Clemdoggy
96 Reviews liked by Clemdoggy
I was thinking of what to make my review for this game then in my head I hear "Hello everyone. It is me, Count Dracula, and you are watching Disney Channel" and I literally cannot think of anything else
Jetpack Joyride
2011
Probably the best endless runner ever made, but there’s only so much of that gameloop you can stomach before you get bored. Solid game as always.
Starfield
2023
FUCKING PRONOUNS
12 Bananas
2020
Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction
It’s the biggest piece of dogshit
When Ganondorf said "Hestu.... means nothing to me..." before dropping a nuclear bomb on him I cried 😭😭😭
This happened to my buddy once
Donkey Kong Country
1994
Oh man I love this game
Super Paper Mario
2007
This review contains spoilers
This game sucks.
Super Paper Mario is not only the worst game in the Mario franchise, it is a strong contender for the worst game in Nintendo's history. Every single aspect of this game is bad from its lacklustre gameplay, to it's badly implemented partner system and a story so incredibly edgy it makes YIIK look like The Godfather.
The entire time during the game I can never tell if it wants me to play an RPG or a platformer, it spans across both genres and fails miserably at both. Because the whole unique shtick with this one that separates it from the other games in the series is that you can.... play the game in 3D. Is this a fun mechanic? No. It's absolutely terrible and makes it pointless to play as any character other than Mario when traversing through the overworld, which by the way has some of the most uncreative and ugly looking NPCs and enemy designs in any Mario game.
Mario does nothing in this game, he literally just walks around and doesn't have any funny interactions like in Paper Mario 64, the protagonist of this game is Tippi. A butterfly who got sent to The Flipside dimension by the father of Count Bleck, the game's main villain. Bleck wants to destroy the worlds after he lost his Tippi because the son of a cult leader can never find true love... WOW. Incredible message game! Where'd you steal that from? The Phantom of the Opera? But noooo that story wasn't edgy was it? So lets just add in this magical tome call The Dark Prognosticous to make this game's story seem mature than it is. GARBAGE
Any when Bleck is done having his little Kylo Ren tantrum he unleashes the chaos heart to desroy all the worlds, including The Mushroom Kingdom so Mario has to go around dimension hopping so other characters can complete his quest for him. Oh and btw Luigi is evil, because I guess that helps with his character development?
'Are any of these dimesnions worth saving' you might ask and the answer to that is NO. The only one thats actually unique or interesting is the one that actually gets destroyed in the main story that has these awesome little samurai dudes, easily the best part of the game.
If you noticed by now I'm only ragging on this games terrible fanfiction-tier story its because the gameplay has NOTHING noteworthy to mention. Theres this retro 8-bit powerup that has a funny interaction with a Koopa Troopa in World 3 but thats the only entertaining this game does, the boss fights are the easiest of any mario game, the final boss of the game is the easiest one and every enemy is defeated almost exactly the same (You just use Bowser's fire)
The partners are nearly all USELESS apart from the one you get for beating the games post game pit of 100 trials and you know why? Because it actually helps you speed up with this god awful game and help you beat it faster so you can put it back in the box and never touch it again. And this game can be SLOW at times, if not for some unfunny meta humour NPC making you do some dumb quest then definitely some of the level design taking you on literal railroads for 15-20 seconds to sell the "WOAH THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PAPER" aesthetic, something that the previous game on the GameCube did way too much and something this game does equally as often to absolutely zero laughs or smiles at the quirkiness.
World 1 is bad - You go through this desert and it mostly serves as an introduction to a minor villain in O'chunks who is Bowser's rival
World 2 is actually good - The villain in this one turns into a giant spider and chases you down like Resident Evil 3, the only actual challenging part of the game
World 3 is awful - The meta humour is on point with Bowser being a painfully unfunny joke and the villain is some nerd who kidnaps Tippi because he likes Funko Pops
World 4 is so bad I can't put it into words - The level design is utterly atrocious
I don't remember World 5
Haha I love the little Samurai Dudes!
World 7 is bad - You get Luigi back but its too late in the game for him to do anything actually meaningful
World 8 is also bad - Everywhere looks the exact same because the castle has 1 aesthetic which is black with white outlines, and this game expects you to find gaps in 3D when it looks like this.
I hope after you read this review and if you're on the fence about playing this game that you take the following advice:
Don't.This game sucks.
Super Paper Mario is not only the worst game in the Mario franchise, it is a strong contender for the worst game in Nintendo's history. Every single aspect of this game is bad from its lacklustre gameplay, to it's badly implemented partner system and a story so incredibly edgy it makes YIIK look like The Godfather.
The entire time during the game I can never tell if it wants me to play an RPG or a platformer, it spans across both genres and fails miserably at both. Because the whole unique shtick with this one that separates it from the other games in the series is that you can.... play the game in 3D. Is this a fun mechanic? No. It's absolutely terrible and makes it pointless to play as any character other than Mario when traversing through the overworld, which by the way has some of the most uncreative and ugly looking NPCs and enemy designs in any Mario game.
Mario does nothing in this game, he literally just walks around and doesn't have any funny interactions like in Paper Mario 64, the protagonist of this game is Tippi. A butterfly who got sent to The Flipside dimension by the father of Count Bleck, the game's main villain. Bleck wants to destroy the worlds after he lost his Tippi because the son of a cult leader can never find true love... WOW. Incredible message game! Where'd you steal that from? The Phantom of the Opera? But noooo that story wasn't edgy was it? So lets just add in this magical tome call The Dark Prognosticous to make this game's story seem mature than it is. GARBAGE
Any when Bleck is done having his little Kylo Ren tantrum he unleashes the chaos heart to desroy all the worlds, including The Mushroom Kingdom so Mario has to go around dimension hopping so other characters can complete his quest for him. Oh and btw Luigi is evil, because I guess that helps with his character development?
'Are any of these dimesnions worth saving' you might ask and the answer to that is NO. The only one thats actually unique or interesting is the one that actually gets destroyed in the main story that has these awesome little samurai dudes, easily the best part of the game.
If you noticed by now I'm only ragging on this games terrible fanfiction-tier story its because the gameplay has NOTHING noteworthy to mention. Theres this retro 8-bit powerup that has a funny interaction with a Koopa Troopa in World 3 but thats the only entertaining this game does, the boss fights are the easiest of any mario game, the final boss of the game is the easiest one and every enemy is defeated almost exactly the same (You just use Bowser's fire)
The partners are nearly all USELESS apart from the one you get for beating the games post game pit of 100 trials and you know why? Because it actually helps you speed up with this god awful game and help you beat it faster so you can put it back in the box and never touch it again. And this game can be SLOW at times, if not for some unfunny meta humour NPC making you do some dumb quest then definitely some of the level design taking you on literal railroads for 15-20 seconds to sell the "WOAH THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PAPER" aesthetic, something that the previous game on the GameCube did way too much and something this game does equally as often to absolutely zero laughs or smiles at the quirkiness.
World 1 is bad - You go through this desert and it mostly serves as an introduction to a minor villain in O'chunks who is Bowser's rival
World 2 is actually good - The villain in this one turns into a giant spider and chases you down like Resident Evil 3, the only actual challenging part of the game
World 3 is awful - The meta humour is on point with Bowser being a painfully unfunny joke and the villain is some nerd who kidnaps Tippi because he likes Funko Pops
World 4 is so bad I can't put it into words - The level design is utterly atrocious
I don't remember World 5
Haha I love the little Samurai Dudes!
World 7 is bad - You get Luigi back but its too late in the game for him to do anything actually meaningful
World 8 is also bad - Everywhere looks the exact same because the castle has 1 aesthetic which is black with white outlines, and this game expects you to find gaps in 3D when it looks like this.
I hope after you read this review and if you're on the fence about playing this game that you take the following advice:
Don't.This game sucks.
Resident Evil 4
2023
I loved the original Resident Evil 4 so much. It's one of my favorite games ever made, and it is nearly perfect every sense of the word. Notice how I said nearly perfect, because there was just a few issues: the game had too much soul and I hated that Salazar wore a hat. For years I had thought if only there was a game that could solve my problems.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
Persona 5 Royal
2019
pretty good cashgrab
Persona 5 Royal
2019
it is that good
I know people wont agree with my controversial opinion but this game reminds me of the Mona Lisa as the developers at infinity ward masterfully crafted their work to fit the mold of what was done in the past with games such as Bloodborne metal gear solid 3 and umineko. I only played the free trial though so its over and its back to mediocrity for the rest of my life instead of this.
"Back then, we were in modern warfare. But now? This is modern warfare 2"
Bravo.
"Back then, we were in modern warfare. But now? This is modern warfare 2"
Bravo.
Definition of GOAT: Greatest Of All Time: used to refer to or describe the person who has performed better than anyone else ever, especially in a sport.
Definition of GOAT (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn): Brom.
Above all else, Brom is the GOAT. There is no questioning this fact. No one else in this game is Brom. Every character in this game wishes they were Brom, but they will never be. They wish they could be even half of who he is, but they never will be. Brom is a soldier, a champion, and a family man. The strongest generals and even the mightiest gods tremble when they see him approaching. It's not a matter of if Brom can triumph, it's a matter of how fast he will. He is the Greatest Of All Time.
Definition of GOAT (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn): Brom.
Above all else, Brom is the GOAT. There is no questioning this fact. No one else in this game is Brom. Every character in this game wishes they were Brom, but they will never be. They wish they could be even half of who he is, but they never will be. Brom is a soldier, a champion, and a family man. The strongest generals and even the mightiest gods tremble when they see him approaching. It's not a matter of if Brom can triumph, it's a matter of how fast he will. He is the Greatest Of All Time.
Hi-Fi Rush
2023
Hi-Fi Rush never misses a beat. From start to finish this colorful, rhythmic world will pull you in and keep you there. I don't think there was ever a span of more than 5 minutes where I wasn't head bobbing or toe tapping to the beat. The combat is really tight and rewarding when you string together combos, parries, and dodges. It's a technical marvel too, almost all animations in the game sync up to the beat of whatever is currently playing, regardless of what you are doing. Even Chai's idle and run animations will follow the beat. As a game developer who works with sound, it's just a really impressive game. It's incredibly polished and well paced, has genuinely good writing and humor, and even weaves in some fun pop culture references along the way. I would call this GotY if it weren't for the absolute stacked year we're about to have with games. This game is still a banger and a must play, it's short and sweet and constant fun. One of the best games I've played in the last 5 years easily.