ooopha
2023
Picked this one up during the summer sale because the art style looked fun, and that art style is what kept me going for all 6-ish hours I spent with it. Lets get this out of the way: the combat is boring. Its a little exciting in the first area, but becomes tedious by the second. I understand its purpose in setting a tone in the game, but those last 2.5 bosses are horrible.
The FMV stuff was pretty charming, even if it got a little too "whimsical band kid" for my taste.
The FMV stuff was pretty charming, even if it got a little too "whimsical band kid" for my taste.
2021
Not as huge on this one as I was the other 2. The decision to do a lot of smaller weirder levels doesn't pay off as well as 2's direction of larger levels with more to do did. A few of the experiments pay off (Berlin in particular is genius) but some of them come off as slightly forgettable (Mendoza) or downright miserable (Chongqing). The increased verticality of the environments is great though and provides more opportunities to find creative solutions to the challenges presented.
I don't care for the added emphasis on story either. All I need for a Hitman plot is for you to tell me who the people I'm killing are and why I need to kill them. Agent 47 and Diana Burnwood are not characters that I care about.
I don't care for the added emphasis on story either. All I need for a Hitman plot is for you to tell me who the people I'm killing are and why I need to kill them. Agent 47 and Diana Burnwood are not characters that I care about.
2023
RoboCop: Rogue City is like a really good PS360-era game that you recommend a little too enthusiastically to people because you have to convince them it isn't garbage. I don't think this still has a demo up, but this is 100% a game that you need to play to understand; playing the demo on PC and completing the first level was what immediately sold me on this. Tromping through a television station while dismembering 80s movie punks with the RoboCop theme blaring, hearing that beautiful thunk thunk thunk while RoboCop stomps around, smashing a door off its hinges and putting 3 bullets in the heads of a bunch of punks in slow-motion...nobody is making mid-budget games like this anymore. As a 10-15 hour not-too-frilled shooter, this is a certified Good Ass Time.
The boss fights, however, suck. They don't come up very often and all but the final one have the good taste to be trivially easy, but they are miserable the entire time you have to spend unloading 10000 bullets into an ED-209.
The boss fights, however, suck. They don't come up very often and all but the final one have the good taste to be trivially easy, but they are miserable the entire time you have to spend unloading 10000 bullets into an ED-209.
1994
Real fun STG about flying a spaceship and blowing stuff up. I don't have any skill with these kinds of games, so even with the 8 continues cheat I couldn't even get to the final level. I don't feel like savescumming like I did with Gradius. I know that playing these games over and over again until you can get it right is part of the experience, but I don't have the patience for that right now.
I'm declaring 2024 The Year of The Saturn™. It's time to start chewing on these games.
I'm declaring 2024 The Year of The Saturn™. It's time to start chewing on these games.
1990
There's a certain randomness that comes with Pinball that I just can't jive with; sometimes you start a bonus stage and the ball flies out, ping-pongs between enemies, and then rockets down the center. I didn't make any mistakes or misplays, the game simply decided I didn't get to make any choices in the first place. It's the same problem I have with sports games: I simply do not enjoy when my success in a single player video game relies on factors outside of my own control.
That being said, Devil's Crush is fun. I wouldn't have put a couple hours into it otherwise. The graphics are excellent and the music is great. The single table available is very fun for what it offers, I just wish I didn't feel like I was being punished for nothing while playing it.
That being said, Devil's Crush is fun. I wouldn't have put a couple hours into it otherwise. The graphics are excellent and the music is great. The single table available is very fun for what it offers, I just wish I didn't feel like I was being punished for nothing while playing it.
2020
FF7R threads a needle: it's one of the only big Sony exclusive "CINEMATIC" games that really works. I'm not sure exactly why that is. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say the presentation is key, because FF7R looks heads and shoulders above it's contemporaries. (I think the Horizon games are similarly beautiful, but those games have such gray sludgy gameplay that I'll never really care for them.) If we're comparing games to films, then FF7R is a James Cameron blockbuster to God of War, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.'s prestige TV. They even made the combat fun, because Square Enix isn't embarrassed to make a video game. Really incredible stuff, but I'm not convinced they can do it a second time. Good luck, lads.
1989
The early levels are extremely hard, with a large number of difficult enemies and low ammo. These levels feel like survival horror, forcing you to keep an eye on your ammo levels and use weapons you might otherwise ignore. Later levels are Quake again, but without the little hopping blue guys. Dogshit final boss.
2022
Creating microgames that can be played multiple ways is a fun idea. Execution wise, some characters just stink. 9-Volt and Cricket are so bad they border on unplayable. The best characters (Ashley, Wario, Orbulon, Rob, etc.) all kind of play the same, which means you rarely engage with the game the way that I think the devs would want you to. The Warioware formula is fun enough that there is a bit of a quality floor, though.
2011
1987