23 Reviews liked by Vit0


90% is randomly interacting with everything

And they say white people have no culture...

I sure do love this 5 minute rage game!
I certainly hope finishing it won't take 2 hours!

i have daily traumatic flashbacks to high school where i was walking down the halls wearing an Undertale shirt and this one random guy was like "wh-what??? a gamer girl!" and then blocked my path and did the entire Sans speech. the whole thing. in public.

"it's aged weirdly though!!" buhuhu SHUT UP! YOU CAN SUPLEX CULTISTS!

I think Mikami understands to an unnatural degree that video games are fundamentally about problem-solving. Unlike an academic interpretation of "problem-solving" though, Mikami understands that the exercise of problem-solving is less about solving the actual problem but of learning new ways of thinking. Sure, other video games are problem-solving in a base sense, but Mikami's problems have that magical "Oh Shit" element to them; everyone who's done one playthrough of this game will instantly remember all three wolverine encounters, the first time they encountered Regenerators, the Krauser section, the entire 4-4 homestretch, etc. Consistent to all these amazing sections is that the game feels like it's adapting along with the player--as if Mikami was a math tutor guiding us along the workbook. "Ok you know how to deal with Wolverine now, but what if we stuck in you a locked cage with one of them? What if we put two of them in the same room? How would you adapt then?" You have to recontextualize and reinvent constantly, without forgetting the fundamentals that got you there. One of the fundamental pillars of a conservative mindset is the idea that change is risky--the problem might get worse if you approach in a new way, so it's safer to keep doing things the same way. RE4 looks at this mindset, kneecaps it, then gives it a head-exploding suplex--change is necessary, even if it is risky; use more of your resources, resupply, be more precise, exploit another weakness, or use a goddamn rocket launcher if you have to--just don't think the old way is the only way if you want to make it through. It's a constant escalation of gameplay, and that the narrative matches this escalation tit-for-tat is just aces. Literally one of the most radical games of all-time, in every sense of the word.

what may just separate the veterans from the inexperienced in this game is the quality of their knifework. leon might pack an arsenal replete with the sexiest weapons of all time, but it's the tried-and-true double-edged stiletto he's packing that remains your eternal companion out there in the shit. utilizing it to its fullest requires confidence to an extent that resembles rashness - a full understanding of where to strike, when to kick, and how to deke. if you ask me, coming fresh off a run of professional, this is one of the most compelling elements of RE4 - the convergence between melee and gunplay is transformative, configuring leon into a living weapon. there is no element of his kit that goes unused or registers as unnecessary.

i once jokingly claimed that a remake of this title needed to simply superimpose re6's base of mechanics on to the game, but actually convey to players how best to parse these systems. there's actually probably a little nugget of gold buried in there - after all, i refuse emphatically the addition of a block button ala the ethan winters duology, or the presence of a parry which, when mishandled, tends to choke combat systems with its rote all-encompassing applicability. what they really need to do here is expand and tailor the level of knifework present. imagine if we got rid of the need for qtes because we got a game with hitboxes every bit as fair, but your knife mode had dozens of options attached to it resembling something like genes dodges from god hand, informally and unofficially linking mikamis action game tenure...errant slashes leading to blades clashing...im talking high risk high reward knife action in such a manner that it doesn't compromise on leons fragility. that, to me, would be a good rendition of re4. shouldn't bend the knee or make concessions to enemy design so as to make the holy grail 'knife only challenge run' more palatable to layfolk...people figured out how to do it with the original, they'll do it again

also id like to be able to throw my knife

Murphy's Law:
1. In any field of endeavor, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
2. Left to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.
3. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong, is the one that will cause the most damage.
4. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
5. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

This really is just a mini version of the first game. If you enjoyed the gameplay and style of MFP and wanted more of it, I think you'll probably enjoy this too. The controls are a little weird but they didnt take long to get used to.

There are 37 levels in total, although 3 or 4 of them barely count as ones. The lack of boss fights and difficulty does make this already short game breeze by really quickly. It does offer some replayability if you want to try to earn three stars in all the levels at least. A lot of the mechanics are just from the original but theres enough new to keep things fresh. I enjoyed the motorbike sections but it never added much to make them more interesting.

The only big issue is the ads. You can pay a pretty small fee to get rid of them and unlock a new mode, but for a game thats so short already it personally didnt feel worth it. The ads can be pretty intrusive, you'll almost always get one after completing a level, even the really short ones. You also have to watch an ad to restart if you die or sometimes even just to continue where you left off. This can be pretty annoying and definitely might hinder enjoyment, but it got less annoying as the game went on.

Anyways, overall this is actually really solid for a mobile game spinoff, I quite enjoyed the two hours of distraction. I hope to see some more of this wacky series in the future.

5/10 Google Play Achievements
Nancymeter - 67/100
Game Completion #88 of 2022
Mobile Game Completion #5 of 2022
August Completion #8

Fobia

2018

It's not worth anyone's time. The character is very stiff, movement and interactions with environment feel like something in early development. For example when player is killed by the bird when the bird's sprite touches the character that's it. No death animation, no sound. Bird keeps flapping it's wings while staying in place of the collision while screen fades black.
On top of that the game requires player to know exactly when and how to move in order to avoid some obstacles without giving them any chance react. You need to die in order to know what's going to happen.

This review contains spoilers

chicken

So I don't know how, but I bought a shirt the other day in Burlington and I think they plagiarized this game? I'm serious btw.

I wasn't expecting the story to go for my kneecaps but when the credits hit OWOWOWOWWOW

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY REVIEW

Let me start off by being completely transparent. I am most definitely one of those people who have a lot of nostalgia attached to the SNES, and Donkey Kong Country is one of those (along with a lot of the old Marios, The Legend of Zelda, Paperboy, and The Lion King.) While visiting family, I decided it was high time to pull out the old system and play some of my childhood favorites again. There was no doubt in my mind which would be first - of course it would be DKC. Out of the games I had at my disposal, it was the one I expected to hold up the best.
I went in with very high hopes. Besides my own fond memories of it, it is considered a classic by many others. I even told people I was sure it would live up to my expectations. But the question remains... Does it?
Well, kind of. My opinions here ended up being a lot more nuanced than I thought they would.
Let me start off by saying that I DID enjoy it overall, despite my issues. It's also only fair for me to point out that I ruined the experience for myself slightly by crunching for 101%. See, DKC is at its best when you're playing it after school with other kids, taking turns to beat difficult levels and look for secrets. It's not built for 2000s completionists who will cram it into a few afternoons, like I did. I just don't have the time (or monumental patience) required to search for all of the bonuses myself. A lot of them are ridiculously well-hidden - like, "impossible to find without a guide" well-hidden. 101%ing it inorganically ended up taking away a lot of the magic, unfortunately. Instead of enjoying it at a natural pace, taking my time to explore and search, I was left glancing back and forth between a guide and the screen. That's not to mention the annoyance of dying and replaying the same levels again and again, either. It's not nearly as satisfying of an experience as progressing naturally - but because of the impossibility of 101%ing it in a reasonable amount of time that way, completionists (like me) are left in the dust.
This is why I think the game is better left for occasional, casual play on your own time. If you pick it up, don't worry about finding everything like I did. Get to the end (if you're enjoying yourself enough), then continue playing it to search for things if you WANT to.


SHORT REVIEW

Visuals: 4.5/5
Sound: 5/5
Gameplay: 3/5
Worldbuilding: 4/5
Replayability: 1.5/5
Overall score: 3.5/5


IN-DEPTH REVIEW

Visuals:
DKC is, undeniably, a technical marvel for its time. The visual style and pre-rendered graphics were a big reason why it became such a huge success in the 90s. Even in 2021 it looks impressive.
I particularly love the color usage. There's beautiful sky backgrounds, lush green jungles, snowy white peaks, and much more. A good handful of levels feature rain or the aforementioned snow to add to the ambience, too.
The colors, of course, are given their chance to shine because of the diversity in environments present. On top of those jungles and glaciers, there's factories, temples, caves, and more (including a unique setting for the final battle!) It's amazing to see so many radically different places in a platformer this old.
The character design is pretty decent. There's cool little character animations to add to their personality. That's nice.
I don't know why, but I particularly really like Diddy Kong. His design is cute to me, which is funny, because I hate monkeys (and gorillas.) Other than that, they range from average to bad for me personally. Funky Kong and Cranky Kong are okay. Not a big fan of Donkey Kong. I hate Candy Kong with a burning passion, awful female character design, but what do you expect from the 90s?
If you really want to be picky, the graphics ARE a little dated by today's standards. Still, it doesn't take away from how revolutionary DKC was in this regard when it was first released; nor does it denote that it manages to hold up to this day.
(Unfortunately, my copy for the SNES is a little glitchy, leaving it very static-y. Still, I fully enjoyed looking at the game.)
Overall, 4.5/5.

Sound:
On top of the beautiful visuals, DKC boasts a gorgeous soundtrack that is touted by many as one of the best to this day. It really is amazing. Before this playthrough, I could still recall some of those tunes - which I think says something, given I last played it when I was around 11. The amount of atmosphere the music provides in-game is undeniable. This is definitely another reason DKC is still so iconic.
Ice Cave Chant is the most underrated track.
I also absolutely love the sound effects. I don't know why, but they're all incredibly satisfying. It's one of my favorite things about the game as a whole. I love the sound of Rambi hitting enemies head-on, and the clacking of Klaptrap's teeth.
Overall, 5/5.

Gameplay:
A lot of people will probably disagree with me on some of my points in this section, and that's okay. It's important to be thorough, though. Buckle up.
There's good stuff here, but I also think there are flaws that make playing DKC really frustrating.
Let's talk about the good first. I actually believe the idea of the 'life' system is great on paper; you basically have two lives, one with each Kong, which can be replenished by the DK barrels seen throughout levels. I like that, and I'm fine with the added difficulty in this regard.
I also love how, on top of the diverse environments, each and every level is unique in its mechanics. Many of them have things that only appear in the entire game once, or at most a handful of times. It keeps it fresh. There's a good variety with the bonus level minigames, so none of them get old, either.
Another big plus is that each level eases you into whatever you'll be dealing with next - it'll usually have one easy obstacle before getting into the more taxing stuff, as a sort of small tutorial. I'm a big fan of that.
As for the actual controls, despite their burden in execution, a lot of them are actually really simple. You just have to learn the timing. Now, I don't think simple OR complicated controls are automatically good or bad; it depends on the execution in both regards. In the case of DKC, it definitely benefited from simplicity. With how tough everything else is, convoluted controls would make DKC unplayable.
All of this SHOULD add up to exceptional gameplay, but it doesn't. The life system, the unique mechanics, and the deceptively easy controls get exasperating when the game insists on being way too harsh in every other regard. The hitboxes are janky, and it requires way too precise platforming at points for that to be excusable. The levels can begin to drag on, because you have to replay the same parts over and over again. The devs seemed like they WANTED to make children's lives miserable, with how often they put a single obstacle right before exits that you probably won't avoid first time through.
Again, there's a lot of good here. Yet, I cannot excuse the ridiculous difficulty present in this game, and how frustrating it is. It becomes a slog when you have to repeat things that are often very slow and unreliable. It's possible to learn how to flow through levels - and I'll admit, it is satisfying when you occasionally do - but it takes a lot of time and practice. I just didn't enjoy DKC enough to get that good at it.
Like I said before, this might not be such an issue if you play at a slow pace. Don't binge it to 101% in three days like I did.
Overall, 3/5.

Worldbuilding:
DKC has absolutely fantastic environmental design. The settings are all super memorable, with unique music, enemies, and color palettes to make each one stand out. Even when you go back to familiar places you've already been, it doesn't feel repetitive!
There are some charming characters, too. I particularly find Cranky Kong to be delightful. He's very funny, and I love his role - nagging on his grandkid who has taken his place, complaining that he was a better hero (he talks about the game being a game! It's very meta, I love it.) And like I said, I really like Diddy Kong!
Overall, 4.5/5.

Replayability:
There's definitely an addictiveness to DKC that pushed me to 101% it - and the presentation alone makes it a game worth coming back to every now and then. Still, my problems with the gameplay leave me doubtful that I'll pick it up again any time soon. I think it's best left for casual afternoons every few months or so. Otherwise, it'll become frustrating rather than fun.
Overall, 1.5/5.

Overall game score: 3.5/5. I was hoping to come out of this giving DKC a better score - at least a 4 - but I'm still pretty satisfied with what I got out of it. It's solid enough, with particularly beautiful visuals, sound design, and environmental design. However, it is also extremely frustrating and overly difficult in the gameplay department - though there are pros there, too (like the game's simplicity in controls and ability to keep things fresh.) I still wouldn't really recommend DKC to people outside of those nostalgic for it, or people interested in older games. It's an undeniable piece of gaming history, though, and remains a classic. A good way to kick off 2021.

"I gave it a 4/5 because of the hardness, and the experience and gameplay." - My 9-year-old brother's much more concise review.