Considering the bad reputation Altered Beast has, I don't mean to defend it from the hate it's got. Why make a personality out of dissing old games? This is a 1988 title, a port of an arcade game, I don't want to gatekeep you saying "you had to be there" to understand, but the full potential of playing basically an arcade game on your home console wasn't lost on anybody at the time. I wasn't there specifically, but I remember playing Tekken 3 on the PS1 as a kid and feeling the same sense of wonder about the future of videogames. Generation after generation we all have had the same expectations about the future.

Altered Beast is by no means a masterpiece but it's funny. It's hard and controls aren't intuitive (did you know you can kick up by crouching and kicking?), but bit by bit I reached the end of the game and saved the day. If you don't consider every restart, since every time you lose all lives you go back to the beginning, the game doesn't last long, but it gave me something: everytime the player would power up twice and he'd become this big mountain of a man, when hit he'd be laying down on the grass in a funny pose (see the sprite in the bottom). Like the Peter Griffin pose, that caught me off guard. If someone asked me if it's something worth to take out of a game, I'd say it is, I had a good amount of fun and once the gameplay loop hits, it becomes addicting in a way.

What bummed me were the bosses: the game's difficulty comes from enemy placement during the side scrolling sections, but then the bosses have each a pattern easy to avoid and to exploit. Add the single continue, after which it's game over, you can see why this game is reviled. Me? I find that falling animation funny and the transformations were goofy enough to keep me invested, but if it's worth something I cheered at the golden werewolf, "Just like Super Sonic!" I thought.

Conclusion: I would say Golden Axe is better, but why wouldn't it be? I can see where Team Shinobi and the porting team learned their lessons right here. I think it's worth checking out because it's funny and there shouldn't be any bias when playing games, since there are standards and I understand, but we should all be able to enjoy things nonetheless. I mean come on it's 15 minutes long at least give it a try!

Childhood is choosing the Amazon and beating the first level with two continues. Adulthood is picking the Dwarf and throwing minions into bottomless pits (without supervisors). A railguard wouldn't have hurt here and there, but I can excuse Golden Axe and its sandal-and-sword Conanesque environment for not following OSHA guidelines. Apparently you can't call yourself Death Adder if you let your minions have dental and sick days.

Golden Axe is short but rich in content and mechanics: picking a different hero fundamentally changes the way you play the game, with the tougher and more resilient axe wielding previously mentioned Dwarf, the more magically inclined (derogatory) Amazon and the Barbarian stuck, like Malcom, in the middle.

Kind of the devs putting a beginner course through this version! Too bad it's a completely different matter once you approach the 8 stages long arcade with a plethora of enemies, hazardous environment (as said before, not fun falling in a pit) and those small imps jumping around. It's an hard game, by design, meant to drain you of your coins: every time you'll be cornered by enemies you'll see half or more of your health drained and there's nothing you can do, enemies don't stand in line ready to be smacked but if you're not careful you'll be the one being thrown around. It can be frustrating, especially at the start, because the hit-stun you receive is egregious, but once you memorize patterns and strategically nuke the screens with magic, you'll see through the end of it. A tip: don't bother with the skeletons at the very end, they have more health than the boss itself. This game is not fair.

But, is it worth it? I think it is, especially considering what comes after takes a lot of inspiration from Golden Axe and Double Dragon, but if you want to play, say, Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara, I'd skip to that. It simply hasn't aged as gracefully as others, but if you're here for an history lesson there's no harm in it.

To say that The Lost Age is the swan song of Camelot would be misunderstanding the drive behind its storytelling and purpose. I believe in Golden Sun being the most charming, exquisite example of an handheld RPG duology and this review will NOT cover everything there is to say, because frankly I don't have the words to express just how much I adore this franchise and what it means to me.

Sakuraba's soundtrack is simply the cherry on top this beautiful cake, made out of incredibly well designed puzzles, clever battle system and class roles rigorously dictated by Djinn management. You want to unleash the Megiddo out of your party? You'll want to explore every crevice of Weyard, even more astonishing and jaw dropping in lore tidbits and ambience: the new temples are the best addition to the Lighthouses we know already from the first game, adding a little more context behind the world's religion and myths. It's a win-win scenario: battling is fun, you'll get stronger, you'll want to become stronger, you'll want to explore for Djinn and equip, you'll see more of the world and you'll battle even more enemies, a deceptively clever gameplay loop.

If you played other Camelot games you'll see some resemblances to events and characters from older games ... you'll also see how the storytelling and the plotlines converge to a world-ending finale, as usual, yet a bit limping along the way. Yes, The Lost Age does a lot to mitigate the padding and meandering of the original game, in part thanks to the urgency of the mission, the exquisite plot twists and the conflict between Golden Sun and The Lost Age heroes, being fundamentally enemies in purpose, but sometimes you'll just keep reading these exchanges between characters that go on and on, sure they are charming, but relevant? In hindsight, I'm not so sure anymore. Still it was funny playing through Shining Force II and seeing the same issues with characters talking a little bit too much. Also, weird how like in Shining Force III, The Lost Age makes us play from the other perspective, it's also got some weird purple guys with ulterior motives and Machiavelli like characters scheming and not explaining what they're doing.

Wait, have they been making Golden Sun since the 90s? I'll let you decide on that.

A bit too much prose is a small price to pay for what I'd wager it's the quintessential GBA JRPG experience and the culmination of Camelot's storytelling. Is it the end though? I don't think so. I'm sure, while developing some more Mario sports games, they are working on something else. I cannot imagine otherwise, for what I've played and what I've seen, Camelot's vision is great, purposeful and inspiring to say the least. Verbose as well, but at this point it's just the Camelot I love and respect.

First title in ZUNSoft repertoire, HRTP is a great experiment, revisiting the Arkanoid formula with some punch, two routes and different endings. It can be frustrating and not having complete control over the orb can lead to very long standoffs between the player, the orb spinning, the timer, the bullets and the single tile in the corner, but I think it's only a minor gripe.

What takes the cake for me is the great polish in soundtrack, spritework and backgrounds: The Eastern Country (Gensokyo we know and love wink wink) is pure eye candy.
Aside from some issues that I can forgive knowing the context behind a Comiket project, I think it's a pretty well done game, a testament of things to come, a toast to how polished and charming ZUN's games will be.

It's just not the same anymore. Technically speaking this game is a clear step up compared to the 10 years old sibling, yet cutting the umbilical cord did nothing but upset old and newer players. What really killed it for me is, no matter how many cards you had, all you got back are coupons and the completionist equivalent of seeing those members, even those released on a strict timeline or during single time events like the Persona 5 one, on a marble display unable to actually hold and play them. The sacking of Alexandria but for us idol heads.

You'll own nothing and you'll be happy; Bushiroad is still kicking this franchise in the ribs after all the success and pride of years prior. I understand keeping up a 2013 game live for so long had its expenses, also thanks to the trend settling down and SIF hemorrhaging players, trying to revitalize it through a new game was a gamble but all the good faith went nowhere and what was reaped now we sow.

If Legacy of Great Intention had its merits in its simplicity, Shining Force II does everything to top the original. It looks much more polished, sprites and battle animations are simply gorgeous, it has a better UI, it sounds incredibly well for Genesis standards and the world is much more expanded, with loads of secrets and a greater focus on exploration thanks to the world map being as wide as it is. There'll be mostly two big continents you'll explore and time and time again you'll be able to revisit villages and places, something the original couldn't in part because of its more linear approach to storytelling.

Alas, the game is wide and offers more content. If Shining Force I had a great chemistry between map design and encounters, Shining Force II offers 40 different scripted battles, of which you'll probably remember half. Off the top of my head, I remember the infamous Harpy Pool, the Kraken battle really sticks out for difficulty, but then comes the chessboard encounter, the temple fight or the glass panel battle right before the end. Everything else doesn't feel as memorable simply because they feel like random encounters; you'll walk through the map and then the screen will flash, just for a battle with demons to begin. Some battles do repeat themselves as well, going back to places in the overworld means that the half an hour encounters may just trigger again and again over stacks of woods and grass. Whenever that happened I would just sigh, save the game and let future me handle the fight with a fresher mind and perspective.

I would love to give more credit to this game, because it's got good looks and great performance, but it feels just less interesting than the original due to the flaws compounding what feels like half the game. The greatest flaw for me though might just be the script and the story: while the original was innocuous enough with its simple premise and conversation pieces, the sequel (which by the way doesn't connect to the original if not in passing dialogue) just. doesn't. stop. ever. talking. Characters expose, give you crap, directions and it's just a mindless amount of walking around a dispersing world, with random encounters by the way, and most just ... flies right over my head. It doesn't need to be this painful, generic as it is, even if it's just a fetch quest let it be so without over exposing and mindlessly filling the game with dialogue or characters that would seem important but then never appear again. Take the starting team, Sara, Chester and Jaha. For a good two hours the trio talks and helps the player immersing, but once the game kicks off for real they NEVER talk, again, like until the very end. Oh and what a peculiar thing the ending is. No spoilers, but let's just say that people love this game for the gameplay and not the riveting conclusion.

So what gives? I like Shining Force II a lot, it might just be Shining Force but better. I think the first game is more nuanced in some aspects and straightforward in others, offering a similar experience but half the struggle. It is a personal preference, so let it be known that I have no intention of dying on this hill. And who knows, maybe I'll change perspective once I'm done with the classic Camelot games. I have some games I want to play through like Shining the Holy Ark and Beyond the Beyond before playing the third installment of Shining Force. That's a long queue of games, but this approach is what is making me appreciate a lot more the Golden Sun series, and in retrospective this hobby of mine. I also am clinically obligated to play SRPGs.

Please don't look up the ending to this game. Even with context it's painful. Half the people in here haven't said a word since fifty hours prior. Thank you for reading and have a good night.

Despite balling being defined most profoundly by this tweet, expressing how hard one's life will be and how factually one must tackle this inevitability, Mario Hoops 3-on-3 is the one Mario title thus to inherit balling true and crystal clear endeavour.

So huh, a Mario sports game not developed in the gaol currently holding Camelot. Sporting (heh) a wonderful soundtrack composed by none other than Soken, able to impress with his role in a recent small indie project and a great presentation thanks to its vast roster, 3D models and animations. I rocked the Ninja Luigi Cactuar team because I had to ball like that.

Hoops 3-on-3 deceptively keeps its deep and quite complex gameplay in the tutorial sections and honestly it's a shame because there's a lot to learn thanks to using both the dpad and the touchscreen, but you won't need as much mastery of the game to clear its most difficult hurdles. It's hard to explain because it's very specific, but it feels almost as playing The World Ends With You. Made by Square? Ahhhh that explains it.

Aside from that, if you don't play with friends after unlocking each character, there's not much else to do. Complex movements can end up not registered and that is very frustrating, yet when everything clicks the game is fun and especially slam dunking feels rewarding and engaging.

In conclusion, a BBall game on the DS sounds weird but it works surprisingly well, has a lot of fun potential and a steep learning curve. Won't keep you occupied long but it's got charm. So, I'd say, Fuck it we ball, worth checking out.

You know shit hit the fan when you unlocked the poop emoji.

buzzing sound of LAUGH sign echoing through the theather, a single cough is heard in the audience

I had a modicum amount of fun? playing this travesty back in 2016 when a friend of mine was unironically pumping hundreds of hours on this game, just to stop right as I started playing. Huhhh checks notes you could be playing worse, I guess.

frantically reads through the script Is that it?

paper noise

The objective like many .io games is to get as many collectibles avoiding your bigger opponents whom may just eat you alive the second they touch the flashing orb. So this is like Pacman, but playing with other players? turns over the piece of paper Look there's only an hint to make a poop joke here, I don't even know if you're actually playing with other people. This game came out just as emoji were starting to trend, but did they? I mean, unironically? I remember people howling when the emoji movie came out and it got mocked to death, but sigh at this point this farce of a review doesn't really make any sense. So yeah, emoj.io. Cool name throws away notes that's it, alright cool, see you next time at petro_sino sham reviews, where I'm your host, always a click away from a serotonine hit. Ciao ciao.

mic drop

APPLAUSE sign flickers

Final Fantasy IV is probably the title in the franchise with the most amount of ports, remakes and expansions only if we don't consider the seventh installment, which at this point might be a franchise on its own. Why is that?

Final Fantasy IV might be considered the first proper Final Fantasy in story beats, characters and presentation. I won't give you an history lesson but this game was kind of a big deal and cemented FF's position in JRPGs: if the 1st to the 3rd were considered experiments, 4th is THE Final Fantasy we default to when thinking about the series, like Metal Slug or King of Fighters with SNK and Trails in the Sky with Falcom.

This port is accessible, holds a lot of minigames and cute side content the original didn't have but most importantly fixes a lot of issues with the game's balance, since the IV on DS is much harder than the original. I remember reading guides to beat some bosses and it was standard to begin every battle with Slow and Haste, otherwise you'd easily be beaten. Not only, but the most important parts in the story are animated and rendered beautifully, with honest to God gorgeous voice acting and animation. The game presents itself wonderfully and the maps are alive and greatly represent its world.

Sore note: the battles are slower and despite being rendered in 3D they don't impress as much as they should thanks to its slow framerate. I played it on the original hardware, I have no clue if the framerate gets better on mobile or PC, but the DS port didn't really color me surprised. I'd add the GBA port has much more content that is exclusive to that version and it's sadly missing here. Not only that, but the story being very linear means you'll have some characters during certain story sections you might not really want and no job system means you'll have your tools handed to you without any real choice. Also really? Getting a Lv.1 character at Lv. 25 does suck a bit.

So, which version should you play? Remastered, SNES original, DS port or PSP? I have no clue honestly, each has its pros and cons and playing each version to see the differences is not something I'd recommend to everyone. You really have to like the characters and the mood of Final Fantasy IV and it's not for everybody. This port? It's fine enough to get you through the story with some cool New Game + elements, but it doesn't have the most amount of content and if you really don't want to replay a game just for the additional content, I would avoid this port. If you get the PSP version you'll also get access to The After Years, but I don't know if that's a plus or not, so really pick your poison.

Wow I hated this. I mean I loved how petty this DLC was designed and I wish to never play something as diabolical and evil again. I never felt as moronic as playing Hell Loop, maybe topped only by Baba is you.

Some challenges require you to be pixel precise with your controls, some require heavy amounts of backtracking, others require heavy micromanaging, most require all three to beat; at a certain point I was asking myself if I really wanted to put myself through it. Recommended only if you love this game and you really want to be tested.

Regina ... my beloved ...

Dino Crisis is a game that came out sandwiched between the Resident Evils of the PS1 era and it made a lot of money thanks to its marketing and its seamless introduction to the game's enemies: Dinosaurs! The first encounter is clearly meant to scare every Resident Evil fan of the time because in Dino Crisis enemies don't open doors BUT they stalk and follow the player. Unless you put up laser barriers around the facility of Ibis Island, the main and only setting of the game, you're always going to have company whenever you want it or not. It does help adding to the tension that the enemies are real sponges of bullets and it's simply not cost effective to shoot at the beasts, but at the same time it adds to the frustration I feel for this game.

The first Resident Evil is cleverly designed in order to lead the player through the mansion, with interesting puzzles and it has a way with making some rooms you've already visited not safe anymore thanks to the introduction of new enemies, but eventually you'll learn the layout and effortlessly move from door to door. Dino Crisis instead really likes its puzzles, which are sometimes quite hard, and really likes its corridors. You'll move from section to section and you'll notice something different, but not always. You'll be stalked, hunted, you'll look for resources but there'll always be the feeling that you're running around the empty buildings most of the time.

Short as it is, for a single playthrough not being longer than 5 hours, it doesn't feel repetitive and I think it's worth checking out thanks to its interesting premise, good chemistry between characters, great voice acting and different endings. It is frustrating, but if you love Regina like we all do, you'll look over some issues.

I'm not the fondest about the first Spyro, not because I think it's worse than its successors but simply because it's not as polished and fine tuned as those. I think it's a common thread with all platformers and collectathlons from this era, but to undermine and undercut what this game meant and still means would be unfair and unjustly cold.

Spyro the Dragon works fluidly and it's got great depth, both in design thinking and controls. It's honestly baffling seeing Spyro so well animated, respond so quickly to jumping, shooting fire and flying around. It is a technical wonder and considering how the game implements all sections of gameplay is simply astonishing.

There are some things I dislike, but it's not about age, nor design. I think this game wants to be unfair and unjust to people, like me of course, who don't want to leave any gem behind and it forces you to be completely through in order to get to the 100% line. Let me tell you, Tree Tops awaits me every single time and I waver. That damned jump haunts my dreams, hours lost like the rain. I am already being punished every day for being like this, game, goddammit! Stop hounding me.

Still I would recommend playing it, either in the original form or in the Trilogy which, compared to the N. Sane Trilogy, does respect the PS1 physics and revamps a little the ambience, but honestly? It still looks phenomenal. 98' was a lifetime ago and the Reignited Trilogy only irons some wrinkles here and there. I'd say for convenience's sake just get the Trilogy.

Perfectly serviceable Sonic game, it does its job and it looks and sounds incredible. I love Blaze's design and the stages have a lot of set pieces, some are more memorable than others; the boss battles are alright, not the best in the series. Compared to Advance, Sonic Rush plays a bit faster, with a bigger screen and a stronger level design.

It's not able to keep that momentum as I would've loved, but playing as Blaze or Sonic makes sure there's plenty to run through and the music is the little cherry on top. Thank you Naganuma please don't look up his Twitter.