probably one of the most important games out of the entire series as it was their first attempt at building the world outside of Sora’s shenanigans. There are dire consequences here, but at the end of the day it just serves as more backstory for characters who will always be treated much more respectfully (unless they're Kairi.) It’s a game that is filled to the brim with tedious segments and annoying combat, where the important battles are incredibly anticlimactic and the optional ones are utter horseshit. Play it normally for the plot, but definitely do not 100% it.

I am finally simple and clean. (I have showered.)

"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Yves Cousteau

It is estimated that we as a species have only explored about 5% of the world's oceans. On the other hand, I estimate that the average Backloggd user hasn't even cleared that much of their backlog. Hell, mapping the entire ocean floor probably sounds like a more probable inevitability than ever getting through your backlog. Well, what's one more gonna hurt? Though, I would like it if you actually played it.

Endless Ocean 2 (known as Blue World in North America) is a game that probably flew under most peoples' radar even on release. With about 870,000 lifetime sales globally for this title specifically, it's safe to say that the series is pretty niche. I'm surprised that we even got a third game recently, despite apparently not being all that great. But that's another review for another time. EO2 molded a strong core memory within me that fits neatly amongst only a handful of other vivid and emotionally meaningful gaming experiences I experienced in my youth. Mind you, I was always fascinated with marine biology and oceanography. There's something truly fascinating but also chilling about the deep ocean. So many areas that have yet to be explored and species that are yet to be discovered. This game feeds on that childlike curiosity and excels at immersing you in the beauty of nature's waters.

Yes, there is a story, and it's actually a lot more involved than you would expect for a game who's main selling point is its exploration-driven gameplay and educational merit. It takes a page out of Tomb Raider and Uncharted, placing you in the shoes of a college student studying folklore who becomes entranced in a certain Pacific legend, travelling to the South Pacific to investigate further. You take a job at a local diving company, and adventure ensues. Throughout the campaign, you will be tasked with exploring various locales that include shallow coral reefs, muddy rivers, arctic waters, and the deep ocean, at times even exploring abandoned ancient ruins. It's semi-open world nature gives it a sense of scale that has yet to be matched in terms of immersion. Maybe Subnautica? But that game is nowhere near as good, methinks.

Between uncovering and appraising lost treasures, discovering new species to add to the marine encyclopedia, and mapping uncharted waters, it feels like there's so much to do. I actually wouldn't be surprised if this was the only single-player game I've played where I've surpassed the 100-hour playtime mark. As someone who rarely replays games, I never really considered having a comfort game, but sitting here writing this review has made me re-evaluate that. In fact, I have the sudden urge to replay this.

Finally, finally after so many years of wanting to play it and coming very close to purchasing a 300 dollar gamecube copy out of desperation I finally get to experience the game people have been swooning over since I can remember. I finally get to have so many questions answered. Is it one of the best games ever? Does it lord over the trilogy as the highest peak, is it better than my beloved Super Paper Mario?

As a new thing I wanted to try, I kept a little journal of my thoughts per chapter and had the idea to review each part episodically with a closing statement on my final thoughts on the game. This was a terrible idea as I write way too much, and feel too bad erasing huge chunks of my work. So without further ado: one of the longest reviews I've ever had to write and edit for everyone's darling Thousand Year Door.




☆Chapter 1☆
---------------------------

This first chapter is a really good depiction of what to expect from ttyd and starts off very strongly with multiple genre-breaking gags to subvert the very conventional story setup with Hooktail. The toad kid talking about various Nintendo games, the game show thwomp that replaces the position of a miniboss. A chest that gives you a powerup but still dresses it as a curse which is deifnitley the best running joke in the game. Hooktail herself being defeated in a few turns because your hammer is making frog sounds. Its undiluted Paper Mario essence at its finest. Petalburg is a really soft and charming place but Koops is probably the least utilized companion, I immediately switched back to Goombella after the chapter was over because I love her and comparatively Koops seems to get kind of sidelined both gameplay-wise and in terms of an active story role. In contrast to her precdessor Goombario, Goombella to me seems like the primary party member along with Vivian; shes sassy and smart and supportive and kind of steals the show in my eyes. After chapter 1 ends we get our first actual star power that isnt ol' reliable shit fuck Sweet Treat and then its on to:


☆Chapter 2☆
---------------------------

BOGGLY WOODS!! I've seen this area plently of times before in screenshots, but the way it looks completely floored me in the remake. The black and white trees contrasting beautifully with the oil spill colored vines on the floor, its all shiny and pretty like black lacquer. The music playing in the background sings ethereal and calm. A stand out area for me of the whole game, plus it has PUNIES!! Oh, I love them so much. Leading 101 of them through the Great Tree had me smiling so wide. They get trapped in little bubbles! They learn the power of union! Every interaction I had with the sage puni and the puni siblings reinforced them as my favorite non-recruitable characters.
Flurrie is the companion that joins in this chapter and I like her a lot. She has a very large and caring presence which fits in line with her past stage life. She also likes squishy, silly punies so we have a lot in common. Unfortunately I never did use her much outside of mandatory puzzles, but its okay because Koops got used way less.


☆Chapter 3☆
---------------------------

Glitzville! The Glitz Pit! I have a feeling this is a lot of people's favorite chapter and for obvious reasons. The unconventional story structure is very cool with there being no random fights at all, instead duking it out in a wrestling arena for a shot at championship. After each fight you get a break and here it hit me just how much dialogue there was in the game because all conversations in the area change completely after almost every match. Theres a lot of events in-between fights to give the player a break and I appreciated that because I get tired of fighting pretty fast. Unravelling the conspiracy of the Glitz Pit and sneaking around was so much fun. I love old fashioned wrestling so this chapter was very charming for me. After saving his egg from becoming a hot dog or something Yoshi Kid is born, Mario is his dad and Glitzville his country. I was really happy being introduced to this guy, I think its because the process of meeting him and his connection with Mario is very different than the rest of the party who get together by chance. I feel really attached to this guy and I feel bad riding him because he is so small, but I must because Mario is so fucking slow. Jolene is also really cool- the little tidbits of information about Prince Mush throughout the game made their reunion really sweet. This area is very, very good and stands out a lot for being so different than what one would expect.


☆Chapter 4☆
---------------------------

Twilight Town, like Boggly Woods, is also incredibly gorgeous and uses its color and textures well. The design on the big moon and the palette of the woods is so pretty, mesmerizing. Everyones turning into pigs. That's Mario's least favorite animal so he goes off into the forest to help stop it. I only knew this as the Vivian chapter and I was really excited to meet her, so the chapter end fakeout got me. I thought my game crashed and I was actually gonna reboot it before I hit A on accident- which is when shadow Mario gets up and the actual premise of this segment is revealed. Im so happy I didnt know about this part because nearly every other major occurance in ttyd has been spoiled for me throughout the years, it was nice being shocked for once. The way they constantly change and subvert their own formula is so incredibly clever to me, nothing else really holds a candle to the constant creativity these chapters show. Anyway- we meet Vivian who is looking for a bomb in the bushes. I wish we could have shown her more kindness than some basic decency, but she tags along to help Mario anyways. Doopliss wants his name back so you have to treck back (again) to Creepy Steeple. I hate Creepy Steeple. Getting there is hard, leaving is hard, I know theres a pipe but I didnt find it till later. Creepy Steeple is nothing but dark and annoying and I got stuck in a room for 20 minutes because there was like, no way for the player to see the hole in the wall going into the parrot room. I guess the implication was that light is supposed to be shining out from under the gap but how was I going to know- Mario was 10 yards away and stuck behind some bars. Obtain letter P, return to Doopliss and say hes Doopliss. Go back, again, to your favorite place Creepy Steeple and walk alll the way up back to his room AGAIN. Though I dont like this dungeon, this guy is my favorite antagonist- and how could he not be with such a fashionable hat. The Doopliss fight with all your companions working against you and Vivian's story beats are really cool, and then she officially joins the party! I had her by my side for most of the game- shes very powerful fully upgraded and has a lot of relation to the main events so it felt right to have her out.

☆Chapter 5☆
----------------------------
Chapter 5.... was..... uh........ Keelhaul Key... aw fuck I have to open the game and check.


Chapter 5 is the premiere of the unforgettable and culturally significant Keelhaul Key, which I remember clearly. I dont know how to properly describe this, but I noticed that ttyd has a very fluid way of managing its world. Everything seems to intersect and even random npc characters will remark on the latest happenings in Mario's adventure. Flavio looked very unique so I knew he would be a part in the story at some point, but I noticed here that the bob-omb at the counter had a progressing train of dialouge which converged with the mature toad lady character in Glitzville. Everything in this game is so alive and so smart, anyways... meeting with Bobbery had me getting misty eyed. Ttyd has no problem moving between really silly moments and touching story beats, which is something a lot of games that replicate Paper Mario struggle with. Keelhaul Key itself is a fun misadventure I suppose... I hated the backtracking though, god there is so much backtracking in this game, its insane. I fought so many fuzzies.... Pirate's Bay was not much better at all. I didnt really like this area, slow and dense. Cortez and the X-Naut showoff were the best things to come out of the chapter.


☆Chapter 6☆
---------------------------

The Excess Express...much like Glitzville in chapter 3, this segment subverts the typical story structure except it removes virtually all battles. Instead, Mario and co. take on detective work aboard an ongoing train and then platform a little in Poshley Heights with no final boss to defeat. I love this chapter. The atmosphere is immaculate. Getting to know all the passengers over the course of 3 days and solving their troubles turned it into a different sort of game for a bit. It was a very smart decision to not have any random encounters for the majority of the chapter because the mood of the Excess Express is very impressionable. Walking through the train at dusk and seeing the remaining sun shining through the windows, with that song playing in the background... its one of those Nintendo moments that I'm sure imprinted itself heavily on the people who played this as kids. The detective side of the chapter is very fun, and I enjoy how much it encourages you to interact with the people on the train as it builds your relationship to them in a unique way that isnt purely focused on rescuing them. Arriving at Poshley Heights, the area isnt that huge or noteworthy because the focus is on the train- but the Sanctum that holds the crystal star was near mythical. I just assumed we would have to fight Beldam and her sister and her not-sister Doopliss, but after their departure instead it leads you on into a mirror image of the Sanctum. Entering, its all light blues and soft light with the saddest most evocative piece of compositional music playing in the background. It was a very unexpected moment, I think I audibly said 'woah'. I dont know if it was intentional how strangely moving the Inner Sanctum was, but climbing up the sides of the building with the pretty lights and taking in that song was so peaceful and nice. Such a fitting end for a mostly nonconfrontational chapter.


☆Chapter 7☆
---------------------------

By this point, after completing every bulliten quest avaliable to me I had already figured out that backtracking was ttyd's best friend forever but I didnt think they would seriously make me go back and forth between Fahr Outpost and every other area I've been to so much. It would be comical if they hadnt made me to go Hooktail Castle 3 separate times, so I was feeling very bitter at this point when I had to walk around for no reason. Fahr Outpost itself is a military base which instills dread and isnt a lot to be remarked on, which is kind of a shame because Paper Mario's snow areas are very pretty. Getting shot to the moon also would have surprised me but I spoiled myself the day before looking on a wiki page for how to make ruin powder. The moon... is very slow. The encounters on the moon arent that fun but you're not expected to be there for long. The X-Naut building... also is not very fun. The keycard shenanigans were tedious and I resigned myself to looking at a guide to figure out where they were. Just a lot of little time wasters here... and a lot platforming. More on that and TEC later but I absolutely hate this game's jump when its used for platforming, its short and heavy and shitty and clearly wasnt made for precise-ish movements.
Fighting that robot was okay. Walking through the halls with the all the lights shut off after TEC's final message was what I'll remember most from the moon, though.


☆Chapter 8☆
----------------------------

The Palace of Shadows is another area in the remake that I had to stop and take in because it really does look absolutely beautiful and grand. The trek through the palace is very long and kind of arduous with the many puzzles and no item shops. The star tower near the end of the chapter made use of riddles and was very fun to figure out, though once again Koops was left unused in a location that utilized nearly every other companion (sorry, man). The small miniboss fight with Beldam and her new family left me a little dissapointed because Vivian didnt really have a lot to say, and I was hoping punching her sister in the hat would have given her some closure. Moving on to the next room, the fight with Grodus is really exciting but you get a sense of how powerless and kind of incompetent Peach is here. In Paper Mario n64 she's trapped on a floating castle, so theres not much she can do. Here though, shes just sleeping and weak and isnt shown even trying to break the force field bubble shes in. Im assuming Grodus gave her a concussion or something but when she gets possessed by the Shadow Queen she's not even bound, just collapsed on the floor though after the fight Goombella says shes not even hurt so why're you nappin lady?? Im getting a bit ahead of myself though, because as Grodus threatens to end Peach as a means to get Mario to stop hitting him over the head with a hammer, BOWSER appears and crushes that guy with his mighty and toned koopa body. This fight was a fun reprieve from the harshness of the rest of the palace though its unlikely you would die even if you took a few hits fighting Grodus.

Going into the basement to fight the final boss, I noticed a huge issue. There was not a pipe leading back to Rougeport in sight. I didnt have any healing items at all, but I really didnt want to make the 40 minute dash to town and back so I opted to rely on Sweet Feast instead and went into battle. The Shadow Queen is a very threatening figure compared to what Mario games had seen up until that point. The cutscene where her hands are creeping up the sides of the various buildings above ground probably would of made me cry when I was younger. Her spirit design channels a sense of fear and otherworldliness that I really enjoy. She also mentions slaves? Which means that, at the very least, the concept of slavery exists in the Super Mario world officially. Phase one of her boss fight wasnt too rough for me, I got a soft stomp on her so I managed to widdle her down pretty fast. I was mostly worried, when she invoked her spirit form, that I was going to have to do some stupid shit like from that point on she could only be damaged by Supernova, but mercifully that was not the case. As Mario is left struggling and the crystal stars fly off, the upcoming cutscene had me absolutely bawling. Im always very touched when stories end with every friend you've ever met coming together to believe in you and rally you on. Its so sad and heartwarming every time.... even Peach gathers her last bit of strength to give to Mario though she didnt seem to have any passed out on the floor moments prior. I was feeling absolutely pumped- the danger of complete global annihilation felt so real and I was completely into it, no way I was going to let anything happen to these people!! I was in tears, Punio believes in me!! I CANT let him down!

I died!

She had like 30 health left and I fucking died. It became impossible to recover the amount of health I was losing with only Sweet Treat/Feast and I had no items at all. A lot of people say that this is baby's first rpg- and I know theres probably a badge combination that makes things easier, but what the hell. The Shadow Queen is one of the hardest bosses I think I've ever fought. And I was really, really pissed because that emotional buildup was something else and it just completely evaporates upon dying. It doesnt feel half as special or urgent when you've already seen it before... also "try again"? I thought it'd just restart that phase but it put me back to entering the room which is pointless.
I buckled down to spend the next hour of my life trying to remember how to leave the building for items but then, and only after I had reloaded the game, did a pipe appear that lead to Rougeport. Why it isnt just there from the get go is beyond me, but I just got more pissed cause if I had access to that earlier that really sweet emotional moment wouldnt of been trounced for me.
Despite having healing items this fight was still incredibly hard and I barely beat it with both companion and Mario at 10 hp. The final moments of ttyd are bittersweet as we have to say goodbye to Rougeport and Mario fails to deliver TEC's final message to Peach because they both seemingly forgot. Though I didnt want this one to end so soon, the credits roll. The book closes, and that was The Thousand Year Door! Before I close with my general thoughts, I have something written for the Peach & Bowser intermissions:


☆Extra☆
-------------------

Peach and TEC initially felt to me like a demo reel for Blumiere and Tippi, but as time went on I felt really endeared toward the computer. TEC never tries to win Peach over or actively seduce her, which would be uncomfortable since shes stuck in a room with them. TEC is curious about their newfound feelings and this leads them to a sort of solace as they resolve to get her off the space station. I really like the solemn acceptance TEC goes through, never wanting Peach to stay or enter a relationship with it, settling into peace with the feelings it has found. Peach, on the other hand, despite having a role and doing things somehow feels like she doesnt have a scrap of autonomy in anything that goes down. Her email information doesnt really help at all except for the final message she sends. Out of a very creative game, these segments are probably the most typical things we see.

The Bowser intermissions also kind of only exist to jusitify his appearance in the ending, he really didnt have to be here but it was pretty funny and I'd rather be watching him get up to shenanigans than spend 30 minutes failing to make a potion with Peach


And thats it! All my thoughts on The Thousand Year Door. So the question remains: is this one of the best games ever? Does it really beat my favorite entry in the series, Super Paper Mario?
For starters, I can really understand why so many people are so fond of this game. It is incredibly special in both its gameplay aspects and its continually evolving creativity, it is a game that was created out of pure love for everything Paper Mario is and you can clearly tell by how often they remember and cherish their previous installment and continue to evolve from it.
Theres a few things I really dont like about this game, though. For one, I was constantly lost. Someone of my age really shouldnt have problems getting around in a Mario game but if Goombella didnt tell me exactly what was up I never knew what to do or where to go. Instruction and direction felt incredibly vauge at times, depth perception and lighting were definitely contributing factors to the aimlessness I felt. Speaking of depth perception, this game likes to pretend that its a platformer quite a bit when its clearly not made for that at all. The jumping feels bad and it loses all momentum when you let go of the c-stick. The mechanical room and the x-naut fortress are two areas that just suck so much because of this when it really didnt need to be included. Also, I said this before but ttyd loves making you go back to really inconvenient places again and again, almost every bulletin quest is like this and after the 20th visit back to Hooktail, it gets very tiring.
With all that though, I still really enjoyed my first experience playing ttyd in this new and improved form. I wanted to keep seeing more, even if it was doing something tedious and repetitive. It made me laugh and smile and cry... but not as much as spm so I still love that one the most. Its a very special game with a very special place in a lot of people's hearts, and I'm very glad it got the remake it deserved.
And now... I rest, wistfully stroking my copy of spm, feeling in my chest the sad truth that it will never be gifted the same attention.

It's not that Ridge Racer V is a bad game, it's just that it's not Ridge Racer Type-4. Really, it's almost unfair to compare them. How do you follow up something that so perfectly nails the feel it's trying to evoke, both mechanically and aesthetically?

Ridge Racer V adopts that late 90s/early 2000s futurist vibe, rearranges the grand prix to include time trials and reverse courses as part of its standard progression, and leans in on drifting, and it's fine. Nothing about it plays poorly, though there is a lack of variety in some of the tracks and, personally, I never cared much for the "look" of the early 2000s, so the presentation here carries less weight for me.

The ability to customize the paint job of your cars and swap engines was something I wasn't able to fully explore due to issues with (I assume) my PS2's hard drive, or the software used to read games off of it. Every time I attempted to change my car, the game crashed, so I was forced to play through the entire thing with the same starting vehicle. Between this and my Wii, I'm realizing that hard drives aren't the best way to go about playing these games due to some of the stability issues they cause. Ridge Racer V is pretty cheap on the aftermarket, but... that's probably for a reason. Why would you go for RRV when any system that can play it would also support Ridge Racer 4?

I think that's more or less where I fall on this game. It's good, but I know what my Ridge Racer of choice is, and I don't see RRV doing anything more noteworthy outside the bump in fidelity.

BUT IS IT A SUMMAH GAME?

Get real low, stick your face to the ground, feel the hot pavement stick to your cheek as you watch as the air above it ripples against the asphalt fumes. You know what that is? Summah! Inhale, absorb its power.

The screech of tires, the cool blast of the AC contrasting the hot air licking at your cheek as it wafts through the open driver's side window, cars fading into the distance in your rearview... I wouldn't know what that's like, I used to drive a Sazuki Swift with a busted AC belt, but I'll tell you this: you can only get heat stroke in the Summah! Boiling to death in the slow-and-go is a rite of Summah passage, and road trips to the beach are as Summah as palm trees, boardwalks, and shark attacks. The smell of the Summah is a gas station, so pick up the nozzle and breeeathe it in... Cars are so tied to the season that I make it a point to play at least one racing game every month, but the question is, does Ridge Racer V meet the lofty expectations set by the Summah index scale?

Unfortunately, no. The vibes are all wrong. Sure, many of the tracks are set near the beach, there's palm trees, but we're talking the difference between Summer and Summah here. At 65.5, we have the first game of the 2024 season to not make a passing grade, and per Summah law, I must now go into a tremendous amount of debt buying every copy so that they may be destroyed.

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This game advertises itself as a unique puzzle game with an interesting story. What that means in reality is worse candy crush with extra text boxes. The fantasy setting found within this game is extremely generic and uninspired, the story is very bare-bones, and the gameplay is not much better than most mobile games.

The game's combat system often feels somewhat poorly thought out and unfair towards both you and your enemy. Based completely off of luck, whoever gets the first turn in each battle can instantly a significant amount of damage before the enemy can do anything about it at all. Since the puzzle grid used for combat in this game is randomized, it essentially just encourages the player to constantly restart every battle until they get a grid that is favourable to them. Falling blocks are also completely random, so sometimes if your enemy makes a mediocre play the game will just randomly reward them by giving them 20 combos in a row and eliminating half your health bar. You do have the ability level up your attack damage and defence, but this only really slightly lessens the problems with the combat system, rather than fixing them.

Puzzle Quests story is probably one of the most cliche fantasy stories I have ever seen. There is genuinely nothing interesting or unique to be found here. It consists of watching two sprites exchanging extremely boring and basic pieces of dialogue in generic text boxes over and over again. To me it just feels like a marketing gimmick slapped on to a mediocre puzzle game.

I really wanted to like Puzzle Quest because the premise sounded very interesting to me, so its quite a shame how it turned out. I feel like this concept could actually have worked quite well if a bit more effort was put into it, but this game (at least the DS version) stumbles in its execution on nearly every level.

Maybe the most mixed bag of all the entries in the entire Postal franchise thus far. And yes, I am very aware that is saying something. I mean, the other installments have been consistently either outright good or bad, while this one constantly fluctuates wildly between those two extremes across its runtime. It’s honestly pretty bold of Running with Scissors to bring back that long-running gag of encouraging the player to pee on copies of Postal III when their “true sequel” to the second outing it’s housed within this time is only marginally better than that universally derided third effort at points.

I went with the console release here. Not just because my standard, non-gaming PC can’t handle a title this recent, but also due to it simply being kind of amazing to me to finally see the property branching out and becoming available to more than solely the mouse and keyboard community. I must confess RWS did a fantastic job of bringing it over too. Everything from shooting to driving and all your other inputs feels so natural and smooth that you’d find it hard to believe this wasn’t originally designed with a controller first in mind. I sincerely hope the PlayStation ports perform well enough to receive any of the future updates and expansions that are on the horizon, such as the announced upcoming addition of co-op. They have certainly been getting the same patches to date. Outside of a few minor issues, one of which did require me to start an extra playthrough I hadn’t intended on because a couple of the collectibles either didn’t spawn or the game failed to register I picked them up for some reason, the PS5 version at least is mostly stable showing things have come a long way for No Regerts since launch despite not being totally free of bugs and moments of broken hostile AI yet. You’ll also find the secondary go-kart vehicle and bonus of getting to choose your own voice actor have been included as well. The latter being particularly appreciated because Jon St. John makes the Dude sound more like the Nerd.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of people declaring this is merely trying (and failing) to be Postal 2 again, and I personally don’t think that’s an accurate or fair statement. To me, P4 is clearly striving to expand upon that game in the manner you would expect from a good successor. I’m not just referring to the greatly increased size of its world in comparison either. New features like the ability to buy special permits so that you can run around with your weapons unholstered without interference from the police, backpacks that will upgrade the player’s inventory space to literally unlimited capacity, chain-scythes that allow you to grapple onto specific points in the environment, and a drop kick maneuver that will send victims ragdolling through the air for crazy distances add to the ridiculous absurdity of the action in ways wholly befitting of the brand, while the optional “rampages” challenges which offer direction and concrete rewards for the violent, destructive tendencies you’d probably engage in anyway make so much sense you’ll wonder why they don’t show up on the map.

Not every attempt at modernizing the property’s well-established formula hits the mark, however. For example, the inclusion of alternate outfits and Fortnite-style emotes come off as superfluous until the option to roam “Edensin” with friends eventually drops, as the local inhabitants seemingly haven’t been programmed to react to you doing push-ups in the middle of a department store while wearing Zack Ward’s threads from the movie adaptation. It’s the side-quests that seriously fall on their face though. For starters, I only ever stumbled onto two in my 33 hours with the game (why are these also not marked on the map?), and worse they were incredibly mundane. I dug holes to help a guy recover his missing drugs that he couldn’t remember where he buried and was tasked with cleaning another fella’s mansion of blood, cum, and fecal splatter ahead of his next BDSM fling. It’s worth mentioning I couldn’t bring myself to finish that second one, because on top of potentially being glitched due to some of those stains simply refusing to wash away the task kept going on for what felt like forever. I just ended up shooting the quest giver in the head, losing out on any on the goodies I would’ve otherwise received, and running off to do anything else. A shame since the deeper I went into the many rooms the more evident it became that the kinky sex stuff was part of a dark occult ritual that may have had a nice payoff by the conclusion. An interesting touch of creepy environmental storytelling.

Yet, although definitely an undeniable flaw, the inconsistent quality of its supporting content isn’t what brings the package down. No, Postal 4 has proven divisive and disappointing for even longtime fans due to its overall lackluster and flat vision. A big question I guess we all should have had in the back of ours minds beforehand was how the heck Running with Scissors was actually going to pull off delivering a worthy follow-up to arguably the most controversial products the gaming industry has ever spawned as of this writing in our highly sensitive modern age. Pushing the boundaries of good taste and spitting in the face of moral standards was super popular back in the late ‘90s and early 2000s when the series was at its peak. But today? Maaaan, do anything remotely offensive and the internet is coming after you with its full fury. Evidently aware of that fact, the eccentric Tucson devs opted for a bit of a rebrand of sorts. On the About section of their website and various social media platforms they describe themselves as a maker of “outrageous” experiences, implying their releases are more wacky and over-the-top than sources of genuine umbrage for people with certain sensibilities. The problem? There’s nothing that goofy or outlandish here.

It isn’t until Thursday with its motocross races on mobility scooters and dives into VR with Tron-esque visuals that you witness so much as a hint of the gonzo imagination that made Paradise Lost a delightful blast. If I had to guess I’d wager they wanted to replicate Postal 2’s hook of assigning us a daily to-do list of humdrum, everyday IRL objectives, but completely missed the part where we could turn them into exciting messes of bloody chaos and dark humor through our actions. Essentially bypassing the boring true to reality bits of waiting in line and such altogether. Can’t do that in Regerts. Choosing to gun down all of the homeless squatters when acting as a sewer worker doesn’t grant you a means of skipping the need to screw in those lightbulbs and unclog the pipes before moving on, unfortunately. It leads to the main missions being rather dull the majority of the time. The same is true of the comedy. In their desperate bid to upset as few as humanly possible, they’ve neutered the satirical element almost entirely in favor of very safe and half-hearted Trump, border wall, and Covid references that have zilch to say on the topics, mixed with (often literal) toilet humor. A single one-off segment poking fun at the whole 2022 election rigging debacle that truly had me laughing out loud stands as the sole reprieve from a constant stream of jokes that fail to leave an impression. Shoot, even the subtitle is a pun stolen from that movie We’re the Millers, only far less funny.

This restraining of Postal’s angsty soul has stripped it of personality right down to the world design too. Outside of a few notable locations, buildings carry the appearance of being compromised of a bunch of Unity asset store flips and NPCs are of the same caliber as any of the non-bangable ones in your average forever early access, Together BnB-style adult indie project on Steam.

To conclude I’ll admit, in spite of my paragraphs of complaining I did still derive enough enjoyment from the core of roaming NR’s giant playground urinating everywhere, barging into homes with a boot to the door, and behaving as an all-around menace to unlock that platinum trophy. Plus, I have heard the perspective of how it should be taken into consideration the number of years it took P2 to reach its current level of quality. Albeit I do believe the counterargument of that game having originally been built on significantly stronger groundwork blows that defense out of the water. Seriously, the sole instance one of the primary story stages in this adventure carries a comparable vibe to any of its predecessors is a brief off-map excursion where you’re captured by cannibalistic hillbillies. A sequence offering further proof of the potential the studio has to create a solid work of full horror if they’d garner the confidence to risk stepping away from their comfort zone. So I don’t hate this. I’m simply of the opinion that if this is the best RWS can do anymore then perhaps they should let others take the reins from now on. Reports are reception to Brain Damaged was warm…

7/10

Sights & Sounds
- As we hit the fourth game of the series, it's been interesting to see how Dave Gilbert/Wadjet Eye have toyed with the visual style of the Blackwell series. With each entry, the pixel art character models and environments have gotten just a little more detailed and refined, bringing more and more personality to this digital rendition of NYC
- As a minor note, I'm not a huge fan in the pivot to drawn character portraits over pixel art. Joey admittedly benefits from it, but Rosa's portrait looks a bit amateurish and less like her depiction in the previous games
- The soundtrack is a definite downgrade. The noir-y jazz has been shitcanned in favor of generic-sounding synth and drums. I've always loved the music in this series, so the tracks here were a big disappointment

Story & Vibes
- Audiovisual gripes aside, the writing has taken a huge leap forward in this game. I'm not totally sure of what happened in the two years separating Convergence and Deception, but Mr. Gilbert definitely developed some ideas and decided to really ramp up a few plotlines
- I won't delve too deeply into spoilers as that would be a massive disservice to the game, but a few hints dropped about something larger and more sinister going on behind the scenes in Unbound and Convergence definitely come to the fore in Deception
- In some ways, those two previous entries I mentioned felt like the series was shuffling its feet. I guess I know now that they served as important setup for this game (and presumably the final game in the series as well). I don't know if that revelation necessarily makes those two titles retroactively better, but it at least justifies their existence in the Blackwell pantheon
- Given that the series deals heavily with things like ghosts and the afterlife, I'm surprised that this is the first time that the series has actually felt creepy. The final plot sequence is actually pretty exciting
- If there's any blemish on Deception's writing, it has to involve the setup for the game's final dialogue puzzle. To motivate that puzzle, Rosa undergoes a change that completely contradicts the depiction of her personality up to this point in the series. The annoying part is that it could have seemed plausible. Had the game done a better job a) emphasizing the severity of Rosa and Joey's conflict, b) making Rosa seem more vulnerable, or c) making the villain seem more dangerous, then it could have made sense. Instead, it just felt a little upsetting. Rosa is such a badass throughout the whole series; why is she suddenly so weak? And why does the reason for her temporary personality change occur offscreen?
- In any case, that's the only part that ruined the vibes. Like the previous titles, Deception is high on mystery and intrigue, but it also adds a layer of excitement that was sorely missing in the two immediately predicting games

Playability & Replayability
- It is a point-and-click. Name's on the tin. You know what's inside
- I may replay this game in the future if I decide to revisit the series down the road. I wouldn't replay the whole series, but this game would definitely be part of it

Overall Impressions & Performance
- It's nice to see the Blackwell universe finally start to kick off, even if I had to play 60% of the franchise to get to this point. These aren't very long games, so it's easier to stomach the time investment for this payoff. One thing's certain: I'm really excited to see the what's in store for the series' conclusion in Epiphany

Final Verdict
- 8/10. The soundtrack is a disappointment and there is one glaring story flaw, but Deception is definitely the highlight of the series to this point. If you've enjoyed the prior games in the series to this point, there's no reason to stop; Deception is when things go from "merely interesting" to "actually great"

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My Perpetual Steam Game Giveaway is, as its name implies, still going on! Just added some new stuff too. Go get you a game; all you have to do is review it. Kinda what this site is all about.
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With a rating over 7/10 and under 1000 reviews on Steam, this title earned a spot on my Hidden Gems list.