Desert Bus is a game that has you holding down one button for a really, really, really long time.
That's it. That's the game.
Oh, but you also can't just put a weight on a button and call it a day, you have to constantly steer it so it doesn't go offroad.
Well, it's a shitty game that was made shitty on purpose. Go figure, right?

Colorblindness Rating: A
Good news, the pain of this game can be shared even to the colorblind.

Don't bother with this game, just go play something else.

Mastered for RetroAchievements (again - did a couple subsets this time). Still the greatest game ever made, still will never get tired of playing it. Super happy all the subset stuff exists on RA because there are some actually difficult challenges on there that I really enjoyed. SSL reds without wing cap, WMOTR green demon, and all the A button challenges stand out as particularly interesting and fun. The other subsets left, speedrun showcase and lazy Lakitu (which force fixed cam from spawn) seem like they're on a whole other level and I can't wait to try them out, but that'll be in the future.

After 10 hours, I simply cannot physically continue with this game.

Persona 1 might be the worst game I have ever played in terms of gameplay. It's just unbearable. The battle system is tedious, but I can get over it. What I can't forgive is the dungeon crawling. It's just bad. Downright horrendous. As much as I want to continue this game, I simply can't. The game is great in other aspects, though. The plot and characters are great. Shoutout to my girl Maki! And as usual, Shoji Meguro delivered a god tier soundtrack.

It really sucks that the amazing artistic side of this game is brought down by how horrendous the technical side of it is. It makes me really sad to drop this game, because I want to play all of the Persona games, but I just can't go on with this. I hope to come back to this eventually, but I'm not sure.

Ocarina of Time was my first game in the Zelda franchise. Not this version tho, Ocarina of Time 3D. I won't get into the details with that version, but I very much enjoyed it and wanted to play other games in the series. The same year, or the year after, my one uncle gave me his N64. I'm pretty sure there was only two games that came with it. Star Wars: Episode 1 - Racer and this game. Barely touched Star Wars at but OOT, well I already really enjoyed the 3D remake so I was excited to actually give the original a try. I loved it. At least I'm assuming I did, for some reason I replayed this version so many times back in the day..it became my most replayed game ever for a while. I memorized the entire game, every major bombable hole location, every gold skulltula. I don't know why I played this game so much but I think I ended up overplaying it to the point I started not loving it as much. With this Zelda marathon, I was able to replay this once again after not replaying it in like 10 years. Even now, I still felt some of those overplayed woes I had back then, but mostly in the early game. Even now, 90% of the collectables came right back to me. Even now, it was still fun playing this game and I still love it for getting me into Zelda and into other Nintendo games in general. This game is not perfect, and I do have some criticisms for sure, but this is an important game in regard to the history of gaming and an important game to me.

One of the best aspects of this game is its story and world-building in comparison to past games. The main plot is actually pretty similar to ALTTP. You are tasked with collecting 3 Spiritual Stones (pendants), have to obtain the Master Sword in the Temple of Time (the Lost Woods) and then you must awaken the seven sages (seven maidens) so you can destroy the barrier in Ganondorf's castle and defeat him. Very similar to ALTTP, except instead of traveling between the Light and Dark world, you must travel between the present and future. See, you actually start as young link but when you obtain the Master Sword, Link is sealed in it for seven years and becomes an adult. In terms of the story, this is much more interesting than the light and dark world was. The world changes around you as you travel to the future, and so do the characters. Speaking of them, this game is chalk full of em and they're way more interesting this time around. Link himself has way more personality than he ever did in past games. I still definitely prefer future iterations of him but he's solid here. Zelda is MUCH better here and actually plays a big part in the story. She has way more scenes and due to that and her Shiek persona, she's absolutely one of the best if not the best character in the game. Ganondorf is actually seen with his non-pig design here and there's a reason this game made his human form iconic. The sages, unlike the unnamed maidens, are actual characters here. Not just throughout their temples, you meet pretty much all of them as young Link throughout Hyrule and you help them out along the way. This helps in making them memorable and let me tell you they very much are. Whether it's your childhood friend Saria to the rough and tough Goron Darunia, they're all pretty different characters and again are actually characters this time around. The little side characters you meet in each location are memorable to as the dialogue they are given is translated much better. ALTTP I found to a decently plain and straight-forward English translation. Here tho, they like to be quirky and make a lot of the side characters say weird and interesting things which helps the world feel alive. Something else that makes the game feel alive is the many races that are found in this world. ALTTP had Hylians and Zora. Not only does OOT have those (and they're more fleshed out) it added Kokiri, Shiekah, Gerudo, Deku, and Goron's. All of these helps add to the world-building immensely. Something that would make the dialogue better in this version of the game is if you could skip to the end of single textboxes. You either have to read each one slowly or if you try to make it go faster, it skips to the very end of a set of textboxes. Majora's Mask fixed this and so did the 3DS remake, but I thought it was worth pointing out here because it can be a tad bit irksome.

The combat in this game is very different from ALTTP, simply because it's 3D now instead of 2D. This game introduces Z-Targeting. When you hold the Z button in front of an enemy, you will automatically target and face their direction the entire time. This is incredibly helpful and is almost needed with a game like this. Because this game is in 3D, this changes Link's moveset dramatically. You still swing your sword but now depending on your button inputs, you'll do different swings. You can do a vertical, horizontal swing and a jab. If you z target, have your sword out and press the a button, you do a jump attack. You can backflips, you can do side jumps. Link now auto-jumps whenever you go off a platform or a ledge. Just your basic move set is fun and imo more fun than 2D Zelda. This isn't even getting into other items like the hook-shot which had an amazing transition into 3D. That and the bow puts you into first person and it just works marvelously. The slingshot and boomerang puts you into like a over the shoulder third person view. Funnily enough, each set of items I mentioned are exclusive to each form of Link. Young Link can only use certain items and vice versa for Adult Link. Along with the enemies being more fun and interesting in a 3D environment, the combat in this game was improved from past games and it's honestly amazing for a game from 1998 and amazing for Zelda's first foray into 3D.

The overworld honestly is not the best, I think. It was their first 3D game, I'll cut them some slack but I don't care for Hyrule Field. The size was most certainly impressive back in the day, however now I just see it as wasted potential. It's pretty empty, not very interesting to look at and it's "secrets" are lame. Basically any secrets it has are holes under boulders or completely invisible holes you bomb to unlock. You can find these with the stone of agony but you need a rumble pak to even use it. Otherwise, you either have to randomly guess where they are like Zelda 1 or memorize where they, are after looking them up, on future playthroughs like I did. Wouldn't be much of an issue if some of them didn't have important stuff like gold skulltulas or a heart piece. Outside of that, you have a tedious big poe quest and a single NPC that's used in quest. Honestly if the secrets were just a little better, it was more visually appealing and there were a couple more NPC's, this main overworld, that's connected to every area, would be so much better to me. Honestly I feel like Majora's Mask fixed this issue with Termina Field, which is way better imo, but as it stands this is my least favorite part of the game imo. The area's connected to Hyrule Field are good however, Visually distinct and they have plenty of actually good secrets and collectables to find. However, actual side quests in this game aren't too great imo. The Biggoron one is memorable, but all the others aren't too great imo and are very much overshadowed by Majora Mask's fantastic side quests. Like there's literally a mask side quest where you have to obtain masks and sell them to NPC's. The reward isn't great, another mask, and it just reminds me of how MM handled its mask items way better. Tho alas, I should not be comparing it to a future game like that so I will stop.

My least favorite part of them game, besides Hyrule field, is young Link's portion. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad but the dungeons you go through don't compare to Adult Link's Temples. The Great Deku tree is a solid starting dungeon but it's also very simple. Same with Dodongo's Cavern and Jabu-Jabu's Belly. None of them are bad, they're just very simple compared to temples. Something that is great tho, and this applies to every dungeon in the game, is how visually distinct and memorable they are. 2D Zelda dungeons are great and all but they just don't compare to 3D ones. The type of stuff you can do in 3D dungeons can't be replicated in 2D ones. Jumping from the top of a tree and feeling the full depth of your fall as you land on a spider-web and bust through it due to gravity. Just can't work in 2D. I can see why people might prefer 2D ones tho. As long as they're well designed, they're usually more complicated and technically better "dungeons" where its easy to get lost. However, they lack the spectacle that I prefer in 3D ones. The first 3 young Link dungeons are very linear for example. They have puzzles ofc but it's hard to get lost in them unlike 2D ones. However, I don't mind that (tho in these first 3 dungeons case I guess I do cuz they're a bit TOO simple) and that's proven by the five temples in this game. Adult Link temples, while still probably more linear than some 2D Zelda dungeons, rock my socks. I'll just get into this now, Water temple is not bad. It was my least favorite temple this playthrough, but it's not bad..just can be a little tedious. It's the most complex and backtracky dungeon in the game, and feels kinda like a 2D dungeon but that's at the cost of being a little more tedious than the others (not only due to the design of the place but the iron boots ofc). It can be tough to figure out but I can apprecauet that. Fire temple is also good but just doesn't stick out as much as the other three. Shadow has a very disturbing atmosphere and relies on tricks and traps. Forest and Spirit temple are easily the best dungeons in the game. Forest is very atmospheric and is a very nicely designed dungeon with a great temple theme. Spirit temple is the only one to make use of both young and adult Link, and it does it well, as well as having the best dungeon boss in the game. Not every dungeon in this game is like amazing, but when it hits..IT HITS. Oh also the dungeon bosses vary in quality. Twinrova is the best boss in the game I think. She makes great use of the mirror shield and the witch sisters have actual dialogue and are actual characters that make the boss that much better. Phantom Ganon is cool as well and Ganondorf/Ganon himself is ofc badass. There are some weaker bosses like King Dodongo being piss easy or Morpha being very easy to cheese, however even these weaker bosses are cool to see now that the games in 3D.

Quick thing on the visuals. They don't look bad but they can be a bit ugly at times. Obviously, this is a game from 1998, so I can let it slide somewhat. I played on an actual N64 so the resolution and framerate are pretty bad. They had to be to even run this game at the time, so with knowledge of that and how the game looks its impressive. Still, I know I'd say I wouldn't compare it to Majora's Mask again...but that game is on the same system and looks way more vibrant to me. I know it's using the expansion pass but still..

The soundtrack is absolutely iconic. ALTTP is where Zelda's Lullaby originated, howevrr this version is way more iconic to me. Same with Kakariko Village tho I honestly might like ALTTP's version of it hehe. As for original songs, Lost Woods, Song of Storms, Gerudo Valley, Lon Lon Ranch are all bangers and are super duper iconic for good reasons. The Ocarina songs are all really good, and I actually like how the Ocarina plays a much bigger part in this game compared to the last two games it was in. My absolute favorite song in the game funnily enough, is Requiem of Spirit. Always has been, always will be. Something about it is kinda eerie yet mysterious. It's such a short song yet it's my favorite, idk why lol.

I was honestly very conflicted while playing this. Due to my complaints with Hyrule field/sidequests and me overplaying this game back in the day, part of me wanted to keep this at an 8. However, this game really was important in expanding my taste in games and is just an important landmark of a game in general. What really pushed me to bump it to a 9 though, was the ending. I've already seen it before, but I teared up. Not just teared up, I actually started to cry a bit. I don't know if it's just because the ending is very sweet and emotional, or because it reminded me the days I'd used to play this game a ton (insert anology of how I longed for my days of being a child just like Adult Link does at the end of the game or something idk). Either way, yeah I'll bump it to a 9. Game's not perfect but it is awesome, that's all that needs to be said.

I'm going to play Katamari Damacy after this and then move on to my personal favorite Zelda, Majora's Mask. Look forward to those reviews in the near future!

Every once in a while I will get bored and play something off the wall. I got on the ole Switch and updated all of the retro systems since it had been a minute since I had. I flipped around through games for a minute bored and hovered over this atrocity of a cover art. I chose what I assumed would be a bad choice and booted up the game.

The first thing we get to do is pick our head…uhh character. By character I mean an Iguana head, a clown..? head, a Jack-o-lantern, or other equally stupid heads. Now that you’re a head of some sort it’s time to race… vertically. How vertically I hear you asking? Well you roll on a platform until you are under another platform and then somehow jump, even though you’re just a head, and use your tounge to grab the platform above you to vault you up. That’s it that’s the game. Oh but you also get to do it to some of the most sinful graphics and horrific sounds (I don’t dare consider it actual music) if all time. The fact this game is rated above a 2.5 is unbelievably to me.

Don’t play this unless you want to punish yourself.

I’ll save you time. It’s last on the list.

https://www.backloggd.com/u/DVince89/list/games-i-played-in-2024-ranked-1/

[guy who hasn’t played any adventure games besides Disco Elysium] Hmm...getting a lot of "Disco Elysium" vibes from this...

I think Stasis: Bone Totem is something of a victim of its own fan base. While I try not to let other peoples’ opinions of games influence my own, it’s impossible to fully deny that something getting wall-to-wall praise is going to set my expectations high. I’ve scarcely heard a single bad word said about any aspect of this besides the AI art that it launched with, and that all got patched out. This has a steep enough rating curve to suggest that it’s phenomenal. And while Stasis: Bone Totem is definitely good, I think that’s about all that it manages to be. This isn’t the earth-shaker that was promised. But hell, what is? We can’t all be juggernauts. There’s hardly anything wrong with only being good.

It’s not difficult to see why people love this game as much as they do. It has an interesting world, interesting characters, wonderful audio design, and a truly impressive pre-rendered graphical style on the interactables that hearkens back to old CD-ROM adventure games. I would die for Moses, but he wouldn’t want that for me. The relationship that he develops with Faran is far and away the juiciest piece of meat that the game asks you to sink your teeth into. Calaban is a distant second, though he’s still enjoyable; the irony is that the married couple seem to have the least chemistry out of anyone aboard this abandoned ship. I definitely think that the game tries to lean a bit too hard into crafting arc phrases that get repeated over and over and over again — every character independently thinks to themselves that "all you need to do is blink" for something to change — but there's a charm to it. Again, it's carried hard by Moses. He's a simple bear, but he's got a good soul. There's something deeply upsetting about a childish AI struggling to deal with feelings of loss and grief that it wasn't built to understand that could (and probably should have) carried this entire game by itself. I mostly just wanted everyone else to stop talking because they were taking up valuable screen time that otherwise would have gone to Moses and Faran, who remain two of the greatest homies to ever hang out on the bottom of the ocean floor.

While I liked the dialog, the narration prose gets on my nerves. Olga Moskvina is credited as the sole writer for the environmental descriptions — knowing that she worked on Disco Elysium before Stasis: Bone Totem is nothing short of shocking, seeing how steeply the writing quality has declined from that game to this one. A friend of mine spent several evenings trying to cope with the fact that Michael Kirkbride wrote Immortals of Aveum, and all of the laughter I directed at him has now rocketed back to me at double the velocity. How do you fall off this hard? This fiercely? I was convinced that it was all being written by someone who had never written before, not by a co-writer of one of my favorite pieces of media ever released.

Ten-dollar words are everywhere in every little green blob, covering them like smallpox blisters. So much of the vocabulary here feels almost as though it was destroyed in the editing stage by someone doing right-click thesaurus swaps on every other word. I feel like I'm reading something that was put together solely to flex the author's new English-to-Lovecraft translation program. Even the most boring of objects are "eldritch", or "Stygian", or "noctilucent", or any other archaic-ass word that doesn't quite mean what the writer seems to think they do. An emptied suitcase isn't an empty suitcase, it's "disemboweled". A film on top of water isn't an oily film, but an "odorous waxy complexion". Even when you are looking at something that's meant to be horrifying, the prose mostly just makes me roll my eyes; a cesspit of blood and bodies is described as a "thickening grume-river of congealed blood and matted offal [which] incites bubbles that vomit up distressing fetors of deep decay". Perhaps the worst of the lot is the simple statement that a bench "broadcasts discomfort". Ugh.

A big part of what I liked about Disco Elysium was the fact that it used some remarkably simple prose to convey some very heavy topics. It was as accessible as it was powerful. Similarly, a big part of what I liked about The Devil's Imago was that it knew when to invoke the sublime and when to dial it back; that which was beautiful was described as though it was beautiful, and the mundane was described as mundane. Disco Elysium was broadly simple, and The Devil's Imago was broadly complex, but neither of those works pigeon-holed themselves into being all of one or all of the other. There's nothing wrong with being straightforward as much as there's nothing wrong with being oblique, but when you're garrulously invoking expressions and articulations absent the favorable junction of circumstances by which your inscriptions may abide — that is to say, when you're dropping endless strings of big, fancy words without giving the rest of your writing a chance to breathe — it makes your work look amateurish.

I have to conclude that this is, ultimately, a directorial problem. I know that Olga Moskvina is capable of far better than what's here; I've read her poetry, and I've read her contributions to Disco Elysium. She's capable of some stunningly beautiful prose, and none of her other work falls into the overly-verbose trappings of the environmental descriptions in Stasis: Bone Totem. She writes with rhythm everywhere but here. The original Stasis had a similar problem — provided you consider any of what I've complained about here to be "a problem" — which only furthers my belief that she was encouraged to mangle her writing to make it fit into this universe. It's as if she was told to make it more gross every time she submitted a draft. This is like how potato chips were invented. Fifth tit revision in a row.

It's here that I realize that I've dedicated about six hundred words purely to Olga Moskvina's incidental descriptions and that there are other aspects of the game worth discussing. A decent pivot would be to say that this devolves into being tonally all over the place by the end of the game. Moses and Faran both die at the same time, with Faran succumbing to the loss of his life support, and Moses tearing himself in half to get the rescue suit to his humans. We're treated to a cutscene where Mac cries the Tear of the Goofy Goober over the sound of tinkling piano keys. He then rips the medkit off of the support suit that Moses died to retrieve and triumphantly states "Hmph! Medical kit retrieved!" not even five seconds later. He's back to sighing and rolling his eyes at the Russian ghost in his brain while Charlie lays dying of ancient parasites not ten feet away, so it's good to know that there's nothing so serious as to stop Mac from looking to camera like Office Jim whenever he discovers a new world-shattering revelation. Stone Age island-dwelling molepeople sank to the bottom of the ocean where they founded Latin American Atlantis and are currently preparing to re-invade the surface world, and Mac mostly just seems annoyed by the whole affair. Hell, Mac, I feel you. I can't pretend like this isn't stupid either.

Ultimately, Stasis: Bone Totem is good. I just can't shake the feeling that something is missing. Looking at all of the pieces individually, I feel like this should all work together; you assemble them into a singular work, and it feels like it's less than the sum of of its parts. Maybe that's wrong. It might be that the parts themselves failed to live up to their own potential. In the places where this had every opportunity to be a slam dunk, it instead manages only to drop in a lay-up, and the two points you get from the latter aren't worth the same two points you get from the former. Nobody's ever made a highlight reel worth watching comprised of just finger rolls.

I got the transcendence chip so that my immortal soul can go to the Nexus, sponsored by Walmart.

Dynamite Headdy is a very mixed bag with some things I loved and thing I hated. Ending in a game that I felt extremely mid about.

As always, I'll start with the positives. Far and away the star of the show is the visuals and music. Not that I have a long library of Genesis games I've played but it may be the best mix of visuals and music. The colors pop on every level and every character and just visually a marvel for the early 90's.
The gameplay is super simple but the way they take your simple move set and use it in complex ways through intelligent level design. The levels aren't just great but several of the levels have amazing names, with the first amazingly named level of Toyz in the Hood.

While the level design ideas were awesome the gameplay is extremely basic. The upgrades are also very basic with most fights leaving you wanting more variety. Except for the few times the do give you variety which ends up being awful. What I mean by that is most of the time you or the enemy is standing still giving you time to aim and fire your head in one of 8 directions to hit them. Well sometimes the enemy is either moving way to fast to both aim and dodge. Or even worse the enemy grabs you flailing you around where you have to aim your head at the enemy while it's moving and you're moving (against your control) and trying to aim your head while that's all going on. It's annoying, infuriating at times, and extremely stupid in my humble opinion. I do think the difficulty is unbalanced, as sometimes it was a breeze to run through a level or boss and sometimes the bosses were insane with balancing dodging and attacking.

Overall, I think it's a fine game. I could easily see someone saying the love it but I could also see reasons people may hate it. If the gameplay was a little different I feel I would probably rate this game much higher.

My 2024 rankings:

https://www.backloggd.com/u/DVince89/list/games-i-played-in-2024-ranked-1/