appstore
1996
One day I will devote the time it takes to learn how to 1CC this. It's important to have things to look forward to. Everything about how it plays, how it sounds, how it moves, everything about it makes it deserve that kind of attention. Plus, I've never been a bullet hell guy, so, Raizing Forever.
2014
Never thought a pillar could make me so emotional.
2005
I wish I could review the Zune version because that is the one I played most.
I wanted to go back as far as I could on the trending games list until I could find something I owned. This was on page #3295 as of February 2023. It's about that good, but I don't regret playing it because it meant I got to have this experience like fifteen years later.
No one told me this is a franchise that has zombies, and my disappointment when it was time to deal with zombies was such that I gave my copy of this away.
1984
Trackball games rule, this is a complete and unavoidable fact, and it's very sad that it's so hard to recreate them. Mobile's done a decent job but you only get the acceleration of the push and not the satisfaction of the stop and realign motion. Anyways this game is gorgeous art and sound on top of being brilliantly controlled.
I fully cleared this game, but it was in the middle of a five year period of my life where I was drinking my personality down to a blank slate so I could build myself again from scratch, so I cannot tell you a single thing about this game.
2017
A friend of mine who is a conspiracy theorist once called me "god-tier paranoid" because of how many times I patrol my house at night if the walls creak too much, so as cool as so much about Prey is, I do not have the proper nervous system to enjoy the game where inanimate objects are in fact secret murder monsters.
This might be my favorite game that is universally agreed upon as being terrible. I offer no justifications other than me hooting and hollering while I play it.
2020
The point when I started asking why the neon paint was for civilians is the point where I figured this is one of the better games made so far
2006
My favorite FInal Fantasy. I don't like Final Fantasy. You think these things are related.
pouring one out for my homie hakan, street fighter 4 sux tho
1991
This was the first time I ever cried unhappily upon recieving a terrible present. It came from a good place! I loved American Gladiators as a kid, to the point that my first memory involves me sitting on the floor playing with American Gladiators toys. The thing is, I had Sega Channel. This game was always on Sega Channel. My older brother loved playing it, and trying to force me to play it, and it was just horrific. So when I opened the package, I dropped it and immediately began sobbing. I feel like I'd respond similarly if I had to play it now.
2009
pretty much like basketball
2010
Often as fun as trying a restaurant again because there's a big "under new management" sign out front. At least the glitch videos are good. Also fuck EA for making Skate 2 backwards compatible on xbox the same day they turned off the servers. Needlessly cruel.