Atalian
75 reviews liked by Atalian
Ok class I'm going to need you guys to open your laptops to Schoology.
WE'RE STUCK ON A DIFFERENT PLANET A LOT MORE THAN WE CAN M- (Slams laptop closed)
Get the fuck out of my class.
That's why you've been late?
Yep.
Get out of my class.
Ok.
Get out of my class.
I understand.
Contact the principle to take your laptop and you will be in school detention for 3 weeks.
Get out of my class.
WE'RE STUCK ON A DIFFERENT PLANET A LOT MORE THAN WE CAN M- (Slams laptop closed)
Get the fuck out of my class.
That's why you've been late?
Yep.
Get out of my class.
Ok.
Get out of my class.
I understand.
Contact the principle to take your laptop and you will be in school detention for 3 weeks.
Get out of my class.
How Final Fantasy XIII's exploration should have looked like tbh.
Ico
2001
Who changed the box art to this abomination.
The worst graphics in any game I’ve ever seen. Actually gave me migraines with the excessive lighting, flat textures. I try not to be shallow but this bordered into unplayable. It’s a shame because I really dig the character designer's other projects.
Bahamut Lagoon
1996
En la superficie es un RPG táctico, pero si escarbas un poco es la historia de un cuck
Rule of Rose
2006
Interesting story, dogshit gameplay (seriously, this is unplayable)
Rule of Rose
2006
Silent Hill da Shopee
Ristar
1995
Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Ristar: "A star is merely a spheroid mass of plasma and burning gases held together by its own gravity. First of all, by its very definition a star's position is fixed in the universe and therefore it would be impossible for one to "travel" anywhere, let alone via spectacular gymnastic skills. And second, they burn at astronomical levels, billions of BTUs of heat and massive radiation. Were a star to come to your planet to save it from an alien invasion, never mind if that planet is underwater, fire, or ice-themed, it would reduce that planet into just-barely molecular dust before even getting a chance to pole-vault into a baddie of the moment."
I’m never killing a slime in a mainline DQ game ever again. How would I know for sure that it isn’t Rocket? HOW WOULD I KNOW
Me when another Assassins Creed/Diablo/Kingdom Hearts/Mega Man/Shin Megami Tensei/etc comes out:
Jesus, are they EVER going to wrap this shit up? What does it say about this game series when despite the very best efforts of its heroes the same villains return over and over again? Are they even interested in the rectification of evil, or is the storytelling merely an excuse to provide a never-ending outlet of bloodlust for the player itself against a familiar recurring enemy? The world of the game will never know peace, nothing will be made whole, nothing will be resolved, for indeed, how else can the developers promise new levels, new monsters, over 100 hours of thrilling new content?
Also me: Wahoo! It’s another goddam Mario game! Time to head back to the Mushroom Kingdom and see what wild hijinx those plucky Brooklynite plumbers Mario and Luigi are up to now. Uh oh! Looks like Boswer, the evil King of the Koopas, is rearing his ugly head again, no doubt with some dastardly scheme in tow to conquer the magical land of the Toads and kidnap its longtime ruler Princess Peach. When will that overstuffed snapping turtle ever learn? But not to worry, with those pasta-loving Mario brothers to the rescue, there’s nothing a little goomba-stomping, shell-kicking, super mushrooming, flower-fireball throwing, and of course, a little star power can’t fix! Wahaaa! Lets’a fuckin go!
Jesus, are they EVER going to wrap this shit up? What does it say about this game series when despite the very best efforts of its heroes the same villains return over and over again? Are they even interested in the rectification of evil, or is the storytelling merely an excuse to provide a never-ending outlet of bloodlust for the player itself against a familiar recurring enemy? The world of the game will never know peace, nothing will be made whole, nothing will be resolved, for indeed, how else can the developers promise new levels, new monsters, over 100 hours of thrilling new content?
Also me: Wahoo! It’s another goddam Mario game! Time to head back to the Mushroom Kingdom and see what wild hijinx those plucky Brooklynite plumbers Mario and Luigi are up to now. Uh oh! Looks like Boswer, the evil King of the Koopas, is rearing his ugly head again, no doubt with some dastardly scheme in tow to conquer the magical land of the Toads and kidnap its longtime ruler Princess Peach. When will that overstuffed snapping turtle ever learn? But not to worry, with those pasta-loving Mario brothers to the rescue, there’s nothing a little goomba-stomping, shell-kicking, super mushrooming, flower-fireball throwing, and of course, a little star power can’t fix! Wahaaa! Lets’a fuckin go!