CreamyClaws
1999
I started playing this game with an open mind - as one should when playing a game that's almost as old as I am on the ps1, a console not exactly known for its smooth controls. It's a delicate balance between reviewing a game keeping the time it came out in mind, and understanding that we have different standards in the current year and discussing the game in that light. I came out of this game pleasantly surprised. It still holds up really well for a game made two and a half decades ago, on a very old console.
Controls: Before you start playing this game, you'll want to change the control scheme to the more modern one on offer. It's pretty much the same as more modern FPS control schemes, but with a few catches: you have to stand still to aim, and aiming does not aim down the sights. It shows a crosshair that moves across the screen, temporarily changing your game into an arcade style shooter. The aiming is more or less smooth, and the aim assist is somewhat decent, which allows you to face the gauntlet that you'll be up against in the later parts of the game. The weapon swap is also very much a product of its time. You have to swap through a roster of four or five weapons that you're given to get a single weapon that you want. This includes grenades, which don't have a dedicated button. This isn't too bad, unless you're out of ammo and the next weapon you have is a bazooka, and you instinctively fire it and blow yourself up in the process. This predates something like the GTA weapon wheel.
Enemy design: There are multiple enemy types on tap here: riflemen, who have helmets that allow them to survive most headshots once before the helmet falls off and requires you to kill them with a second headshot. Submachine gunners, which can be absolutely ridiculous when paired with the level design. They can melt your health bar very quickly because they have a tendency to bum rush you and corner camp behind doors, so you can lose your entire health bar in a second after walking through the door. Finally, we have the panzerschrek users. These guys completely ruin some of the later levels, because they hide in dark corridors. The last thing you'll see is a rocket propelling towards you, and all of your progress through the mission is obliterated. I absolutely despise these enemies, and the game would be better if they were nerfed or taken out altogether. Luckily, half the time they fire their weapons, they end up killing themselves by accident. The enemy AI is intelligent to an extent, they can take cover, dive down, roll around, and zoom up to you like a Fortnite zoomer with ADHD. They can also throw grenades, but, like the panzerschrek users, they mostly just end up throwing grenades and running into them. The death animations are pretty cool too, though they can be distracting in crucial points of the game.
Graphics: They look good for a ps1 game. The animations do too. The lighting, however, is absolutely abysmal. You can't modify the brightness in the game itself, so you'll have to change the brightness on your TV because some of these levels can be pitch black since they're set at night. The draw distance is not helped by this either.
Difficulty: The difficulty curve on this game looks like a heartbeat monitor belonging to a meth head with cardiac arrhythmia. One mission can be disgustingly brutal, and the next could be an absolute breeze. The final two missions are a hilarious example of this. The second to last mission is one of the hardest in the game, with panzerschrek users and submachine gunners hiding behind every corner, requiring a ton of trial and error. The problem is, you'd think the final mission would be one last challenge to send off the experience. It's not. If you tried to properly play the mission by using the turret in the beginning and killing all the enemies, you'll get absolutely destroyed. In this regard, it's the hardest level in the game. However, this is completely optional. It's the easiest level in the game when you just saunter past the gauntlet of enemies, kill a few scientists, and then launch the rocket. I was baffled at how easy it was to skirt the "final boss", but I'm not complaining because that last gauntlet would've been ridiculously hard to beat.
Level Design: You have to do objectives to get past the levels. If you don't, and try to leave the level before finishing the objectives, you'll have to restart the entire thing. Why they didn't just prevent you from walking through is beyond me. The objectives usually just involve blowing something up, picking up some papers, or killing a certain type of enemy. It's like Goldeneye but slightly dumbed down. I think it adds a good amount of depth to the game, because you keep your eyes peeled for the next objective and it lets you use your imagination to fill in the narrative blanks that are in the game due to its age. Some of the levels don't benefit from their age though, because many of the areas look exactly the same and loop within each other. Sometimes the only way to progress is through a grate near the floor that's covered entirely in darkness. There will be times when you're wandering around for a while. There are no mid-mission checkpoints either, which is a frustrating relic of the fifth and sixth generations of gaming. If you die, you're going back to the start. Luckily missions are fairly short.
Story: Almost nonexistent. You're Steven Spielberg's World War II fan-fic OC Jimmy Patterson, who is good at literally everything, from killing Natzees to theoretical physics. You go through a series of episodic missions, which have you sabotaging certain pieces of the German war machine, such as the V2 rocket or the D2O reserves for their atomic bombs in Norway. It's a very standard World War II game.
Overall, I would've docked it two points for this dated design, but it gets half a point because it keeps score of how many times you can shoot enemies in the dick. Sovl. If you don't mind some old jank, give this game a shot. It's pretty fun and memorable.
Controls: Before you start playing this game, you'll want to change the control scheme to the more modern one on offer. It's pretty much the same as more modern FPS control schemes, but with a few catches: you have to stand still to aim, and aiming does not aim down the sights. It shows a crosshair that moves across the screen, temporarily changing your game into an arcade style shooter. The aiming is more or less smooth, and the aim assist is somewhat decent, which allows you to face the gauntlet that you'll be up against in the later parts of the game. The weapon swap is also very much a product of its time. You have to swap through a roster of four or five weapons that you're given to get a single weapon that you want. This includes grenades, which don't have a dedicated button. This isn't too bad, unless you're out of ammo and the next weapon you have is a bazooka, and you instinctively fire it and blow yourself up in the process. This predates something like the GTA weapon wheel.
Enemy design: There are multiple enemy types on tap here: riflemen, who have helmets that allow them to survive most headshots once before the helmet falls off and requires you to kill them with a second headshot. Submachine gunners, which can be absolutely ridiculous when paired with the level design. They can melt your health bar very quickly because they have a tendency to bum rush you and corner camp behind doors, so you can lose your entire health bar in a second after walking through the door. Finally, we have the panzerschrek users. These guys completely ruin some of the later levels, because they hide in dark corridors. The last thing you'll see is a rocket propelling towards you, and all of your progress through the mission is obliterated. I absolutely despise these enemies, and the game would be better if they were nerfed or taken out altogether. Luckily, half the time they fire their weapons, they end up killing themselves by accident. The enemy AI is intelligent to an extent, they can take cover, dive down, roll around, and zoom up to you like a Fortnite zoomer with ADHD. They can also throw grenades, but, like the panzerschrek users, they mostly just end up throwing grenades and running into them. The death animations are pretty cool too, though they can be distracting in crucial points of the game.
Graphics: They look good for a ps1 game. The animations do too. The lighting, however, is absolutely abysmal. You can't modify the brightness in the game itself, so you'll have to change the brightness on your TV because some of these levels can be pitch black since they're set at night. The draw distance is not helped by this either.
Difficulty: The difficulty curve on this game looks like a heartbeat monitor belonging to a meth head with cardiac arrhythmia. One mission can be disgustingly brutal, and the next could be an absolute breeze. The final two missions are a hilarious example of this. The second to last mission is one of the hardest in the game, with panzerschrek users and submachine gunners hiding behind every corner, requiring a ton of trial and error. The problem is, you'd think the final mission would be one last challenge to send off the experience. It's not. If you tried to properly play the mission by using the turret in the beginning and killing all the enemies, you'll get absolutely destroyed. In this regard, it's the hardest level in the game. However, this is completely optional. It's the easiest level in the game when you just saunter past the gauntlet of enemies, kill a few scientists, and then launch the rocket. I was baffled at how easy it was to skirt the "final boss", but I'm not complaining because that last gauntlet would've been ridiculously hard to beat.
Level Design: You have to do objectives to get past the levels. If you don't, and try to leave the level before finishing the objectives, you'll have to restart the entire thing. Why they didn't just prevent you from walking through is beyond me. The objectives usually just involve blowing something up, picking up some papers, or killing a certain type of enemy. It's like Goldeneye but slightly dumbed down. I think it adds a good amount of depth to the game, because you keep your eyes peeled for the next objective and it lets you use your imagination to fill in the narrative blanks that are in the game due to its age. Some of the levels don't benefit from their age though, because many of the areas look exactly the same and loop within each other. Sometimes the only way to progress is through a grate near the floor that's covered entirely in darkness. There will be times when you're wandering around for a while. There are no mid-mission checkpoints either, which is a frustrating relic of the fifth and sixth generations of gaming. If you die, you're going back to the start. Luckily missions are fairly short.
Story: Almost nonexistent. You're Steven Spielberg's World War II fan-fic OC Jimmy Patterson, who is good at literally everything, from killing Natzees to theoretical physics. You go through a series of episodic missions, which have you sabotaging certain pieces of the German war machine, such as the V2 rocket or the D2O reserves for their atomic bombs in Norway. It's a very standard World War II game.
Overall, I would've docked it two points for this dated design, but it gets half a point because it keeps score of how many times you can shoot enemies in the dick. Sovl. If you don't mind some old jank, give this game a shot. It's pretty fun and memorable.
Ascension 4 20 69 2 9 11 17 38 80 08 13 5 42 86 7 53 0 9 24 25 0 11 34
Massive improvement over the first game. It's insane how close this game is to the original MGS1, and still plays decently well for something made 33 years ago.
This game was like a blowtorch to the nuts, even when you played """easy""" (still obscenely difficult) mode as Maria. I enjoyed my time marathoning Classicvania, but I'm glad it's over because these old CV games are not good for your mental well being.
Very fun game, feels like a frenetic movement shooter. They could've made a crappy Quake clone, but instead they made something so much better.
The gameplay was good but the story was bad to an insulting degree.
It's important to give Konami the credit it's due, because this game blazed a trail in video game representation. Never before had a game put you in the shoes of an arthritic old man like this one. This is game 3 of my Castlevania chronological marathon. I can't tell if this is better or worse than Simon's Quest, but it's certainly not good. I grew up playing this on the GBA, it was my first Castlevania. Let's just say I'd hate to be a Castlevania fan in the late 80s, getting back to back stinkers like Simon's Quest and this. Dracula's Curse ironically must've been a blessing. I feel good having beaten this after 20+ years.
2016
I mean, it's Bioshock. Saying Bioshock is good is like saying water is wet. It's a streamlined ImmSim experience brought to the modern age, with an immersive world, an intriguing story, extremely good voice acting and dialog, and high replay value. This game has aged like a fine wine due to its presentation and art style as well. It's action-packed without being overly flashy. The narrative is dramatic without being ham-fisted. The gameplay is fun and heavily rpg-esque without being too janky.
That being said, here are the flaws because I love to complain. The last few hours of the game are a serious miss. The escort mission with the little sister and the hilariously high difficulty spike kind of sour the experience, and the final boss is very lackluster.
Overall though, no game is perfect but this one is still a masterpiece. Best in the series, even. Go play it now.
That being said, here are the flaws because I love to complain. The last few hours of the game are a serious miss. The escort mission with the little sister and the hilariously high difficulty spike kind of sour the experience, and the final boss is very lackluster.
Overall though, no game is perfect but this one is still a masterpiece. Best in the series, even. Go play it now.
2019
Got all the Steam achievements for this one. Amazing visuals, interesting level design, visually distinct enemies, and fast frenetic gameplay are on tap here. However, the levels can get a bit samey and the damage numbers feel "off", as opposed to something like DUSK or Quake's base game which feel appropriate for the amount of enemies on screen and the type of weapons you're given.
2019
As a certified zoomer, my dad's ps1 was my first console. On it, we had Spyro, Symphony of the Night, Neversoft's Spiderman, and MediEvil. I played all of them, but not MediEvil for some reason. I wish I had, because this is the kind of game that I would play the first few levels of over and over again as a kid because my child brain didn't have the IQ to get through harder levels. After playing this as an adult, I felt like I did as a kid all those years ago playing ps1. This game is really fun and makes me nostalgic despite having never played it before, though many of its mechanics haven't really aged well in some regards.
The atmosphere and soundtrack are impeccable, especially for the Halloween season. It's the perfect game to play with a cup of coffee, an open window to let in the crisp autumn air, and a pumpkin spice candle burning on the counter. This coziness is helped by its Tim Burton-esque art style and sense of humor. I'll bookend this with the story - it's nothing to write home about. It has a really funny premise and there are even some moments that I'd dare to call epic. It's satisfying seeing the former coward Daniel Fortesque getting over his mild disability of being dead and slowly accruing more power to defeat Zarok.
The levels themselves can be fairly hit or miss. Many of them are fun to explore and traverse, and have intuitive puzzles and level design, but there are some like the Ghost Ship and Asylum which can be infuriating.
I thought this game would be a lot harder than it actually ended up being, because the earlier sections were very difficult due to the combat system's tendency to feel really weird and awful. It's really hard to kill enemies without getting hit since they more or less ignore your strikes until they're dead, and don't usually stagger. The best way to get through the combat in the earlier parts of this game is to run around like a cokehead and slash at everything that moves. If you're anything like me and got the chalices the first time going through each level, you'd know about the magic sword that never loses its charge towards the end of the game that makes all of the combat trivially easy, and the fact that you have many lives if you max out your health bar (which is another fairly easy task if you got all the chalices). The camera is an absolute nightmare though, and the controls make platforming a pain. This is a remake in the school of remakes that are a litte too faithful to the original, similar to the Demon's Souls remake, and keep annoying and outdated mechanics from the original release while providing just a graphical overhaul and a few quality of life improvements like more life fountains around the levels and certain advantages against bosses.
Overall, this was a good time that wasn't as painful as I thought it would be judging by first impressions, and is an easy game to recommend if you're willing to deal with some outdated mechanics.
The atmosphere and soundtrack are impeccable, especially for the Halloween season. It's the perfect game to play with a cup of coffee, an open window to let in the crisp autumn air, and a pumpkin spice candle burning on the counter. This coziness is helped by its Tim Burton-esque art style and sense of humor. I'll bookend this with the story - it's nothing to write home about. It has a really funny premise and there are even some moments that I'd dare to call epic. It's satisfying seeing the former coward Daniel Fortesque getting over his mild disability of being dead and slowly accruing more power to defeat Zarok.
The levels themselves can be fairly hit or miss. Many of them are fun to explore and traverse, and have intuitive puzzles and level design, but there are some like the Ghost Ship and Asylum which can be infuriating.
I thought this game would be a lot harder than it actually ended up being, because the earlier sections were very difficult due to the combat system's tendency to feel really weird and awful. It's really hard to kill enemies without getting hit since they more or less ignore your strikes until they're dead, and don't usually stagger. The best way to get through the combat in the earlier parts of this game is to run around like a cokehead and slash at everything that moves. If you're anything like me and got the chalices the first time going through each level, you'd know about the magic sword that never loses its charge towards the end of the game that makes all of the combat trivially easy, and the fact that you have many lives if you max out your health bar (which is another fairly easy task if you got all the chalices). The camera is an absolute nightmare though, and the controls make platforming a pain. This is a remake in the school of remakes that are a litte too faithful to the original, similar to the Demon's Souls remake, and keep annoying and outdated mechanics from the original release while providing just a graphical overhaul and a few quality of life improvements like more life fountains around the levels and certain advantages against bosses.
Overall, this was a good time that wasn't as painful as I thought it would be judging by first impressions, and is an easy game to recommend if you're willing to deal with some outdated mechanics.
I want to play it again but my blood pressure is high enough as is.
Looks much better than the original, plays the same as the original (which still holds up beautifully in terms of gameplay, pacing, and level design), but has some extra content like the theater section that made me want to commit war crimes in Albania.
2020
I give it an extra half star because the last batch of boss fights was really good.
Overall, here are the impressions for both versions (notwithstanding the westernized art style that I could take or leave and 8-direction movement):
+ Nice story that makes you feel genuine emotion at times.
+ Epic, cinematic gimmick boss fights like Maiden Astraea and the Storm King.
+ The high of finishing a difficult section.
+ Excellent dreamlike high fantasy atmosphere.
+ Excellent soundtrack.
- Horrendous level design with very few shortcuts, felt like banging your head against a wall due to lack of checkpoints within stages.
- Weird balancing, such as no poise and magic being overly favored.
- Unbalanced moon grass healing system.
- Carry weight.
- Swamp of sorrow. Seriously, Miyazaki must have a fetish for Louisiana.
Overall, here are the impressions for both versions (notwithstanding the westernized art style that I could take or leave and 8-direction movement):
+ Nice story that makes you feel genuine emotion at times.
+ Epic, cinematic gimmick boss fights like Maiden Astraea and the Storm King.
+ The high of finishing a difficult section.
+ Excellent dreamlike high fantasy atmosphere.
+ Excellent soundtrack.
- Horrendous level design with very few shortcuts, felt like banging your head against a wall due to lack of checkpoints within stages.
- Weird balancing, such as no poise and magic being overly favored.
- Unbalanced moon grass healing system.
- Carry weight.
- Swamp of sorrow. Seriously, Miyazaki must have a fetish for Louisiana.
2006
I'm a fan of this game, definitely a proud member of the BLACK community.
2020
Patch all the bugs you want, it's still a poor RPG that feels like it's held together by Elmer's glue and duct tape.