jtduckman
1995
good lord what in the hell is this
I know that the CD-i isn't a powerful piece of hardware, and that getting pretty much anything that isn't a static picture to run on the darn thing is a herculean task for the system. But I kinda expect a compilation title of 3 early 80s arcade games to at least have some sort of consistency here. It really feels like each game was ported by a completely different team using completely different bases, and they threw it all on a disc regardless. Galaxian looks like a port of the famicom version, except weirdly smoother than I remember it feeling. Galaga takes forever to load, is letterboxed in its own tiny window for some reason, uses what I assume to be recordings of the arcade audio for its sound effects, and has a weird low-res jittery image to it, almost like they are doing some sort of unholy interlacing to the whole game in order to fit its miniscule resolution. Ms. Pac-man looks like it takes inspiration from the 16-bit tengen ports, though it lacks the pac-booster option to make the gameplay frenetic that those versions have. The sound effects for Ms. Pac-man are also off and your hitbox is way too deep into your character.
At the end of the day, even bizarro-world weird versions of these namco arcade games are still pretty fun all things considered. I'm just confused why the hell this game even exists. This came out in 1996, where by then the PS1, saturn, and N64 were the focus of gaming. Why the hell did Namco greenlight such a hodgepodge of ports for the CD-i of all things by then?????? Who the hell was buying this???? Truly a gaming enigma. Worth a play if you are an insane and curious namco fan like me, otherwise it's really not worth the effort to check out, just play ANY namco museum or something jesus christ
I know that the CD-i isn't a powerful piece of hardware, and that getting pretty much anything that isn't a static picture to run on the darn thing is a herculean task for the system. But I kinda expect a compilation title of 3 early 80s arcade games to at least have some sort of consistency here. It really feels like each game was ported by a completely different team using completely different bases, and they threw it all on a disc regardless. Galaxian looks like a port of the famicom version, except weirdly smoother than I remember it feeling. Galaga takes forever to load, is letterboxed in its own tiny window for some reason, uses what I assume to be recordings of the arcade audio for its sound effects, and has a weird low-res jittery image to it, almost like they are doing some sort of unholy interlacing to the whole game in order to fit its miniscule resolution. Ms. Pac-man looks like it takes inspiration from the 16-bit tengen ports, though it lacks the pac-booster option to make the gameplay frenetic that those versions have. The sound effects for Ms. Pac-man are also off and your hitbox is way too deep into your character.
At the end of the day, even bizarro-world weird versions of these namco arcade games are still pretty fun all things considered. I'm just confused why the hell this game even exists. This came out in 1996, where by then the PS1, saturn, and N64 were the focus of gaming. Why the hell did Namco greenlight such a hodgepodge of ports for the CD-i of all things by then?????? Who the hell was buying this???? Truly a gaming enigma. Worth a play if you are an insane and curious namco fan like me, otherwise it's really not worth the effort to check out, just play ANY namco museum or something jesus christ
1992
GIIIIIIIIIIIIRLS CLUB
GIIIIIIIIIRLS CLUB PARTY
Fuck yeah, we got a CD-i equivalent to those really strange early 90s FMV party games on 3DO that I enjoy a bit too much! This shit is up there with like toejam and earl 1 in terms of aesthetic presentation dude, it's got that nickelodeon sitcom dregs-of-the-80s-carried-to-the-nineties style to it. You know the one.
The game itself is a party game that supports up to four players with only one controller. The game basically consists of the CD-i generating 4 random dudes and you need to pick which one is the dreamiest while also guessing which ones your fellow bachelorettes would want to date based off of the likes and dislikes that they put down. I put it on the record that my type has to have a "columbo meets sans" fashion sense, be a goofy kind of dude, hardcore into lawnmowing, and aspires to be an entrepreneur. I ended up going for this dude that writes poetry, plays the bongos in a succulent fashion, hates capitalism, is hella into lawnmowing, and went on to become the CEO of a greeting card company. Fuck yeah.
Regrettably, I played this solo with 3 CPU players, and while I was very happy to see that each CPU character has their own FMV animation of them using a CD-i controller to select their choices in the game (a very important attention to detail that most games do not have with their CPU characters), I do wonder how different the experience would be with actual people. On one hand, things could be too easy given the fact that if I was with real people and they saw me losing my mind over Patrick's lawn mowing hustle, they'd know I would never leave his side until the end of eternity. On the other hand, you could absolutely very blatantly lie about which dude you are going for, which makes the game absolutely impossible at that point turning it into a completely blind guessing game. I guess I'll have to bust the ol' CD-i out next time I have friends over for some field research in that regard (but not before locking the door so they can't escape).
If this game is actually kino with friends then I'll bump this rating up by a star retroactively because I love dumb shit like this I eat it up like its breakfast. I figured that the 3DO and CD-i would share a lot of similar game ideas and vibes, so I'm glad there's a stupid party game on the thing. Hell, this game actually predates 3DO stuff like Twisted, station invasion, and zhadnost, so if anything the CD-i did it first. A true period piece of its time.
bro did you also know the composer behind the bangin opening is the same mfer that did the entire tetris CD-i OST????
GIIIIIIIIIRLS CLUB PARTY
Fuck yeah, we got a CD-i equivalent to those really strange early 90s FMV party games on 3DO that I enjoy a bit too much! This shit is up there with like toejam and earl 1 in terms of aesthetic presentation dude, it's got that nickelodeon sitcom dregs-of-the-80s-carried-to-the-nineties style to it. You know the one.
The game itself is a party game that supports up to four players with only one controller. The game basically consists of the CD-i generating 4 random dudes and you need to pick which one is the dreamiest while also guessing which ones your fellow bachelorettes would want to date based off of the likes and dislikes that they put down. I put it on the record that my type has to have a "columbo meets sans" fashion sense, be a goofy kind of dude, hardcore into lawnmowing, and aspires to be an entrepreneur. I ended up going for this dude that writes poetry, plays the bongos in a succulent fashion, hates capitalism, is hella into lawnmowing, and went on to become the CEO of a greeting card company. Fuck yeah.
Regrettably, I played this solo with 3 CPU players, and while I was very happy to see that each CPU character has their own FMV animation of them using a CD-i controller to select their choices in the game (a very important attention to detail that most games do not have with their CPU characters), I do wonder how different the experience would be with actual people. On one hand, things could be too easy given the fact that if I was with real people and they saw me losing my mind over Patrick's lawn mowing hustle, they'd know I would never leave his side until the end of eternity. On the other hand, you could absolutely very blatantly lie about which dude you are going for, which makes the game absolutely impossible at that point turning it into a completely blind guessing game. I guess I'll have to bust the ol' CD-i out next time I have friends over for some field research in that regard (but not before locking the door so they can't escape).
If this game is actually kino with friends then I'll bump this rating up by a star retroactively because I love dumb shit like this I eat it up like its breakfast. I figured that the 3DO and CD-i would share a lot of similar game ideas and vibes, so I'm glad there's a stupid party game on the thing. Hell, this game actually predates 3DO stuff like Twisted, station invasion, and zhadnost, so if anything the CD-i did it first. A true period piece of its time.
bro did you also know the composer behind the bangin opening is the same mfer that did the entire tetris CD-i OST????
2022
vibes as all hell. The mere existence of this game is kinda subversive imo. The harolds walk guy still making his neat little explorative games on 3DS when the eshop was about to close and the switch was on its fifth year of life really just says something, yanno?
A lot of what I said about harolds walk can be said here except things are done in a grander scale here. Just this gigantic bizarre world populated with nothing but collectables, with no explanation on what to do, where to go, or what anything means, really. Despite the absolute lack of any direction, the game does a good job still making its primary objective of collecting all the things in the levels rather clear. It's one of those games that lets you do things however you want, and I liked that kind of freedom as I just took in the various different levels n setpieces as I found things along the way.
The game is no longer available on the 3DS itself but there's a steam version that I bought anyways to support my boy Luke Vincent. Given the fact that this is an extremely late 3DS title compounded by the visuals being like better-than-PS1-but-not-quite-like-dreamcast in quality, I don't know if the vibes particularly translate to the PC environment. But its def better to have the game still available somewhere rather than have it be stuck on a dead platform, plus its better to support one-man projects like this in any way possible. Give it a try!
A lot of what I said about harolds walk can be said here except things are done in a grander scale here. Just this gigantic bizarre world populated with nothing but collectables, with no explanation on what to do, where to go, or what anything means, really. Despite the absolute lack of any direction, the game does a good job still making its primary objective of collecting all the things in the levels rather clear. It's one of those games that lets you do things however you want, and I liked that kind of freedom as I just took in the various different levels n setpieces as I found things along the way.
The game is no longer available on the 3DS itself but there's a steam version that I bought anyways to support my boy Luke Vincent. Given the fact that this is an extremely late 3DS title compounded by the visuals being like better-than-PS1-but-not-quite-like-dreamcast in quality, I don't know if the vibes particularly translate to the PC environment. But its def better to have the game still available somewhere rather than have it be stuck on a dead platform, plus its better to support one-man projects like this in any way possible. Give it a try!
...really?
This is supposed to be the "worst" zelda game? The game so infamously awful that it spawned the reactionary absurdist art for that is the YTP??? The game so irredeemably terrible that Nintendo themselves would rather bleach it entirely out of the canon, out of the official release timeline, and out of the public conciousness??? Perhaps I have high kusoge pain tolerance, but I actually found this game quite impressive.
The game is entirely side-scrolling, with areas segmented into these little 2-4 screen mini levels that usually have an item or a boss fight at the end. The game uses scanned images of hand-drawn pictures to form the level backgrounds, and it works surprisingly well. The collision detection functions rather solidly. The controls take a little bit of time to get used to, as theres the typical zelda item-based gameplay at play when the CD-i controller only has 2 functional buttons, so the pause/inventory screen is done by pushing the item button while crouching. It does mean you unfortunately can't pause the game or switch/use items in front of any door, as the second button becomes a context-sensitive door use button. Juggling between the lamp and other items to keep dark rooms visible is also a bit of a pain. Outside of that, the control feels rather solid. While I initially thought it would play more like zelda 2 given the side-scrolling perspective, this game actually feels like a bit of a mix between castlevania and ghosts n goblins. It has the slow, methodical pace and movement as castlevania yet the more lateral level design and "throw shit at the wall" enemy placement that loves to be just too high or too low to hit def reminded me of ghosts n goblins. The only part in the game that's actual horseshit is the final level, ganon's lair. There are too many got damn snakes that do too much got damn damage and sometimes the high enemy count lags the CD-i to a crawl.
The game def has some design problems but its nowhere near as absolutely garbage as I was led to believe all this time on the internet. If anything, the fact that they made a game like this work so decently on what is essentially a beefed-up photo CD player is really lowkey impressive. The OST also bumps way harder than it has any right to, even with tracks that dynamically change depending on whether you are indoors or outdoors. I honestly had more fun playing this than I did with some actual Nintendo-ass zelda games. Would definitely suggest giving the game an earnest play-through instead of just brushing it off as "the funny bad meme zelda game". You might be surprised.
This is supposed to be the "worst" zelda game? The game so infamously awful that it spawned the reactionary absurdist art for that is the YTP??? The game so irredeemably terrible that Nintendo themselves would rather bleach it entirely out of the canon, out of the official release timeline, and out of the public conciousness??? Perhaps I have high kusoge pain tolerance, but I actually found this game quite impressive.
The game is entirely side-scrolling, with areas segmented into these little 2-4 screen mini levels that usually have an item or a boss fight at the end. The game uses scanned images of hand-drawn pictures to form the level backgrounds, and it works surprisingly well. The collision detection functions rather solidly. The controls take a little bit of time to get used to, as theres the typical zelda item-based gameplay at play when the CD-i controller only has 2 functional buttons, so the pause/inventory screen is done by pushing the item button while crouching. It does mean you unfortunately can't pause the game or switch/use items in front of any door, as the second button becomes a context-sensitive door use button. Juggling between the lamp and other items to keep dark rooms visible is also a bit of a pain. Outside of that, the control feels rather solid. While I initially thought it would play more like zelda 2 given the side-scrolling perspective, this game actually feels like a bit of a mix between castlevania and ghosts n goblins. It has the slow, methodical pace and movement as castlevania yet the more lateral level design and "throw shit at the wall" enemy placement that loves to be just too high or too low to hit def reminded me of ghosts n goblins. The only part in the game that's actual horseshit is the final level, ganon's lair. There are too many got damn snakes that do too much got damn damage and sometimes the high enemy count lags the CD-i to a crawl.
The game def has some design problems but its nowhere near as absolutely garbage as I was led to believe all this time on the internet. If anything, the fact that they made a game like this work so decently on what is essentially a beefed-up photo CD player is really lowkey impressive. The OST also bumps way harder than it has any right to, even with tracks that dynamically change depending on whether you are indoors or outdoors. I honestly had more fun playing this than I did with some actual Nintendo-ass zelda games. Would definitely suggest giving the game an earnest play-through instead of just brushing it off as "the funny bad meme zelda game". You might be surprised.
1999
God Damn.
The first Tokimemo game was an honest stroke of genius. While it certainly wasn't the first gal game, Konami used their experience in game development to make a social simulator that gamifies the high school experience in a way that combines the snappy, quick, replayable nature of arcade games with the narrative and stat growth systems of then-contemporary console and PC games. With the sequel, Konami set their sights to the goddamn moon. and they actually delivered.
The core gameplay remains unchanged between this game and its predecessor. There's still the fun balancing act of having to juggle academic stats, personal health stats, and relationship stats within your 2 actions per week. The iconic bomb system is here, albeit nerfed a tad (I don't think I had more than one bomb at once to worry about on my playthrough here, whereas tokimemo 1 might as well have been mfin bombergirl). They didn't bother reinventing the game mechanics, instead focusing on bolstering those mechanics with a world as dense and alive as the Playstation 1 could possibly provide.
The cast of characters in this game is much more vibrant and quirky here than in game 1, for better or for worse. It can make the game feel a bit more tropey than the more reserved and down to earth vibes that the first game provided, but it also has a bit more spice in it because of that. There's even a prologue section to establish childhood friend relationships/give the player a personality test that influences stat growth in the proper game, rather than just throwing you into high school with no proper context of your classmates. Despite each character usually having a central trope or gimmick, none of the characters are one-note and have a myriad of different events and situations to enjoy. Each of them live different lifestyles, and as such require completely different approaches. Even the dude side character has gone from the comedic relief sleazeball homie that hooks you up but isn't a threat in the first game to two rival characters that look for love of their own, even potentially competing with you. Hell, they even managed to make a GOOD Ijuuin character!!! Characters are what make or break a game like this, and this game has an extremely strong cast.
The world and overall interaction with it is done with such a bespoke attention to detail, it's crazy. Characters have a myriad of outfits they wear depending on the weather and their affection with you. You can choose which honorifics to use with each character, where calling characters differently at different stages in their relationship yields different results. There's a seasonal brochure you get every few in-game months that lists various timed events and happenings in the area, whether you care about them or not. You can even sacrifice an entire memory cards worth of data to create voice synthesis data for a girl of your choosing to pronounce your name in dialogue. To put the amount of content this game has in terms of detail into comparison here, this game uses a whopping five discs to contain all the different events, interactions, and variations of everything, yet completing a run still only takes 8-10 hours. The world density also makes the game incredibly personal; no two runs will ever be the same. I highly suggest finding someone else to play through the game alongside you to compare and contrast how each of your playthroughs and school lives are going.
Overall, yeah. They took the already incredibly solid base the first game had, and polished it to a wonderful, glistening sheen. The technical culmination of the genre. The gal game to end all gal games. The Gran Turismo 4 of dating sims. With how modern hardware is and game budgets/manpower ballooning to the point they are today, I doubt there could be another game to challenge this games relative scope for its time. It really does feel like konami gave the tokimemo team a blank check to make the best thing they possibly could, and they succeeded. I can't say something like that could ever happen again. Did I also mention that the OST and its many arrangements are absolute bangers?
I have a pretty big backlog to the point where a lot of games I play are one-and-dones, but I can safely say for certain this won't be the last time I play through this game. I've only got Miyuki's ending, there's still so much more to do! An absolute must-play.
The first Tokimemo game was an honest stroke of genius. While it certainly wasn't the first gal game, Konami used their experience in game development to make a social simulator that gamifies the high school experience in a way that combines the snappy, quick, replayable nature of arcade games with the narrative and stat growth systems of then-contemporary console and PC games. With the sequel, Konami set their sights to the goddamn moon. and they actually delivered.
The core gameplay remains unchanged between this game and its predecessor. There's still the fun balancing act of having to juggle academic stats, personal health stats, and relationship stats within your 2 actions per week. The iconic bomb system is here, albeit nerfed a tad (I don't think I had more than one bomb at once to worry about on my playthrough here, whereas tokimemo 1 might as well have been mfin bombergirl). They didn't bother reinventing the game mechanics, instead focusing on bolstering those mechanics with a world as dense and alive as the Playstation 1 could possibly provide.
The cast of characters in this game is much more vibrant and quirky here than in game 1, for better or for worse. It can make the game feel a bit more tropey than the more reserved and down to earth vibes that the first game provided, but it also has a bit more spice in it because of that. There's even a prologue section to establish childhood friend relationships/give the player a personality test that influences stat growth in the proper game, rather than just throwing you into high school with no proper context of your classmates. Despite each character usually having a central trope or gimmick, none of the characters are one-note and have a myriad of different events and situations to enjoy. Each of them live different lifestyles, and as such require completely different approaches. Even the dude side character has gone from the comedic relief sleazeball homie that hooks you up but isn't a threat in the first game to two rival characters that look for love of their own, even potentially competing with you. Hell, they even managed to make a GOOD Ijuuin character!!! Characters are what make or break a game like this, and this game has an extremely strong cast.
The world and overall interaction with it is done with such a bespoke attention to detail, it's crazy. Characters have a myriad of outfits they wear depending on the weather and their affection with you. You can choose which honorifics to use with each character, where calling characters differently at different stages in their relationship yields different results. There's a seasonal brochure you get every few in-game months that lists various timed events and happenings in the area, whether you care about them or not. You can even sacrifice an entire memory cards worth of data to create voice synthesis data for a girl of your choosing to pronounce your name in dialogue. To put the amount of content this game has in terms of detail into comparison here, this game uses a whopping five discs to contain all the different events, interactions, and variations of everything, yet completing a run still only takes 8-10 hours. The world density also makes the game incredibly personal; no two runs will ever be the same. I highly suggest finding someone else to play through the game alongside you to compare and contrast how each of your playthroughs and school lives are going.
Overall, yeah. They took the already incredibly solid base the first game had, and polished it to a wonderful, glistening sheen. The technical culmination of the genre. The gal game to end all gal games. The Gran Turismo 4 of dating sims. With how modern hardware is and game budgets/manpower ballooning to the point they are today, I doubt there could be another game to challenge this games relative scope for its time. It really does feel like konami gave the tokimemo team a blank check to make the best thing they possibly could, and they succeeded. I can't say something like that could ever happen again. Did I also mention that the OST and its many arrangements are absolute bangers?
I have a pretty big backlog to the point where a lot of games I play are one-and-dones, but I can safely say for certain this won't be the last time I play through this game. I've only got Miyuki's ending, there's still so much more to do! An absolute must-play.
It do be taisen puzzle-dama but tokimemo 2 flavored. They really had puzzle game spinoffs for everything back in the day, eh? Not really much differentiates this from the other puzzle-damas of the same type like twinbee and tokimemo 1s puzzle-dama edition. Though if you like Tokimemo 2 (and I definitely am, I'm still playing through it as of writing this but i can assure you that shits undeniably kino), then you are going to like this.
1992
This game was the real reason why I bought a CD-i. The most beautiful photorealistic animated backgrounds of nature adorn the edges of your tetris playfield monolith, while the smoothest, most weather-channel-core kind-of-vaporwave-but-not-really music plays. While the purpose of it was likely to showcase how CD media can be used to make a more "real" game compared to other variations of tetris up to this point, it also turned this game into an incredible aesthetic piece/time capsule.
As an actual tetris game, it's kinda mid at best. Only one direction to rotate the pieces, true random piece selection, no soft dropping, hard dropping relegated to a button press instead of the more logical up/down input, and no lock delay making having a low pile integral to survival. Despite all those problems, it's still Tetris. And I like Tetris. The game has a bespoke scenic background and song for each speed level, which does mean every 10 or so lines the game has to stop and load in the next level which can break the pace a bit. For once, I wish I wasn't so decent at Tetris so that I could spend more time in each level to really soak in the atmosphere.
I've heard this game be described as a proto-Tetris Effect due to its heavy aesthetic emphasis and I definitely see the similarities. Even when I made a mistake due to the myriad of minor gameplay gripes, I was never frustrated. If anything, starting over was exciting because I could vibe through the game from the beginning all over again. This game is basically the killer app of the system for me. It's a bit obscure, it's got that optimistic 90's CD-ROM energy, it's got an extremely strong aesthetic, and it's not the best in the gameplay department. Can you get any more CD-i than that?
As an actual tetris game, it's kinda mid at best. Only one direction to rotate the pieces, true random piece selection, no soft dropping, hard dropping relegated to a button press instead of the more logical up/down input, and no lock delay making having a low pile integral to survival. Despite all those problems, it's still Tetris. And I like Tetris. The game has a bespoke scenic background and song for each speed level, which does mean every 10 or so lines the game has to stop and load in the next level which can break the pace a bit. For once, I wish I wasn't so decent at Tetris so that I could spend more time in each level to really soak in the atmosphere.
I've heard this game be described as a proto-Tetris Effect due to its heavy aesthetic emphasis and I definitely see the similarities. Even when I made a mistake due to the myriad of minor gameplay gripes, I was never frustrated. If anything, starting over was exciting because I could vibe through the game from the beginning all over again. This game is basically the killer app of the system for me. It's a bit obscure, it's got that optimistic 90's CD-ROM energy, it's got an extremely strong aesthetic, and it's not the best in the gameplay department. Can you get any more CD-i than that?
those mfers at nintendo took my least favorite parts from the zelda games and made a whole game out of em. And then told me to play it entirely with a stylus. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I remember when this game was announced, thinking it was just going to be a port of the first space channel 5 to VR, and was pleasantly surprised when they said that it was going to be its own bespoke game. Unfortunately, like a LOT of other VR titles, this game doesn't really have enough meat on its bones to justify the price point. The whole campaign of the game PLUS the extra miku DLC can be finished in less than an hour, which for the 30 dollar total price point, ehhhhhh its not really the best dollar-to-content ratio, that's for sure.
The game is pretty much exactly what to expect from a space channel 5 game in VR. The button and D-pad controls are entirely replaced with gestures, and there's a decent enough sense of immersion inside of the space channel 5 world. The gesture controls are a bit understandably loose since if they were too strict the game could be really frustrating, but also the looseness makes it feel like I could just wave my arms around and hit the correct poses/gestures. Didn't help that there's no way to recenter your person, so I was slowly getting shorter as the game was progressing. There are only 4 levels in here (five if you count the miku DLC), and the new songs are great! Though the lyrics in some songs are localized a bit roughly, with verses that feel like they are said by the micro machines man with how many syllables crammed into em. The plot is a giant pile of nothing, given the short runtime. None of the new or returning characters really get any time to be in the limelight, not really even Ulala. Visually the game still has the space channel 5 dreamcasty vibes to it, though being in VR makes things like lower-poly environments and sparsely expressive characters stick out all the more. When there are big crowds of people all dancing around it felt less like I was in a big lively party and more that I was in a room with a bunch of dancing mannequins, shit was a bit uncanny. Also due to being in VR, the fancy camerawork and setpieces are gone as the game is entirely in first person and you are standing behind ulala most of the game, and there can't be a lot of movement so as not to give players motion sickness. I didn't feel bad playing it and I am particularly sensitive to VR stuff, so hey, mission accomplished on that front.
There's definite care put into this game, as I was following its development it really seemed like the dev team put their all into making a new Space Channel 5. I just think this is the weakest out of the 3 by a pretty large margin, and for the price they ask for (which VERY rarely gets discounted) it's just not really worth it imo. I feel like if you are a space channel 5 fan it'd be a bit underwhelming to play this after the first 2 games, and if you aren't a space channel 5 fan, you'd think it's just a boneless VR rhythm game. If it were like 5-10 bucks then I'd say go for it. At least my money goes towards telling sega I want to see more space channel 5, right? That's how it works, right??? Right??????
I will admit, it was amusing to see ulala and the gang crucified to fidget spinners though, so it's got that going for it. Sad to see a lack of space Michael anywhere, but I understand why he's not here.
The game is pretty much exactly what to expect from a space channel 5 game in VR. The button and D-pad controls are entirely replaced with gestures, and there's a decent enough sense of immersion inside of the space channel 5 world. The gesture controls are a bit understandably loose since if they were too strict the game could be really frustrating, but also the looseness makes it feel like I could just wave my arms around and hit the correct poses/gestures. Didn't help that there's no way to recenter your person, so I was slowly getting shorter as the game was progressing. There are only 4 levels in here (five if you count the miku DLC), and the new songs are great! Though the lyrics in some songs are localized a bit roughly, with verses that feel like they are said by the micro machines man with how many syllables crammed into em. The plot is a giant pile of nothing, given the short runtime. None of the new or returning characters really get any time to be in the limelight, not really even Ulala. Visually the game still has the space channel 5 dreamcasty vibes to it, though being in VR makes things like lower-poly environments and sparsely expressive characters stick out all the more. When there are big crowds of people all dancing around it felt less like I was in a big lively party and more that I was in a room with a bunch of dancing mannequins, shit was a bit uncanny. Also due to being in VR, the fancy camerawork and setpieces are gone as the game is entirely in first person and you are standing behind ulala most of the game, and there can't be a lot of movement so as not to give players motion sickness. I didn't feel bad playing it and I am particularly sensitive to VR stuff, so hey, mission accomplished on that front.
There's definite care put into this game, as I was following its development it really seemed like the dev team put their all into making a new Space Channel 5. I just think this is the weakest out of the 3 by a pretty large margin, and for the price they ask for (which VERY rarely gets discounted) it's just not really worth it imo. I feel like if you are a space channel 5 fan it'd be a bit underwhelming to play this after the first 2 games, and if you aren't a space channel 5 fan, you'd think it's just a boneless VR rhythm game. If it were like 5-10 bucks then I'd say go for it. At least my money goes towards telling sega I want to see more space channel 5, right? That's how it works, right??? Right??????
I will admit, it was amusing to see ulala and the gang crucified to fidget spinners though, so it's got that going for it. Sad to see a lack of space Michael anywhere, but I understand why he's not here.
im never eating at burger king again dude jesus christ
streamed this to the boys in a late-night VC and it was as funny as it was viscerally disgusting. Did burger kings just have CD-is in the back for training purposes? There's not much in the way of gameplay, considering the fact that this is an employee training program. There are 2 different videos; one for general orientation and one for learning how to operate the various broilers that may be in the establishment. Ask your manager if you don't know which one to train for. The general orientation video is your standard fare, the CEO spouts some corporate bullshit, badda bing badda boom. The broiler training is where the stuff of nightmares comes from. Seeing the broilers shit out greasy floppy patties gave me the same primal disgust as watching a live birth in health class.
I don't really know what else to say here, it's a 1990s training video. I guess burger king employees are used to the unspeakable horrors that happen inside the kitchen, because I sure couldn't handle seeing that shit on the daily, let alone eating that slop that comes out. At least the soundtrack is a banger and the video quality is actually quite high. Definitely wouldn't recommend checking out on your own, but it is quite amusing to look at with friends.
streamed this to the boys in a late-night VC and it was as funny as it was viscerally disgusting. Did burger kings just have CD-is in the back for training purposes? There's not much in the way of gameplay, considering the fact that this is an employee training program. There are 2 different videos; one for general orientation and one for learning how to operate the various broilers that may be in the establishment. Ask your manager if you don't know which one to train for. The general orientation video is your standard fare, the CEO spouts some corporate bullshit, badda bing badda boom. The broiler training is where the stuff of nightmares comes from. Seeing the broilers shit out greasy floppy patties gave me the same primal disgust as watching a live birth in health class.
I don't really know what else to say here, it's a 1990s training video. I guess burger king employees are used to the unspeakable horrors that happen inside the kitchen, because I sure couldn't handle seeing that shit on the daily, let alone eating that slop that comes out. At least the soundtrack is a banger and the video quality is actually quite high. Definitely wouldn't recommend checking out on your own, but it is quite amusing to look at with friends.
2005
Man, nothing more me-core than "I should play some gizmondo while waiting for fedex to deliver my CD-i" today. I gotta play all like 12 of the games on that thing before it melts, yanno? Honestly this game has no right being this solid when it's stuck as an exclusive for a console more known for being linked to a mafia than being an actual system for playing games.
It's a physics based puzzle game where you knock balls around billiards-style in order to stick em together. If all of a color is stuck together, it clears out and you get points. Clearing all of the balls on a board takes ya to the next level, it's very arcadey. The depth comes from the fact that you have a limited number of shots, though connecting one loose ball to another of its color gets you your shot back. It's all about observing the board and knowing what the best course of action is for getting clear shots in the right order, and honestly given the solid physics there's a lot of player agency on board. Probably a decent skill ceiling, though I can't imagine many other people have played it enough to really wring out any potential depth here, considering the whole "gizmondo exclusive" thing this game has going on. It makes sense that this game is also so solid too, considering the fact it was made by the Pickford Brothers, of Plok and Wetrix fame. Apparently it was going to be a PSP game but somehow got relegated to the ol mafia. As it happens. I guess it got an iOS port though, so hey! that's something. If you are one of the statistically improbable that has a gizmondo, this is probably in the killer app territory. Which really isn't saying much. The game has a really funny name, too!
It's a physics based puzzle game where you knock balls around billiards-style in order to stick em together. If all of a color is stuck together, it clears out and you get points. Clearing all of the balls on a board takes ya to the next level, it's very arcadey. The depth comes from the fact that you have a limited number of shots, though connecting one loose ball to another of its color gets you your shot back. It's all about observing the board and knowing what the best course of action is for getting clear shots in the right order, and honestly given the solid physics there's a lot of player agency on board. Probably a decent skill ceiling, though I can't imagine many other people have played it enough to really wring out any potential depth here, considering the whole "gizmondo exclusive" thing this game has going on. It makes sense that this game is also so solid too, considering the fact it was made by the Pickford Brothers, of Plok and Wetrix fame. Apparently it was going to be a PSP game but somehow got relegated to the ol mafia. As it happens. I guess it got an iOS port though, so hey! that's something. If you are one of the statistically improbable that has a gizmondo, this is probably in the killer app territory. Which really isn't saying much. The game has a really funny name, too!
1991
So I just got a CD-i today. I've been looking for one for YEARS, and while the systems legacy today lies within the infamous licensed Nintendo titles, those weren't the reason why I was looking so hard. It was the stranger, more obscure titles in the library that hooked me in. Like this game right here: Connect Four. When I was alphabetically scrolling through the CD-i library back in the day and I saw this, I was so simultaneously confused and intrigued. Were people in 1991 really spending full-ass game money on a game for a system that uses the latest-and-greatest optical media technology just to play ONE extremely simple board game?
On one hand, I get it. The CD-i was supposed to be more than just a game console catering to hardcore gaming gamers, and rather be an all-in-one media box that can handle your disc-based music, photos, and movies (provided you have the expansion cart to do so), with the games being an extra side bonus. It makes sense for a more casual, relatable game like connect four to be a standalone release on the console to attract them non-gamers to the world of interactive media. But at the same time, I feel like Connect Four being a standalone title makes sense more on something like the atari 2600. But I guess considering that system was also targeting the same crowd of non-gamers (seeing as in that time, there weren't any "core gamers") it all comes around full circle.
As for the game itself: it is precisely what it says on the box. There are a few vibin early-90s FMV intros, a smooth-voiced narrator that explains the controls, you pick one out of eight(!) colors to use, and you play against either the computer or another person in that game you see in every doctors office waiting room. No extra skins, no music, just connect four in the grey CD-i world. I don't have either a second controller nor a second player to do the 2 player, so I played against the CPU. I suck at connect four, even the easiest AI kept kicking my ass. Eventually I got a few games off of them, but the CD-i def got hands. There is an undo move button that you can use as much as you want, which means if you really want you can just spam it and TAS-twerk on the hardest difficulty CPU no problem, but I am a man of connect four bushido honor. Once you've had your fill of connecting four, selecting "no" to playing again not only plays the entire credits, but also kicks you back out to the CD-i boot menu. In one sense it's kinda raw that the game goes "okay, goodbye" and confidently exits itself when you've had enough, but also there were times where I accidentally hit no when I meant to hit yes and had to reboot the whole ass system. The credits even have a special thanks section of 4 people in it. I wonder what those people did to get themselves credited that way in this game... A true gaming mystery of all time.
It's a very nothing game but like what the hell do you expect from connect four. Can't say I can really recommend it in any capacity due to the hassle that is (and I assume even for its time, was) getting the ability to play CD-i games. If you really want to play Connect four, play the real ass board game, it's probably at your local goodwill if you don't have it. There are probably WEBSITES that offer more featured connect four than this in our current modern age. But on a personal sense I'm extremely glad I have a CD-i now so I can satiate that years-long curiosity I have had for games like this. I'm not even joking, I was more hyped to play this than I have been for ANY PS5 game. I hope to review more CD-i games (including those four titles, despite how beaten those dead horses are), but knowing my backlog things will prob be sporadic. I paid 300 dollars to play mfin connect four. Sometimes even I question my taste in games.
On one hand, I get it. The CD-i was supposed to be more than just a game console catering to hardcore gaming gamers, and rather be an all-in-one media box that can handle your disc-based music, photos, and movies (provided you have the expansion cart to do so), with the games being an extra side bonus. It makes sense for a more casual, relatable game like connect four to be a standalone release on the console to attract them non-gamers to the world of interactive media. But at the same time, I feel like Connect Four being a standalone title makes sense more on something like the atari 2600. But I guess considering that system was also targeting the same crowd of non-gamers (seeing as in that time, there weren't any "core gamers") it all comes around full circle.
As for the game itself: it is precisely what it says on the box. There are a few vibin early-90s FMV intros, a smooth-voiced narrator that explains the controls, you pick one out of eight(!) colors to use, and you play against either the computer or another person in that game you see in every doctors office waiting room. No extra skins, no music, just connect four in the grey CD-i world. I don't have either a second controller nor a second player to do the 2 player, so I played against the CPU. I suck at connect four, even the easiest AI kept kicking my ass. Eventually I got a few games off of them, but the CD-i def got hands. There is an undo move button that you can use as much as you want, which means if you really want you can just spam it and TAS-twerk on the hardest difficulty CPU no problem, but I am a man of connect four bushido honor. Once you've had your fill of connecting four, selecting "no" to playing again not only plays the entire credits, but also kicks you back out to the CD-i boot menu. In one sense it's kinda raw that the game goes "okay, goodbye" and confidently exits itself when you've had enough, but also there were times where I accidentally hit no when I meant to hit yes and had to reboot the whole ass system. The credits even have a special thanks section of 4 people in it. I wonder what those people did to get themselves credited that way in this game... A true gaming mystery of all time.
It's a very nothing game but like what the hell do you expect from connect four. Can't say I can really recommend it in any capacity due to the hassle that is (and I assume even for its time, was) getting the ability to play CD-i games. If you really want to play Connect four, play the real ass board game, it's probably at your local goodwill if you don't have it. There are probably WEBSITES that offer more featured connect four than this in our current modern age. But on a personal sense I'm extremely glad I have a CD-i now so I can satiate that years-long curiosity I have had for games like this. I'm not even joking, I was more hyped to play this than I have been for ANY PS5 game. I hope to review more CD-i games (including those four titles, despite how beaten those dead horses are), but knowing my backlog things will prob be sporadic. I paid 300 dollars to play mfin connect four. Sometimes even I question my taste in games.
2006
I'm definitely not as chuzz-pilled as some people I know but this game is a solid time. At its core it's a simple match-3 slide game which isn't really my cup of tea for puzzle games, but the style and polish put into it def kept me playing. It sure is addicting at its core poppin those lil chuzzle dudes. Eventually the game will throw various different hindrances like locking certain spots on the board, throwing rainbow guys that don't match with other colors easily, or making big chuzzles that are hard to pop and hinder slide movement. It certainly can be stressful to play which is a really funny contrast to the colorful visuals and incredibly groovy OST. There's no bespoke ending or anything, you just chuzz on and on to get the highest score before death inevitably comes and puts you in its cold grasp. Such is chuzzle, such is life. The deluxe version includes 3 extra gamemodes. There's Speed chuzzle, which is the same as regular chuzzle except a timer slowly adds more and more locks to the screen and playing quickly extends the timer and delays your inevitable suffocation. There's Zen Chuzzle, which is an endless practice mode to lab out chuzzling to your hearts content. Lastly, there's a puzzle mode that I forgot the name of where you need to match patterns that is neat, but not really the same as the core chuzzle gameplay. There's also a lot of achievements to unlock as you go through the game, completionists will be playing this for centuries. Chuzzle is simple, yes, but in its simplicity is an incredibly addicting puzzle game. I'd play this over bejeweled any day.
i miss popcap
i miss popcap
1997
It's neat but rough around some edges game-design wise. It's an open exploratory platformer, more similar to a Westone title than the typical Metroidvania type of game you'd expect from that kind of genre. It's basically a much expanded take on the Monster Land series. The basic progression is composed of exploring the world to find various tasks and quests that need to be done, and figuring out where to go and how to do them. The levels have depth in them, allowing you to jump in and out of various layers of the foreground and background to explore, giving it a bit of a 2.5D feel (though it's certainly no klonoa visually). The controls feel really tight, the plot doesn't take itself very seriously, the visuals are that colorful pre-rendered silicon graphics ass vibe that we are sorely missing in this day and age, and the soundtrack is funny with its doofy MIDI samples.
Unfortunately there are some major gripes I did have with this game. The biggest problem of all is that despite the fact that this game goes for an explorative "search all the levels for the objectives and secrets" approach to its game structure, there is still a system of limited lives put into the game. Running out of lives just hucks you back to the title screen where you need to reload your last save like most games, but saving in this game also saves the amount of lives you currently have, so saving with a low life count puts you at significantly higher risk for losing progress if you mess up. Couple that with the fact that some areas in the game have bottomless pits that kill you instantly and a problem kinda arises. The conflict between the game structure that wants you to search every aspect of the map and the life system punishing potential leaps of faith/adventurous ideas makes the game feel at ends with itself. I did eventually find a workaround, as save points are quite frequent and saving/loading doesn't take that long. I basically saved my game at every save point like they are level checkpoints, and if i died, I loaded my save back up before the death jingle could finish playing so I didn't lose anything. An inelegant solution, but it worked. My only other problem would be that sometimes the game doesn't really give you a very solid sense of direction/where to go/what to do, but that's kinda the nature of these sorts of games. The map doesn't really help, and all the game really gives for direction is like one-sentence descriptions for each objective that usually don't say much. If you are a kid with endless free time playing this though, that's no issue, but if you are a busy person like me I'd def rec using a guide.
It's a super interesting game for sure and I understand its cult status among PS1 fans. I'd suggest giving it a shot if you like exploratory action games, but it's not one of my personal favorites.
Unfortunately there are some major gripes I did have with this game. The biggest problem of all is that despite the fact that this game goes for an explorative "search all the levels for the objectives and secrets" approach to its game structure, there is still a system of limited lives put into the game. Running out of lives just hucks you back to the title screen where you need to reload your last save like most games, but saving in this game also saves the amount of lives you currently have, so saving with a low life count puts you at significantly higher risk for losing progress if you mess up. Couple that with the fact that some areas in the game have bottomless pits that kill you instantly and a problem kinda arises. The conflict between the game structure that wants you to search every aspect of the map and the life system punishing potential leaps of faith/adventurous ideas makes the game feel at ends with itself. I did eventually find a workaround, as save points are quite frequent and saving/loading doesn't take that long. I basically saved my game at every save point like they are level checkpoints, and if i died, I loaded my save back up before the death jingle could finish playing so I didn't lose anything. An inelegant solution, but it worked. My only other problem would be that sometimes the game doesn't really give you a very solid sense of direction/where to go/what to do, but that's kinda the nature of these sorts of games. The map doesn't really help, and all the game really gives for direction is like one-sentence descriptions for each objective that usually don't say much. If you are a kid with endless free time playing this though, that's no issue, but if you are a busy person like me I'd def rec using a guide.
It's a super interesting game for sure and I understand its cult status among PS1 fans. I'd suggest giving it a shot if you like exploratory action games, but it's not one of my personal favorites.
DAW SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET
The vibes in this game go hard, I want to live in this 2003-ass city of perpetual nighttime. Everything is well lit and rendered, there's a copious amount of 6th-gen motion blur everywhere when you go fast, but things still manage to be (for the most part) readable. The OST is a bit hit-and-miss though, I like the dumpy menu music beats but the race music being more 2000s edgy emo type vibes was kinda unfitting to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big sucker for that stuff, and it also serves to solidify this game as an excellent time piece, but it seems more fitting for daytime racing than underground nighttime racing. I associate night vibes with like techno-y D'n'B-y adrenaline vibes and not hard guitars and edge I guess, but that's probably more of a me thing. Despite all that, the vibes this game has are my jam, love this kinda shit. I haven't seen any of the fast and furious movies, but I have heard that this games aesthetic is borrowed heavily from em so I might have to give em a watch.
On the game front though, this game is a bit hrmmm. 112 events to do is kinda exhausting, and the AI has that classic need for speed rubberbanding. It reminded me of playing NFS2, where you could run a perfect race and fuck up on the last turn and everything would be for naught. The weighty momentum-y feel of the cars plus the aggressive rubberbanding and decent amounts of traffic means the lategame is really frustrating, as fuckups are easy and will ruin your race many, MANY times. Nerfing your car and setting the difficulty to easy can mitigate a bit of the AI problems, but at the end of the day the events still end up feeling like a bit of RNG, where you just gotta keep retryin over and over again until the game feels generous enough to let you win. There are other non-racey events like drift point challenges which are fun and these weird drag race minigames that are less fun and are more just memorization of where traffic spawns to avoid.
It's a decent tonal shift of the NFS series while keeping the same style of gameplay, and I've heard Underground 2 is where the wheels really start turning so it's probably better to play that instead if you want your early 2000s night city racing fix.
The vibes in this game go hard, I want to live in this 2003-ass city of perpetual nighttime. Everything is well lit and rendered, there's a copious amount of 6th-gen motion blur everywhere when you go fast, but things still manage to be (for the most part) readable. The OST is a bit hit-and-miss though, I like the dumpy menu music beats but the race music being more 2000s edgy emo type vibes was kinda unfitting to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big sucker for that stuff, and it also serves to solidify this game as an excellent time piece, but it seems more fitting for daytime racing than underground nighttime racing. I associate night vibes with like techno-y D'n'B-y adrenaline vibes and not hard guitars and edge I guess, but that's probably more of a me thing. Despite all that, the vibes this game has are my jam, love this kinda shit. I haven't seen any of the fast and furious movies, but I have heard that this games aesthetic is borrowed heavily from em so I might have to give em a watch.
On the game front though, this game is a bit hrmmm. 112 events to do is kinda exhausting, and the AI has that classic need for speed rubberbanding. It reminded me of playing NFS2, where you could run a perfect race and fuck up on the last turn and everything would be for naught. The weighty momentum-y feel of the cars plus the aggressive rubberbanding and decent amounts of traffic means the lategame is really frustrating, as fuckups are easy and will ruin your race many, MANY times. Nerfing your car and setting the difficulty to easy can mitigate a bit of the AI problems, but at the end of the day the events still end up feeling like a bit of RNG, where you just gotta keep retryin over and over again until the game feels generous enough to let you win. There are other non-racey events like drift point challenges which are fun and these weird drag race minigames that are less fun and are more just memorization of where traffic spawns to avoid.
It's a decent tonal shift of the NFS series while keeping the same style of gameplay, and I've heard Underground 2 is where the wheels really start turning so it's probably better to play that instead if you want your early 2000s night city racing fix.