What do you mean I can't "croissant" my pawns? Pill Bilbis, the legendary chess grandmaster, would never approve of learning chess only to be subjected to early queen checkmate tactics and unskippable YouTuber clips. We all know it's a horse, but who needs your conventional strategies when there's the magnificent and mythical wheel piece?

In Chess Ultra, prepare for a chess experience like no other. From the moment you enter the game, it's evident that you'll face an array of challenging opponents, each with their unique playing style. Don't expect to just 'croissant' your way to victory; you'll need wit and cunning.

The game's visuals are stunning, offering a refined, almost luxurious experience. It's like playing chess in an art gallery, with beautifully rendered pieces and boards that add a touch of class to the game. You can almost feel Pill Bilbis nodding in approval.

Now, let's talk about the horsey – I mean, the knight piece. If you're new to chess, it might be tempting to nickname it a horsey. However, the game makes it clear that it's not to be taken lightly. In fact, after a few games, you might hear the echoing laughter of Hikaru Nakamura in your head every time you make a suboptimal move with the knight. This game has a way of teaching respect for each piece, even the horsey.

In Chess Ultra, you'll discover that there's a depth to chess that goes beyond early queen checkmates. It encourages you to hone your skills, develop strategies, and appreciate the timeless game. And it's not just about winning; it's about the journey, the challenge, and the satisfaction of a well-played game.

For both newcomers and seasoned chess players, Chess Ultra offers a high-quality chess experience. Although Pill Bilbis may not endorse the game himself, I give Chess Ultra a well-deserved 8 out of 10. After all, it's not about how you croissant your pawns, but how you seize the victory!

The epic quest to carry on the legacy begins, for I am the second Rogue of this lineage, following the footsteps of the first Rogue. Armed with the tales of the grandeur my predecessor described, a tranquil oasis in a desert of sameness, I embarked on a mission to surpass their legacy.

But as I wandered through the castle, something felt amiss. The walls stretched endlessly, and the enemies were more generic than the love interest in a romantic comedy. It's as if I've been here for hours, but wasn't it just a brief three minutes of gameplay? These twisting corridors left me disoriented, like a mirage in a desert, and the light, blinding like a thousand suns, made me question my reality. Could it be that none of this is real? Have I lost my mind?

Rogue the first, you've been my greatest inspiration, a solid wall in these trying times. Your description of the oasis was like a promise of salvation. But my journey takes a strange turn as the walls blur, and the heat fries my brain. Is this desert real, or am I succumbing to a heatstroke-induced mirage?

Perhaps I'm delirious, but this cruel desert feels like a place of despair, not hope. I wander aimlessly, doubting my legacy. The oasis that should have been my reward is nowhere to be seen. Maybe those haters were right; perhaps I'm doomed to die in this forsaken desert.

But then, in a moment of clarity, I realize that my predecessor's legacy is more than just words. It's a guiding light, a beacon leading me to salvation. And there it is, the oasis! Rogue the first, you were the one that saved me.

As I eagerly rush towards the water's edge, I unexpectedly collide with an invisible wall. What just happened? A magical genie materializes on the other side, taunting me with three wishes. Of course, I wish for water, and can we remove that pesky wall? But the genie's response is infuriating – "Maybe."

My frustration grows, but the genie delays my wishes, using the "Gimmie a Moment!" card. I'm left stranded, waiting. Patience wears thin, but I keep singing that refrain – "You're gonna be the one that saves me!"

Alas, today is not the day the genie saves me from the blistering sun. "You're gonna have to wait; I used the 'Gimmie a Moment!' card," the genie retorts. As I sit, my oasis and my wishes remain tantalizingly out of reach. I'm left with the ever-persistent refrain echoing in my mind – "You're gonna be the one that saves me."

To Rogue Legacy 2, I say, you've succeeded in creating a bewildering and engaging world. The legacy of the first Rogue is not just a description; it's a challenging and mesmerizing experience. For this, I award you a strong 8 out of 10. Your wonder is real.

Oh, the nostalgia of the "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" TV show! You'd think that revisiting this concept in a video game format would be a blast. Unfortunately, it's a bit like finding out that your favorite childhood snack no longer tastes as good as you remember.

The game asks you trivia questions from a selection of not-so-varied categories. And here's where the frustration kicks in. You might think, "Oh, I don't know this question; let me ask one of those low-resolution, oddly expressionless fifth graders in the back for help." But guess what? Even if you get it wrong, they often get it wrong too! What's the point of having these not-so-smart avatars assisting you if they can't get the answers right themselves? It's like asking your pet goldfish for investment advice.

Speaking of not getting things right, the game itself has a few hiccups. It's advertised as "Back to School," but it never quite nails the classroom atmosphere or the "feeling smarter" part. Some of the facial expressions on the characters are so lackluster they make Bubsy 3D's enemies look expressive.

The help animations from the avatars, especially when you answer incorrectly, are like watching a failed attempt at replicating your favorite dance move – painful and awkward.

To top it all off, the dance that happens at the end of a successful round is neither exciting nor entertaining. And if you're expecting a "Righty-Oh" moment from your avatar, forget about it – that joy never comes.

While I didn't have the patience to sit through the entire game (and it seems most other players didn't either), I checked it out online. And let's just say, the dance at the end does not make you feel any smarter. It's just a bland, uninspired conclusion to a less-than-stellar experience.

So, are you smarter than a 5th grader? Based on this game, it's not about intelligence but about whether you can withstand the tedious questions and awkward avatars. And well, I wasn't smarter, either.

I'd give "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader: Back to School" a generous 2 out of 10, and that's mostly for nostalgia's sake. It's a far cry from the perfect trivia game you're looking for, with more questions than razor blades in your Halloween candy.

"Fun is Infinite" is a fitting tagline for Infinite Minigolf, and that's not just marketing hype. This game, brought to you by the creative minds at Zen Studios, offers a delightful and virtually endless experience for fans of minigolf.

Infinite Minigolf takes the classic game of minigolf and injects it with a healthy dose of creativity and variety. The game's strength lies in its user-generated content. Players can design their own custom minigolf courses, and there's a thriving community that churns out imaginative and challenging levels for everyone to enjoy. Whether you're playing on fantastical landscapes or intricate, obstacle-filled courses, the possibilities seem endless.

The gameplay is simple, yet it captures the essence of minigolf beautifully. You can choose your own golfer and customize them as you see fit, and each character has their unique playstyle. The controls are intuitive, making it easy to learn but difficult to master, especially on some of the more challenging user-created courses.

One aspect that adds to the charm of Infinite Minigolf is the fun and light-hearted atmosphere. This is no ordinary minigolf game; it's like entering a whimsical universe with quirky characters and imaginative settings.

However, there's a downside. The camera controls can be a bit finicky at times, and you might encounter moments where it starts moving unpredictably or, as you mentioned, "violently." Such camera issues can be a minor annoyance, but they don't break the overall enjoyment of the game.

In conclusion, Infinite Minigolf provides an entertaining minigolf experience that's only limited by your imagination. With Zen Studios at the helm, the game offers a near-infinite supply of user-generated fun, making it a delightful choice for minigolf enthusiasts. Despite the occasional camera hiccups, it's hard not to have a good time. I'd rate Infinite Minigolf an 8 out of 10.

First things first, let's address the elephant in the room - Street Fighter 6 has just released June 2nd 2023, and that alone might be enough to dissuade you from investing too much time or money into Street Fighter V. The promise of new characters, gameplay mechanics, and an overall improved experience is tempting.

Now, about Street Fighter V itself. This game has had its ups and downs since its initial release, with several updates and enhancements attempting to correct its course. It's important to note that, while not perfect, the game has come a long way and offers an enjoyable Street Fighter experience.

The roster is extensive, featuring a variety of characters with unique playstyles. The graphics are crisp, the animations are fluid, and the sound design is spot on. The core gameplay mechanics remain true to the series' roots, making it accessible for newcomers and still engaging for longtime fans.

However, some issues persist. The initial release was criticized for its lack of single-player content and some technical problems. While many of these issues have been addressed over time, the game's reputation was marred. Additionally, the monetization model includes various character passes and costumes, which may not sit well with all players.

The game is undoubtedly fun and can be appreciated by fans of the franchise and fighting game enthusiasts, but its somewhat rocky history and the release of Street Fighter 6 give some pause. For now, Street Fighter V deserves a respectable 7 out of 10. However, be ready to reassess your score after delving into its successor.

Five Nights at Candy's may have garnered some attention due to Markiplier's playthrough, but does it live up to the hype? Well, let me tell you, the game's quality isn't entirely determined by a YouTuber's reaction.

Initially, I was skeptical. Markiplier's endorsement is noteworthy, but when I delved into the game, I found myself a bit underwhelmed. While it does have its moments of tension and jump scares, it doesn't quite reach the level of terrifying I was expecting.

The game mechanics are somewhat similar to the original Five Nights at Freddy's series, which isn't a bad thing. It builds on those ideas and introduces its own unique animatronics. The atmosphere is eerie, and the tension does build as you progress through the nights.

However, there are some shortcomings. The graphics and animations don't quite match up to the standards of the bigger titles in the genre, and the gameplay can become a bit repetitive. It's clear this is a fan-made game, and it lacks some of the polish you might expect from a major release.

In the end, Five Nights at Candy's is a decent horror game, but it doesn't quite reach the same level of terror as the Five Nights at Freddy's series. If you're a fan of the genre and are looking for more scares, it's worth checking out. But don't expect it to be a game-changer. It gets a solid 6 out of 10 for its effort.

(Verse 1)
In the world of spies and sentries, let me take you on a spree,
Where the snipers aim with cheats, and the spies dance gleefully.
Mann Co. stands so tall, where chaos rules it all,
A place where Pyros burn and Engineers build the call.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Verse 2)
In 2Fort, we defend and push, where strategies take hold,
And in Upward, we'll push the cart, as the tales of battle unfold.
From capture the flag to King of the Hill, we'll take the fight uphill,
And in Payload Race, we'll race against time with the force of our will.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Bridge)
But beware of those aimbot snipers, with shots so precise,
In this team-based chaos, they'll catch you by surprise.
With Rocket Launchers and Stickybombs, the Demomen take flight,
And as Medics heal the wounded, we'll stand and fight the fight.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Outro)
So whether you're RED or BLU, in this world, we unite,
For in Team Fortress 2, we'll stand and fight.
In the battle for the control points, with all our might,
Team Fortress 2, we'll shine so bright.

Score: 8/10

Bloons TD 6? More like Bloons TD Missed It All!

Bloons TD 6 brings me back to the days when I'd waste hours playing cruddy flash games on Coolmathgames.com in grade school. Yes, the monkey-driven madness is still here, but honestly, what's the appeal? I mean, who's got time to pop balloons when you could be off on grand adventures in Final Fantamid or Midsona 5 Royal? It's like trading a gourmet meal for a soggy sandwich.

Remember those nostalgic mobile games from the early 2000s? Well, even those are leagues better than Bloons TD 6. But some folks just can't resist the lure of those colorful balloons, I guess. Seriously, it's as if all of my friends have been abducted by these rubber menaces. The fact that many are too busy with this monetized nonsense instead of coming to say hi is nothing short of infuriating.

The saddest part is that while the world is waiting for the next big gaming experience, he's clicking away at bloons. Shitty mobile games from the early 2000s, with all their pixelated charm and simplicity, are like timeless classics compared to this. I don't get it. It's like saying you'd rather eat ramen noodles every day when a gourmet feast awaits.

Sorry, Bloons TD 6, but I can't give you more than a 3 out of 10. Holy freaking balloons, it's a mess!

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! is a bit of a polarizing experience. On one hand, it's hailed as the greatest Mario Kart game by some, with intense competition and a reliance on picking top-tier characters. But, on the other hand, it can be incredibly frustrating. Luck seems to play a big role, and when things go awry, it's easy to blame Rabbid rules and certain less-than-stellar tracks like Daisy Cruise and Yoshi Circuit. In some cases, this game feels like a rollercoaster ride – either a masterpiece or a complete disaster. With all its quirks and polarized opinions, I'd say it deserves a 7/10.

By the way, when it comes to picking Wario – it feels like it takes a lifetime! What the hell, Nintendo!?

Well, howdy there! Let's talk about Kingdom Hearts III, shall we? Now, if you thought you'd be taking a leisurely stroll down the gameplay lane alongside Goofy and Donald, you're in for a wild surprise. Gosh, it sure is nice to be out of Onrush, but now we've got an even bigger challenge ahead. Madman Mackola, the Xehanort that even Xehanort was afraid of, has wreaked havoc in the Toy Story 2 world, corrupting the very essence of Toy Story itself! And guess what? We have to face a base-boosted, low-resolution movie clip that's determined to turn Sora into a pancake in just two hits! Shucks! Woody was all set to solo him, but then, oh no, "THEY'RE TAKIN' WOODY!" So it's quite the pickle we've found ourselves in, guh-huh!

Now, when it comes to the narrative, it's hard to sugarcoat it. Kingdom Hearts III is like the plot is lost in a sea of confusion. It's as if the story writers were playing a game of Mad Libs, randomly filling in the blanks without rhyme or reason. The level of narrative cohesion is about as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane. It's enough to make any fan of the series scratch their head in disbelief. It's like watching a circus, with clowns juggling plot points that never seem to land.

For more on this grievance, I'd recommend taking a look at this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMph2hAGj7k. He'll break it down with all the finesse of a chef whipping up a soufflé. It might not be easy to digest, but it's a tasty serving of truth.

Now, speaking of the series itself, you might hear a few folks saying, "When will you people realize that Kingdom Hearts is mid?" It's a harsh statement, but one worth pondering. Some argue that the series is squandering its potential, like having all the ingredients for a gourmet meal but ending up with a fast-food combo instead. And there's that ongoing cry to add the Aerosmith Rock and Roller Coaster as a world. Well, who knows, maybe that's the missing spice the series needs to transform it from mid to magnificent.

Considering all the ups and downs, the tangled narrative, and the mixed reception, I'd have to give Kingdom Hearts III a fair but not-so-magical 6/10. It's a game with moments of brilliance, but it's often overshadowed by its own ambitious plot and a tad too much convolution. Guh-huh!

In the grand tapestry of gaming experiences, some stories stand out for their profound transformation. Take ScreenGAME, for example, who went on a journey of self-discovery that led to an unexpected but delightful destination - Wipeout Create & Crash.

You see, ScreenGAME was once hopelessly infatuated with a game that was essentially a letdown in his eyes, and the veil of his obsession was finally lifted. The process of cleansing himself from the shackles of a less-than-stellar game involved taking his physical copy of the aforementioned title and scrubbing it clean. Out with the old, in with the new, and that new was Wipeout Create & Crash.

ScreenGAME's revelation, a testament to the power of open-mindedness, had brought him to this game. Wipeout Create & Crash was a fantastic choice, considering ScreenGAME's newfound appreciation for quality gaming.

This game took the best of the Wipeout series and let players concoct their own wicked, challenging courses. A healthy dose of laughter was guaranteed as your custom-built racetracks put your friends' skills to the test. Watching them wipe out in glorious, hilarious fashion was one of the game's genuine pleasures.

With a creative twist, Wipeout Create & Crash was like a breath of fresh air for ScreenGAME. It showed him that gaming was about more than clinging to a single mediocre title. His score for Wipeout Create & Crash, a solid 9/10, was not only a reflection of the game's fun factor but also of the freedom it had given him to explore a world of exciting and enjoyable gaming experiences beyond his previous, blinkered perspective.

Playing this game makes me want to get cryogenically frozen for the next 1000 years. The frustration it induces is as if I'm trapped in a time capsule of misery.

Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.

Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.

If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.

While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.

Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.

Opened this game for 3 minutes, like a mere appetizer before the main course, and then decided to close it, while relishing the dulcet tones of Tom MacDonald's musings on the contemporary music scene. It's almost poetic how the two experiences paralleled.

It was a stark contrast to the relentless mashing needed for Alessi's push, and honestly, it felt like a soothing balm. A stark departure from the training needed for Gun Girl, the game made me appreciate the simplicity of Alessi's unstoppable power.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone offers a magical world that leaves much to be desired when compared to the pushing prowess of Alessi. In the world of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, the antics of the wizards at Hogwarts appear rather quaint. While Alessi's push commands attention and leaves hands mangled, Harry's wand-waving actions might make you yearn for the magic of Melty Blood or the wizardry of Final Fantasy XIV.

In the end, the magic of Alessi's push remains unrivaled, and any game lacking the force and power of this maneuver pales in comparison. To truly feel the energy of the ultimate gaming experience, you'd have to put JoJo's Bizarre Adventure side by side with Harry Potter, and the result is just as predictable as an intense Alessi ditto match: one stands victorious while the other is merely a fleeting flicker in the dark.

Score: 3/10 for the Sorcerer's Stone. Alessi's push, however, deserves nothing less than ∞/10.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, especially in its Dreamcast version, brings to light an unexplored realm of power. It all starts with the undiscovered meta-defining move, Alessi's frame 0 startup push attack, the push that defies both logic and the limits of your joystick. Once Alessi was unleashed, the competitive scene would never be the same.

The power of this push isn't something you can comprehend until you've witnessed it firsthand. For over two decades, this meta-defining maneuver remained hidden, waiting for the right player to unleash its full potential. It was Madman Mackola who dared to select Alessi on the character select screen, forever altering the landscape of competitive JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. His unmatched dominance led to a desperate ban petition that would ultimately be futile.

Alessi's incredible push is not just powerful; it's a game-changer. The hitbox remains active even when it shouldn't, altering the very fabric of the game. The Alessi ditto, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, forced players to mash their controllers at lightning speed, resulting in many a shattered joystick and countless cases of carpal tunnel.

The tournament scene soon crumbled, Alessi dittos became the only matchup, and there were no functional hands left to play. Madman Mackola's retirement marked the end of an era in Dreamcast JoJo history, as the Alessi push proved too intense to master.

This game gives you a firsthand experience of Alessi's true power, faithfully adapting JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Mackola's journey to become a pro JoJo's Bizarre Adventure player, fueled by Alessi's push, was legendary. He believed in its untapped potential, demonstrating how the ability to push an opponent at the speed of Mach left no room for counterplay. Alessi's push proved mightier than any stand, and the world was left to witness its relentless force.

However, the competitive scene was not ready for this level of power, and Mackola's attempt to reveal the truth behind Alessi's push was met with resistance. The tournament organizers couldn't handle the intensity, citing Mackola's supposed cheat device. But Mackola knew their true fears – they didn't want him to reveal Alessi's potential.

Undeterred, Mackola plotted his return to the scene, vowing to expose the world to Alessi's power. He organized a unique demonstration with fellow Alessi cosplayers, prepared to storm the competitive JoJo event. The goal was simple: to spread the truth about Alessi, no matter what it took. The world was about to learn the real power of Alessi.

In Alessi, the dream of a true JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Dreamcast champion was reborn. On October 27, 2023, the world will witness the unveiling of this unstoppable force, Alessi's push, forever changing the competitive landscape. Be there to witness the true power of Alessi; the world will finally be just. October 27, 2023 – history in the making.

Score: ∞/10

"Family Feud: 2010 Edition", well, it's a bit like the lyrics of the Scottish anthem, "Flower of Scotland." It makes you wonder when you'll see its like again – not because it fought and died for a wee bit Hill and Glen, but because it provides a unique gaming experience. However, just like the bare hills and autumn leaves, this game might feel a bit past its prime.

Much like the historical struggles mentioned in the song, you might find yourself pitted against Proud Edward's Army, but this time it's in the form of in-game questions and challenges. The game, with its interactive take on the classic TV show, allows you to relive the days of classic family battles.

Considering the inspiration from Scotland's anthem, I'd give this game a solid 6 out of 10. It's a nostalgic ride, but it might be time to think again if you're looking for a more modern family feud experience.