Probably the best arena fighter I have ever played. There was only one part I did not enjoy where you had to fight blank item spammer enemies who were impossible to hitstun, but aside from that they really fixed every issue I had with the first game, with the titular power stone mechanic being a lot more spaced out, lot less OP, generally just doesn't make fights cyclical anymore, I liked that part. The levels are all super unique with some special fun objectives, weirdly arcade mode only has one round per fight opposed to best of three but all in all this really is just a super cool super fun sequel to an already great game.

Better than any 3D Mario game before or after it?

No, not even close.

Wii U-to-literally-right-now-era baby game design?

Yes

A genuine fun game that you can sit and chill with that’s unique enough to exist as a pre-Switch handheld game with secrets that at least appease what I would expect to find in a Mario game?

Yes

Summary: New Super Mario Bros. but what if Nintendo made a sequel that did not make me want to sell it within the first week of me acquiring it

This game is great
I really enjoyed the combat system and the balancing they finally figured out how to make gun guys threatening but not stupid in this game Kiryu's core moves also just feel great in this one the bosses in my opinion though are lacking
The story as always in these games is nothing mind-blowing but very solidly wrote and simple and pushes the game forward in a natural way I really enjoyed the closer focus on Kiryu's relationships
Didn't fully do everything I wanted so I'm definitely coming back for more on hard mode see you in 2034

Well, it was a tough road. Ok I'm lying calling this tough would be an insult, this may quite possibly be the most merciless, relentless, soul-crushing and dare I say lobotomizing experience I have ever undergone in gaming and I despise it with every fiber of my being. No game has ever brought out such unfathomable rage in me as this game has, this game is genuinely out to kill you and drag you down to your lowest possible state.

But even then, despite it all, despite everything I've said above and will say in the future, I still love this game. The writing, characters, thematic messages and implications, all of it, everything and fuck it even the gameplay. If you the reader can persevere from everything this game throws at you as part of its masterfully crafted ludonarrative, one day you'll see the light. Quite possibly the greatest ludonarrative ever conceived

This game won't just tell you that life is worth is living, it'll go beyond and ask you to kill yourself just to test how hard you WANT to live. Unironic 10/10 masterpiece, I would wish this game upon my worst enemy.

throughout the entirety of my drakengard 3 playthrough all i could think about was what this game was trying to say. the story just felt like it was constantly building towards
something… it felt like there would be a moment where everything clicked together at once and i could understand the genius of yoko taro. I was confused nearly at every turn. surely these constant, tasteless sex jokes had some sort of meaning? in a metanarrative sense, at the very least? did they fucking test this game on hardware? why does it run so fucking terribly? there is nothing going on to warrant the dips to 2fps. i was just waiting for all of these questions to be finally answered. the more and more i played, the more i thought that this moment would never come. drakengard 3 might just not click with me. it’s great for people who love it, but for me? i don’t know… i didn’t see my opinions changing after playing the last two verses the game had to offer me.

as soon as i started up the final song i knew that it would be the death of me. first an hour passed. then another. and another. then, suddenly, clarity:

ba-dump, ba-dump

the shallow beats of my heart echoed around the room. for the first time in what felt like years, i looked way from the TV screen. I felt an entire lifetime flash before my eyes. i saw a future where i was happy… and then i snapped back to reality. what… what am i doing with my life?

it was in that moment that i finally understood drakengard 3. all i could do was laugh. i get it now… through my hysterical laughter i saw the truth of drakengard 3. why do we play video games? i’ve been doing this for 3 hours? my life is worthless! i should really get my drivers license… i really need to get a job… yoko taro knew these things. the most important thing for a game is the kind of impact that it leaves on the player. the constant sex jokes, the shitty frame rate… and of course, The Final Song. it was all to make ME (the gamer) feel bad about myself for putting up with this terrible bullshit. drakengard 3s thesis is to tell you to fill out a job application and get your drivers license. it’s to make you touch some fucking grass. yes… drakengard 3 is… bad on purpose.

thank you yoko taro. i would’ve never been able to come to this realization without your incredibly gargantuan intellect.