I don't know how to review this game, and I don't think I can give it a rating. If I told you that slaughtering students gets repetitive, would you say it was a bad part of the game design or a good part of the game design?

I am not sure how to feel about this game. It was horrific following out the actions of the killers on that day. The entire game stings of sarcasm and black comedy, it was controversial when it was released and it still is controversial.

Was the part in hell necessary? Probably not right? I don't know.

I just don't know.

Let's talk about strategy guides. It's no secret some games have very obtuse elements about them. Often times, they're not meant to be used in a first playthrough at all and are the kind of thing one would find out from Nintendo Power ages later. One example would be the Hadouken and Shoryuken in the Mega Man X games. Then there are secrets like the Lightsaber in Ico which nobody would ever find without a strategy guide, but the player probably wants to get on their first playthrough even if they don't necessarily need it.

And then you have games that can feel completely overwhelming or even unplayable without a strategy guide. I cannot even begin to name all the point-and-clicks and JRPGs filled to the brim with labyrinthine structures, permanently missable content, bugs or intended conditions that cause the player's save file to essentially become bricked, sidequests so hidden it took decades to find them, etc etc etc.

Knytt manages to be all of this. Knytt is nearly a brilliant game. When I started playing Knytt, I picked up all but 3 items blind in under an hour. At first, I thought it was a very soothing experience with an incredible atmosphere. The ambient music is shockingly amazing, and perfectly compliments the dark yet colourful world.

Unfortunately, as I neared the end of the game, I started growing increasingly frustrated. Too many platforms were lined up in such a way the player was only 1 pixel out of reach to entering a new path. It became hard to distinguish background characters from actual enemies. And then the worst part happened; I accidentally jumped into an invisible tile in the middle of nowhere that turned out to be an important warp zone.

Within minutes, my opinion of the game lowered from perhaps a 9/10 to a 7/10 at best. I'm not even certain if the last few powerups can be found without all the other warp zones I discovered in a speedrunning video, because there are no guides online. There is no communication to the player they are near an invisible tile, and the game's world is so massive it takes about 5 minutes to run across it in a straightish line. I did find some codes for the game on GameFAQs but I don't think the game itself communicates them anywhere either https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/937276-knytt/cheats

So what are we left with? A passionate and unique game that is ultimately too messy and unnecessarily obtuse for its own good. What could have been an all time classic PC metroidvania is bogged down by adhering to the "we need to sell strategy guides" school of thought despite it being a freeware indie game.

If the game looks up your alley, my suggestion is to look for how ever many items you can naturally find in about an hour with the searchlight feature, and then watch this speedrun to find the rest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmg_maTOSrs

Also worth noting, it is a 2006 PC game. It ran without any significant issues on my Windows 11 rig, but I did have to use Joy2Key for controller support and the fullscreen was a bit fucked in that it forced everything to my second monitor. It's nothing too inconvenient given how short the game is however.

I'll admit first and foremost, I saw the leaks before release, I saw the trailers for this game, and I thought it looked like absolute dogshit! I was terrified to see where Fire Emblem was headed with this, and lord knows I wasn't anywhere close to interested in those avatar designs. I thought it looked like complete and utter ridiculousness, but... time went on, and it grew on me. As wheatie does, the game released and I saw a few clips of it floating around on different platforms. It looked ridiculous. Almost... intentionally so?

The story is terrible, yeah, of course, I think that's been made abundantly clear by everybody, but I can't help but smile at it still. Everything about Fire Emblem Engage is silly, from its writing, to its character designs, to just its whole damn premise, it's absurd! And yet, they seem to know that! So instead of desperately trying to claw its way into a dark and brooding story, it almost felt like they were more leaning into the absurdity of what they had. This isn't a game you're supposed to take seriously, and I fuckin' love it.

Looking past that, though, as a Fire Emblem in gameplay, it does a stellar job. I don't feel the need to go over what everyone else already has countless times before, general consensus seems to be shockingly positive regarding the map design and the gameplay, but I also really enjoyed some of the paralogues, getting to revisit maps from the older games and even getting to walk around them somewhat freely after the fight's over. That's something I'd also like to talk about, because good god this game is so fucking pretty! Maybe I'm just surprised after having played Three Houses for so long and staring at its boring and repetitive maps so many times, but even besides that, the hub worlds like the Somniel or the post-battle, fully modeled maps, I was absolutely astounded by just how beautiful Engage was to look at. Could very well be the prettiest game on the Switch, helped by its already vibrant and colorful/flashy design everywhere else.

Now combine those beautiful atmospheres with a just as beautiful soundtrack, pure bliss. I spent so much time in the Somniel just spacing out and wandering the area, listening to whichever song fit the time, and at this point I think it's going to stay with me for the next while. The serenity that comes with these tracks is something I find scarcely matched in other media. Shit, I'm listening to them even now, writing this review, thanks to this cool little compilation I found of all of 'em. That's not to say the other tracks aren't amazing as well. Being as obsessed with this series as I have been for the last eight years or so, it was more than exhilarating listening to the throwbacks they whipped up for all of the Emblem Trial paralogues, or the slow and gratifying buildup of Last Engage at the end, to be followed shortly after by a lovely vocal track for the credits roll, among god knows how many others.

Engage was a stunning, whimsical, and just overall fun experience, in every sense of the word. I regret being so doubtful of this game at first, and I especially regret taking 14 entire months to finish it (oops). It's, as I said, absurd and ridiculous the whole way through, and I've learned to appreciate that sort of thing so much more over the years. I can't call it my favorite Fire Emblem, Sacred Stones has that nostalgia (and GBA) bias over me, but this was still a marvelous love letter to one of my favorite franchises ever, even despite some of its more prominent shortcomings.

"camp" as the kids say

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom hooked me from the trailer, and I'm glad to say that fully playing the game pleased me more than I thought it would. I ended up falling in love with the gimmick of figuring out how to maneuver through a platformer with no jump button, and I feel really confident in saying how it ended up being some of my favorite controls for a 3D platformer I've played ever. I've said before that I'm not a huge platformer person, and I'm not, but something with Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom hits me just right. Maybe it's my hidden obsession with tiny toy cars, maybe it's the way the bright colors mixed with the polygon graphics and music, maybe it really is those tight controls - all I know is I'm not a platformer person and yet I 100%'ed this game over the past couple of days. I have never had a platformer completely cloud my thoughts in the way Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom has to the point that when I wasn't playing it, I was just thinking about playing it. It's perfect: in control, design, length, story, everything! I finished the entire goddamn thing and I'm still thinking about when I can play it again!

Absolutely a shining star for new releases in 2024. Can't wait to see what else Panik Arcade has up their sleeve, because they have gained a very loyal fan.

5/5

Harold Halibut is a very technically impressive (when its not bugging out or dropping frames) feat, which unfortunately puts its gorgeous claymation style and cinematography in service of an overwritten, overindulgent miserable slog which might have been refreshing were it a fifth of its length instead of the overbearing wank we got instead.

Wank is the operative word here, the game is spiritually similar to jerking off. It takes inspiration from various sources, wes anderson films chief among them, but from what few films I have seen of those, they were much more entertaining and well written. The sheer nothingness of the gameplay even for narrative focused adventure games and amount of dialogue that was 3 lines too long for what it needed to be really fits together when you learn about the game's 10 year development time. This is someone's baby, presumably a labour of love, but thats the thing, sometimes you need to detach yourself emotionally from your work and cut things when they don't actually add anything. The most damning thing of all, after all that, 8 goddamned hours (it felt twice that) I feel nothing. The game is nothing. I am nothing. We're all nothing. And I have 8 fewer hours now before I return to the nothingness of oblivion with little to show for it.