What makes a game "retro"? Some people consider it's time, but that would mean that The Last of Us is retro, and that's just silly. No no, to me it all boils down to design and technology. Basically, if you release this game as is today, would anyone notice its age? And in DKCR's case, it screams "I AM A WII GAME!"

I've played it on Dolphin and mapped the waggle to a simple button press, but even then it never feels truly gracious. There is a strange weight and momentum to your rolling, doing a roll jump constantly overshoots my target. Bouncing off of enemy heads also never ever felt comfortable to me, in every 2D platformer I can think of, you just hold the button, but here you have to press it right before you hit the enemy. I never liked to control DK very much, even in the SNES - I always spend most of my time with Diddy, but here it's not an option, and I consider that a downgrade.

But even beyond the unnecessary motion controls, this game's level design has a lot of stop-and-go. You blow on shit, pound on crap, wait for the auto-scroller, wait for the moving platform, the further I got into the game, the worse the flow got. I don't recall the last game that lost as much steam as DKCR did for me.

Difficulty felt overtuned too, it's like Retro heard that DKC had a reputation for being a bit challenging, and felt like they had something to prove. Countless design choices and enemy placements that only felt were there to make things harder for no reason, and without any elegance, the SNES games were never this brutal. The game is also extremely stingy with the Diddy barrels.

And sheesh, I almost forgot to talk about the bosses... I consider the whole 2D platformer genre to be pretty mediocre about bosses, but DKCR fails to even hit that low bar. This is probably the worst collection of bosses I've ever faced in a platformer; they're boring, irritating, just waste your time a lot, or all of the above. There was only ONE boss that I actually enjoyed, that being the minecart boss.

I'm saying a lot of negative things, but I did do 100%, collecting every KONG letter, and beating all the secret levels, so I did enjoy the game. But it feels off. Not sure why include the puzzle pieces if they don't do anything though?

And I may think the game is a bit dated mechanically and design-wise, but presentation-wise, this is absolutely timeless. Visuals are very good (it looks particularly fantastic upscaled in 1080p) and take full advantage of being a 3D game, with tons of dynamic stuff happening during the levels, and the sound design is also very appealing. Definitely one of the best-looking games of that generation.

I thought this game would be funny bad but it's actually just the most offensively boring game ever. The combat is bad, the levels are bad, the story is bad, the pistols are infamously broken, the camera is even worse, nothing is good. The enemies and bosses are completely braindead, but they have the biggest health bars so the fights are just extremely boring. The only single good thing about this game is Dante's design, it's pretty cool. But even Dante in this game is boring as a character. I was begging for it to end the whole way through, I'm just glad this game is short.

Radical Entertainment, developers of Road Rage, wanted to take their next Simpsons game in a different direction. Series writers wrote the script for the game and the show's cast reprise their roles for their characters.

Seven levels exist however it is just 3 areas. Level 1, 4 and 7 are the residential area and the nuclear power plant. Level 2 and 5 are downtown Springfield and the highway. Level 3 and 6 are the port and the studios. But as you go on it goes from day to evening and night with Level 7 being Halloween themed due to it being set on 31st October.

Homer, Bart, Marge, Lisa and Apu are playable characters they all share the same move set. Double Jump, Kick, Jump Kick and Ground Pound. They all have their own vehicles with the next vehicles being better than the last.

Coins are needed to buy extra vehicles and costumes. Coins can be obtained by breaking boxes and crates, destroying random objects, finding them on the floor and destroying the main enemy - Alien Wasp Cameras which play an important part in the story. Gags are also hidden which can be found by finding blue sparkles.

Obtaining extra vehicles can be done by buying them from specific characters for missions or Gill, winning three different races, Time Trail, Circuit Race and Checkpoint Race and completing bonus missions. Costumes can also be bought with Lisa, Marge and Apu needing a specific costume to complete missions.

Collectable cards can be found all over which give references to iconic Simpsons episodes.

Cars play an important job needing to use them to complete missions.

The main story is about Kang and Kodas using the wasp cameras to film the humans for an intergalactic TV show. But when the ratings go down, they use the new Buzz Cola to awaken the dead.

This is an amazing game with great ideas. Though the levels get harder as you go on the reward is worth it. This game needs a remake for fans new and old to enjoy. You must play this game it's so worth it.

While this is not the worst licence game, the task of reaching $1,000,000 is tedious, repetitive and boring.

The places where you can go to deliver passengers are Evergreen Terrance, Entertainment District, Springfield Dam, Nuclear Power plant, Downtown and Springfield Mountains. Though Evergreen Terrance is the only area available at the start, reaching a reward amount will either allow you to go to new places or unlock new characters.

The characters available at the start are the Simpsons family but as you reach the amount you will be able to unlock new characters like Moe to Snake with their voice actors returning to their characters.

Mr. Burns has bought the buses and has upgraded them to be nuclear powered. During the game the buses and Burns will try and bump into you which can be very annoying when you try to deliver passengers.

While this is a passable game, The Simpsons Game and Hit & Run are superior in every way, so play those instead.

the more i peel back of GTA V, the less i like it. i suspect this rule will be consistent and exponential with successive time invested but i dislike a lot of its tone and narrative direction, pastiche you've seen everywhere else stitched together with rockstars trademark cynicism and satire, like a napalm strike that misses every target it should hit. really something that this game might age harder than GTA IV, a game i at least have some interest in returning to. in general red dead remains a better fit for these writing chops, if only for imbuing the world with a touch of humanity despite still being populated by the usual gallery of assholes (the houser brothers seem to have built their fortunes on getting good performers to wring out any kind of charisma from their flaccid scripts)

that said...the 'generous' score here is because im playing this with my gf, whose suggestions are pure id, and therefore im playing exactly the way rockstar intends for me to play. spending a day from dawn til dusk with this itinerary:
- strip club in the morning
- high speed police chase throughout town after some sidewalk shenanigans
- absolutely demolish my dodge challenger in the process
- wind up next to the games mountain trail, punch a dude off a bmx and steal it
- gf suggests making our way to the spire to take the cable car, i fend off several mountain lions in the process
- read emails before taking the cable car from franklins ex-girlfriend insisting their relationship is over
- took a cable car down to earth from my picturesque vantage point, basking in the night sky while the piercing sounds of sirens welcomed my return to the hustle and bustle of the daily grind
...inadvertently told a more quaint story than a short hike