I'm gone after this review. Don't expect to hear from me tomorrow. Or the day after. Cya guys!

Do not act like I've not just seen Mario power slide into bed. Wish I could do that. Powerful statement for flat bitches. Anyways! Paper Mario is silly like that. They don't make them like that anymore... that's actually a [TRUE...] statement! Both the good... and the good. And the bad. Paper Mario 64 on da nintendo 64 ysee, well it's a product of its time. The backtracking all the way to China. Dog shit enjoyers being well fed with the fetching pilgrimage of Chapter 6. Very silly encounter system designed to make walking around a chore (Yeah screw that noise I am ran over and so I ran away) and btw the graphics are really ugly, trying to mask the console its on with an art direction actually made matters worse lol but with a touch of filter it is ok. The retro scene's strongest defenders are about to have my head for this. Mods! Kill this guy with love and lasers (the mods are the Star Spirits)

(°_°) <--- reddit nation after I actually kill this guy with hammers. Behind the deceptively simple combat system lies a simple combat system where you're not encouraged to use half your items and skills but jump man does do a mean jump doe. feel like mario rn! The window of activation for jumps is inconsistent on certain enemies. The one for defense is just designed as a gotcha moment I swear. A middle ground of "guh??" energy. What if I told you the power of friendship was the game's ace in the hole? It's like Kiryu changing fighting styles but it's Mario being a manwhore and changing partners on the fly. The balance is not quite there, but being able to feast on so many playstyles drives one cuckoo! Ah, to slap a hoe 6 times. To be a goomba and be granted the catharsis to finally jump on your opps. To be a tactical nuke for the low cost of 7 flowers (FP saver badge included) (what a bargain!).

NPCs will just say about anything. Some of them may have ADHD but I shouldn't be the one to diagnose. Regardless, compared to the oft too silent mainline Mario, it does be a mint breath of fresh air. No more Mr. Wahoo Guy. You will gaslight girlboss gatekeep the King of Koopas. I'm not a big fan of his himbo schtick here tbh but holy shit they gave the Mario gooners so much! It truly hits during the epilogue; lowkey a love letter to fans of niche Mario creaturas or somethin but they are super creative with unique designs of familiar enemies. Making it even weirder that recent entries got rid of it, wat da deuce! ! What beef does this little guy in an egg have with me ong he's been chasing me since the jurassic era 😭 Mario is world-famous but doesn't have no bodyguards?? Wait... I do! Mods! Kill this guy with love and lasers.

They gonna have Mario go in every nook and cranny of the world buuuuh everyone's so mean 2 me 💔 my gyatt is overworked and im tired of pretending it's not. Aside from coming across cultures and actually trying to preserve them to what they were (unlike british museums), exploring is also cool finding badges and stuff pretty cool! The level up is quirky as a fiddle but I didn't have to sink a lot into badges because... I'm gay... and badges are gay too, chances are you won't find enough badges to really splurge into the economy. It's not booming. Give me some FPs though you can never explode Bombette enough. Mr. President a second Bombette has hit the towers. Btw maybe we can agree the local spots are a delight to the eyes, but I've had to open a guide in Yoshi's Island chinese counterfeit because the camera angle made it hard to see I could take a path forward. I had to back and forth and a snoring baby Yoshi was snoring directly into my skull. Never cook again Intsys

"If you have bitches in your head, tell them tskpvfccskzizbzkqqdu" -A fucking idiot. Hello chat in today's video we are gonna harass neurodivergant babes. Senua from Unreal Engine 4, please come over. ... she's screaming at neon junk floating in the sky. This puzzle sucks. Oh my. Ok argumento uno de Hellblade: if you pick the God of Illusions as your first victim (premeditated homicide btw 15 years in prison 🤓) you're gonna experience the game's LOWEST. This game has a nuts allergy to text, which is why shoving the most peculiar attributes of the game to the first puzzles is uh oh! It's my first day of school why am I job hunting. I give up go ahead and desecrate my corpse. Draw funny drawings on my forehead, that is liiike my thing you know. Be the Bandicoot to my Ula Baga. Uwa Buga. Man what did that mask even say. Wat da point of the mask is

It's scary how much she sounds like "It's Scary How Much Heavy Sounds like Marble Zone Act 2 😨" 😨 they done fuck up my visual apparatus too I'm positively flabbergasted. Highway to Hell if it was a highway to Hel. I've noticed my mental health started deteriorating since the first second of gameplay. This is surely a reference to the fact I'm clinically insane. My deepest regards to Team Ninja for this portrayal of the eternally silly. The trippiness comes from time to time but always as a boost to gameplay and not a detriment. I really feel like I'm in her shoes, or crocs, she's not likely wearing shoes that most of us do. She may be ill-fitted for the entertainment industry but she may perform well as a fashion icon: a collection of styles to freeze your ass of in Winter. The midriff rizz is gonna go bonkers.

Mother I crave sustenance in blood. My child we're in Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice. Who do you think is being sacrificed? Cya in Hel. The combat has received its fair share of criticism, how it's not like the old days and waaah waah but she's exactly like the Legend of Zelda, if she dies she gets overwhelmed or something close to that. Now maybe they thought enemies appearing right behind you or attacking while they're still invisible as a result of recently spawning would garner a cult familiarity from their british audience, you gotta admit it's hardly fair. Premeditated homicide... goes both ways parries the little angel on my shoulders telling me to treat everybody with kindness. Attacking itself is mindless, so that's where being bullet-spongey does more good than bad in the long term. Big ass dog with titanium bones we have forgiven you. You won't be doing the same thing every encounter but it only gets clunky the first few times. With the permadeath thing they got goin on in mind... this is only right. Senua lives matter.

Senua got a loving partner. Ah! Immersion broken. She has traversed the trenches of Unreal Engine 4 for this man. What wouldn't you do for a white man that actually washes his butt? Standards raised woohooo. I speak for everyone when I say "bro shut the fuck up ur yapping into an early grave" yes I am. You want a final argument? I've said the puzzles enhances the narrative and the narrative doesn't hinder the puzzles, but have I told you the fog is coming? You're gonna see weird shit when it does. That sure was weird, huh. Sometimes, the shit you see has to be aligned to form a shape, and they're not making it very obvious some other times. Brother the pattern recognition gene has failed me hard. Skill issue? Skill issue. Still the game's fault. Gadzooks! See you pogchamps... not in hell sis we reaching the pearly gates in Hellblade, we're only asking for this one thing.

Hm yeah. How many times did they make Super Mario Kart? These racers have contracts with a death clause or sum? At least, the game is an upgrade from 64. Holy crivvens! It's another kind of mediocre, taking some mediocrities from both ancestors, at the same time being able to boast about not having a Vanilla Lake 2 or Yoshi Valley in its midst. How cool is that? My boy Luigi can drift tho but only if he don't use the drift button. If you catch my drift. What a dreadful concept... they're racing on a road made out of butter, cut them some slack will you? I don't know what we're beating if not allegations. In 1st game fashion, everything is flat as crepe around these parts. I can see the horizon in the distance. I can see my future as a goon media reviewer. So, yes... the courses are pretty cool! Huh??? Trust the process.

These NPCs are NOT cheating anymore, the gadzookery they employ is fine-tuned and approved by the company. At what cost? 2 luigillion dollars. Who asked for the coin mechanic to be brought back? Intsys has priorities I wish they did not have. All these racers could embody the "your uber driver has arrived" energy very well. In Super Circuit, we trust in good 'ol Vietnam tactics as they've worked so far. Say hello to familiar old items and not a shred of creativity in making new ones. Damn. Controlling better than its predecessors with cool gamemodes on the GBA is its only claim to fame? We raced our way into an early grave with this one. We not gettin them good like we used to anymore.

Their voices are like, crunched crunched. Kinda sounds like the rusted hinges of the gates of Hell opening everytime I pass a racer, don't it. Kinda hope it doesn't affect my "SkillPoints.cs"😊 oh, but what is that ranking thing? I don't think it deserved so many parameters... who's the fucking nerd at Intsys that applied their Fire Emblem rhetoric to the funny kart game? Bring out the Excel tables chat. I've also tested that new Quick Run mode; I mean, I did not have my fill, might as well test something new, but it's just racing on tracks like usual. Wait, "usual"? That's the VS mode from MK DS! They deadnamed the mode 😭 this shit was not it Nintendo, never cook again. Other modes are the usual fair although I cannot confirm since the Super Circuiters aint wanna fw me in Battle Mode. AITA?

Let's talk about the menu... or not. Just sayin it looks nice. It's not gay to compliment a fellow menu, ya hear! Most of the time my pookies we're gonna be racing anyways. In either Mario Circuit, Mario Circuit 1, Mario Circuit 2, Mario Circuit 3, Mario Circuit 4- hol on, yeah that's a lot of em! The new courses are, graphically, hittin the spot. They even nailed the lighting. We're just short of Ray-Tracing in our good old GBA. It's also easy to navigate, more than you'd think. Why? idk, Intsys magic. They changed between laps sometimes, well we got that feature in the first game tho ahah. Shy Guy Beach/Cheep-Cheep Island is also my favorite piece of music in the series. The only problem I've had with courses is some like Lakeside Park are kinda fucked up because you can go from rank 1 to rank 8 if you accidentally go over "walls" that were actually ramps. Pokémon players on suicide watch