Mattt
1604 reviews liked by Mattt
I was wondering why I couldn't mine from a mineral deposit in FFXI. It turns out I had to open an item trade with the mining spot and offer my pickaxe.
This game was made by and for psychopaths.
The first day of my subscription was spent trying to log in to the DRM, PlayOnline, something that felt held together by spit and a prayer. Already feeling pressed for time, I started looking into guides, FAQs and walkthroughs to immediately realise that they are filled with conflicting information. What ensued was 29 days of folkloric adventuring, going off years-old rumours and hearsay found among mostly defunct Wikis. A guide would literally say "- Once you meet unknown requirements" and I'd have to crack my knuckles and experiment in any way I could with the absolute wishing well that forms FFXI's design. Unclear signposting, a nightmarish control scheme, and unresponsive NPCs - but what really drags the experience down is the lengthy grind, which not even late-expansion introduced multipliers and buffs seem to alleviate much.
In a way, I almost admire how every single element of this game feels as tuned as possible to be as transgressively rude and dull as possible. Still, I gave it a shot after two decades-worth of quality of life alterations were added to the title. I can't say it really felt that way as a newcomer, but there were entire systems I found myself relying on, such as the NPC summoning Trust mechanic and repeatable quests that I was assured were late additions.
The thing that kept me strung along really was the story elements; they're so fantastic. Great dialogue and large scale narrative events with meta elements that recontextualise entire swathes of the game in genuinely impressive ways. And almost all of them are things that the guides neglect to mention; you stumble upon genuinely stellar moments while trying to do your bread and butter.
I'll probably never re-subscribe, it was a fascinating month of archaic-yet-ingenious design. On the one hand, thank God I'll never play anything like this again, but on the other, ah man I kinda miss it already. Hell is real, and you can pay £8 a month to experience it.
This game was made by and for psychopaths.
The first day of my subscription was spent trying to log in to the DRM, PlayOnline, something that felt held together by spit and a prayer. Already feeling pressed for time, I started looking into guides, FAQs and walkthroughs to immediately realise that they are filled with conflicting information. What ensued was 29 days of folkloric adventuring, going off years-old rumours and hearsay found among mostly defunct Wikis. A guide would literally say "- Once you meet unknown requirements" and I'd have to crack my knuckles and experiment in any way I could with the absolute wishing well that forms FFXI's design. Unclear signposting, a nightmarish control scheme, and unresponsive NPCs - but what really drags the experience down is the lengthy grind, which not even late-expansion introduced multipliers and buffs seem to alleviate much.
In a way, I almost admire how every single element of this game feels as tuned as possible to be as transgressively rude and dull as possible. Still, I gave it a shot after two decades-worth of quality of life alterations were added to the title. I can't say it really felt that way as a newcomer, but there were entire systems I found myself relying on, such as the NPC summoning Trust mechanic and repeatable quests that I was assured were late additions.
The thing that kept me strung along really was the story elements; they're so fantastic. Great dialogue and large scale narrative events with meta elements that recontextualise entire swathes of the game in genuinely impressive ways. And almost all of them are things that the guides neglect to mention; you stumble upon genuinely stellar moments while trying to do your bread and butter.
I'll probably never re-subscribe, it was a fascinating month of archaic-yet-ingenious design. On the one hand, thank God I'll never play anything like this again, but on the other, ah man I kinda miss it already. Hell is real, and you can pay £8 a month to experience it.
HarmoKnight
2012
This game would be better by quite a margin if doing most things a little late wasn't a miss. I was enjoying myself more once I realized this, but it's still weird and kind of annoying having to make sure I was aiming to go a little earlier than the beat instead of... being on the beat like every other rhythm game I've played. I was gonna say that I'd like to see Game Freak do a sequel or something, but that seems a lot less likely what with James Turner having left to form his own studio. But yeah, what's here is decently fun overall! It's definitely worth a shot if you like rhythm games, just be aware of the weird timing system.
fuckin minecart levels suck though. that and the ones that just change tempo without warning
fuckin minecart levels suck though. that and the ones that just change tempo without warning
Shadow the Hedgehog
2005
I Am... All Of Me.
Shadow the Hedgehog has been my favorite Sonic character ever since Sonic Adventure 2, so naturally I was looking forward to trying out the one game, where he plays the main role - despite the overall divisive reception of Shadow 2005.
That being said, you know you're in for a ride when the very first level already leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Have you ever wondered how Shadow would control like if he was constantly ice-skating? Probably not, but Shadow 2005 takes that question off your mind by providing you with physics that feel floaty and entirely different from the previous 3D games. Even with those complaints in the beginnning, everything was still tolerable enough for me to keep my motivation to a certain point, but while playing through Iron Jungle, it dawned on me that this game was infamous for a reason. The cherry on top was the Egg Breaker boss afterwards though, who should have been named Camera Breaker, cause that's all he does while Shadow is running little laps around the base in the center of the arena ad infinitum. No offense to Lava Shelter though, it was the final level on the route I played and I actually enjoyed it a good amount after the mess that the previous stage was.
Enough talk about the gameplay, as the unique way of storytelling is also a key aspect of Shadow 2005. There are unironically 326 possible routes to play and they even have their own unique names - but it doesn't change the fact that the storytelling is nonsensical in many cases. So basically there's an alignment system in the levels, which you can advance through completing certain objectives towards your alignment. If you want to be evil, do Black Doom's requests. If you want to remain neutral, just run through the level and get the Chaos Emerald. This way of storytelling is actually an interesting concept for a game like Shadow the Hedgehog, as he is this morally ambiguous character, who can be easily interpreted as a player for both sides. Depending on which objectives you complete, the selection of levels across the stage flowchart changes accordingly and I'm sure the idea is that you don't have to play the same levels twice. Quite ironic, considering you have to play through Westopolis at least ten times in order to see the true ending, all while doing the same, repetitive tasks. Considering the amount of "kill [x] amount of enemy" challenges present, it would have been nice if you weren't required to kill every single enemy in the stage. You missed one? Good luck backtracking and finding them, cause the game surely won't tell you where to search. I couldn't really bring myself to do those challenges, so I went for a run that's mostly on the neutral side, but even that required me to play arduous levels like Iron Jungle to the end. Playing it several times would not be something on my priority list, so I only played a single route and called it quits for now.
Sorry for the amount of unorganized rambling in the second half. I still had my fair share of fun with Shadow the Hedgehog, even if some of it comes from a "so bad it's good again" perspective, cause there's something about it that sticks with me here, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Either way, if I have to give the game some credit where it's due, it's for the soundtrack - the remix for Eggman's theme and the title theme "I Am... All Of Me" are both bangers.
Shadow the Hedgehog has been my favorite Sonic character ever since Sonic Adventure 2, so naturally I was looking forward to trying out the one game, where he plays the main role - despite the overall divisive reception of Shadow 2005.
That being said, you know you're in for a ride when the very first level already leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Have you ever wondered how Shadow would control like if he was constantly ice-skating? Probably not, but Shadow 2005 takes that question off your mind by providing you with physics that feel floaty and entirely different from the previous 3D games. Even with those complaints in the beginnning, everything was still tolerable enough for me to keep my motivation to a certain point, but while playing through Iron Jungle, it dawned on me that this game was infamous for a reason. The cherry on top was the Egg Breaker boss afterwards though, who should have been named Camera Breaker, cause that's all he does while Shadow is running little laps around the base in the center of the arena ad infinitum. No offense to Lava Shelter though, it was the final level on the route I played and I actually enjoyed it a good amount after the mess that the previous stage was.
Enough talk about the gameplay, as the unique way of storytelling is also a key aspect of Shadow 2005. There are unironically 326 possible routes to play and they even have their own unique names - but it doesn't change the fact that the storytelling is nonsensical in many cases. So basically there's an alignment system in the levels, which you can advance through completing certain objectives towards your alignment. If you want to be evil, do Black Doom's requests. If you want to remain neutral, just run through the level and get the Chaos Emerald. This way of storytelling is actually an interesting concept for a game like Shadow the Hedgehog, as he is this morally ambiguous character, who can be easily interpreted as a player for both sides. Depending on which objectives you complete, the selection of levels across the stage flowchart changes accordingly and I'm sure the idea is that you don't have to play the same levels twice. Quite ironic, considering you have to play through Westopolis at least ten times in order to see the true ending, all while doing the same, repetitive tasks. Considering the amount of "kill [x] amount of enemy" challenges present, it would have been nice if you weren't required to kill every single enemy in the stage. You missed one? Good luck backtracking and finding them, cause the game surely won't tell you where to search. I couldn't really bring myself to do those challenges, so I went for a run that's mostly on the neutral side, but even that required me to play arduous levels like Iron Jungle to the end. Playing it several times would not be something on my priority list, so I only played a single route and called it quits for now.
Sorry for the amount of unorganized rambling in the second half. I still had my fair share of fun with Shadow the Hedgehog, even if some of it comes from a "so bad it's good again" perspective, cause there's something about it that sticks with me here, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Either way, if I have to give the game some credit where it's due, it's for the soundtrack - the remix for Eggman's theme and the title theme "I Am... All Of Me" are both bangers.
one of gaming's all-time great punchlines is how this is, to this day, one of the most technically fraught and unstable games ever made, chugging and stuttering on computers made nearly 20 years after it's release, where the game will, at every loading screen crash and then reload itself in the new area just to keep the memory leak from crashing your whole PC, and then you see the majesty, the sheer ambition of Downtown Seattle that this game struggles so hard to render...is like three rooms where if you look at a lightbulb the framerate is halved. genuine comedy gold.
only other real reason to play this is to witness how The Bush Years hit Deus Ex so hard. any semblance of rebellion or hope from the original's world has been stripped away completely, Alex D is a remorseless gun for hire without any of the charm of JC Denton, well-meaning terrorists like Tracer Tong from the original are suddenly apologetic state actors utterly condemnatory about their past dreams of a world free from the yoke of megacorps and fascism, and where any path not based in the perpetuity of the american empire will lead to the actual destruction of humanity. either With Us or Against Us indeed. the possibility for subversion, either narratively or experientially, is crushed underfoot by this contrition to the status quo and the obscenely narrow level design. as a game about Choice and Consequence and Freedom it's a disaster, but as a game about the lack of those things, about living in Francis Fukuyama's End of History? Invisible War can only be called a tremendous success.
don't know if i would call this a good game, exactly, but it is a deeply fascinating one. i think the ideology it espouses is truly evil but as a game design object I have to recognize the care and attention to which the game goes about communicating it. each deus ex game is a fascinating time capsule of the moment in which it was made, for good and ill, and this one is maybe the most unhinged and weird of them all. would love to give it a full proper replay to pick over it in greater detail but that would require it not crashing my computer every 25 minu-
only other real reason to play this is to witness how The Bush Years hit Deus Ex so hard. any semblance of rebellion or hope from the original's world has been stripped away completely, Alex D is a remorseless gun for hire without any of the charm of JC Denton, well-meaning terrorists like Tracer Tong from the original are suddenly apologetic state actors utterly condemnatory about their past dreams of a world free from the yoke of megacorps and fascism, and where any path not based in the perpetuity of the american empire will lead to the actual destruction of humanity. either With Us or Against Us indeed. the possibility for subversion, either narratively or experientially, is crushed underfoot by this contrition to the status quo and the obscenely narrow level design. as a game about Choice and Consequence and Freedom it's a disaster, but as a game about the lack of those things, about living in Francis Fukuyama's End of History? Invisible War can only be called a tremendous success.
don't know if i would call this a good game, exactly, but it is a deeply fascinating one. i think the ideology it espouses is truly evil but as a game design object I have to recognize the care and attention to which the game goes about communicating it. each deus ex game is a fascinating time capsule of the moment in which it was made, for good and ill, and this one is maybe the most unhinged and weird of them all. would love to give it a full proper replay to pick over it in greater detail but that would require it not crashing my computer every 25 minu-
Fallout 76
2018
I can't hold back anymore... I can't handle this kind of gaslighting online that has been going on recently full of revisionism and blatant rabid MMO fan shit. Fallout 76 is pure slop to the highest degree. It's an insult to the players time and intelligence. The gameplay is worse than 4 extremely unresponsive and braindead. The quest design boils down to grabbing something and then taking to it another location. Every. Single. Time. Not even the main quests are interesting. The map is insanely goofy for what a fallout game should look like. You're telling me California looks the same in fallout but all of a sudden West Virginia has shit piss and vomit colour scheme forests everywhere? Yes I DESPISE this game. I always have and no the updates didn't fix shit. Now you can talk to extremely bland NPCs with wastelanders who are comically good or comically evilish. They couldn't even make the faction quests interesting like the enclave is just talking to a really lame computer and doing his chores around the map. Guess what? More MMO slop where it needs to make you take up as much time as possible doing multiple super insignificant quests to pad out your playtime and make you artificially feel like you're getting somewhere. No this game ISNT "good now." This game ISNT just blindly hated on. Its just your average MMO fans who wasted hundreds of hours doing absolutely nothing trying to find any reason to justify themselves from doing jack shit.
Yeah this is a super heated review but because this is genuinely everything wrong with a video game. Taking a franchise which already got dummed down with fallout 4 and then turning it into pure slop with an online only MMO. How fun. I wouldn't even hate on it if it wasn't extremely boring from every way you look at it. And no. It's not "fun with friends" either. Fallout is shit and people who unironically defend this game after everything Bethesda has done are the reason why.
Yeah this is a super heated review but because this is genuinely everything wrong with a video game. Taking a franchise which already got dummed down with fallout 4 and then turning it into pure slop with an online only MMO. How fun. I wouldn't even hate on it if it wasn't extremely boring from every way you look at it. And no. It's not "fun with friends" either. Fallout is shit and people who unironically defend this game after everything Bethesda has done are the reason why.
I mean, why not? When Nobunaga ruled part of Japan, and was asked for his reasoning to go after the rest, he simply went "because it's there". I'm pretty sure he said that, I was alive for it. It was essentially the same mindset I had with finishing the Advance Collection.
Known as "Vampire's Kiss" for our PALs, "Dracula X" could only be assumed to be meant as "Dracula's Hug" rather than some attempt at the 2Xtreme movement of the 90s. You see, because in here Dracula gives you a nice little hug and a peck on the cheek, all before he kicks you down a hole in his dilapidated humble abode. It makes one wonder why Dracula would even bother with floors in general when he's more than capable of flying everywhere, especially if he's already figured out that the best defense against Belmonts is to simply either make them walk up stairs, or dare them to hop with their cement-infused boots across magical levitating platforms. Where these platforms are coming from is a mystery, but I assume it's where all those holes in Dracula's throne room came from, or perhaps that's the origin of all the gaps in the grand hallway where one slip up means Richter falling into an alternate stage that denies him the ability to rescue Maria's now completely useless ass.
"Wow, thanks Richter! Good luck on your quest, I'll make my way out now."
Bitch.
It's really intriguing how a final boss fight can completely overtake discussion, and it's quite telling what the legacy of the Dracula's Smooch version of the climactic finale leaves behind when there exists an entire guide on GameFAQs dedicated to it. A useful one at that. Part of me wishes the Game Gear version of Sonic 2 would have something like that for it's first boss, but I guess there's not much to be helped there beyond "I sure hope the balls don't hit me". To say that the fight with Dracula X is a slog would be shorting it a few hundred didgeridoos, because man I could've made some tasty pancakes in the time it took trying to wait out his ass to get into an advantageous position to hit his godawful hitbox along the pillar system he installed in his throne room prior to him calling in an assist from Devil Kazuya. Kaiser Sigma from X3 would puke at all the times I uselessly cracked my whip across Dracula X's forehead and had it not register, because Konami designed this game from the ground up with anti-blockbuster rental countermeasures instead of waiting for it to come out to us, thus destroying all potential goodwill it could have found as a demake later during the age of emulation, with an audience less upset at being bamboozled out of a more faithful and less mean-spirited retelling of the beloved PC Engine classic. Instead, Switch owners will be annoyed they have to deal with this while Requiem continues chilling as a PS4 exclusive nearly six years later.
Baffling, though not quite as baffling as the censorship where they kept the blood on the title screen, but got rid of Death's Mortal Kombat Deception-style Hara Kiri where he decapitates himself with his own scythe, meanwhile Richter in our version apparently explodes into a pile of flour for Dracula X to make his cookies from.
What cookie would Richter be? Puzzling...
My opinion was ever so slightly improved from forcing myself to replay this for completion-sake, but the most heartwarming thing I get out of Dracula's Kiss personally is seeing the font used at the bottom of the title screen for the copyright, and being reminded of a childhood banger in Konami's Biker Mice From Mars which uses the same thing, so I guess I'll go play that now instead. Ciao.
Known as "Vampire's Kiss" for our PALs, "Dracula X" could only be assumed to be meant as "Dracula's Hug" rather than some attempt at the 2Xtreme movement of the 90s. You see, because in here Dracula gives you a nice little hug and a peck on the cheek, all before he kicks you down a hole in his dilapidated humble abode. It makes one wonder why Dracula would even bother with floors in general when he's more than capable of flying everywhere, especially if he's already figured out that the best defense against Belmonts is to simply either make them walk up stairs, or dare them to hop with their cement-infused boots across magical levitating platforms. Where these platforms are coming from is a mystery, but I assume it's where all those holes in Dracula's throne room came from, or perhaps that's the origin of all the gaps in the grand hallway where one slip up means Richter falling into an alternate stage that denies him the ability to rescue Maria's now completely useless ass.
"Wow, thanks Richter! Good luck on your quest, I'll make my way out now."
Bitch.
It's really intriguing how a final boss fight can completely overtake discussion, and it's quite telling what the legacy of the Dracula's Smooch version of the climactic finale leaves behind when there exists an entire guide on GameFAQs dedicated to it. A useful one at that. Part of me wishes the Game Gear version of Sonic 2 would have something like that for it's first boss, but I guess there's not much to be helped there beyond "I sure hope the balls don't hit me". To say that the fight with Dracula X is a slog would be shorting it a few hundred didgeridoos, because man I could've made some tasty pancakes in the time it took trying to wait out his ass to get into an advantageous position to hit his godawful hitbox along the pillar system he installed in his throne room prior to him calling in an assist from Devil Kazuya. Kaiser Sigma from X3 would puke at all the times I uselessly cracked my whip across Dracula X's forehead and had it not register, because Konami designed this game from the ground up with anti-blockbuster rental countermeasures instead of waiting for it to come out to us, thus destroying all potential goodwill it could have found as a demake later during the age of emulation, with an audience less upset at being bamboozled out of a more faithful and less mean-spirited retelling of the beloved PC Engine classic. Instead, Switch owners will be annoyed they have to deal with this while Requiem continues chilling as a PS4 exclusive nearly six years later.
Baffling, though not quite as baffling as the censorship where they kept the blood on the title screen, but got rid of Death's Mortal Kombat Deception-style Hara Kiri where he decapitates himself with his own scythe, meanwhile Richter in our version apparently explodes into a pile of flour for Dracula X to make his cookies from.
What cookie would Richter be? Puzzling...
My opinion was ever so slightly improved from forcing myself to replay this for completion-sake, but the most heartwarming thing I get out of Dracula's Kiss personally is seeing the font used at the bottom of the title screen for the copyright, and being reminded of a childhood banger in Konami's Biker Mice From Mars which uses the same thing, so I guess I'll go play that now instead. Ciao.
I have no idea why, but for some reason, every time I play one of Tour's tracks, I nail it, I’m not even close at being the best Mario Kart player at my friend group but I always land first in those… never in my life I’ve been so disappointed for being good at something.
This was actually the very first thing I played this year, going through all the cups with some friends on the night of January 1st, however, I decided to hold on talking about since I knew I wanted to get gold and experience them myself alone ‘cause I l knew that playing one after the other in one night while having a laugh will pals would be a completely different experience from slowly taking the courses in and playing them all in other while trying out the online and even more of the co-op, and boy oh boy was I right.
One thing I’ll give the Booster Course Pass as a whole is that is a joy to play through with friends, I mean duh, this is Mario Kart after all, but still, compared to other games in the series or even base Mario Kart 8/ 8 Deluxe, this is one of the few times where it feels wrong to not play at least three or four cups in succession when being with some pals. At first, I thought the reason for it was simply because of the novelty of the but after playing this whole thing in order I see the hold this can have; it’s almost addicting playing this whole thing, and ironically, I feel partly of that is because how poorly it starts off.
Wave 1 of the DLC is the single most underwhelming Mario Kart experience I’ve ever had; the track selection is mediocre at best and actually baffling at worst, visually it’s a far cry from the base experience —tho that can be said about the whole DLC or at least most of it, but it does get better as it goes on so there’s that—, some of the changes in the returning courses either don’t make anything to make them more interesting or at times they are for the worst, and to be completely honest, they couldn’t have picked a worst selection of courses from Tour to start things off, the first impression they give is abominable… but it actually gets real good real fast.
I imagine those that paid for the DLC day one must have had the sour taste way longer, but as someone that played the whole thing at its complete state, it’s super surprising just how much everything improves, to the point that by Wave 3 and onwards, the only Cup I’d call ‘’weak’’ is the Cherry Cup, and even then, it’s still pretty fun at times.
The selection of returning tracks gets better and better, the visuals and specially the sounds are even more of a joy with each passing cup, hell, even tho I started this review mocking them, some of the later Tour tracks were pretty stellar! And we even get some new playable characters which, in my opinion, round the roster perfectly, and I couldn’t be happier to finally see ma boi Wiggler playable again, and we finally have Petey and King Boo in the same game again! The boys, together at last!
The new courses couldn’t have surprised me more for the better oif they wanted to; there are some on the weaker side like the Ice Cream one, but Yoshi’s Island alone is probably in my top 5 of favorite tracks in general, and hell, as much shade as I’ve thrown Wave 1, Ninja Hideaway isn’t that far off either, and it alone makes the first two cups much more bearable.
The joy of returning to the Rainbow Courses of old, seeing so many new places and the returning ones given some pretty amazing changes (running on the rails of Kalimari Damazy was simply amazing), there’s something in here that shows nothing but care and passion, and makes me wish they could have had more time in the oven from the start, ‘cause most of this is truly excellent.
There are still flaws; it relays too much of city courses, every GBA course remake feels like a flip coin between it being the best thing ever or total bullshit, there are some major omissions while also other tracks that would have benefited from some changes… but at the same time, no other collection of tracks has left me and my friends wanting for more, to play more, to see more great courses or the promise of better ones in future cups.
At worst is middling or disappointing, but at best is stellar and pure fun, kinda makes me wish we also go more Battle Courses honestly, we got a entire race course based on a bathroom, so imagine the possibilities!
Also, now that the URSS is canon in the Mario Universe, by proxy that means all bootleg Mario games released on the Dendy also are. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, Somari will appear in Mario Kart 9 for sure…
This was actually the very first thing I played this year, going through all the cups with some friends on the night of January 1st, however, I decided to hold on talking about since I knew I wanted to get gold and experience them myself alone ‘cause I l knew that playing one after the other in one night while having a laugh will pals would be a completely different experience from slowly taking the courses in and playing them all in other while trying out the online and even more of the co-op, and boy oh boy was I right.
One thing I’ll give the Booster Course Pass as a whole is that is a joy to play through with friends, I mean duh, this is Mario Kart after all, but still, compared to other games in the series or even base Mario Kart 8/ 8 Deluxe, this is one of the few times where it feels wrong to not play at least three or four cups in succession when being with some pals. At first, I thought the reason for it was simply because of the novelty of the but after playing this whole thing in order I see the hold this can have; it’s almost addicting playing this whole thing, and ironically, I feel partly of that is because how poorly it starts off.
Wave 1 of the DLC is the single most underwhelming Mario Kart experience I’ve ever had; the track selection is mediocre at best and actually baffling at worst, visually it’s a far cry from the base experience —tho that can be said about the whole DLC or at least most of it, but it does get better as it goes on so there’s that—, some of the changes in the returning courses either don’t make anything to make them more interesting or at times they are for the worst, and to be completely honest, they couldn’t have picked a worst selection of courses from Tour to start things off, the first impression they give is abominable… but it actually gets real good real fast.
I imagine those that paid for the DLC day one must have had the sour taste way longer, but as someone that played the whole thing at its complete state, it’s super surprising just how much everything improves, to the point that by Wave 3 and onwards, the only Cup I’d call ‘’weak’’ is the Cherry Cup, and even then, it’s still pretty fun at times.
The selection of returning tracks gets better and better, the visuals and specially the sounds are even more of a joy with each passing cup, hell, even tho I started this review mocking them, some of the later Tour tracks were pretty stellar! And we even get some new playable characters which, in my opinion, round the roster perfectly, and I couldn’t be happier to finally see ma boi Wiggler playable again, and we finally have Petey and King Boo in the same game again! The boys, together at last!
The new courses couldn’t have surprised me more for the better oif they wanted to; there are some on the weaker side like the Ice Cream one, but Yoshi’s Island alone is probably in my top 5 of favorite tracks in general, and hell, as much shade as I’ve thrown Wave 1, Ninja Hideaway isn’t that far off either, and it alone makes the first two cups much more bearable.
The joy of returning to the Rainbow Courses of old, seeing so many new places and the returning ones given some pretty amazing changes (running on the rails of Kalimari Damazy was simply amazing), there’s something in here that shows nothing but care and passion, and makes me wish they could have had more time in the oven from the start, ‘cause most of this is truly excellent.
There are still flaws; it relays too much of city courses, every GBA course remake feels like a flip coin between it being the best thing ever or total bullshit, there are some major omissions while also other tracks that would have benefited from some changes… but at the same time, no other collection of tracks has left me and my friends wanting for more, to play more, to see more great courses or the promise of better ones in future cups.
At worst is middling or disappointing, but at best is stellar and pure fun, kinda makes me wish we also go more Battle Courses honestly, we got a entire race course based on a bathroom, so imagine the possibilities!
Also, now that the URSS is canon in the Mario Universe, by proxy that means all bootleg Mario games released on the Dendy also are. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, Somari will appear in Mario Kart 9 for sure…
One of the more impressive ROM hacks I've played, and one I'm happy to say has seen some touch-ups since the last time I played it. A very lovingly crafted double-dozen pack of Mario World levels with gorgeous new visuals and music, a challenging but consistent difficulty curve, and a strong variety of level concepts and themes. Many aspects of this game speak to my preferences more than even the base game Mario World, which is a hell of an accomplish. A few crappy levels near the end can't stop this from being a favorite of mine. Any 2D Mario fan willing to confront a pretty legit challenge that will blow your artistic senses away, step on up.
Rapid Reload
1995
Shoddily programmed and designed, reaches fangame territory with how damage spongey the encounters are as they lob heavily-scripted attacks that force you into safezones if you want to survive. Has one of the worst auto-scrollers conceived. And Axel's spread shot seems explicitly useless? It's supposed to be a 'destroy incoming enemies/missiles' type of weapon but has borderline nonexistent damage and less reliable hitboxes than the regular and homing shots. PAL version felt a lot more balanced - higher weapon damage and maybe slightly more HP, - but doesn't correct any issues with patterns or enemy placement. I owe it a full playthrough when the taste of the JP version washes out.
Between this, Spectacular Sparky and Xenogunner, it feels like any run-and-gun that tries to crib Treasure turns out to be a stinker.
Between this, Spectacular Sparky and Xenogunner, it feels like any run-and-gun that tries to crib Treasure turns out to be a stinker.
It feels mean to compare this to its predecessor but Virtue's Last Reward just doesn't have the sheer joy and thrill that Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors had. Its lore simultaneously wants to develop and exacerbate the insanity that 999 spent slowly unspooling, but it doesn't want to approach that level of multifaceted storytelling with nearly the same drama or heightened sense of panic. When I learned of a new element within the story, I didn't feel as strong of a sense of bewilderment or clairvoyance-level realization, but rather a sense of mild satisfaction. That's the thing that gets me about this game, I suppose: It works, but it doesn't tug at my emotions as much as 999 did. The chaos is ramped up but it just doesn't feel as urgent or interesting.
The character drama in particular is maybe my biggest gripe with the game overall. Every conversation is considerably longer and more quippy at the cost of information density, there's this sense of irreverence that feels extremely out of place. Of course, you could blame this on the advent of the Danganronpa franchise and its mockery in the face of certain death, but that series has its moments to refrain from indulging in its hypersexuality and humor in service of a bigger idea that climbs towards a hostile thriller screenplay. Additionally, the irreverence is used to help build onto the dread—were it not for Monokuma's complete and utter disregard for his subjects' lives, there'd be less panic among them.
The characters in VLR, on the other hand, are poised to joke and shove corny banter in nearly every conversation given enough time, such that it stands to kill a lot of the intensity that the holistic story builds. I would much rather a short, important conversation than a long one that stands to remove any given amount goodwill I have for the main characters. This lack of brevity is also not helped by the gargantuan amount of time that it takes between various novel segments, showcasing a very annoying dot moving across the map for every single possible migration of the characters. At a certain point in my playthrough, I started scheduling for these intermissions and texting friends over actually trying to remain immersed with a medium that ejected me from immersion to begin with.
That's not to say it's a bad game, far from it—once again in no small part to the thoughtful escape room design employed with a similar (but not exact same) grace as its predecessor. The increase in difficulty is something I rather appreciate, even if it comes at the cost of breaking immersion sometimes. I especially appreciate the safe system, though it has its drawbacks with certain room-end puzzles. The broader story itself, divorced from being attached to the game and the individual writing choices I dislike, is excellent scaffolding around the original lore that 999 set up. It's just a shame that this story had to shake out this way, because as a game it fails to excite me beyond its lore and individual chambers.
EDIT, 23-MARCH-2024:
My neglect to mention the very casual misogyny present in this game is starting to bug me greatly, so allow me to comment on the reality that Sigma and the rest of the characters either are victims or enablers of horrific womanizing. In a shocking departure from 999's relatively minute jokes about sexuality that are unimportant, minor facets of individual characters only appearing once or twice, Virtue's Last Reward takes the bold move to make Sigma a sexual harasser. In every possible route, he is poised to interact with at least one of the female characters with a variety of dehumanizing and, frankly, horrible sex pestery. He even remarks that Clover (who in VLR is small and skinny but an adult) is seemingly jailbait.
Misogynist characters are not inherently detrimental to a story if it is done with the tact and angling that it deserves. I hold the idea that depiction is not necessarily endorsement of the depicted. However, VLR's main character being an incessantly horny poon-hound who can be led to do just about anything with the promise of someone's panties getting stripped off is so irritating after 20 hours of playing the game that it ceases to be worthwhile as a facet of a character worth exploring. There is no benefit to it in this story.
The character drama in particular is maybe my biggest gripe with the game overall. Every conversation is considerably longer and more quippy at the cost of information density, there's this sense of irreverence that feels extremely out of place. Of course, you could blame this on the advent of the Danganronpa franchise and its mockery in the face of certain death, but that series has its moments to refrain from indulging in its hypersexuality and humor in service of a bigger idea that climbs towards a hostile thriller screenplay. Additionally, the irreverence is used to help build onto the dread—were it not for Monokuma's complete and utter disregard for his subjects' lives, there'd be less panic among them.
The characters in VLR, on the other hand, are poised to joke and shove corny banter in nearly every conversation given enough time, such that it stands to kill a lot of the intensity that the holistic story builds. I would much rather a short, important conversation than a long one that stands to remove any given amount goodwill I have for the main characters. This lack of brevity is also not helped by the gargantuan amount of time that it takes between various novel segments, showcasing a very annoying dot moving across the map for every single possible migration of the characters. At a certain point in my playthrough, I started scheduling for these intermissions and texting friends over actually trying to remain immersed with a medium that ejected me from immersion to begin with.
That's not to say it's a bad game, far from it—once again in no small part to the thoughtful escape room design employed with a similar (but not exact same) grace as its predecessor. The increase in difficulty is something I rather appreciate, even if it comes at the cost of breaking immersion sometimes. I especially appreciate the safe system, though it has its drawbacks with certain room-end puzzles. The broader story itself, divorced from being attached to the game and the individual writing choices I dislike, is excellent scaffolding around the original lore that 999 set up. It's just a shame that this story had to shake out this way, because as a game it fails to excite me beyond its lore and individual chambers.
EDIT, 23-MARCH-2024:
My neglect to mention the very casual misogyny present in this game is starting to bug me greatly, so allow me to comment on the reality that Sigma and the rest of the characters either are victims or enablers of horrific womanizing. In a shocking departure from 999's relatively minute jokes about sexuality that are unimportant, minor facets of individual characters only appearing once or twice, Virtue's Last Reward takes the bold move to make Sigma a sexual harasser. In every possible route, he is poised to interact with at least one of the female characters with a variety of dehumanizing and, frankly, horrible sex pestery. He even remarks that Clover (who in VLR is small and skinny but an adult) is seemingly jailbait.
Misogynist characters are not inherently detrimental to a story if it is done with the tact and angling that it deserves. I hold the idea that depiction is not necessarily endorsement of the depicted. However, VLR's main character being an incessantly horny poon-hound who can be led to do just about anything with the promise of someone's panties getting stripped off is so irritating after 20 hours of playing the game that it ceases to be worthwhile as a facet of a character worth exploring. There is no benefit to it in this story.
