Macklemore
Game spoiled me on Sonic Frontiers. I could never forg
ive it.
RIP Sonic, can't wait for Easter until you resurrect (3 days from now)
ive it.
RIP Sonic, can't wait for Easter until you resurrect (3 days from now)
2012
I was going to write a genuine review of this game where I nitpicked every single thing I hated, and I was writing these things down as I played the games. This game has so many things that are a problem and make playing the game the single most abysmal thing you could do with a friend. I like how you have the option to play this with a random dude using the power of the World Wide Web to connect you guys, as if this game could ever be enjoyable with the random temperature level IQ caveman that usually plays online games.
And then I got to the Ada campaign with my friend. And I turned into Agent. And I was as much of a presence in the game as Ada's farts were in her underwear. And I realized how nobody cared while making this game. So what's the point of even highlighting the bad things if they simply didn't give a fuck😎.It was awesome, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
And then I got to the Ada campaign with my friend. And I turned into Agent. And I was as much of a presence in the game as Ada's farts were in her underwear. And I realized how nobody cared while making this game. So what's the point of even highlighting the bad things if they simply didn't give a fuck😎.It was awesome, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
1998
>land on speeding tile
>i AM the policeman
>smile
>win the game with 1 trillion dollars in the bank
how could i be mad?
>i AM the policeman
>smile
>win the game with 1 trillion dollars in the bank
how could i be mad?
1994
This has a bit of a drop off at the Circus Stage, but then it picks up with the Ice Stage. I genuinely think the Circus Stage puts this on a low level for me, even though the rest of the game was insanely enjoyable. Kinda sucks how no boss can be hurt by the nuts, except for Bozo, that threw me for a loop. He's genuinely such a pain to fight without the nuts.
It's nice to know that Satan nor Death couldn't kill me, but I got 3 shot by a Golgoth Guard.
1999
There are too many characters and items. Too many items!!!! Who are some of these characters??? Why is there a floating star in the game? Do they not know that Mario is a game about jumping on bricks? Who the hell is this purple man??? Too many characters on some of these levels...
I do love the fighting. But damn too many items!!!!
I do love the fighting. But damn too many items!!!!
1986
My first impressions of this game was the fact that it was so much better than Megaman when it comes to its shooting and jumping, which felt much smoother, but goddamn is the layout for where you need to go retarded. I will complete it one day, just don't care enough to at the moment.
Hinako Shijou... that's a wife like character.
This game SUCKS the moment you hit the final boss. I used the infinite life glitch by killing myself twice on zero lives (this works through underflow), and I feel nothing but pure greatness leaking my body due to it.
This game sucks ass. You need to pick up the web during the first level (why the fuck didn't they just give Spider-Man the web in the first place), you have 3 continues but if you die even once before the 5th level (which is where you get web again,) you lose the web and you're left to fight with nothing but your shitty kick and punches that have insufferable range. Why not just give me no continues, cause clearly Spider-Man is just fucking shit without the web? No one knows. Definitely someone who thought this was a good idea. Kinda bonkers how people have good opinions of this game even though they know it's nothing but pure liquid shit deep down. Only good thing about this game is the fact that it's short so sooner or later you get an understanding of the level design and you know what to expect and when to expect it.
1991
This game fucks sucks. It's got everything about this type of game that I hate. Floaty controls, an "attack" that you have "control" of in the loosest sense of the word, shitty level designs that require no skill only luck. Sometimes your hand turns to Scooby Doo, there's a level where you get chased by a Gucci shoe (if you don't look at it while it's behind you it just explodes), there's a level where you're bothered by a gang of tiny He-Men, there's a level where you have to pray to Morgan Freeman, sometimes you just randomly start glowing and it starts snowing.
It fucking sucks.
It fucking sucks.
2011
This game is an insane improvement over the first one. I'd say skip the first one entirely if there wasn't a lack of Scarecrow in this one, but pretty much every single villain comes back from the first one in this one. Jonkler, Harley, Bane, Killer Croc, Riddler, even third rate wannabe slasher villain Zsasz. This game offers such an interesting look into the Batman Mythos, it's got a who's who of famous names and fits them all perfectly in the story (as if a city wide prison wasn't a good enough reason for these characters to appear in the game). I especially like the choice of giving Clayface and Hugo Strange such a prominent, story-important role in the game itself. Clayface might be someone who people recognize and enjoy from the animated series, but I don't think a single person looked at Hugo Strange and thought "wow, my favourite Batman villain finally made it to a game. Oh hell yes!"
Another thing that this game does well is that every boss fight has the characters fighting to their elements, it doesn't have the Joker shooting himself full of Bane-adjacent gunk to fight you as a hulking monstrosity. Hell, you don't even get to fight the Joker, not really anyway. And I didn't mind a single bit. Just like I didn't mind fighting the RIddler. The way they are used in the story just works. The combat also flows much smoother than Arkham Asylum, and the movement in general around the city cured me of the syphillis that the movement in Asylum gave me.
Playing as Catwoman really dragged me down, I will say. I liked how she played, but every time the story flashed to her I immediately just stopped caring about everything that was going on and started playing the game like a braindead Let's Player. It dragged down what could have possibly been the perfect Batman game, and instead it's the perfect Batman game & Knuck- Catwoman. Such a letdown.
Anyway; glad every woman you rescue and every woman you don't rescue in this game has her makeup smeared.
Another thing that this game does well is that every boss fight has the characters fighting to their elements, it doesn't have the Joker shooting himself full of Bane-adjacent gunk to fight you as a hulking monstrosity. Hell, you don't even get to fight the Joker, not really anyway. And I didn't mind a single bit. Just like I didn't mind fighting the RIddler. The way they are used in the story just works. The combat also flows much smoother than Arkham Asylum, and the movement in general around the city cured me of the syphillis that the movement in Asylum gave me.
Playing as Catwoman really dragged me down, I will say. I liked how she played, but every time the story flashed to her I immediately just stopped caring about everything that was going on and started playing the game like a braindead Let's Player. It dragged down what could have possibly been the perfect Batman game, and instead it's the perfect Batman game & Knuck- Catwoman. Such a letdown.
Anyway; glad every woman you rescue and every woman you don't rescue in this game has her makeup smeared.
1992
Shitty platforming games be like
1) We will give you health, but the things that kill you (pitfalls) will be instant and will have you rely on making leaps of faith which are the ways to progress the level. < ---- THIS IS SOUL AND NOT A SHAM
2) We will have a game that relies on movement have the movement be sluggish, sometimes not register (especially if you're on a slope), and have the movement take a literal year to come to a stop.
3) We will have famous cartoon character.. and people will pay for brand... not product... hehehe...
Only reason I'm giving this 1 star and not zero is cause it's apparently hard (?) and it gives me a sense of accomplishment for finishing it. Otherwise, it's terrible, it sucks and the people who made it need to
1) We will give you health, but the things that kill you (pitfalls) will be instant and will have you rely on making leaps of faith which are the ways to progress the level. < ---- THIS IS SOUL AND NOT A SHAM
2) We will have a game that relies on movement have the movement be sluggish, sometimes not register (especially if you're on a slope), and have the movement take a literal year to come to a stop.
3) We will have famous cartoon character.. and people will pay for brand... not product... hehehe...
Only reason I'm giving this 1 star and not zero is cause it's apparently hard (?) and it gives me a sense of accomplishment for finishing it. Otherwise, it's terrible, it sucks and the people who made it need to
Imagine playing a game called Buzz: Brain of Oz and being surprised when it sucks ass, you played yourself dawg
2003
This is actually an insanely good game held back by the fact that it has almost useless AI friends (I understand that they are there for ambience in theory, but if they won't actively shoot at things running past them, don't put them in the game to give me that false sense of reassurance) and shitty levels where you have to hold back an area (namely for the reason being the shitty AI allies). Still a fun experience for me though, so I can't be mad even though I was while playing it.