94 Reviews liked by Clemdoggy


Very fun game. Nice artstyle good music and awesome bosses. Happy that Capcom keeps supporting this franchise even though it isn't a big success. They should've marketed it more though. Still haven't gotten the true ending but I'll keep playing until I get it.










THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

I'VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU CONTRARIAN IDIOTS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOUR HORRIFIC LITTLE ATTORNEY IS NOT GETTING ANOTHER GAME! YOU SO DESPERATELY CLING TO THE IDEA OF YOUR JOKE DESIGN OF A FIGHTING GAME CHARACTER GETTING INTO WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY THE VIDEO GAME HALL OF FAME, AND IT DISGUSTS ME! IT IS UTTERLY PUTRID! STOP! FUCKING STOP! GHOSTS N' GOBLINS RUNS FUCKING CIRCLES AROUND THE PHOENIX WRIGHT FRANCHISE, IT IS OBJECTIVELY MORE POPULAR AND MEMORABLE, AND 30+ YEARS FROM NOW GHOSTS N' GOBLINS WILL BE FONDLY REMEMBERED WHILE PHOENIX WILL BE ESSENTIALLY WIPED FROM EXISTENCE. HE'S NOT GETTING IN. HE'S NEVER FUCKING GETTING IN. STOP. POSTING. ABOUT. PHOENIX. AND BEFORE YOU BAFOONS LEAVE ANY BRAINDEAD COMMENTS, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'VE HEARD EVERY SINGLE ONE IN THE BOOK. NONE OF YOU COME EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING WITTY OR CHARMING. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN. ARTHUR IS IN.

EDIT: I got the true ending. Sir Arthur is such a great and respectable hero.

What a nice game with good art and music I wonder if the composer has a Twitter account
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love the way your guy's head is primed to explode the INSTANT u hit zero health. this really is dogshit — its like if someone whacked every one of the original dead space devs in the skull with a lead pipe and left them to remake the game.

Un bon roman visuel solide avec une grande distribution de personnages qui tient encore aujourd'hui.

this game is so weird. they made the best pokemon game but its also the most blatantly unfinished game in a series full of other blatantly unfinished games, and also jumpscares you with ed sheeran. it is an utter enigma.

Hideki Kamiya is insane if he thinks i'm going to accept punk rock Ellen DeGeneres as the new Bayonetta

Since I only rate games here on a 5 point scale(no half stars) I have to clarify that I believe this game is a firm 9/10

This is probably my favourite modern jrpg since Dragon Quest XI, boasting an incredibly fun job system, fantastic art direction, and a story that at points got to me emotionally moreso than most other pieces of media. There is one key thing that holds this one down from being a true masterpiece and that is the length, this game is too long for what it is thanks to some unnecessary padding in chapter 4 and an overlong boring final dungeon. Overall, I loved it, I still can't decide between this and Kirby as my current GOTY but there were some things that held it back a little for me

Dark Souls and its consequences have been a disaster for the action genre

1/10 it’s a stinker, even Vanguard is better

This review was written before the game released

I guess I had better write an actual review this time as I wrote one before the game came out.

Simply put, far and away THE BEST game RGG have ever put out. Yakuza 7 left a little to be desired in certain areas (especially music and the janky combat) but they’ve nearly perfected their own RPG formula here with the additions of movement and chain attacks, which are both integral and important to the combat. The music is much improved from 7 as well, and while the story isn’t perfect in any way, the huge payoff you get from playing the series beforehand is massive. It has been an incredible journey and all of the fanservice and the sendoff for Kiryu cannot be matched.

I honestly have no idea where they go from here but every game RGG makes just gets better and better in the quality department and they really are in a league of their own with the maturity of stories they put out.

On a side note, if you don’t play all the games prior to this you are a coward. If you only play 7 before this you are an idiot. And RGG please never include another vtuber in your games ever again.

If you’re curious, this was the original review:
“If RGG has million number of fans i am one of them . if RGG has ten fans i am one of them. if RGG have only one fan and that is me . if RGG has no fans, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against the RGG, i am against the world. i love #RGG till my last breath.. .. Die Hard fan of RGG . Hit Like If you Think RGG Best developer & Smart In the world”

being a xenoblade fan is the jrpg equivalent of cult indoctrination, which is saying a lot because being a jrpg fan is like joining a cult in and of itself, so really it's like separating into an extremist faction of a larger cult that simultaneously infights at every given opportunity while taunting non-members for not finding Dunban "being over there" ticklingly hysterical even after the 167th time it's referenced in deeply brainrotted twitter circles.

I am allowed to say this and mean it endearingly because I am myself an unfathomably deranged xenoblade fan far beyond the brink of salvation. this game has irreparably changed me. I have been ruined. my brain is broken. I'm not sure it ever worked right, but my xenoblade fandom experience has ensured that it will always work wrong. otherwise innocuous terms such as "44 seconds" or "bestest" have pavloved me into laughing forever. when I see shulk take a bite of a sandwich and that bite does not animate on said sandwich, I emphatically applaud. the mere sight of Juju, a child whose only crime is loving his people, makes me black out with vitriolic rage. anytime I slice a hot knife through butter, I cry. anytime I walk on ice, I scream. when I check the time, all I see is Reyn's face on the clock - it is always Reyn time in my world now.

the other day around Reyn time (lunch) I was slicing open a bagel with a freshly sharpened serrated knife in order to make myself a toasted chicken salad sandwich. delicious. yum. bestest. unfortunately, the bagel slipped out from underneath my hand and I ended up slicing my own thumb instead. despite the alarmingly large amount of blood and even more abundant visceral pain, I luckily did not end up needing stitches. was I relieved? no. grateful? no. all that could cross my mind in that moment was that "your blade... it did not cut deep enough."

I mained Shulk competitively in super smash bros. for wii u because of my love and loyalty for this damned game. for those of you unfamiliar with Smash 4 - Shulk is booty buttcheeks doodoo dogass tier in Smash 4. he is fundamentally fucked. hopelessly hoed. maining Smash 4 Shulk is like marathon training for months only to tie a boulder to your ankle at the starting line, or maining Sharla in xenoblade 1. for four whole memorable-but-not-wonderful years I would mosey to local tournaments having extensively practiced my Arts Landing Lag Cancels and Monado B-Reversals and Purge 50-50s and Airslash Ledge Snaps (in AND out of Jump Art!) only to get utterly dicked and shitted and pissed and vomited on by some iron-deficient 14-year-old Kirby player who sucked the monado into his disgusting mouth hole and used Jump and Speed arts to Run The Fuck Away for 6 minutes. all that suffering to appease the cultish urge to remain steadfast in my xenoblade chronicles brainrot. peak fiction. I hate myself. I live for this game, and therefore want to die.

I am a shattered man. I come to you as a cautionary tale. I love xenoblade 1. it is a good game. some might call it a great one. I could even wager that it's a classic. but it is not worth a total fundamental collapse of the self. this game has significant faults that time has further illuminated. sidequests are trash. the game's third act is a disaster. characters have chemistry but very few have arcs. women don't exist in this game. why doesn't unfinished battle loop in that one fight. juju. I have heard it all. it is no longer cool or trendy or tasteful to praise xenoblade 1 as the jrpg bastion it once was.

I do not care. It is far too late for me to view this game objectively, yet I find I am more grateful to have loved a game to an extreme degree beyond objectivity even if it has cost me an entire lifetime of mental fortitude. I wish Dunban was my real dad and was "over there" instead of "forgetting me because of dementia." Riki eats your favorite jrpg mascot character for breakfast and still has time to canonically fuck his probably-smokin-hot-by-nopon-standards wife before lunch. expert worldbuilding dares to ask "what if we were all on A Guy and we climbed up his ass" and thats raw as fuck. expert OST dares to ask "what would it feel like if ears could cum" and then made my ears uncontrollably bust jumbo nut wads for over a decade running. I am one of the deranged freaks who mained Melia and therefore thinks the combat is Pretty Sick Actually. stop maining Shulk, losers. stop cradling that milquetoast monado like a security blanket and get in Melia's pain train, we're starlight kicking god in his Klaussy.

I don't care if this game is "overrated," or if i'm "scaring the hoes." I don't care if xenoblade 1 is "too anime" or "predictable" or "nonsensical" or "boring" or "not a replacement for proper nourishment." I love this game. I eat it up. I consume it in its totality - characters, world, combat, music, fandom, memes, merch, a decade of irreparably damaged culture and identity. like Shulk, it changed my future. Xenoblade Chronicles ruined my life, and I am forever thankful.

I haven't finished it yet but this is the greatest game ever created.

Edit: I finished it

This review contains spoilers

Oh, good hunter...

I've never written a Backloggd review, and I do not plan to make my first one a review style written piece. It is my favorite game of all time, and considering its now 7+ year age, this is a justification of what makes Bloodborne stand amongst the crowd of almost-perfect video games, and why my love for this game still prevails after all this time.

One of the most important parts of Bloodborne's unique is the world building. The game thrusts the player into the world of Yharnam; a dark, gothic, victorian city that has been infected with a disease, and now, it is time for the player to hunt. Right off the bat, the world is engaging, disturbing, and even has people behind their doors ready to give you a dose of the good news and tell you to fuck off, it's great. The first few major areas of the game build the conventional world of Yharnam perfectly, but as you progress deeper, the facade of this victorian city wears off and in comes one of the best thematic switch-ups in a videogame I've ever seen. The change to lovecraftian horror was more than a welcome change of pace. This plays into the mechanic of insight as well, a strange mechanic never much elaborated on in the early stages of the game. With progression, you realize that your insight is what keeps you from seeing the actual horrors of the world of Yharnam. Otherworldly monsters lurk around every corner, and with high enough insight, you can see these eldrich creatures before you are forced to gaze upon them. From this game, I have two areas that stand amongst the most well crafted and excellent areas in games, those being Castle Cainhurst and the Research Hall. These areas are challenging, well thought out in design and layout, and always a joy to explore.
No world building is complete without music, and Bloodborne, as well as Souls in general, lacks music for the most part. However, this is key to creating a way more intense atmosphere as you traverse a world without hope. So when you encounter bosses to triumph over, you finally are introduced to music. The boss music is some of the most well composed pieces I have heard in a video game, from Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Ludwig the Holy Blade, Queen of the Vilebloods, The First Hunter, Laurence the First Vicar and more, your heart will race with every encounter. Not to mention the areas that do have music to create a more tense atmosphere. These include Hypogean Gaol, The Upper Cathedral Ward and the Hunter's Dream.
All of this ties into the lore, and it is cryptic. Bosses are more than just spectacles waiting to be conquered, they have importance in the story. NPCs are more than just jesters waiting to laugh at you since you did not understand shit they told you since their dialogue is all giggles and riddles. What you make of Bloodborne's story is what you make of it. The lore is in the dialogue, item descriptions and the world, but you have to go out and find it. A lot of the lore is more readily available and better explained elsewhere other than this essay. Just know, one of my favorite stories is told through this game, for the secrets of Yharnam beckon so sweetly.

Another thing I appreciate about Bloodborne was the new mechanics that differentiated the game from previous Souls games. The rally mechanic is something unique to Bloodborne, until Elden Ring (granted, that game does not well implement the mechanic), to force you to be aggressive instead of the passivity of Souls. The lack of a shield, and the introduction of a gun to solely parry pushes the player to really understand the depth of the combat, and fight against your enemies with every skill you've learned. Fights become dances, and truly makes you feel like every victory is earned. Bloodborne has conditioned me to play every Souls game more aggressively, and I can never go back. Also, the trick weapons are such a perfect weapon system and the depth they provide is endless joy. One drawback I can admit Bloodborne has was the finite amount of healing, instead of the beautifuly crafted Estus Flask. When you want healing outside of rallying, and you run out, you must farm for more. Granted, Blood Vials, the item for healing, do drop from enemies often upon death, however, it is still not a perfect system.
One of the final things I want to touch upon is the bosses. The bosses are always some of the best parts of every Souls game, and that applies in Bloodborne. How can one forget their first triumph over Father Gascoigne, or learning how to successfully manage the Shadows of Yharnam? The emotionally compelling fight of Gehrman, a battle of a mentor vs student, to let the other free from suffering. A horrific first encounter with Ebrietas in the depths of the Upper Cathedral Ward. Ludwig and the Orphan of Kos, two difficult fights that are some of the most well crafted in Soulsborne to date. Then, I mentioned earlier in this essay how two of my favorite areas are Castle Cainhurst and the Research Hall, and they hold two of my favorite bosses in the game. Martyr Logarius and Lady Maria are elegant dances of ferocious combat and aggression. Lady Maria stands as my favorite boss fight in a game ever, it is that good.

I have rambled on for a long time about this near-masterpiece. I have shilled this game to almost everyone I know, and tried multiple co-op sessions even thought 99% of those fail because my friends are COWARDS.
Hopefully in the future, we see this game remastered, and brought to PC in Sony's new efforts, for more people to experience this game.
No, Bloodborne is more than a video game, it is a masterful, well-crafted work of art that is a necessity to experience.