350 Reviews liked by Bottle


well i'm finally free. i've had enough brain worms from this game so i'm not going to scrap together anything cohesive. will just leave scattered thoughts.

- somewhat approaches passable if just mainlined through the game but i and i assume a lot of other series fans who have enjoyed going for gems in the past know that leaves a bit of an empty experience.

- the visuals across the board are well done even if things sometimes get very busy on screen making it hard to read what's happening. as with literally every other Crash game, depth perception is difficult even with the drop shadow.

- excess is a problem for a large amount of contemporary games but i didn't expect it to show up here or even if it did for it to be so fucking bad. you've got three gems for getting X amount of wumpa fruit, one for all the crates, a hidden gem, and one for less than three deaths. this isn't even getting into the perfect relics which make things like the less than 3 deaths gem redundant. all i could find myself asking is just "why?". it feels like those stupid meme images people make mocking the busy UI in games but spread across everything down to its core.

- the levels in this game are too fucking LONG. 90% of them could've been broken in half or in egregious cases thirds and nothing would've been lost. i mean they were so clearly concerned with having Content™ that could've been a way to boast a larger level count.

- tying into the above, the long levels make everything in the game whether it's time trials, getting all the crates with most of the wumpa fruit, or all of the crates while not dying for a perfect relic a miserable slog. nothing like getting to the end of a 5+ minute level only to find out you missed a crate in the most diabolical of locations that you probably won't find without looking it up.

- the extra character gameplay types range from mediocre to dumpster fire tier. Tawna gets the best of it whereas Dingodile has finicky vacuum mechanics and Cortex gets shit laser gun aiming (which will end up getting stuck on invisible level geometry all the time) with the worst movement in the game.

- for something that felt like it was making a statement with the title of Crash 4, it's like they learned literally nothing from Wrath of Cortex or the other poorly received sequels. so much of the complaints that could be brought up for the conventional platforming ones apply here, sometimes even worse.

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i want to come back to this many years down the line with some time away and less baggage. hopefully when viewing it as just something to get through (even though i still stand by that not being the ideal way to play a Crash game and it sure as hell doesn't absolve any of the shit i said) i might be able to enjoy it a bit more.

The most minor of upgrades from the first Game Boy TURTLES game, in that it now mixes in some actual belt-scrolling areas in between the LCD-handheld-on-steroids stuff from before. Mostly the game is just harder, which was, uh, not the way to go. The biggest upgrade is the backgrounds, which look fantastic, but this weirdly seems to have come at the cost of the character art/animation, which looks goofy and off-model. (The turtles' walk and attack cycles are really funny, check 'em out. And what the EFF is going on with Bebop???)

It is striking me while playing through all of these that by FAR the most ambitious game is gonna be that nightmarish first NES one, huh. That's kind of rough. Why couldn't they have done something like that again on Gameboy? Holding out a fool's hope for something more special with the third one.

Version: TMNT the Cowabunga Collection

It's worse than the first game in almost every way. I'm a real gamer of course 😎, but couldn't beat it without using the new features sadly.

My thoughts:
(+ = (mostly) positive; - = (mostly) negative)
- Gameplay;
Bad, there were multiple cases where you just couldn't continue without getting hurt. All characters played the same and when the game forgets to offer you pizza after a hard part.

- Music;
Nothing to mention.

- Graphics;
Worse than the first game...

- Story/Characters;
Nothing to mention.

Recommend?
Only if you have to collection.

This is a tough one to review because on one hand they made some great improvements over the first GB game. On the other hand they added an extremely unnecessary difficulty spike. Enemies are almost unlimited spawning in some cases and with the bosses, the hit window is minuscule. I really enjoy the first one for what it was and ya they just went too far in trying to make it harder. These stars are for all the good things it did though

Game isn't bad however the decision to cut the frame rate to 30fps (and below) was a bad one.

I had an absolute blast with this game! The art is really cute; I love these little handheld sprites. Everything reads very cleanly.

The main sort of mechanic is that our gal has all sorts of Mega Man esque powers (fire, sonic waves, energy, ice, etc), but also a floating ability and a heal!

I played using Save States to get through after smashing my head against the wall on the difficulty (there's a LOT of unavoidable or cheap damage here), but if you're playing it "honest", a pro tip is that the healing ability grants a very generous invincibility shield. I'm sure you could just abuse that to your heart's content.

The joy here is just in playing as this cute sprite bopping around and shooting stuff! It's a load of fun.

A couple other quick tips:

- Down + jump button opens your little menu
- When you get to the big brain area, you have to hit it once with each weapon, cycling through them. I think it was three total cycles of each weapon. It'll flash white to mean you've hit it, then switch to the next weapon.

A solid iteration on the first NES Turtles beat 'em up. I was kind of dreading another one of these as I got into it, but it won me over after a little while. Unfortunately, it is way too long, so my overall impression leveled out some by the end. I think these games are still fairly impressive for NES. An especially nice, clean look on this one.

This was cute! It didn't make a nuisance of itself and it kept my attention in a sort of mindless way! The dragons are cute and the enemy bosses look really cool. I went in with more or less no expectations and was surprised at how nice it was for a Game Gear game!

I will say, there's no ending. Literally just a congratulations screen and then back to the beginning--just bonkers stuff hahaha

According to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario and Donkey Kong were conceptualized only after Nintendo failed to secure the Popeye license for the game that would eventually become Donkey Kong. (The company apparently met with better success just a few months later.) Miyamoto's fondness for the brand is clearly evident in Popeye, an excellent game that sadly has fallen out of the public consciousness in recent years.

While from screenshots you might naturally assume that Popeye is just another Donkey Kong ripoff, it's actually a "falling objects" game that not only features DK-like stage design; it also looks, sounds, and arguably plays better than its more famous cousin. The title character here provides essentially an inversion of Mario's skill set -- Popeye can punch, but he can't jump -- and it's amazing how much that one variation, combined with great level design, can result in such a different game.

Popeye's relative absence from discussions of Nintendo's formative years is especially remarkable given the company's confidence in the game at the time. As one of three launch titles for the Famicom (alongside Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr.), Popeye was effectively a brand ambassador for the very concept of home gaming. Even today, I would play the heck out of this on Switch -- and I bet a lot of other people would, too -- if Nintendo were to iron out the licensing issues and make it available for the first time in almost 40 years.

It's cute. Charming cast of characters and fun-looking arcade-themed stages. Too difficult for me since I suck at shmups which didn't impede my progress since there are infinite continues but it made for a pretty unsatisfying experience. Not nearly enough content for the price. The classic games overview doesn't let you play the games, but it at least has some cute funny commentary where they dunk on old game posters and stuff. Music was fun and poppy too.

TL;DR - Just go play 4 unless you're playing this on an actual 3DS or want a quick game to beat.

This game was the definition of mediocre but was only 6 hours long, so I feel like a shorthand review is more fitting than the longer ones like I tend to enjoy doing. I played the HD version on PC instead of the 3DS version, but I feel like the criticisms still apply since apparently not much changed. Resident Evil Revelations was probably great for the time back in 2012 when RE6 just came out. Rev is at least a semi-horror game compared to 6, but in 2022 this game feels like everything I didn't like about 6 cramped down into a 3DS-sized package. I didn't have super-high expectations for this game and it still kinda left a disappointing taste behind.

Weird, spongey, and/or annoying standard enemy design with low and uninspired variety, an unnecessarily twist-filled and mind-boggling (in a bad way) plot that makes RE5's plot look good, oddly first draft feeling dialogue even for Jill and Chris, awkward controls that feel like a bad attempt at RE4's control scheme, a spotty dodge mechanic that works half the time, a ridiculous amount of 2012 overzealous horny that it's very obvious someone at Capcom had their dick in their hand designing the characters, and a pattern of quoting Dante's Inferno because... apparently the boat is hell or some shit like that, I don't know, I think the writers thought they were gonna get points just because they quoted Dante.

There are a few good things to say about this game. Like, the guns sounding and acting visceral despite the bullet-spongey enemies not reflecting that. The cruise ship setting being an incredibly good and interesting choice with it's pretty decent atmosphere. The swimming sections were oddly soothing except for 1 near the end. There's a few entertaining characters (not the two stooges or Jessica) and 1/2 of the boss fights are actually pretty fun.

But even with all that... just go play RE4. Or 7. Or 8, 2R, 3R, REmake, literally just any other game in the series unless you want the novelty of playing this on an actual 3DS, doing raid mode, or need a game that's quick to beat. You're not missing much since the story of this game has 0 impact and those games are much more satisfying to play.

It is very early Game Boy so you can't be TOO too hard on it, but this is an extremely simple and unambitious little game. Imagine a quarter-speed, single-plane version of the 1989 arcade game. You inch a few steps to the right, enemies pop out on either side, you kill them with one hit from your one attack, and then repeat. Occasionally there is some light jumping. The final level introduces an enemy that takes two hits. There are very simple bosses.

The priority here was obviously the art - put big bold sprites of the characters kids love on the screen. But at this stage in Konami's GB work, that limited them significantly in what they could make from a gameplay standpoint, and the result is a couple steps above a Game & Watch game, or one of those Tiger handhelds. It's inoffensive and very easy, but there is truly not much of anything going on here.

I was of the age to have played this when it came out, but knowing my tastes with regards to Game Boy games, I am certain that I would have been bored by this.

This was a 4/5 game when it came out in 2010, but this "remaster" is little more than a lazy re-release of an old game with no attempt at cleaning it up.

As a big fan of the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels, I loved this game back in 2010. I maxed every character, got all the achievements, and saw all the endings. My wife (then girlfriend) and I put a lot of time into the game and I have nothing but fond memories. So when Ubisoft announced a remaster, I was stoked. Unfortunately, they did the bare minimum just to get the old game to run on new consoles and called it a day.

After playing other modern beat 'em ups I've enjoyed like TMNT Shredder's Revenge and River City Girls, Scott Pilgrim hasn't aged quite as well as I remembered. Enemies have seemingly endless block with no way to break it and they'll often fly from off screen and stun lock you with no warning. Even on "easy" difficulty, it's an exercise in frustration especially if you're playing alone. Playing solo means no one to revive you when you go down, so you've only got 3 lives to get through a level - and you'll have to start from the beginning if you fail. Why are we still using this old "lives" systems when we're not playing it on a machine built to eat quarters?

Aged gameplay aside, the game's online multiplayer is busted. If you manage to get through the game's cumbersome party creation and can get a group together without error codes, you get to enjoy latency issues, random hitching, and progress-blocking bugs. For a game that's better with friends, you'd think they'd put a bit more effort into making that part of the game actually work.

I was playing the game with a monthly game club and we all sort of felt like it was a slog to get through until we found an exploit that allowed you to easily max your stats. Once you do that, the game is a dream. You can run through the level quickly, tearing through enemies, and rarely going down. It's just straight fun. Sadly, "just use an exploit and make sure you don't play the game alone" shouldn't be a requirement to have fun with a video game.

It's disappointing that Ubisoft didn't put as much love into remastering this game as the original devs put into making it. The slapping soundtrack by Anamanaguchi, the beautiful pixel visuals, the scene cards drawn by the comic's creator Bryan Lee O'Malley, the references to other games, and the absolute reverence they show to the source material is phenomenal. It just sucks that this game is kind of a bummer to play in 2022.

+ Incredible adaptation of the Scott Pilgrim comics
+ Banging soundtrack Anamanaguchi
+ Fantastic visuals and overall presentatio
+ Some fun hiding under an uphill climb

- Terrible, broken online
- Rough combat issues like stun-locking and infinite blocking enemies
- Too punishing even on "Easy" difficulty

The levels in this game take like 20 minutes >:(

THIS is the worst Sonic game ever made. 06, Shadow, Secret Rings, Forces, none of those even come close to reaching the level of sheer incompetence that this game has.

The others I listed I find fun to play, this game doesn't not carry that luxury. It removes everything great about what a Sonic game is, instead making a half-assed Mario Galaxy rip-off with some utterly bizarre level design choices.

This is what happens when you pander too much to the Classic Sonic audience, you get atrocities like this. I think the 3DS version is worse than the Wii U one, so I got the shittier end of the stick. Lucky me.

I'll admit, the first world is fine and a few odd levels are decent, but apart from that, everything sucks or is incredibly mediocre, which is worse than sucking.

But as bad as this game is, it reaches new heights for Sonic game writing. I genuinely laughed at the dialogue, though most of my chuckles weren't with the game.

For a positive at least, I don't mind the Deadly Six. If Eggman wasn't involved, they could have been decent one-off villains.