Marki
BACKER
One of my favorite games that I never want to play again. When I originally played Breath of the Wild, it was a truly special experience. The sense of exploration and discovery was unlike any game I had played prior. That first blind playthrough was something special, which is a double-edged sword. I usually don't replay games so that isn't something that would really affect me but this game sticks in my mind. Breath of the Wild does not hold up on subsequent playthroughs because you can only play a game for the first time once. However, I believe there is more to how I feel beyond that.
I jumped into each DLC as they came out but never finished them. With each DLC that came out, I was having an increasingly less enjoyable time. Maybe if I played them from the beginning of a fresh save file, things may have been different. But then that leads to the first problem of not being able to play the game blind again. The DLC doesn't feel like it should be played from an existing file, but to enhance a new playthrough. But enough about the DLC itself, whenever I jumped back in, the experience felt hollow and the things to do were tedious. These were feelings that I never felt in my initial 100+ hour playthrough of the base game.
These were all feelings that I felt in Tears of the Kingdom and made me look back on how I actually feel about Breath of the Wild. I have around 50 hours in Tears of the Kingdom and this feeling of hollowness crept in far sooner than its prequel. After the honeymoon phase wore off, I just felt bored with it; copy-pasted activities, Ubisoft towers, and resource gathering. All of these things that I criticize in other games, but I didn't criticize in Breath of the Wild. It made me reflect on Breath of the Wild and wonder how would I feel if I played it for the first time now.
Would I have gushed about it as much as I did when it was new, I don't know. Maybe the hype of getting a new console, that at the time was being scalped to high hell, carried my enjoyment, again I don't know. Another thing that is worth noting, is that this is the first Zelda game I finished. I played many prior but this was the first one to get me to finish, why? Again, I don't know, my feelings are so cloudy on this title. All I know is that Breath of the Wild is one of my favorite games that I never want to play again.
P.S. Weapon durability is fine, you're just too attached to some generic weapon that you'll replace in the next ten seconds.
I jumped into each DLC as they came out but never finished them. With each DLC that came out, I was having an increasingly less enjoyable time. Maybe if I played them from the beginning of a fresh save file, things may have been different. But then that leads to the first problem of not being able to play the game blind again. The DLC doesn't feel like it should be played from an existing file, but to enhance a new playthrough. But enough about the DLC itself, whenever I jumped back in, the experience felt hollow and the things to do were tedious. These were feelings that I never felt in my initial 100+ hour playthrough of the base game.
These were all feelings that I felt in Tears of the Kingdom and made me look back on how I actually feel about Breath of the Wild. I have around 50 hours in Tears of the Kingdom and this feeling of hollowness crept in far sooner than its prequel. After the honeymoon phase wore off, I just felt bored with it; copy-pasted activities, Ubisoft towers, and resource gathering. All of these things that I criticize in other games, but I didn't criticize in Breath of the Wild. It made me reflect on Breath of the Wild and wonder how would I feel if I played it for the first time now.
Would I have gushed about it as much as I did when it was new, I don't know. Maybe the hype of getting a new console, that at the time was being scalped to high hell, carried my enjoyment, again I don't know. Another thing that is worth noting, is that this is the first Zelda game I finished. I played many prior but this was the first one to get me to finish, why? Again, I don't know, my feelings are so cloudy on this title. All I know is that Breath of the Wild is one of my favorite games that I never want to play again.
P.S. Weapon durability is fine, you're just too attached to some generic weapon that you'll replace in the next ten seconds.
Penny's Big Breakaway commits to its vision very hard that it might push people away from it. Which I don't see as inherently bad, a game for everyone is a game for no one. I clicked with this game, I love how relatively demanding to chain moves while maintaining momentum and especially combos. I'm not saying that this game is some insurmountable cliff to play, but the learning curve is higher than what someone who just wants a casual jaunt through a cutesy world would expect. However, if you do get the hang of things, you will see how much this move set shines and how awesome you'll feel when maintaining a high combo. It's also a quite small set of moves but they flow into each and have purpose without making each other redundant.
I also really enjoyed the levels, nothing stood out to me as mind-blowingly memorably but nothing was bad. Although I did get frustrated during the space-looking world. Looked cool but my hairline went back a couple inches. Perhaps just a case of "mad-cuz-bad" but this was when I started encountering the jank. This game, at least at the time I played it, (patches seem to have tackled my problems), had a notable bugginess. Bugs weren’t common but they happened frequently enough to put a damper on things. I would fall into weird tumbles that would defy the laws of gravity and take away my control. I would have times where I don't ledge grab when I feel I should've and, on the flipside, I would grapple onto ledges but Penny would fail to pull herself up. A lot little issues that kept building up that took my enjoyment down a notch towards the ends of the game. I haven't jumped back into the game but I saw a patch note or two that mentioned fixes for the specific problems I ran into so you'll probably fare better than I did.
The aesthetics are very much up my alley. It gives me the same vibes of a Sega Saturn or Dreamcast game but with polished up visuals. It all feels like something Sega would make back in the day, which I guess makes sense since the devs are the Sonic Mania team. Although, I do have one major issue...
PENNY FOR GOD'S SAKE, KEEP THE DAMN HAT ON! No one wants to see your Founding Father looking-ass hair. Or maybe it's a wig, then that would change quite a lot. She would be one of three things, she's either high status, balding, or suffering from syphilis. Penny clearly isn't high status, she's just some nobody shlub street performer so that leaves us with the final two, balding or syphilis. Women typically don't go fully bald when suffering hair loss. Female pattern baldness is fairly common though. Penny isn't given an age but aesthetics and impressive acrobatic ability would suggest she is fairly young so age likely isn't a factor. The other two culprits of female pattern baldness would be issues regarding a particular hormone, dihydrotestosterone, and genetics. However, these are both things we can't really answer without more information on Penny herself.
That leaves us with one final possibility, syphilis. One symptom of syphilis when left untreated is baldness. During the late 16th century, syphilis became one of worst epidemics to strike Europe. Being bald during these times were considered "hella cringe" by the people of the era so wigs became the "solution" to hiding your syphilis since proper treatment didn't exist at the time. The wigs were also powdered to hide the stench of one's effectively decaying head. Powdered wigs became a sign of status during the mid-17th century when then King of France, Louis XIV, suffered from baldness. Louis wanted a bougie-ass wig and hired 48 wigmakers to save him from being considered some bald loser. Other nobility also followed in Louis XIV's footsteps and got themselves fancy powdered wigs to hide their decaying smelly heads. This led to an increase in wig prices making wigs a way to flaunt wealth and show status which is where the term bigwig originates from. Wigs also happened to be good for dealing with lice since it's easier to take off and boil a wig than delousing from hair attached to your head.
So, my theory is that Penny has severe syphilis which is why she wears both a wig and a hat to serve as a dual-layered shield against the eyes of the masses. She also probably purchased this style of wig with the pittance of money she makes being some no-name street-performer to appear as high class, to appear as a somebody...
Or maybe she just has a terrible taste in hairstyles.
I also really enjoyed the levels, nothing stood out to me as mind-blowingly memorably but nothing was bad. Although I did get frustrated during the space-looking world. Looked cool but my hairline went back a couple inches. Perhaps just a case of "mad-cuz-bad" but this was when I started encountering the jank. This game, at least at the time I played it, (patches seem to have tackled my problems), had a notable bugginess. Bugs weren’t common but they happened frequently enough to put a damper on things. I would fall into weird tumbles that would defy the laws of gravity and take away my control. I would have times where I don't ledge grab when I feel I should've and, on the flipside, I would grapple onto ledges but Penny would fail to pull herself up. A lot little issues that kept building up that took my enjoyment down a notch towards the ends of the game. I haven't jumped back into the game but I saw a patch note or two that mentioned fixes for the specific problems I ran into so you'll probably fare better than I did.
The aesthetics are very much up my alley. It gives me the same vibes of a Sega Saturn or Dreamcast game but with polished up visuals. It all feels like something Sega would make back in the day, which I guess makes sense since the devs are the Sonic Mania team. Although, I do have one major issue...
PENNY FOR GOD'S SAKE, KEEP THE DAMN HAT ON! No one wants to see your Founding Father looking-ass hair. Or maybe it's a wig, then that would change quite a lot. She would be one of three things, she's either high status, balding, or suffering from syphilis. Penny clearly isn't high status, she's just some nobody shlub street performer so that leaves us with the final two, balding or syphilis. Women typically don't go fully bald when suffering hair loss. Female pattern baldness is fairly common though. Penny isn't given an age but aesthetics and impressive acrobatic ability would suggest she is fairly young so age likely isn't a factor. The other two culprits of female pattern baldness would be issues regarding a particular hormone, dihydrotestosterone, and genetics. However, these are both things we can't really answer without more information on Penny herself.
That leaves us with one final possibility, syphilis. One symptom of syphilis when left untreated is baldness. During the late 16th century, syphilis became one of worst epidemics to strike Europe. Being bald during these times were considered "hella cringe" by the people of the era so wigs became the "solution" to hiding your syphilis since proper treatment didn't exist at the time. The wigs were also powdered to hide the stench of one's effectively decaying head. Powdered wigs became a sign of status during the mid-17th century when then King of France, Louis XIV, suffered from baldness. Louis wanted a bougie-ass wig and hired 48 wigmakers to save him from being considered some bald loser. Other nobility also followed in Louis XIV's footsteps and got themselves fancy powdered wigs to hide their decaying smelly heads. This led to an increase in wig prices making wigs a way to flaunt wealth and show status which is where the term bigwig originates from. Wigs also happened to be good for dealing with lice since it's easier to take off and boil a wig than delousing from hair attached to your head.
So, my theory is that Penny has severe syphilis which is why she wears both a wig and a hat to serve as a dual-layered shield against the eyes of the masses. She also probably purchased this style of wig with the pittance of money she makes being some no-name street-performer to appear as high class, to appear as a somebody...
Or maybe she just has a terrible taste in hairstyles.
I decided to blitz through the entire Booster Course Pass now that it's all out, I feel whelmed. Now don't get me wrong, the value that you get out of this DLC is insane, doubling the track count of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. However, there is that poorly textured elephant in the room, everything looks so cheap. It is quite obvious that these tracks are just upscaled tracks from Mario Kart Tour. Due to that, all these courses stand out so much when compared to the base game. Quality does improve as the DLC waves go on, but they never meet the same standard as base tracks.
Track selection is also quite all over the place. These selections don't feel like a best of and more like they randomly selected tracks to include in here. Quite of few bland retro tracks like Toad Circuit and Sky Garden. Some tracks are even butchered like poor poor Coconut Mall. However, the original tracks from Mario Kart Tour, excluding most real-life locales, are pretty good; highlights being Yoshi's Island, Squeaky Clean Sprint, Rome Avanti, and Ninja Hideaway. The new characters are a nice bonus too, although characters don't really interest me anywhere near as new tracks. Although, I do really like wiggler returning from Mario Kart 7. They're so darn cute with their hunchback gamer posture while riding the wiggler bike and turning red when getting hit.
I overall enjoyed this DLC, it doesn't really bother me. I do appreciate that a lot of courses from Mario Kart Tour are being preserved in a Mario Kart with good gameplay. Especially, since we all know Mario Kart Tour will be rendered completely unplayable one day, such is the way of modern mobile games. My main takeaway after playing all of these tracks is that I just want a new Mario Kart. I've been playing Mario Kart 8 since it came out back on the Wii U and I'm just kinda sick of it at this point.
Track selection is also quite all over the place. These selections don't feel like a best of and more like they randomly selected tracks to include in here. Quite of few bland retro tracks like Toad Circuit and Sky Garden. Some tracks are even butchered like poor poor Coconut Mall. However, the original tracks from Mario Kart Tour, excluding most real-life locales, are pretty good; highlights being Yoshi's Island, Squeaky Clean Sprint, Rome Avanti, and Ninja Hideaway. The new characters are a nice bonus too, although characters don't really interest me anywhere near as new tracks. Although, I do really like wiggler returning from Mario Kart 7. They're so darn cute with their hunchback gamer posture while riding the wiggler bike and turning red when getting hit.
I overall enjoyed this DLC, it doesn't really bother me. I do appreciate that a lot of courses from Mario Kart Tour are being preserved in a Mario Kart with good gameplay. Especially, since we all know Mario Kart Tour will be rendered completely unplayable one day, such is the way of modern mobile games. My main takeaway after playing all of these tracks is that I just want a new Mario Kart. I've been playing Mario Kart 8 since it came out back on the Wii U and I'm just kinda sick of it at this point.
2021
Cruelty Squad is a very interesting game, one that I thoroughly enjoy but also feel somewhat sour on.
I love the art style, vomit on the screen that somehow ends up being cohesive when you actually play the game. Same thing with the vibes, the bleak and hyper-cynical capitalist hellscape where human life is worth less than the price of the organs. However, the game is very on the nose so it feels less like scathing commentary and more so a parody. The writing is also quite funny and fits with how absurd the game is. The music does suck though, it fits, but it just sounds like ass. The absurdity also extends to controls and game systems as well.
What is the reload button? If you said R then what were you thinking you buffoon, clearly it would be holding right-click and slamming your mouse downward you stupid idiot. R is logically the interact button. L-shift is aim-down-sights, swap weapon is C, and crouch is X. This is the way God intended man to play FPS games. To keep to wackiness going, there is not one, not two, but three different stock markets; one for actual company stocks, and the other two are for speculative biological investments, human organs and fish. I am a big fan of Balls Fish.
Levels are large and filled with multiple routes. You may even notice places that you can’t reach. That’s where bodily enhancements come into play. Ever felt like your appendix is just being a freeloader and not contributing enough, then why not make it a grappling hook. Why stop there, make your back and feet shoot gunk to jump and zoom around the place. Frickin’ absolve yourself in a flesh suit to be more protected but removing more than have of your visibility. The augments are all very thematic and some really shake up how you play the game, like the grappendix. The grappendix is one of the earlier augments that really shake up how you approach missions. You start off peaking around corners to get the jump on enemies, to flinging yourself to your target and finishing levels in less than a minute. There is one caveat though, why is everything so expensive. There is cheapo stuff, but it ranges from boring to making the game nigh unplayable, looking at you nightmare goggles.
If you want to truly experience Cruelty Squad, you have to grind for money. Which I guess fits the capitalist hellscape, but this is a game, and I want to have fun on a game. You don’t get paid relatively much for completing missions, so you’re forced to play the market. Playing the stock market is not something I enjoy doing, I want to be a Cruelty Squad employee not some wannabe stock trader. You can also grind for fish, especially a certain sewer dwelling fish, but again I want to play Cruelty Squad, not be a fisherman. It sucks that you have to go through menial garbage, just to open up the game. Also, the “final” level sucks. The best parts of the final level are the shortcut that skips the godawful block pushing puzzles with Gorbino from megahit Gorbino’s Quest harassing you and the ending. The rest of the level is fine, it’s just that terrible block pushing. Additionally, difficulty selection is overly convoluted, even for this game. If you’re confused how difficulty selection can be convoluted, then pay attention to the screen borders and you’ll figure it out soon enough.
Cruelty Squad is a truly absurd and strange game. I wish is didn’t feel as sour as I do on it, but I walk away from it thinking about how one of a kind and different it is. That alone elevates it to something special, even with my gripes. It is definitely worth experiencing firsthand.
I love the art style, vomit on the screen that somehow ends up being cohesive when you actually play the game. Same thing with the vibes, the bleak and hyper-cynical capitalist hellscape where human life is worth less than the price of the organs. However, the game is very on the nose so it feels less like scathing commentary and more so a parody. The writing is also quite funny and fits with how absurd the game is. The music does suck though, it fits, but it just sounds like ass. The absurdity also extends to controls and game systems as well.
What is the reload button? If you said R then what were you thinking you buffoon, clearly it would be holding right-click and slamming your mouse downward you stupid idiot. R is logically the interact button. L-shift is aim-down-sights, swap weapon is C, and crouch is X. This is the way God intended man to play FPS games. To keep to wackiness going, there is not one, not two, but three different stock markets; one for actual company stocks, and the other two are for speculative biological investments, human organs and fish. I am a big fan of Balls Fish.
Levels are large and filled with multiple routes. You may even notice places that you can’t reach. That’s where bodily enhancements come into play. Ever felt like your appendix is just being a freeloader and not contributing enough, then why not make it a grappling hook. Why stop there, make your back and feet shoot gunk to jump and zoom around the place. Frickin’ absolve yourself in a flesh suit to be more protected but removing more than have of your visibility. The augments are all very thematic and some really shake up how you play the game, like the grappendix. The grappendix is one of the earlier augments that really shake up how you approach missions. You start off peaking around corners to get the jump on enemies, to flinging yourself to your target and finishing levels in less than a minute. There is one caveat though, why is everything so expensive. There is cheapo stuff, but it ranges from boring to making the game nigh unplayable, looking at you nightmare goggles.
If you want to truly experience Cruelty Squad, you have to grind for money. Which I guess fits the capitalist hellscape, but this is a game, and I want to have fun on a game. You don’t get paid relatively much for completing missions, so you’re forced to play the market. Playing the stock market is not something I enjoy doing, I want to be a Cruelty Squad employee not some wannabe stock trader. You can also grind for fish, especially a certain sewer dwelling fish, but again I want to play Cruelty Squad, not be a fisherman. It sucks that you have to go through menial garbage, just to open up the game. Also, the “final” level sucks. The best parts of the final level are the shortcut that skips the godawful block pushing puzzles with Gorbino from megahit Gorbino’s Quest harassing you and the ending. The rest of the level is fine, it’s just that terrible block pushing. Additionally, difficulty selection is overly convoluted, even for this game. If you’re confused how difficulty selection can be convoluted, then pay attention to the screen borders and you’ll figure it out soon enough.
Cruelty Squad is a truly absurd and strange game. I wish is didn’t feel as sour as I do on it, but I walk away from it thinking about how one of a kind and different it is. That alone elevates it to something special, even with my gripes. It is definitely worth experiencing firsthand.
2023
Jusant is a great compact journey that sees you go on a daunting climb and tells a story about your journey and what befell the world, all without a single word of dialogue. That statement is technically true, but I would be remised if I didn’t elaborate on one element regarding its storytelling.
Jusant feels inspired by another game, Journey, that loosely follows a similar premise. You’re just a little dude dropped into a world with no context or explicit guidance, who goes from point A to point B. Additionally, all of the “narrative” is told through the environment, allowing you to ponder on what happened before you showed up and why you are making this journey. Except in Jusant, where it does heavily employ environmental storytelling, in addition to notes and log entries. As much as I would rather a game of this type to go all in on environmental storytelling, I can respect Jusant for providing greater depth to the world with these. However, these notes and logs litter your climb putting a halt to all exploration all too frequently. I believe notes and logs can work in a game such as this, if it weren’t used so abundantly. Luckily, that is my only major qualm with Jusant. The only other thing would be a minor nitpick about getting stuck on geometry when on foot. I never got softlocked and was never stuck for more than a second, but it happened frequently enough to be a little annoying.
Climbing in Jusant is very fun and satisfying. Maybe, there could’ve been more challenging parts of the climb, but Jusant is more than just a climbing simulator. The environments are gorgeous; I found myself standing around numerous times to soak in the sights and sounds. The environment also changes quite drastically from chapter to chapter, always keeping things fresh. With changes in environment, always brought a new mechanic to add a little wrinkle to climbing. Never anything that fundamentally shook up the gameplay but enough to keep you interested is continuing the journey up.
If you found Journey to be a magical experience and yearn for that feeling once again. Then Jusant may deliver that, in its own unique way. Happy Climbing!
Jusant feels inspired by another game, Journey, that loosely follows a similar premise. You’re just a little dude dropped into a world with no context or explicit guidance, who goes from point A to point B. Additionally, all of the “narrative” is told through the environment, allowing you to ponder on what happened before you showed up and why you are making this journey. Except in Jusant, where it does heavily employ environmental storytelling, in addition to notes and log entries. As much as I would rather a game of this type to go all in on environmental storytelling, I can respect Jusant for providing greater depth to the world with these. However, these notes and logs litter your climb putting a halt to all exploration all too frequently. I believe notes and logs can work in a game such as this, if it weren’t used so abundantly. Luckily, that is my only major qualm with Jusant. The only other thing would be a minor nitpick about getting stuck on geometry when on foot. I never got softlocked and was never stuck for more than a second, but it happened frequently enough to be a little annoying.
Climbing in Jusant is very fun and satisfying. Maybe, there could’ve been more challenging parts of the climb, but Jusant is more than just a climbing simulator. The environments are gorgeous; I found myself standing around numerous times to soak in the sights and sounds. The environment also changes quite drastically from chapter to chapter, always keeping things fresh. With changes in environment, always brought a new mechanic to add a little wrinkle to climbing. Never anything that fundamentally shook up the gameplay but enough to keep you interested is continuing the journey up.
If you found Journey to be a magical experience and yearn for that feeling once again. Then Jusant may deliver that, in its own unique way. Happy Climbing!
2019
Forager made me have an introspection on why I play games and my own mental health. Not because it is thought provoking or spectacular, it’s aggressively average. Which is why it spurred these thoughts.
I originally played Forager a little while back on the Nintendo Switch and walked away from it feeling like it was just another “numbers go up” type of game. Despite that, I for some reason got it again on PC. Honestly, I don’t know the reasoning for that or even if there was any.
I feel nothing while playing Forager, it just numbed me to my mind. For a little while, I’ve noticed that I’ve been playing less games, and the games that I do play are what I would describe as painkiller games. They don’t make you feel better or worse, but they do distract you from your life. Mostly, I’d watch YouTube and maybe play a painkiller game at the same time to occupy my free time. It demanded the least amount of engagement to “consume”, all but braindead. I even put many games that I had a genuine interest in and felt engaged with on the backburner, because I guess I felt it was “too much work”. Safe to say I didn’t have a healthy relationship with a lot of the media I “enjoyed”. Others take drugs and/or alcohol to numb themselves from their lives, and I found myself doing a similar thing with YouTube and painkiller games.
Forager helped me really acknowledge this behavior. I was always aware but never really thought about it head on. While playing, I just thought to myself, “What fuck am I doing playing this shit, I’m not having fun”. I grew sick of the monotonous and shallow gameplay, bland pixel art, and qUiRkY vibes. I wanted to feel something. Now I have dropped Forager and have to put the enjoy back into media ENJOYment. I have other problems in life more pressing than entertainment that I’ll be taking steps to deal with but that’s stuff I’d like to keep private.
Enough of the soapbox, now for the real question, does Forager suck big nuts and balls!?!?!?
No.
As I mentioned earlier it isn’t bad, just “aggressively average”. It’s inoffensive but does nothing to really stand out. It is satisfying, but it just fills you with unfulfilling boosts of dopamine. It feels nice to have large quantities of resources, unlock new skills/research, upgrade tools, etc. It’s addicting but not fun, and I really don’t want to play games like that anymore. I want to have fun, not just be mindlessly occupied. So, if you want to numb your brain then Forager is the game for you, if you value your sanity then you should consider holding off.
I originally played Forager a little while back on the Nintendo Switch and walked away from it feeling like it was just another “numbers go up” type of game. Despite that, I for some reason got it again on PC. Honestly, I don’t know the reasoning for that or even if there was any.
I feel nothing while playing Forager, it just numbed me to my mind. For a little while, I’ve noticed that I’ve been playing less games, and the games that I do play are what I would describe as painkiller games. They don’t make you feel better or worse, but they do distract you from your life. Mostly, I’d watch YouTube and maybe play a painkiller game at the same time to occupy my free time. It demanded the least amount of engagement to “consume”, all but braindead. I even put many games that I had a genuine interest in and felt engaged with on the backburner, because I guess I felt it was “too much work”. Safe to say I didn’t have a healthy relationship with a lot of the media I “enjoyed”. Others take drugs and/or alcohol to numb themselves from their lives, and I found myself doing a similar thing with YouTube and painkiller games.
Forager helped me really acknowledge this behavior. I was always aware but never really thought about it head on. While playing, I just thought to myself, “What fuck am I doing playing this shit, I’m not having fun”. I grew sick of the monotonous and shallow gameplay, bland pixel art, and qUiRkY vibes. I wanted to feel something. Now I have dropped Forager and have to put the enjoy back into media ENJOYment. I have other problems in life more pressing than entertainment that I’ll be taking steps to deal with but that’s stuff I’d like to keep private.
Enough of the soapbox, now for the real question, does Forager suck big nuts and balls!?!?!?
No.
As I mentioned earlier it isn’t bad, just “aggressively average”. It’s inoffensive but does nothing to really stand out. It is satisfying, but it just fills you with unfulfilling boosts of dopamine. It feels nice to have large quantities of resources, unlock new skills/research, upgrade tools, etc. It’s addicting but not fun, and I really don’t want to play games like that anymore. I want to have fun, not just be mindlessly occupied. So, if you want to numb your brain then Forager is the game for you, if you value your sanity then you should consider holding off.
2021
Very short, but very sweet. A very Zen and relaxing game about organizing junk after several moves. I love organizing, it’s very cathartic to me seeing everything go in its right place. That’s all you do in Unpacking; the name is quite accurate. However, it does something very special that pushes this game from good to great. It tells a story, not through text and dialogue, but through the process of unpacking itself. You learn about the person unpacking through where they live, what they own, and where they are allowed to place items. Not a single word spoken, but so much to learn.
2018
Just another alright LEGO game. I played the whole thing in co-op with a friend and had a decent time. I wouldn’t recommend playing this by yourself as I don’t believe it would’ve held my attention for its runtime if not for my friend. Best way I would describe this, is as a poor man’s LEGO City Undercover with superheroes.
The levels were par for the course and the roster felt like mostly filler. I’m really struggling with saying much because this is such a nothing game. It really is one of the videogames of all time. If you want to burn an afternoon or two with a friend then you could do far worse than LEGO The Incredibles.
The levels were par for the course and the roster felt like mostly filler. I’m really struggling with saying much because this is such a nothing game. It really is one of the videogames of all time. If you want to burn an afternoon or two with a friend then you could do far worse than LEGO The Incredibles.
2023
This review will be (mostly) ignoring discourse surrounding this game, and just covering the game’s contents.
The best way to describe Hogwarts’s Legacy is Open-World Game the Game. It does nothing interesting beyond look pretty. The world is very bland to explore beyond looking at the pretty graphics. It hits all the check boxes of a Ubisoft style open-world game. Just a bunch of copy and pasted mundane activities scattered all over the place and an out of place colored loot system. Boy I sure do love getting the exact same vest that I’m wearing but now the background is purple and the numbers are bigger. The world is not horrible but certainly isn’t anything that I would consider as good, beyond visuals. And these visuals are undermined, because even though I have a pretty beefy PC, it is a stutter fest. It’s been a while since I last played this game so maybe that’s been fixed, but that stuttering was unacceptable when I played.
Story wise, it’s nothing special as far as I remember. Again, it’s been a while, but I didn’t remember it being all that interesting. Something about a goblin uprising, it didn’t really do anything for me. However, I didn’t finish the game so what do I know; maybe it becomes the greatest story in all of gaming, but I doubt that.
Hogwarts Legacy make me feel like… an absolute dope. Using spells suck. Having to swap constantly between different spell sets is so cumbersome for both solving puzzles and doing anything near interesting in combat. Combat is where I mainly have issues in. It’s incredibly easy so you’re not incentivized to mix many spells in combos and very clunky if you want to try to do anything cool. You have to make multiple spell sets that you swap between on the fly which always interrupted the flow of combat. Additionally, utility spells and combat spells share space on the same sets. Meaning you’ll have to always be organizing and editing the sets and/or switching far more often. It’s also frustrating that you have to unlock additional sets, so you have to choose between an interesting upgrade or a quality-of-life feature that you should’ve already had. I’m sick of the word “sets”.
Hogwarts Legacy isn’t awful but quite mediocre. I honestly, really regret getting this game. I wish I could get the money back, because I really feel quite sour on it both as a game and ethical reasons. I’m rather uneducated on the whole controversy surrounding this game but feel bad that I may have inadvertently supported things that aren’t great. Oh well, you live and learn I suppose.
Additional note, I genuinely wonder why this game is so well received by “the masses”. I feel people often shit on this style of open-world but so many people absolutely adore this. I wonder what people see in this that I don’t, or maybe it’s just the Harry Potter IP carrying it. Or maybe I’m simply out of touch. Well enough of the rambling.
The best way to describe Hogwarts’s Legacy is Open-World Game the Game. It does nothing interesting beyond look pretty. The world is very bland to explore beyond looking at the pretty graphics. It hits all the check boxes of a Ubisoft style open-world game. Just a bunch of copy and pasted mundane activities scattered all over the place and an out of place colored loot system. Boy I sure do love getting the exact same vest that I’m wearing but now the background is purple and the numbers are bigger. The world is not horrible but certainly isn’t anything that I would consider as good, beyond visuals. And these visuals are undermined, because even though I have a pretty beefy PC, it is a stutter fest. It’s been a while since I last played this game so maybe that’s been fixed, but that stuttering was unacceptable when I played.
Story wise, it’s nothing special as far as I remember. Again, it’s been a while, but I didn’t remember it being all that interesting. Something about a goblin uprising, it didn’t really do anything for me. However, I didn’t finish the game so what do I know; maybe it becomes the greatest story in all of gaming, but I doubt that.
Hogwarts Legacy make me feel like… an absolute dope. Using spells suck. Having to swap constantly between different spell sets is so cumbersome for both solving puzzles and doing anything near interesting in combat. Combat is where I mainly have issues in. It’s incredibly easy so you’re not incentivized to mix many spells in combos and very clunky if you want to try to do anything cool. You have to make multiple spell sets that you swap between on the fly which always interrupted the flow of combat. Additionally, utility spells and combat spells share space on the same sets. Meaning you’ll have to always be organizing and editing the sets and/or switching far more often. It’s also frustrating that you have to unlock additional sets, so you have to choose between an interesting upgrade or a quality-of-life feature that you should’ve already had. I’m sick of the word “sets”.
Hogwarts Legacy isn’t awful but quite mediocre. I honestly, really regret getting this game. I wish I could get the money back, because I really feel quite sour on it both as a game and ethical reasons. I’m rather uneducated on the whole controversy surrounding this game but feel bad that I may have inadvertently supported things that aren’t great. Oh well, you live and learn I suppose.
Additional note, I genuinely wonder why this game is so well received by “the masses”. I feel people often shit on this style of open-world but so many people absolutely adore this. I wonder what people see in this that I don’t, or maybe it’s just the Harry Potter IP carrying it. Or maybe I’m simply out of touch. Well enough of the rambling.
1985
I used to always look back on Super Mario Bros. as antiquated and poorly aged. However, I decided to give it a proper shot this time, as before I'd always use save states and warp zones. This time would be different; play every level; no save states, not even for game overs; warp zones can only be used to get back to where I made it previously. Playing it this way took a game that I always believed was obliterated by the passage of time, and made me truly appreciate it.
This was honestly some of the most fun I had with a game in a while. Even through the multiple game overs I got, I was constantly having fun. I saw myself getting better and better after each failure, it felt great. Everything truly clicked when I saw myself consistently speeding through 4-1 without halting momentum, even against the piranha plants and flagpole stairs. Each run I'd get through tricky stages like 5-2 faster and consistently jumping off the springs in 6-4, I was always improving. Man... I now understand this game, and why so many look so fondly on it after all these years. Even then, I find it all so strange.
Super Mario Bros. has jank, levels are fairly basic compared to modern day platforms, the physics are strange (at first at least), etc. However, I believe that is what makes this game so special. Its simplicity it was makes it stand out to me, it's platforming at its purest.
I'm so glad that I gave this game another shot and to play it like how I view it is intended to be played. To others that write off this game as old and antiquated, give it another go, without all of the modern hand holding. Maybe you'll see something special like I did.
This was honestly some of the most fun I had with a game in a while. Even through the multiple game overs I got, I was constantly having fun. I saw myself getting better and better after each failure, it felt great. Everything truly clicked when I saw myself consistently speeding through 4-1 without halting momentum, even against the piranha plants and flagpole stairs. Each run I'd get through tricky stages like 5-2 faster and consistently jumping off the springs in 6-4, I was always improving. Man... I now understand this game, and why so many look so fondly on it after all these years. Even then, I find it all so strange.
Super Mario Bros. has jank, levels are fairly basic compared to modern day platforms, the physics are strange (at first at least), etc. However, I believe that is what makes this game so special. Its simplicity it was makes it stand out to me, it's platforming at its purest.
I'm so glad that I gave this game another shot and to play it like how I view it is intended to be played. To others that write off this game as old and antiquated, give it another go, without all of the modern hand holding. Maybe you'll see something special like I did.
2023
Mindless colors on the screen for when you and your friends start to share a single brain cell between each other.
I walk away from Red Dead Redemption 2 feeling like it was an absolutely fantastic game but at the same time disappointed. This game feels dated. If it didn't have fancy graphics and amazing animations it would feel old and antiquated. Rockstar's game design was revolutionary back in the day but hasn't evolved. Go to a place, watch a cutscene, do an activity (most likely shooting) or go to another place and do some miscellaneous activity, finish the mission, rinse and repeat. I know this is a very reductive view, but nonetheless, many missions blend together, (excluding story moments).
It's all very dull to me, especially all of the horseback riding from location to location. These rides are so frequent and monotonous, with the only breaks being some annoying encounter that gets in the way what you are trying to get to. The first Rockstar game I played was Grand Theft Auto V, and the shooting in that game wasn't great. In the five years between GTA V and RDR 2, shooting hasn't improved much. The shooting isn't awful but it isn't great either, but I feel it should be better when it's one of the primary activities you do. Maybe if they spent less time making horse testicles shrink in the cold, the shooting could've been better.
Speaking of horse balls, the attention to detail is insane. The animators really outdid themselves, the world at a glance feels like a living breathing thing. I know others dislike how long certain animations are but there never bothered me and only served to enhance the immersion that RDR 2 delivers in spades. Towns feel alive, nature feels alive, EVERYTHING feels alive. Was it worth it though? Surface level, everything feels alive, but that feeling is shallow. At the end of the day, there isn't much interaction in the world other than be nice, be mean, or kill. I know I'm being reductive again, but for a game trying so hard to immerse the player it doesn't provide the tools to do so, just extremely well-done window dressing.
I've spoken very harshly about RDR 2, but i don't hate it. I think it's a fine game, nothing groundbreaking, but certainly far from awful. Especially, when it has a story as good as this one. GOD DAMN this story slaps. I'd even go as far to say that this is one of the best if not the best story I have ever experienced in a game. I'm not very good at articulating my thoughts on narratives, it doesn't take a a lot to please me in a story, but I can tell that this is something special. The characters feel like real people and not just actors, which is something I can't say for many other games or movies. And that ending is something else, wish I didn't know what happens ahead of time, but experiencing everything up to it and witnessing the culmination of every you've done on your journey is... wow.
Red Dead Redemption 2 is a fine game with one of the best stories ever told within a game. The immaculate set-dressing used can only do so much in hiding how dated and antiquated its systems really are. I don't believe RDR 2 would've left much of an impression beyond "just another solid Rockstar game" without its phenomenal story that carries it from just good to great.
It's all very dull to me, especially all of the horseback riding from location to location. These rides are so frequent and monotonous, with the only breaks being some annoying encounter that gets in the way what you are trying to get to. The first Rockstar game I played was Grand Theft Auto V, and the shooting in that game wasn't great. In the five years between GTA V and RDR 2, shooting hasn't improved much. The shooting isn't awful but it isn't great either, but I feel it should be better when it's one of the primary activities you do. Maybe if they spent less time making horse testicles shrink in the cold, the shooting could've been better.
Speaking of horse balls, the attention to detail is insane. The animators really outdid themselves, the world at a glance feels like a living breathing thing. I know others dislike how long certain animations are but there never bothered me and only served to enhance the immersion that RDR 2 delivers in spades. Towns feel alive, nature feels alive, EVERYTHING feels alive. Was it worth it though? Surface level, everything feels alive, but that feeling is shallow. At the end of the day, there isn't much interaction in the world other than be nice, be mean, or kill. I know I'm being reductive again, but for a game trying so hard to immerse the player it doesn't provide the tools to do so, just extremely well-done window dressing.
I've spoken very harshly about RDR 2, but i don't hate it. I think it's a fine game, nothing groundbreaking, but certainly far from awful. Especially, when it has a story as good as this one. GOD DAMN this story slaps. I'd even go as far to say that this is one of the best if not the best story I have ever experienced in a game. I'm not very good at articulating my thoughts on narratives, it doesn't take a a lot to please me in a story, but I can tell that this is something special. The characters feel like real people and not just actors, which is something I can't say for many other games or movies. And that ending is something else, wish I didn't know what happens ahead of time, but experiencing everything up to it and witnessing the culmination of every you've done on your journey is... wow.
Red Dead Redemption 2 is a fine game with one of the best stories ever told within a game. The immaculate set-dressing used can only do so much in hiding how dated and antiquated its systems really are. I don't believe RDR 2 would've left much of an impression beyond "just another solid Rockstar game" without its phenomenal story that carries it from just good to great.
This isn't a review of Red Dead Redemption 2, but a rant of a certain thing that I believe plagues this game and other Rockstar games.
WHY DO I HAVE TO MASH A BUTTON TO MOVE FASTER!?
All of the Rockstar games I have played, which albeit is not many, have a mechanic where you run faster when mashing 'X'. Why? Why do I have to develop carpal tunnel syndrome to move faster in a Rockstar game? In Grand Theft Auto, you only do this for running and riding a bicycle. In RDR 2 you do it for the same thing, but also when you want to gallop on your horse. And I ask the same question, why?
That's like if you want to drive above 30 mph in GTA, you have to mash 'X'. That's awful. Why do I have strain my thumb to make the boring ride of nothingness between missions shorter. The wild thing to me is that you don't have to do this on keyboard and mouse. I played RDR 2 originally on PS4 and abandoned it because my thumb kept aching because of the stupid mashing. WHY ARE THERE NO ACCESSIBILITY SETTINGS FOR THIS!? As of writing this I'm playing the PC version and not having thumb pain genuinely elevates the experience. Last time I ask this question, WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!
That's all from me, and thank you for reading through all of my rambling. Here's to hoping Rockstar finally develops the technology to allow sprinting without mashing a button on a controller.
WHY DO I HAVE TO MASH A BUTTON TO MOVE FASTER!?
All of the Rockstar games I have played, which albeit is not many, have a mechanic where you run faster when mashing 'X'. Why? Why do I have to develop carpal tunnel syndrome to move faster in a Rockstar game? In Grand Theft Auto, you only do this for running and riding a bicycle. In RDR 2 you do it for the same thing, but also when you want to gallop on your horse. And I ask the same question, why?
That's like if you want to drive above 30 mph in GTA, you have to mash 'X'. That's awful. Why do I have strain my thumb to make the boring ride of nothingness between missions shorter. The wild thing to me is that you don't have to do this on keyboard and mouse. I played RDR 2 originally on PS4 and abandoned it because my thumb kept aching because of the stupid mashing. WHY ARE THERE NO ACCESSIBILITY SETTINGS FOR THIS!? As of writing this I'm playing the PC version and not having thumb pain genuinely elevates the experience. Last time I ask this question, WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!
That's all from me, and thank you for reading through all of my rambling. Here's to hoping Rockstar finally develops the technology to allow sprinting without mashing a button on a controller.
2016
My friend picked Clash Royale back up and here I am, relapsed. What an unfortunate game. The gameplay is so good yet it's shackled by awful monetization. The best card in the game is still the credit card and has only gotten stronger. They keep tossing in more garbage into this game that even further ruins it. New card levels, new card rarity, new battlepass tier, and more egregious bundles to pour inane amounts of money into. But here I am, playing it once again... wow I'm a sucker.
Oh what a dark time it was back in Destiny 2's first year. People were hoping that this would've "fixed" Destiny 2, they were pretty wishful thinkers and/or overdosing on copium. Would they reintroduce random rolls? Would double primary go the way of the dodo!? Of course not, you must've been delusional if you thought otherwise. As the days neared launch, people finally realized that this would not be the answer to their prayers, but just one more nail in the coffin.
What a time to be playing Destiny 2, fan sentiment and morale was at an all time low, I'd say even worse than the first half of Lighfall's year. Looking back on Curse of Osiris, I'd say that it wasn't particularly worse than vanilla Destiny 2 at the time. It was just more of the same, which the game desperately didn't need and would only recover with year two. We got a subpar destination; ultra-mid campaign; a raid-lair with only one "real" encounter; the "most rewarding" public event, gotta love getting two tokens and a blue; the usual loot additions, both exotic and legendary; and how could I forget the Infinite Forest of infinite content. Certainly one of the "expansions" of all time.
However, objectively speaking, I don't think Curse of Osiris is the worst $20 Destiny DLC. I believe that would go to The Dark Below. It had less content and quality-wise was about on par with this expansion. Even with that in mind, I prefer The Dark Below, and I believe it's because that Destiny 1 was a better game. In a vacuum, Curse of Osiris is not the worst Destiny DLC but when looking at the whole picture, it makes sense. Destiny 2 was in a very bad spot at the time; newbies played it and bounced off, while the hardcore were dissatisfied because Destiny 2 wasn't made for Destiny fans but for people who didn't like Destiny. Destiny 2 was very close to getting it's plugged pulled and it took Forsaken, one of the best if not the best Destiny expansion, to save it.
I don't have many specific things to say about Curse of Osiris other than very general statements because it's been a while since I played it. And I can't revisit it outside of YouTube videos because Bungie doesn't know how to make a stable game so they removed it and a whole heap of other stuff. You can't play the Destiny 2 campaign in Destiny 2 anymore... but I digress. I did everything there was to do outside the raid, mostly in the tail end of year one and during year two. I even got the Sagira shell, which isn't a very difficult task but it helped me understand what it's like to have a lobotomy.
All in all, Curse of Osiris was a rough period for Destiny 2, probably the worst. I foresee it being that way for the foreseeable future, unless The Final Shape ends up being the wet fart to end all wet farts. As someone who regularly plays Destiny 2, that would be really funny and an amazing way to go out. Not with a whimper but a pile of shit.
What a time to be playing Destiny 2, fan sentiment and morale was at an all time low, I'd say even worse than the first half of Lighfall's year. Looking back on Curse of Osiris, I'd say that it wasn't particularly worse than vanilla Destiny 2 at the time. It was just more of the same, which the game desperately didn't need and would only recover with year two. We got a subpar destination; ultra-mid campaign; a raid-lair with only one "real" encounter; the "most rewarding" public event, gotta love getting two tokens and a blue; the usual loot additions, both exotic and legendary; and how could I forget the Infinite Forest of infinite content. Certainly one of the "expansions" of all time.
However, objectively speaking, I don't think Curse of Osiris is the worst $20 Destiny DLC. I believe that would go to The Dark Below. It had less content and quality-wise was about on par with this expansion. Even with that in mind, I prefer The Dark Below, and I believe it's because that Destiny 1 was a better game. In a vacuum, Curse of Osiris is not the worst Destiny DLC but when looking at the whole picture, it makes sense. Destiny 2 was in a very bad spot at the time; newbies played it and bounced off, while the hardcore were dissatisfied because Destiny 2 wasn't made for Destiny fans but for people who didn't like Destiny. Destiny 2 was very close to getting it's plugged pulled and it took Forsaken, one of the best if not the best Destiny expansion, to save it.
I don't have many specific things to say about Curse of Osiris other than very general statements because it's been a while since I played it. And I can't revisit it outside of YouTube videos because Bungie doesn't know how to make a stable game so they removed it and a whole heap of other stuff. You can't play the Destiny 2 campaign in Destiny 2 anymore... but I digress. I did everything there was to do outside the raid, mostly in the tail end of year one and during year two. I even got the Sagira shell, which isn't a very difficult task but it helped me understand what it's like to have a lobotomy.
All in all, Curse of Osiris was a rough period for Destiny 2, probably the worst. I foresee it being that way for the foreseeable future, unless The Final Shape ends up being the wet fart to end all wet farts. As someone who regularly plays Destiny 2, that would be really funny and an amazing way to go out. Not with a whimper but a pile of shit.