Me: But since we're all gonna die, there's one more secret I feel I have to share with you. I did not care for Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Deadpan: What?

Me: Did not care for Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Isaac: How can you even say that, STRM?

Me: Didn't like it.

Deadpan: STRM, it's so good! It's like the perfect comedy platformer!

Me: This is what everyone always said. Whenever they say...

Isaac: Voice Acting, clever writing, I mean, RAREWAR GOLDEN YEARSll!

Me: Fine. Fine. Fine stuff, did not like the game.

Gringo: Why not?

Me: Did not...couldn't get into it.

Deadpan: Explain yourself. What didn't you like about it?

Me: It insists upon itself, Deadpan.

Deadpan: What?

Me: It insists upon itself.

Deadpan: What does that even mean?

Isaac: Because it was an adult only game made on N64 and the last games released on the system, IT HAD A VALID REASON TO DO SO, IT’S INSISTED!

Me: Its controls are really sloppy; a lot of the jokes are just poop jokes or characters swearing for the sake of it... You know, I can't get through, I've never even finished the game. I've never seen the ending.

Isaac: YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THE ENDING?!

Helicon: How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?

Deadpan: I agree with Helicon. It's not even fair.

Me: I have tried on three separate occasions to get through it, and I get to the section where it’s WWII and you're fighting the Nazi teddy bears and.

Deadpan: Yeah, it's a great section. I love that section.

Me: It’s not, the shooting and aiming is dogshit. That part in the hallway is pure bullshit... You know, that's where I lose interest in it.

Deadpan: You know what, STRM.

Isaac: IT WAS ON N64!

Deadpan: you can’t expect every single video game in the 5th gen era to hold up to modern day standards; sometimes games made back them didn't have the technology or the time to have everything work the way the devs probably wanted them to work.

Me: I love Banjo-Kazooie. That is my answer to that statement.

Deadpan: Exactly.

Me: Well, there you go.

Deadpan: Whatever.

Isaac: I like that game too.

A perfectly fine game. I don't think it will have a long shelf life because it lacks real tension for most of the game. I think if there were more of an emphasis on the PVP element, it would be a much better multiplayer experience because encountering other players gets pretty fun.

Unfortunately, this is only like a game's last 3-5 minutes.

Adding an extra half-star because the women mechs in this game have fat dump truck asses.

Funny enough, the rest of the franchise would become the definition of insanity itself…

But this one though…

This one, is the best example of a great game, well written, extremely well made, BUT…. Riddled with classic questionable Ubisoft decisions that could have destroyed it, had it not been for one… tiny, little, detail…..

Vaas Montenegro.

One of the best written, acted, and developed characters of videogame history.
Mixed with one of the best protagonists as well.

Jason Brody being a mirror of Vaas’s tragic story, is the fuel that keeps this game burning even so long after its release.

Had it not been for Hoyt’s final island that takes up half of the game, everyone would agree this game was a 10/10…. It is to me, but, I understand why it isn’t to many.

This game marked history as the creator of the best open world formula of it’s time, that slowly became more and more cursed due to it being overused in every single Ubisoft game even to this day.

It is a great, memorable experience that has the staying power of any of the ultimate classics of videogame history like Bioshock and Spec Ops: The Line.
(But… not 100% as great as those of course)

So…

To end this review, I ask you….

Did I ever tell you the definition…. Of insanity?

Amnesia: The Bunker is the first game of the Amnesia franchise that I finished, even though I own the first two games through PS+. I just never really got to play them and the first time that this game caught my attention was when I played the demo. First thing which confused me was that the game only has a old gen version. Why not current gen? Besides that the game was quite scary at times and I had goosebumps frequently. Which is a pleasant suprise for a horror veteran like I would call myself. Because many of the modern horror games feel the same or are just not scary. If I had to compare it to one game than it would be Alien Isolation. Don't get me wrong, Alien Isolation is still on a whole 'nother level. But Amnesia: The Bunker also relies heavily on sounddesign and that you as the player are very quiet so that the monster is not alerted. The isolated setting in the bunker worked great and the monster just behaves and feels very similar to the Xenomorph from Alien Isolation..
But you can clearly feel that it's not a AAA game because the performance has a few problems like stuttering and freezing whenever you enter a bigger area. I also had a some crashes which is frustating because there is no autosave mechanic. So I always had to replay from the last manual save point which the game only has 2 of. That wouldn't be a problem if the controls wouldn't be so clunky on the PS5. But these are just some minor in short but also very atmospheric and tense game. I'm really glad that it was a "real" monster and that it didn't had the generic "It's only in your head" twist at the end which I"ve seen so often , especially in a horror game with a setting during a war. But I liked the setting this time around and never felt save while playing Amnesia : The Bunker because the monster could attack at any moment. Maybe I really have to go back and finally play the first two games.

#4 in my List of Top 5 Games of 2023