Absolute fever dream of a game. I created a busty, maroon-skinned abomination of indeterminable gender who Naruto ran everywhere, bounced side to side on the spot whenever left idle as if they had some kind of severe hyperactive disorder, and sported a flattop haircut literally colored with one the wallpaper patterns. Shockingly my custom avatar still wasn’t the strangest thing in this world where nearly every inhabitant is gay and you can hilariously ragdoll animals' limp bodies at any time by spinning them around your head like pizza dough. Everything from the modern era Cartoon Network visual aesthetic to the fact that you shrink down to the size of an insect and launch yourself around the kitchen on wooden spoons (because apparently that's easier than just walking to the fridge at normal height) to cook gives the impression that a bunch of members of the LGBT community got together, dropped acid, and made an itch.io meme parody of Animal Crossing.

Once you get past all the weirdness of the magical mushroom forests and potions that turn you into humanoid cats though, you really are simply doing fairly typical life simulator tasks of performing favors for the locals to improve your relationships while trying to open up new areas of the island and manage a cafe. It's a genuinely charming and fun experience, even if the constant backtracking to and fro between NPCs in different sections of the map can get a bit annoying. There are plenty of optional smaller distractions for you to engage in as well, such as finding every critter or completing all the baking minigames to fully flesh out your menu of delectable goodies for customers to enjoy. The amount of queer representation will also be a delight for many. You interact with at least two openly lesbian couples, a plethora of small details on clothing or in dialogue hint at a wider array of diverse sexual orientations for the cast, and special care is given so that you can know every character's pronouns if you want to (yes, there is a they/them).

Unfortunately, Calico does have one pretty serious shortcoming, and that's how unlike the Stardew Valleys and Sims of the genre there is a clear ending point here. What's worse is that it won't take you long to reach it either. After a handful of hours, you'll have legitimately burned through all there is to do and have no reason to come back, possibly ever. Heck, even your business technically runs itself as once you create a tasty treat for the first time, subsequent batches magically and automatically produced themselves freeing you up to explore other activities. Whether the title's relatively brief lifespan is a dealbreaker or not will come down to individual preference. Personally, I think the uniquely gonzo style and endearingly quirky mechanics make it worth recommending if you're looking for something different in spite of the $12 price tag.

7.8/10

I hate to say it but I think I kind of missed the window for when this game would have meant something to me. It was certainly not for lack of trying. I wanted to love this but for my personal tastes, the game is overall far too short and the difficulty of the last level just seems like a bandage to attempt and patch this issue up. I don't find much enjoyment in having to trepidatiously slog through upwards of 9 minutes just to have another shot at fighting the last boss again. If I have bad or cringe taste for not liking this one, whatever. So be it.

On today’s edition of 'Guy Playing Old Games And Getting Shocked at How Playable They Still Are': System Shock 2.

Not quite System Shock 1 and not quite Deus Ex, this one sits in a bit of an awkward position. The game puts a lot more emphasis on the RPG elements and character building, but it doesn’t quite have the type of openness and variety in the level design to facilitate some of the playstyles and make associated builds viable or satisfying to play with. Personally, I half-intuited and half-lucked into what seemed like a pretty optimal one, but still couldn’t shake the feeling that a lot of the tools just aren’t all that useful (repair, modify, exotics, research, you get the gist). Even the ones that are don’t feel as impactful as in, say, Deus Ex. What further adds to this issue is that the same RPG elements also serve to narrow down the player’s options compared to what’s available to every character in System Shock 1, potentially making some situations pretty annoying to deal with.

Despite the shortcomings, System Shock 2 is still a joy to play through. That is mostly due to the masterfully built atmosphere aboard the Von Braun. The environments are dense and immersive, the enemies are spooky, the sounds are unsettling, and the audio logs are plentiful. While the rewards for exploration themselves aren’t always that exciting, you will still want to see as much of the ship as you can so you don’t miss a piece of a random side character’s story or a tape of some janitor being actively eaten by aliens at the time of recording. Even though the level design in SS2 isn’t quite as ingenious as in its predecessor or successor, it’s very impressive how much sense the layouts themselves make, and how skulking around the ship doesn’t get boring until (arguably) the last couple of levels.
As mentioned before, the game feel is also surprisingly good - arguably even better than Deus Ex since your character generally shoots wherever the reticule is without having to wait 5-10 working days for it to stabilize first. This means that the game is surprisingly easy to pick up and play even in 2024. The movement has a bit of physicality to it, similar to Thief - just enough to give the character some weight but not to the point where you get stuck on every corner and object. I definitely wish there were some more mobility options or choices to be made in that department aside from just leveling agility or snorting a speed booster, but what is there works.
The transition to a proper RPG with stats and builds and a variety of different playstyles, no matter how conflicted I may personally be on the idea, also brings an undeniably higher level of replayability. Playthroughs have the potential to be drastically different from one another in terms of equipment used and, to a degree, approaches to encounters. There’s a pretty solid assortment of weapons (which you are likely only going to be able to use a fraction of until the last hours of the game) and spells to use as well.

All that said, returning to the opening point, I still preferred the first game to the sequel. There are a number of reasons for that, so here’s a lightning round of idle complaints for a 25-year-old game - a few ways in which I think SS1 overshadows the sequel:
*) At the moment, I’ve only played the SS1 remake. But from what I’ve heard, it’s very similar to the original in most ways that matter, so I’ll be basing my judgement on that. Am I a hack fraud? Sure. Not like there's much else to compare it to either way though, and I'll be sure to revisit once I play the OG SS1, which is likely to happen at some point.
1) Keeping tools available and relevant, and making you learn and pick the right one for the task at hand. In SS1, you are pretty much guaranteed to have access to both energy and ballistic weapons, as well as an assortment of grenades. You are free to choose how to use them to approach any sort of enemy you encounter. Meanwhile, System Shock 2 requires that you invest in those skills before they are even usable, let alone useful.
2) Level and overall game progression - where the first game really forced you to pay attention to your surroundings and the things you were doing in both the local and global context, this one feels a lot more like a straightforward string of quests, following directions from the powers that be. In a more local, level-restricted context, rarely, if ever, does System Shock 2 present you with a problem like “how do I get there” - through a locked door, over a wide gap, etc. There are just fewer roadblocks to try and find your way around.
3) Implants and powers - implants can still be great, but you are limited to 1-2 at a time, and to change the effect you need to swap it out in the inventory. It adds a whole lot of unnecessary fiddling, like swapping over to the organ to eat some worms and swapping back. Implants are a lot more boring/less game-altering in general with nothing that would really impact your mobility options or playstyle.
4) Shodan’s involvement - her introduction in 2 is fantastic, but for how prominent she is in all the marketing materials, her role is really quite small, reduced from a proper rich antagonist to a mere voice hissing at you from the comm link every now and then. This also leads to fewer interesting situations arising directly around the player since Xerxes, the new AI antagonist, is a lot less reactive and aware of your actions.

Finishing thoughts: absolutely no regrets over playing it. Grabs your attention and holds it through both the gameplay systems and the plot; shooting is fun, sneaking around and exploring is great (for the most part), easy recommend even for those who don't generally vibe with the survival horror genre (like myself). Don't go in expecting Prey levels of interactivity/variability and you'll be in for a wonderful time.

[Game Director]
- Mounir Radi

[Senior Game Designer]
- Rèmi Boutin

[Combat Designer]
- Lucas Sachez
- Paul Bordeau
- Red Cochennec

[Level Designer]
- Bertrand Israel
- Yannick Patet
- Gregory Palvadeu
- Erwan Cochon
- Alvin Chambost
- Tom Guiraud
- Alberto Portero Ariza

Praise their names instead of Ubisoft.