roc
2009
steins gate is ultimately a coming of age story told with a very nontraditional framing. a lot of the reviews here are extremely critical of okabe... justifiably. i assume they didn't finish the game. and that's fine. he spends the vast majority of it shouting off escapist nonsense in every effort to deflect personal responsibility and avoid vulnerability. the latter half of the game forces him to evolve, and you are witness to it. it's completely understandable if you bounce off before you reach that point, given that my time with the game ended up passing 40 hours - that is a long ass time to read and watch anything. VN fans, please do not reply saying this is short for a VN, I legitimately don't care.
anyway, okabe isn't a perfect person. that's kind of the point. and a lot of the most aggressive reviews here brush up with it and bounce off it without broadening their scope enough to understand what it is getting at.
this game is targeted at the kind of people who know what an x68000 is without googling. the kind of people who don't even need to use the in-game glossary because the language is so ingrained in their brain. this game is aimed at - or at the very least, depicting accurately - people who are guilty of shitposting in the earlier sense - /b/ tier shit. this game is showing you how someone in the trenches of the internet can grow and develop - and i am sure that resonated with a lot of people who were less than perfect in that period of their life. i certainly am glad i didn't use a tripcode during that era.
i'm not in love with the game's characters or it's writing or even it's plot in general. but i think a lot of the "the game features characters who do bad things therefore the game is bad" comments are some of the most reductive shit i've ever seen in my life.
game is fine. wish it had more music variety.
i do kind of hate the whole faris chapter though ngl
anyway, okabe isn't a perfect person. that's kind of the point. and a lot of the most aggressive reviews here brush up with it and bounce off it without broadening their scope enough to understand what it is getting at.
this game is targeted at the kind of people who know what an x68000 is without googling. the kind of people who don't even need to use the in-game glossary because the language is so ingrained in their brain. this game is aimed at - or at the very least, depicting accurately - people who are guilty of shitposting in the earlier sense - /b/ tier shit. this game is showing you how someone in the trenches of the internet can grow and develop - and i am sure that resonated with a lot of people who were less than perfect in that period of their life. i certainly am glad i didn't use a tripcode during that era.
i'm not in love with the game's characters or it's writing or even it's plot in general. but i think a lot of the "the game features characters who do bad things therefore the game is bad" comments are some of the most reductive shit i've ever seen in my life.
game is fine. wish it had more music variety.
i do kind of hate the whole faris chapter though ngl
1996
"leave the game on for 84 hours and then highlight the bear character and press specific buttons and you can play as the palm tree from the logo" is some real My Dad Works At Nintendo shit.... but its fuckin real baybeeeeeeee!!!
1999
as a long time salaried office worker, it's almost perverse how much catharsis i gained from lifting and moving crates. i imagine this is the same appeal as a dude ranch had to people 30 years my senior.
the scope of shenmue is unreasonable - it knows it, and i love it for it.
the scope of shenmue is unreasonable - it knows it, and i love it for it.
my second favorite after aa3 so far - keeping the narrative cohesion that the 3rd really nailed, but weirdly swinging the narrative back to phoenix at the end. i like the cast of apollo a lot, and the animation of klavier playing the air guitar is batshit. more of this, i hope! (i have no expectations)
1999
wakle skade is up there for best character name. it's engraved in bronze right next to bobson dugnutt
2003
only got groomed on this twice
1996
extravagent spritework, boppin ost, huge variety of single and multiplayer modes only serve to reinforce what i have finally accepted to be the truth:
i fuckin suck at bomberman
i fuckin suck at bomberman
1996
this by the numbers jrpg is "western" themed in the same way that lacroix is "lemon" flavored
2023
as a long time f-zero fan who can snake in gx with my eyes closed, i understand the frustration. i do. this is a big leap from what f-zero fans expect - but it's still fun, ya dingles.
f-zero 99 is a game of constant decision making - your health is your boost. is it worth trying to boost to the finish line with barely any energy left? what if you get hit and explode at the finish line? should you stall near the rear of the course, where you are more likely to get the yellow orbs that let you ascend to the faster, alternative track, despite the constant threat of being knocked out for not placing high enough? (this threat is more real during the cups, not the individual races, as the cutoff can be as harsh as top 20). even without the energy consumption to consider, when you near the front, boosting itself is a tough choice - you never know when the ai-controlled exploding cars may swerve in your direction.
it's certainly a jarring difference from the mainline fzero games, which are almost entirely pure execution. there's still some skill here - learning to corner effectively, learning the best time to pop your super (using it at the correct time will allow you to stay on the higher track longer, as it can't drop you back on the track if the higher track takes a shortcut and is not directly over it) - but it's a lot more about reacting to the constantly changing flow of the race.
as of review, i have played every track available and won multiple races, and i have a pretty good idea of the mechanics. it's quick, intense, and just an adrenaline rush. give it a go even if you are a grumpy gx speedrunner.
f-zero 99 is a game of constant decision making - your health is your boost. is it worth trying to boost to the finish line with barely any energy left? what if you get hit and explode at the finish line? should you stall near the rear of the course, where you are more likely to get the yellow orbs that let you ascend to the faster, alternative track, despite the constant threat of being knocked out for not placing high enough? (this threat is more real during the cups, not the individual races, as the cutoff can be as harsh as top 20). even without the energy consumption to consider, when you near the front, boosting itself is a tough choice - you never know when the ai-controlled exploding cars may swerve in your direction.
it's certainly a jarring difference from the mainline fzero games, which are almost entirely pure execution. there's still some skill here - learning to corner effectively, learning the best time to pop your super (using it at the correct time will allow you to stay on the higher track longer, as it can't drop you back on the track if the higher track takes a shortcut and is not directly over it) - but it's a lot more about reacting to the constantly changing flow of the race.
as of review, i have played every track available and won multiple races, and i have a pretty good idea of the mechanics. it's quick, intense, and just an adrenaline rush. give it a go even if you are a grumpy gx speedrunner.
1994
game has a section in the credits for boob jiggle physics consultants and it is, as far as i can tell, the only two women on the staff
1985
i briefly worked in an office that had contracted with the new york times. on the floor they occupied they had two full size paperboy cabs - i guess to tie in with the newpaper theming and to entertain the employees. paperboy is not a good perk to offer your employees
2006
fever dream. someone's oc in their custom gmod campaign. an example of what happens when devs build around exciting new technology and forget to make it coherent.
from the moment i watched the extremely cavia intro cinematic, i was hooked. bullet witch is surprisingly comfy despite its wonkiness, and i laughed out loud several times at the bizarro cadences of the actors who definitely had zero or no voice direction. is it mechanically rich? no. is it stupid as hell and headscratching? is the final boss (as a reminder this is a third person shooter) like literally 30 minutes long? yes. but like... in a fun way. promise
from the moment i watched the extremely cavia intro cinematic, i was hooked. bullet witch is surprisingly comfy despite its wonkiness, and i laughed out loud several times at the bizarro cadences of the actors who definitely had zero or no voice direction. is it mechanically rich? no. is it stupid as hell and headscratching? is the final boss (as a reminder this is a third person shooter) like literally 30 minutes long? yes. but like... in a fun way. promise
1985
riddle me this gamers: if its called hang-on why do i keep falling off
2001
if you put a mermaid statue in a tank it becomes a live mermaid and i just think its neat
i love taiko no tatsujin.
as a drummer, it's the easiest in to the world or rhythm games. it's simple, as drumming should be - two types of hits, top and bottom, not 8 fucking buttons or whatever the hell beatmania is asking you for. just hit things good at the right time. this score is not low because the core gameplay of taiko is any worse than any other game. it isn't. it's great.
the story mode, if you can even call it here, is abysmal. it feels machine translated and is largely incoherent. maybe it was incoherent in the original - it is completely dull and largely a waste of time, but more annoyingly isn't a linear mode you complete - you get dripfed segments from playing the game. it takes something like 20 hours to get all the songs from this mode, and it just feels like a chore mashing through the garbage.
this game introduces the idea of taiko as a live service, which is inherently evil even at the relatively low price point of $3. If this game was a standalone live service with no cost of entry, sure, fine. you can't sell a full price game and then gate 90% of the content behind a paywall.
well, maybe you can, but i'm old and i don't fucking like it. eat my ass. don don KA.
as a drummer, it's the easiest in to the world or rhythm games. it's simple, as drumming should be - two types of hits, top and bottom, not 8 fucking buttons or whatever the hell beatmania is asking you for. just hit things good at the right time. this score is not low because the core gameplay of taiko is any worse than any other game. it isn't. it's great.
the story mode, if you can even call it here, is abysmal. it feels machine translated and is largely incoherent. maybe it was incoherent in the original - it is completely dull and largely a waste of time, but more annoyingly isn't a linear mode you complete - you get dripfed segments from playing the game. it takes something like 20 hours to get all the songs from this mode, and it just feels like a chore mashing through the garbage.
this game introduces the idea of taiko as a live service, which is inherently evil even at the relatively low price point of $3. If this game was a standalone live service with no cost of entry, sure, fine. you can't sell a full price game and then gate 90% of the content behind a paywall.
well, maybe you can, but i'm old and i don't fucking like it. eat my ass. don don KA.