The original Athena game was, without a doubt, the absolute worst game that I had ever played from SNK so far. I could admire some things that it tried doing, such as having plenty of neat items and upgrades to find that encouraged exploration, as well as the fact that the game didn’t take itself too seriously given the story, but all of that couldn’t distract me from how horribly the game controlled, how relentless it was right from the start, how awkward it felt to do anything aside from walking to the right, and giving you little chance to do anything to defend yourself from the start before you are ambushed by all the enemies that are thrown at you. I don’t understand how anyone could release a game like that and say it was good and ready to go back in the day, or even how they thought that following the game up with a sequel would be a good idea, but nonetheless, we got one just one year later in the form of Psycho Soldier.

Naturally, I wasn’t looking forward to checking out this game whatsoever. The original game had already left such a bad taste in my mouth after the short time I had experienced with it, and given SNK’s pattern with sequels, I assumed this was gonna change practically nothing about the formula, and it would end up being yet another complete mess of a game. However, in the biggest plot twist of the 20th century, Psycho Soldier actually turned out to be a MASSIVE improvement over the original game in just about every way. I wouldn’t say that it is anything more than just simply being good, and it also has its fair share of issues that did get in the way of how much fun I was having, but needless to say, I would choose to play this game over the original Athena title any day of the week.

The story is a bit more generic than that of the previous game, where suddenly out of nowhere, evil creatures from the land of Shiguma appear on Earth, Japan specifically, and start terrorizing its many citizens and destroying everything in sight, so it is up to Athena Asamiya, a descendent of the Athena from the previous game, to team up with her friend Sie Kensou to take out the villainous scourge using their psychic powers, which is a basic enough set up, and it works well enough for what this game is. The graphics are very similar to that of the original game, but it does look a lot more appealing, both in terms of the environments you travel through and the designs of the characters, enemies, and bosses, the music is good, having plenty of enjoyable tracks, and even one that has someone singing what I can only assume is the theme song of the game… with the singing being incredibly compressed and amateur as shit, but hey, A for effort I guess, the control is much better here, with you having plenty of control over what you are doing and all of your actions feeling just right, and the gameplay is also a major improvement, mixing things up to where it isn’t as ambitious as its predecessor, but this style is executed much better here, which I prefer as a whole.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of either Athena or Sie, go through a set of six very similar stages through several different environments, jump in-between each lane and take out the many enemies that you will find along your journey to prevent them from getting an upper hand on you, get plenty of different power ups, weapons, and special items to help you out along your journey, and take on several different bosses or enemy gauntlets that range from being relatively manageable to the exact kind of difficulty that you would expect from an arcade game. In most aspects, it is your typical arcade platformer, but that is a step up from the last game, which was an abnormal arcade platformer, so I will take it at this point.

If I were to make any comparison of this game to something I have already reviewed in the past, I would say that it is a more flashy version of SonSon from Capcom. The game will constantly be scrolling from left to right, and you will need to hop up and down between four different rows to not only take out enemies, but also to get the various different power ups in the game. This definitely isn’t the kind of platformer I like to play, but for the most part, this kind of approach works, and you can cover a lot of ground in these levels before the screen forcibly pushes you to your next destination. In addition, the weapons and power ups that you get while playing this game are pretty fun to mess around with. From the start, you are equipped with a lightning laser shot that can be upgraded to get bigger and do more damage, as well as these spinning orbs that will surround you whenever you are on the ground. Not only do these act as a shield from incoming projectiles, which really helps in plenty of cases, but you can also throw them at enemies to do more damage and to break blocks quicker, making some sections a breeze when you are caught in a jiff.

In terms of actual new weapons that you can get, the sword makes a return from the previous game, and it is a lot more useful this time, because not only can you use it to slash your way through enemies, but it also helps break a lot of the bricks in the level much faster, allowing you to find more items and to get a move on in the stage. But none of that compares to the best power up that you can get in the whole game, where if your energy bar is full and you find a big green egg in the level, you can turn into a whole ass phoenix, able to fly all around the stage and set your enemies ablaze with your fire breath. Unfortunately, this form is temporary, as it does go away upon beating the stage you are currently in, or if you get hit too many times, but it is still fun to just decimate everything in your way with this transformation.

Naturally though, since this is an Athena game we are talking about here, it has several issues that I was not that big of a fan of. Arcade syndrome is present in this title, and while things start out pretty smoothly, and you can build up plenty of support to protect yourself, by the last couple of levels, there will be enemies and projectiles flying around everywhere at you, to where it feels impossible to beat the game without at least a couple of credits on stand by, which does kinda suck. That’s not the only aspect of difficulty in this game though, as while the scrolling of the stage is slow enough to where you won’t feel like you constantly have to hold down the right stick to not die, there can be plenty of instances where you will get ambushed by an enemy or so in a corner, and due to the fact the screen is constantly moving, you have no choice but to die just to get a move on, and that shit always blows, no matter what kind of game it comes from.

And finally, while there are plenty of power ups that do help you out and make you stronger, there are also several power downs, taking away whatever you got for yourself and leaving you extremely vulnerable. There will be these red beams with skulls on them that will drain all of the energy from your meter, not only making you less stronger, but also giving you very little chance to transform into your phoenix form or get better equipment, which especially sucks when you don’t see it coming until it is too late. That doesn’t even compare to the worst power down, the golden skull, which upon contact takes away EVERYTHING from your arsenal. Your sword, your orbs, your upgrades, all of it: gone. It is absolutely painful to run into one of these, especially in some instances where, again, you don’t see it coming until it is too late, and you end up feeling like a chump as a result.

Overall, despite the difficulty in certain areas, the power downs, and the scrolling getting in the way of your enjoyment at times, Psycho Soldier was still a good game that I am glad that I checked out, excelling in every area that Athena fumbled in through several means, and providing you with a fun and engaging time that I would say is worth checking out for a good while or so before moving onto something else. I would recommend it not only for those who liked the original Athena, but also for those who HATED that game as well, because while this isn’t a masterpiece by any means, it does still manage to be more competent and enjoyable then that piece of shit ever managed to be. It’s too bad though that, after this game, we would never see any hint of a third game in the Athena series ever again………….. until 12 years later, that is. Because I guess the demand for another one of these games was just too high at that point, clearly.

Game #545

12 years on from the strange, incomplete original, DD2 is more of the same, uneasily sitting between the uncompromising Souls series & more conventional narrative ARPGs. At times evoking a desolate offline MMO, DD2 is at its best when out in the wilds, the sun setting at your back & two or more beasts landing on the path ahead, all Arising out of dynamic systems.

The main questline unfortunately does not play to these strengths, with much of Act I confined to the capital & some really dull writing. Fortunately, writing does not maketh a game, and side-quests that take you out into the unreasonably huge map are much more interesting, and really need to be sought out in the crowds and corners of the world. Keeping track of these with the bizarre quest tracker is uneven and obtuse: you’re either reading the landscape and tracing clues or just beating your head against a wall figuring out what the game requires of you.

Dragon’s Dogma 2 is singular, not quite fully realised, a beautifully rendered physics-heavy oddity. The art direction is profoundly generic, but so deceptively understated it at times resembles a Ray Harryhausen film, full of weight, movement and character. DD2 makes you feel like you have friends, albeit stupid friends, who'd throw themselves off a cliff for a view of yonder.

Over the course of time, specific genres in video games have become staples of the industry, to where we wouldn’t be able to imagine it without them nowadays. Platformers, adventure games, metroidvanias, first-person shooters, visual novels, and of course, role-playing games, or RPGs are just a few of the genres that continue to be relevant to this very day, through brand new releases that either try to reinforce what the genre is capable of delivering, or even ones that try to elevate the genre to new heights that weren’t thought possible before. However, it wasn’t always like this, for some genres like RPGs weren’t always as big of a staple on the industry as they are now, in America anyways, being outshined by other genres like platformers, shmups, and fighting games at every turn. Some developers would take notice of this, and as a result, they would try to make these types of games more “accessible” to audiences in these territories, all for the better… and for the worst. One such instance of this would be with one odd-ball of a title known as Final Fantasy Mystic Quest.

At this point in time, Squaresoft, the primary developers of the Final Fantasy series, had been working towards making RPGs more accessible through audiences in several ways, such as with the release of Final Fantasy IV in the US being noticeably much easier than the original version, because Americans just can’t handle a game with normal difficulty! They are too stupid, obviously! With this mindset in mind after changing up that title like that, they would then go onto making Mystic Quest, the first side game in the series that was specifically made with the U.S. market in mind, which, as we have seen from games like ActRaiser 2, isn’t exactly the best mindset to have when you are making anything. But nevertheless, the game was released, and has gone onto having a divisive reputation ever since. I only played through the game for the first time a few months ago, and from that experience, I can say that, as a whole, the game is… ok. It definitely has some interesting ideas and quirks that do make it stand out from the rest, but it is primarily a repetitive and sluggish experience, one that never elevates much further then what you are presented with.

The story is, appropriately, extremely basic, where a young adventurer by the name of Benjamin has his village destroyed seemingly out of nowhere, and he is informed by a strange old man that, because of this, he must fulfill the “knight’s prophecy”, where he must travel across the four continents, gather the four crystals, and use them to defeat the demon king, so Benjamin then sets out to do just that, which is a very basic premise, one that is way simpler then what FFIV gave us, but it does fall in line with previous FF games, and it is as simple as they are wanting, so I guess I can excuse it. The graphics are good, having plenty of good monster and dungeon designs, but a lot of it does feel uncreative and artificial, much like the rest of this game, the music is pretty good, having plenty of great tracks that I enjoyed listening to like the battle theme, but it doesn’t quite reach the heights of previous games’ soundtracks, and the gameplay/control is very familiar to those who have played any other Final Fantasy game before this, except now it is much more simplistic to the point where a toddler could play this game and have an easy time with it.

The game is a traditional turn-based RPG, where you primarily take control of Benjamin, go across a vast overworld through four different continents, talk to the many inhabitants of the world who will either give you helpful hints/advice or help you on your journey in some way, find plenty of items that you can use to either upgrade your defense, mobility, or attack, purchase items from the shop, or heal yourself whenever you need to, and naturally, get into random battles, where you will attack your opponent using either your main weapon or whatever spells or items you have lying around in your pockets, gain experience points, and level up to increase your stats. Any RPG veteran knows this set-up by heart, and they will be able to get used to how this game works pretty quickly… in fact, too quickly, if you ask me, and while a lot of it is passable and appealing to said veterans of the genre, it is also completely shallow in its execution in many areas.

If I were to describe this game in one sentence, I would say it is a Final Fantasy game made for babies. Everything about the game, which we have seen time and time again from previous games in the series, has been extremely simplified and dumbed down for the player, which could aid less experienced players along, yes, but it also becomes mind-numbing and unengaging as a result, therefore making it tedious to trek through. Some stuff in the game remains the same, such as walking through towns and dungeons, talking to people, buying items from the shops, and sleeping at inns, so that is all well and good, but in terms of the raw gameplay, the meat and potatoes of what any player would come to an RPG for, that has all been completely changed around for the worse.

Starting off, we have the overworld of the game, which is no longer a vast open land that you can explore freely to see what kinds of locations and creatures you can find, but instead, it has turned into a world map from a Mario game. You travel from location to location with nothing in-between, which does make things faster and more convenient, yes, but it also completely removes any sense of an adventure or its grand scale from this entire journey, making it feel empty and lifeless. The same can be said about the battles themselves, which are no longer random, but instead, every single enemy you can fight in this game appears on the map, to where a lot of the time, you can simply avoid them if you don’t feel like fighting them. Not only that, but instead of encountering enemies while walking along the overworld, you now have these designated enemy spaces, where you can fight 10 different battles in the row to get a certain reward.

Once again, this is a very beginner-friendly approach to something you would typically find in one of these games, which I am all for, but the problem with this is, to make up for this, they spam the fuck out of these enemies, especially in later parts of the game. If you choose to fight every single creature so that you can get as strong as possible (which I tend to do in most RPGs), then you will be spending hours just fighting these random enemies over and over and over again, each one dealing out the same EXP every time, and it is, once again, an absolute slog to go through. Yeah, you can avoid plenty of these fights, but there will be many instances where you CAN’T avoid these fights at all, and will be forced to take on every single thing in your way, and you can imagine how fun that would be.

And speaking of which, the battles themselves aren’t that much better than what you find outside of them. The Active Time Battle system is gone from this game, and we are back to the traditional turn-based system, and it works pretty much how you would expect it to, with the only real difference in this being how the perspective is shifted from the back rather than the side. That is cool and all, but what makes these battles so boring would be because of, again, how simplistic they are. The enemies barely do anything that’ll cause too much harm for you, and even if they do, you can just easily remedy that in a matter of seconds, given how much money you are given to purchase potions and elixirs for healing and revive spells, and the only thing you need to do in order to win these battles is just to spam the attack button and then wait until you win. Not all battles are like this, but it is rare you will find a fight that needs a little more strategy then that to win, and while this is, again, beginner friendly, it is still extremely mind-numbing and boring, especially with the previously mentioned abundance of foes that you will need to take on, a lot of the time at once.

However, with all that being said, I can’t say in good conscience that this game is bad, because it really isn’t. It lacks any of the complexity and innovation that previous Final Fantasy games had, and it can be a chore to go through, but it does manage to accomplish the one goal that it sets out to accomplish: being an RPG for beginners. I could definitely see someone who isn’t really familiar with RPGs at all being able to sit down, play this game, and have a good time with it, even if it wouldn’t be my first recommendation for someone who isn’t all too familiar with the genre. In addition, while a lot of the gameplay features here have been dumbed or are just not that fun to deal with, I do like some of the mechanics and ideas that this game tries out.

For one thing, in a lot of the dungeons and towns you go through, you can interact with various things using your weapons that will help you proceed forward, such as with cutting down trees with your axe, pressing buttons with your sword, or climbing along walls using your claw. It doesn’t offer too much variety, but it does offer some more mobility through these dungeons that hasn’t been seen previously, which is nice. Not to mention, you can jump as well, which also increases the mobility you have in a lot of areas, and as a personal note, I also like how, whenever you are dealing damage to an enemy, their appearance changes depending on how much health they have. It isn’t much, but it is a neat little touch that makes battles somewhat more enjoyable.

Overall, despite its beginner-friendly nature and some interesting ideas that I enjoyed messing around with, Final Fantasy Mystic Quest is one of the most bland and basic RPGs that I have ever played in my life, one that doesn’t offer anything revolutionary or interesting for this series or genre as a whole, and instead ends up being a repetitive slog that you can beat in a single day if you spam through a lot of the fights by just attacking over and over again with no thought. I would recommend it for those who are HUGE RPG fanatics, or for those of you who aren’t familiar with them and want to give the genre a shot, because despite all my gripes with it, who knows: it could potentially become a new favorite of yours. Although, if you are asking me, I would recommend a Pokemon game for your first RPG, preferably FireRed or LeafGreen. Those games at least have adorable creatures you can catch and battle with. This game has some creatures that you could say are adorable, but I can’t catch them……..

Game #543

(Part 4 of 4)

Y’all ever heard of this weird-ass thing called the Sega Channel? It was apparently this service that was around in the mid-90s that allowed owners of the Sega Genesis to play games on an online service for a monthly fee, which eliminated the need to go out and get the game for yourself if you don’t want to pay a full $60 for a game that was complete trash. It was a neat little idea, and it did last for a good while before shutting down, but while it did have plenty of benefits for owners of a Genesis, it also had plenty of costs as well. On one hand, you do get access to plenty of new Sega Genesis games and demos to play to your heart's content, but on the other hand, there were certain games that were made for the Sega Genesis that were released EXCLUSIVELY for the Sega Channel… for us Americans, anyway. This made it so that, once the Sega Channel was ultimately shut down in 1998, you could never play these games anymore, unless you wanted to go out of your way to buy a foreign copy of the game along with a Mega Drive, but who has the time, patience, and money for that? This meant that plenty of people would miss out on some truly great Genesis titles for the longest time, including today’s subject, Mega Man: The Wily Wars.

Nowadays, there have been several re-releases of this game to where you can easily play the game if you have access to it, but for the longest time, fans in America wouldn’t be able to officially play this game for the longest time, and I remember that this KILLED me inside back in the day. Knowing what this game was, I desperately wanted to get my hands on it for the longest time back then, but I couldn’t, seeing how it was only available in a completely different part of the world. It was only around when I was 15-16, I wanna say, and I went to a video game convention happening in my town where I found someone was selling bootleg cartridges of The Wily Wars that I finally managed to snag a copy for myself, and all was right with the world. It was worth it too, because even after so many years, The Wily Wars is still a pretty great game, one that gives plenty for fans of the series to play through and appreciate, while also providing new content and ideas that were great to see in action.

For those of you who are unaware, this game is pretty much the Mega Man equivalent of Super Mario All-Stars, where it takes the original trilogy of Mega Man games from the NES and completely remakes them for the Sega Genesis, featuring a new coat of 16-bit graphics and music right alongside it, as well as save points, which are not only pretty helpful, but they also make those dumbass grid passwords obsolete (and the whole world cheered). All of the games present here work pretty much exactly like they did back on the NES: they are all still 2D platformers where you run, jump, and shoot your way through plenty of different foes, obstacles, and bosses, gather plenty of different special weapons and upgrades to assist you on your journey, and question how this super-powered fighting robot is somehow unable to stop this crotchety old man from doing evil things. So, needless to say, if you enjoyed your time with any of the original NES versions of these games, then you will most likely enjoy these versions as well.

Really though, there’s not much else I can say in terms of the improvements between these versions of these games and the originals. Unlike with Mario All-Stars, The Wily Wars doesn’t really change anything too drastic about the games themselves in terms of save points, win conditions, or the content that is present, which isn’t a bad thing at all, but for those that are looking for more stuff to mess around with in these three original games, they aren’t going to get that here. They are just 16-bit versions of those original games, which, in my opinion, is still pretty great, because not only can I still enjoy these games in the way that they are supposed to be, but now they look much nicer than before, and looking at all the different sprites for all the characters, enemies, and bosses is nice to day the least, even if some… aren’t quite as good as others (Rock should really put sunscreen on before going out in the sun for that long).

However, despite how much I still enjoyed these renditions of the classic games, I can’t say they are perfect, as there are several issues that do hold them back from being the definitive version of these games, such as the music. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily say that a lot of the music remixed in this game is bad, and there are some pretty great tracks to be heard in this game, but since they are on the Genesis, most of them are accompanied by that good ol’ Genesis twang, so if you aren’t a fan of that, then you will hate listening to this game. Secondly, there is the issue with slowdown, which has been a recurring issue ever since the original Mega Man, to be fair, but here I think is where it is the absolute worst. There are plenty of sections in these remakes where it will slow down where it was never meant to, and while in some instances like with the Yellow Devil fight, it makes things easier, most of the time it isn’t pleasant to look at. Not to mention, there are also some little things that bug me as well, such as there being no difficulty option for Mega Man 2, and whenever you beat any boss, after the jingle plays, Mega Man stands there like an idiot for a good 10 seconds before teleporting out of the stage, almost as if he is waiting for his cue card.

Of course though, for those of you who know The Wily Wars by heart, then you would know that these remakes aren't all that this collection has to offer. Right alongside the remakes of Mega Man 1-3, there is also a new game mode known as Wily Tower, which can only be accessed after you have beaten the main three games. Let me tell you right now, THIS right here is the main reason why anyone should play this version of these games, as Wily Tower is the best part of the entire package. It is essentially a smaller Mega Man title bundled in with the other three, as it features its own entirely new story (and by that, I mean Wily is a dick, and you gotta stop him again), new stages, new challenges, and new bosses that you won’t find in any other game in the series. All on its own, it is really fun, not only because of all the different challenges you take on and the gameplay still being as tight as ever, but seeing all the different enemies and hazards of the main three games clashed together in this mode is pretty neat to see. Not to mention, since this mode was specifically made for the Genesis, the music doesn’t suffer from the same issues that the main games suffer from… at least, not by much, anyway.

But none of that even comes close to what is the main draw of this mode, and that would be how weapons and special items are handled. From the beginning of the mode, you are given access to all of the weapons and special items from Mega Man 1-3, but of course, since there are so many, you aren’t given the ability to carry all of them at once. Instead, before each stage, you are given the option to customize your loadout, choosing which weapons and special items that you can take into a stage, while also being able to swap out your options for whatever stage comes next. This, in my opinion, is a GENIUS mechanic, because not only does it give the player plenty of opportunities to experiment with the items they have access to, seeing what loadout is best for them, but it also allows for plenty of replayability, just to see what works best in what stages. It really does suck that this kind of feature never returns for any of the other games in the series, because it is that good, and I would say that I hope they bring this feature back for a future game in the series… but that would imply that Capcom would make another game in the series at all.

Overall, despite some issues with the music, some instances of slowdown getting in the way, and how I wouldn’t say these are the definitive versions of the classic three games, this is a fantastic collection of remakes of the original trilogy, one that any Mega Man fanatic like myself would love to play not just because of how well these games still hold up, but also because of the equally fantastic Wily Tower mode, not only providing a fresh, new experience for fans of the series, but also by doing things that the series had never done before and since this game. I would absolutely recommend it for those who are fans of the Mega Man series, or even for those who couldn’t really get into the original versions of these classic games, because while the games themselves remain mostly unchanged, the new 16-bit coat of paint and the inclusion of saving may just be all you need to give these games another proper shot. It’s just a shame though that this was initially locked into a subscription service for us Americans for so long… but hey, they at least brought it back!.... and locked it behind another subscription service……. but hey, it’s on the Sega Genesis Mini!...... that is only available in limited quantities…………………. I hate video games.

Collection #2/Game #536

Some great ideas realised fully and some great ideas that don't quite land, but a game full of great ideas nonetheless. A game that requires you to meet it on its own terms and it won't surprise me to find out that a lot of people simply can't do that - hell, I bounced off it hard upon its original release and only just got around to pushing through to the end of it.

If you can, you'll find a game that manages to feel truly unique due to the way it forces you to accept consequence and make concrete choices or by the way you can try to circumnavigate these to get your desired outcome. Just be prepared for a bit of a slog during the first half of the adventure whilst you get a true foothold in the world.

Also - that is SOME final act, isn't it?

(Part 3 of 4)

It’s no secret to anyone at this point that, in terms of Mega Man games, not only was Mega Man 2 a massive improvement over the original game in just about every way, but it also managed to do gangbusters for the series, which definitely caught Capcom’s attention after the original game didn’t sell well at all. Since this game managed to become such a massive success, they decided that they needed to go all in on this franchise now, not only creating many more games for the future to be released every year, but also to make Mega Man Capcom’s own primary mascot for the foreseeable future. This was great news and all, but this eventually lead to a pretty stressful development cycle when it came to the next game in the series, apparently due to not only having a director that “didn’t understand Mega Man” quite like the last one, but also due to deadlines not being met often, essentially making the final product an incomplete game. Nevertheless, the show had to go on, and thus, one year after the previous game, the world was then given Mega Man 3.

Much like the second game, this game also managed to be a pretty big hit, selling over a million copies, and it has garnered a pretty positive reception over time, but for me, from what I have seen, there have been plenty of people who have the exact opposite opinion. I have heard plenty people sing this game’s praises right alongside Mega Man 2 as being one of the best games in the entire series, and on the completely opposite side of the coin, I’ve heard people say it is a complete misfire, being one of the worst games in the series, and just not that fun to play at all. I can definitely see why some people would have that opinion about this game, but for me, while I don’t think it is as good as Mega Man 2, I would say it is still a wonderful entry in the series, bringing plenty of new elements that would become a staple for the series, and still providing plenty of fun challenges to take on and conquer at the same time.

The story is a bit different from the previous game while remaining mostly the same, where one day, Dr. Wily appears to Dr. Light to say that he is now reformed, wanting to now help make the world a more peaceful place rather than trying to take it over, and as if the last two games never happened, Dr. Light accepts his request, and thus, the two of them start working on a new peacekeeping robot known as Gamma. During the development of this new robot, eight new Robot Masters were developed to help mine the materials needed to create this robot, but all of a sudden, they start to go haywire and start to spread chaos wherever they go, so once again, Mega Man needs to set out to take them down and see who is behind all of this (as if it isn’t obvious enough). It is definitely a step-up from the last game’s story, even if it isn’t anything much more complex then “hey, go kill these robot assholes” again, which I am fine with, but it is just worth pointing out.

The graphics, once again, aren’t too different from the previous game, but they still manage to hold up extremely well after over 30 years, and all of the sprites for the enemies, characters, and bosses still look wonderful, the music is fantastic once again, having plenty of rocking tunes for you to bob your head to as you are going through plenty of these stages, with this being just one of the many great songs that you will hear throughout this game, and the control/gameplay is also very similar to the previous two games, but not only does it manage to still feel pretty great to play and conquer, but there are several new additions that do expand Mega Man’s capabilities, and they are pretty fun to use.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man yet again, go through plenty of different levels that all culminate with one final trek through Dr. Wily’s fortress, run, jump, and shoot your way through many different enemies, obstacles, and platforming challenges that will test you in plenty of ways, gather plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, E-Tanks (which I totally didn’t forget to mention in the last review), and additional upgrades to help you out along your journey, and take on plenty of fun and somewhat challenging bosses, including the eight Robot Masters who, upon defeat, each give you a brand new weapon to use against many other foes you will encounter later down the road. It is your standard Mega Man experience through and through, but thankfully, there are some new changes to see this time around, both in terms of new upgrades for Mega Man, and new characters that would become regulars in the series, which does make the game as a whole very fun to go through when paired with everything else.

As if he was a real big fan of Strider, Mega Man now has the ability to slide in this game, not only being able to not get through narrow gaps to reach hidden goodies and other parts of a stage, but it can also be used a way to dodge attacks from certain foes, making some enemy encounters and boss fights a hell of a lot easier. I’m sure anyone who has ever played the classic Mega Man games to the point of becoming an expert at them pretty much uses this move non-stop whenever playing these games, because it real is a wonderful new technique, as it not only is extremely helpful in all of those circumstances I just mentioned earlier, but you can also use it to get through stages a hell of a lot faster, as it is quicker then just simply walking to the right.

In addition to this, you also have a new pal that joins you throughout this whole game, Rush the dog, who is the best good boy in the history of good boys, and I will fight you on the streets if you say otherwise. Not only is he adorable, but he can also assist you through many parts of the stages, whether it be by helping you reach higher places, flying across bottomless pits to reach your destination, or even by turning into a fucking submarine and traverse you through water easier. While some of these tools aren’t as useful as others, as a whole, Rush is a wonderful addition to not just this game, but the series as a whole, and he is always fun to use whenever he shows up in one of these games… despite how they nerf some of his moves in later games (why did they have to ruin the Rush Jet like that).

And finally, we have yet another new character that plays a big role in this game, Break Man, AKA Blues, AKA Proto Man, Mega Man’s brother who you will often encounter in this game while going through several of the stages, often accompanied by his classic whistle tune. Whenever you hear this, you will then be subjected to facing off against him in what should be a fearsome battle… if it wasn’t piss easy. Seriously, all he does for every single fight is walk from left to right, jump up slightly and shoot at you, which not only makes him pathetic, but it also makes these encounters boring. That’s really the only purpose he serves in this game, other than helping you out at the end of the game, but much like with Rush, Proto Man is a great addition to not just this game, but this series as a whole, and while he doesn’t do much in several titles later down the road, I wouldn’t be able to imagine the series without him.

Now, despite all of the good changes that were brought into this game, there are also several problems that this game has that does drag it down, and that can all be seen in the second half of the game. After defeating the eight Robot Masters for the first time, you are then forced to go through four of the stages you just completed again, only this time they are now harder than before, and in these stages, you will encounter Doc Robot, a recurring boss that will fight you using all of the weapons from the Robot Masters in Mega Man 2. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the first of plenty of instances where these games will pad themselves out, trying to extend game time when they really don’t need to, and I have never been a fan of these segments whatsoever. Yeah, they are still fun and challenging enough to go through, but you can’t help but feel like it is all a waste of time, and I never look forward to these stages whenever I do go back to play this game.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t get much better from there, as the Wily Fortress that follows up these stages is, without a doubt, the easiest final set of levels that I have ever seen in any Mega Man game. Sure, they do have their fair share of challenges that newcomers would probably struggle with, but not only do they give you plenty of health items and E-Tanks like they are candy, but the bosses that you encounter, for the most part, are piss easy, requiring the most basic of strategies to beat, and this even applies to the final boss of the game as well. The only real challenging part of this part of the game would be the fight against the Yellow Devil, returning from the original game, but even then, he is nowhere near as hard as he was in the original game, and since you now have plenty of ways to avoid his attacks and to take him down, he shouldn’t be that much of a problem whatsoever.

Overall, despite how the game pads itself out for the sake of it and the ridiculously easy final set of levels, Mega Man 3 still manages to be a pretty solid game all around, giving plenty of more options for you to traverse through levels that are fun to experiment with, while also continuing to expand the universe and gameplay to where it is still fun to blast through and learn about, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would definitely recommend it for those who are fans of the previous two games, or for those who are just fans of Mega Man in general, because while it does certainly have its problems, this is still one of the best games in the series that you can get from the 8-bit era. Also, I got some good news: they fixed the cover art!...... sort of. Most of it is good, but then we have Mega Man's face, which looks like he is thinking about doing some of the most devious shit. Not to mention, he's shooting Spark Man right in his Spark Balls, so now he will never be able to have kids.

Remake #10

I think the most bewildered I've ever been about an average rating on this site is Mega Man 8 being .2 below Mega Man 7.

That might not seem like much but consider how vast the disparity is between these two games. One is this gorgeous, wonderful attempt at revitalizing classic Mega Man for a new generation without compromising on the key elements that made the series so beloved in the first place. The other is Mega Man 7, a game thrown together in three months that (while miraculously stable) was rendered dull and downright messy for it. At no point playing Mega Man 7 did I think Capcom was doing anything notable or worthwhile with the formula to justify it being an SNES game, not that rushing it to market would afford the team enough space to innovate anyway. Mega Man 8 has a soccer ball. You couldn't do that on old consoles!

Alright, I'm being somewhat facetious, but I'm not kidding when I say Mega Man 7 and Mega Man 8 represent the classic series at its wort and best, respectively. Not that I always felt that way. When I first played this game on the Mega Man Anniversary Collection way back in 2004, I hated it. I was filtered out by "jump jump, slide slide" and am adult enough now to admit it, but I was also one of those people who was very dismissive over the game due to its cutscenes. I was 16 and stuck in a sad state of mind where all the media I enjoyed - including Mega Man - had to be treated with enough self-seriousness as to not embarrass me by proxy. It's taken me almost 20 years, but I now find stuff like "doctah whywee" to be very silly and fun and part of the appeal of Mega Man 8, and to correct that with a more competent dub would be akin to stealing Mega Man's soul.

Even if you still hold some animosity towards the goofy cutscenes or the jump/slide levels (which I beat first try on four hours of sleep and energized by a single can of NOS, which means they can't be that bad), I still feel that the rest of the game is a brilliant refinement of what Mega Man was up to that point. Everything just feels better than it ever has here. You have more control over Mega Man, levels are intricate and their aesthetic design is vibrant and imaginative, and robot masters are at their peak both in terms of visual and mechanical design.

I think weapon powers in Mega Man games are at their best when they also provide distinct utility for navigation, and that basically describes every weapon in Mega Man 8. Flash Bombs can light up dark areas, Tornado Hold effectively replaces R. Coil, Thunder Claw can be used as a grappling hook, and Astro Crush serves as a powerful screen-clearer, to name a few. I paid some lip to it earlier, but I also love the soccer ball power-up. For the most part it's not terribly useful, which is kind of appropriate considering how soon you get it, but it's fun kicking that thing around and watching it ricochet all over a room and take out smaller enemies. In general, I think the weapon powers just feel really good to use against enemies, especially bosses. Tangling Clown Man up with his own limbs thanks to a well-timed Tornado Hold, or annihilating Dr.Wily's Dr. Whywee's ship with a cluster of Flash Bombs results in some pretty good feedback.

My only real complaint is with the item shop, and it's barely a complaint so much as it's a matter of personal preference. You can buy items between levels using bolts, which are few and far between and generally require some ingenuity to obtain, meaning you'll likely only be able to afford so much. Some of the ways you can augment your arm cannon are cool and upgrades to the amount of weapon energy and health you're able to recover are invaluable, but I find scouring levels for bolts to be less engaging than Mega Man X's system of locating armor parts. Not only do I feel Mega Man X is better about incentivizing exploration, but having the armor pieces reflect Mega Man's growth is more interesting visually than dropping a new icon on the second page of the inventory screen.

Honorable mention to the robot master contest submissions being shown during the end credits. It's really cute and something I wish was present in the other games, though hardware limitations understandably made that impossible or at least too difficult/compromised to be worth it. It's neat seeing them side-by-side with their final designs, which of course had to drop certain elements in order to achieve a more unified design, but they're still undeniably the same characters, and I can't imagine how cool it must've been for these kids to see their robot masters in the actual game. At the risk of treading old ground, I think it's such a shame you could never do a contest like this again.

My journey back through the classic Mega Man series is nearly over. I'm going to take a brief detour into the two fighting games included in the Anniversary collection and then wrap up with Mega Man 11, and I might give the Sega Saturn version of Mega Man 8 a shot at some point in the near future, too. I hear Tengu Man's stage is totally different and it adds two previous robot masters, and I just plain like MM8 enough to do a second playthrough just to experience those small changes.

Great game. Better than Mega Man 7. Shouldn't even be up for debate. I want to confiscate and immolate every copy of that game in existence and then subject everyone to the Mega Man 8 draft and force them to play this until they like it, and if they don't then it's straight to prison!

(Part 2 of 4)

It may be pretty outdated compared to future titles in the series, and it does have a lot of problems weighing down, but for how fun it was and from my own personal experiences with it, I still consider the original Mega Man to be a really fun game that I can return to at any time, and I would still have a pretty good time with it. And hey, I’m not alone in thinking that, as many critics at the time the game was released agreed with that sentiment, but despite how critically successful the game was, it didn’t help out in its sales, to where after not making the numbers that they had wanted, Capcom was ready to move on from Mega Man and focus on other titles instead(sounds familiar, doesn’t it?). However, Akira Kitamura, the original director and creator of the series, had wanted to make a sequel either way, and after requesting permission to create a sequel several times, Capcom would finally allow him and his team to do so, on one condition: they had to develop it simultaneously with all of the other titles they wanted them to work on, meaning that the game essentially needed to be made on their free time. They accepted these terms, and thus, just one and a half years later, we would then get this sequel in the form of Mega Man 2.

If you have heard anything about Mega Man at any point in your life, chances are it has something to do with this game, as out of all of the titles in the entire series, this is one many hold in the highest regards. It is considered to be one of, if not THE best game in the entire series, not only because it perfected the original formula to become much more fun, addicting, and approachable than before, but also, until Mega Man 11 came out, it was the best selling game in the entire series, selling over 1.5 million copies, which, for an NES game, is pretty damn impressive. While I wouldn’t consider it to be the best game of the classic series, and while I think the hype it gets maybe a liiiiiiiiiiitle too overblown, I can safely say that the game definitely deserves the reputation it got, as it is absolutely fantastic. It may not have some of the additions that later games would bring to the series, and it may not change much from the original, but it still manages to be incredibly fun all the same, and it stands as the best entry the series has ever had on the NES.

The story is fairly basic compared to what the original game had set up, where Dr. Wily is back at it yet again, this time with his own set of eight Robot Masters specifically programmed to cause chaos and destruction across the world, so it is up to Mega Man to set out once again to take him down, which is a pretty basic plot for a sequel, but hey, it’s a good enough story that you can easily get behind, and that’s all you really need. The graphics are almost identical to that of the original game, except it is not a lot more colorful, varied, and visually pleasing with the designs of the characters, enemies, and bosses, so that’s good, the music is incredible, having some of the best music that any NES game has to offer, and I only need to show you one song in particular to prove my point (even if it is an obvious choice), and the control/gameplay is almost identical to that or the original game as well, except not only is that traction situation from the original taken care of here, but the gameplay is also much more fun as well, even if not much has changed.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man once again, go through a set of eight main levels before taking on a final Dr. Wily castle full of its own set of levels, run, jump, and shoot your way through many more obstacles, enemies, and platforming challenges using whatever best applies to the situation, get plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, and special upgrades to your aresenal to help you out along the way, and take on plenty of skillful opponents, including the eight Robot Masters, so that you can gain their weapons and use them for your own use for whatever may lie ahead. Most of what you get here is pretty much exactly the same as the original game, so for those of you who liked the original game, you will be able to jump right into this one and love it, because not only is it much better designed and more fun than the original, but the small changes that were made do add a lot to the overall experience.

Like I mentioned before, the game feel a lot better to control, with your movement, jumping, and shooting feeling just right as you go through all of these levels, and many of the challenges that you will face are simple enough to approach, while not feeling like a pain in the ass to get through (with one or two exceptions here or there). In addition to this, the game manages to be more approachable as well, not only with the inclusion of a brand new password system, but also with the option to choose your own difficulty for the game… at least, in the western version of the game, that is. For Japan, they only got one standard difficulty, but for us over here, the normal difficulty was marked as Difficult Mode, and right alongside that is an easy mode that is labeled as Normal Mode. Personally, I don’t think the Difficult Mode is that much harder than the Normal Mode, but I do like the fact that the option is there at all, making this one of the best games to start with in the franchise, as well as one that is great for replayability. There’s not really much more I can say that has changed from the original, but despite the lack of major change, the game still has plenty of fun challenges, exciting boss fights, and plenty of challenges to get through that feel satisfying to conquer.

Despite how heavily praised this game is as a whole, I wouldn’t say it is perfect by any means. First of all, like the original game, the special weapons, for me anyway, aren’t too useful outside of boss fights, with the only real exception being the Metal Blade, a weapon that is extremely overpowered and can easily be used to take care of practically any situation. As for all of the other weapons though, they are either completely situational, or just not that handy to use. Aside from that though, there is one other part of the game that I have never liked that much, and that would be Wily Stage 3. The stage itself isn’t too bad, but it does feature some annoying elements, such as these invisible gaps in the floor in the beginning of the stage, these long conveyor belts that you have to ride on in order to make it down to the end, and to top it all off, it also has the worst boss in the entire game, the Boobeam Trap. The boss itself isn’t too deadly, with it just being a bunch of orbs on the walls that sometimes shoot at you, but the problem is that in order to defeat it, you need to use the Crash Bomber, a weapon with very little ammunition, meaning you have to navigate around this room and use it only when absolutely necessary, which means that if you end up using it too many times, you are FUCKED, and you have to get a game over just so that you can get your ammo back. Yeah, the rest of the game is aces, but I don’t see how anyone can defend a boss like that.

Overall, despite a lack of major changes and Wily Stage 3 being a giant stain on this otherwise perfect game, Mega Man 2 is still a fantastic sequel to the original game, and a wonderful game all on its own, bringing plenty of much needed fixes and touches to what the original game had introduced, while also still being very fun and satisfying to blast through. I would absolutely recommend it for those who are fans of the Mega Man series, as well as those who are looking for a place to start, because aside from other entries like Mega Man 11, this is one of the best places that you could start and get accustomed to what this series has to offer. Although, before we end this off, I have to bring up the cover art that the game originally had, which isn’t as bad as the original, but… jesus christ, why did it take so long for these to get good? My man looks like he is a cosplayer rather than a super fighting robot, and Dr. Light is fondling Crash Man’s ass, which nobody needs to see!

Remake #9

(Part 1 of 4)

For a good while in my life as a player of video games, I was very close-minded when it came to what I did play. Most of the time, I wanna say between ages 7-13 or 14, I was primarily interested in a few franchises, those being Mario, Kirby, Sonic, Pokemon, and Halo, with a few others sprinkled in here or there, but when it came to everything else out there, I wanted nothing to do with any of them. That is, until I got my hands on The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, a game that I would end up growing to love, and as such, gave me the mindset of checking out what other great series of games I had been missing out on up to that point. Eventually, I stumbled onto a certain game series that I had no clue about before, and I just decided to download the first game in the series on my Wii U to try it out.

I booted up, got into the first stage, and I got absolutely DESTROYED as a result. I was getting killed by the first enemies I saw, with no proper way of counteracting them, unable to get away, with seemingly no solution in sight. Usually, at that point, I would probably have just given up and moved onto something else, but at that point, there was… something in me that kept me from giving up, kind of like a spark of determination. I went back to it, figured out what was going on, got past that challenge, and then proceeded to beat the entire stage, which would then lead me to conquering the other challenges in the game, getting rewards, and eventually beating the entire game. It was such an invigorating feeling, one that I hadn’t felt that strongly in such a long time. I had felt like I had truly conquered a harrowing challenge, which then led me to playing many of the other games in the series, and as a result, I would go on to considering this franchise to be my favorite of all time. That game that started all of this was, obviously, the original Mega Man.

Now, ever since that point, I have become an expert of old-school video games, a connoisseur of nostalgia, an addict to 8-bit bullshit, and I have played many other games as well, to the point where I can see that, as a game all on its own… Mega Man 1 isn't really that good. There is plenty wrong with it, not only as a starting point to a big franchise, but also a game in general, and I can definitely see now why most people wouldn’t be able to get into it. However, from my own personal experience, I can’t say I hate this game for even a fraction of a second, as I have so much history with it, and after having played through it over a dozen times, I can say that I still love it now. It definitely doesn’t even come close to the quality of the future titles in the series, but it laid the foundation for what would become the series that I would fawn over for years to come, and even then, I still manage to have a great time with what is given to me here all these years later. But hey, you have probably already heard me say plenty about that in my original review of the game I made a year ago, but that review also kinda fucking sucks, so we are gonna pull a Mario All-Stars and re-review the original trilogy, because I just can’t live with my own shame.

The story is simple on the surface, yet somewhat complex for a video game at the time, where a brilliant scientist by the name of Dr. Light helps usher a new age of robots that help to assist mankind in many endeavors, all thanks to his line of Robot Masters, as well as his own two helpers known as Rock and Roll (........ oh, I get it!). However, one day, all of them start to go haywire and cause destruction all over the world, due to the villainous acts of Dr. Wily, Dr. Light’s old partner, now-turned rival who reprogrammed them to do his bidding. Seeing all of the destruction take place, Rock requests for Dr. Light to convert him into a fighting robot, one that would be able to stop the senseless destruction and to end the villainous reign of Dr. Wily once and for all, and after initially hesitating on the idea, Dr. Light agrees to this, turning Rock into the super fighting robot known as Mega Man, and sending him out to do just that. It isn’t too complicated of a story, but for a game that was released in an era of games where most of their storylines were just “go save this girl” or “go kill this big scary monster”, it is nice seeing something a little bit different and way more interesting, despite how the story itself isn’t told to us in the game.

The graphics are pretty great, having a distinct style that makes it stand out from many other games released on the NES beforehand and since, even if the future games would go onto refining this art style to make it look better, the music is also pretty great, not being as rocking or iconic as later OSTs in the series, but there are still plenty of tunes that does get me nodding along to them and smiling whenever I hear them, even if there are some admittedly basic and boring tracks, the control is pretty good, with the jumping, shooting, and running all feeling great to handle throughout the whole thing, although Mega Man’s traction could’ve definitely been worked on, seeing as he is pretty slippery in this game, and the gameplay is very basic, being your typical jump ‘n shoot platformer of the late 80’s, but, if you ask me, this series manages to take this type of gameplay and perfect it to where it becomes incredibly fun and addicting, and that is all one can really ask for.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man, go through a set ten different levels, most of which you can do in any order that you want, run, jump, and shoot your way through many different enemies of various shapes and sizes, gather plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, and additional upgrades to help you out along the way against whatever dangers you may encounter, take on plenty of bosses, including the six Robot Masters, who will push your skills to the limit if you aren’t prepared for them, and gain plenty of new weapons to use to fight against new foes with, including a fire blast, a bomb you can throw, and an electric shot that is better than any of the other weapons, so you should go stick with that. Most of it is pretty typical for an NES game of that era, but not only does it introduce new elements that weren’t commonplace at the time, such as gaining new weapons from bosses and the ability to choose whatever stage you want to go through first, but it also manages to be fun and challenging in all the right ways… for me, anyway.

I have mentioned before in my review of Wild Guns that simplicity, in many cases, is one of the best approaches one could take to making a game, especially from this era. All you really need is a clear objective, a simple gameplay scheme to get a grasp of, and some great obstacles to overcome to make you feel like you really accomplished something by the end of your journey. That is exactly what the original Mega Man manages to pull off, as well as most of the other classic games in this series. They aren’t complicated games by any means, nor are they the hardest games out there, but they manage to provide gameplay that is simple, satisfying, and addicting as you keep playing, along with plenty of challenges that, while not being the hardest challenges one can find from an NES game, will definitely give any newcomer a hard time, but when you actually do manage to overcome these obstacles, it feels SO REWARDING.

One such instance that always comes to mind for me would have to be the boss fight against the Yellow Devil. Anyone who has played this game can tell you this is easily the hardest boss in the game, and naturally, it took me plenty of attempts to beat him back in the day, due to how erratic he is with his attacks, and how you only have a few short moments to attack him yourself before he goes back to attacking you. Of course, I could’ve just used the pause exploit in order to beat him immediately, but since I’m not a pussy-ass BITCH, I pressed on without said exploit, and now, I can manage to beat him in one shot without taking a single hit. Again, stuff like this feels immensely satisfying whenever you get it right, and this is just one of the many challenges that you will encounter in this game, which are also really fun to go up against and clear through.

With all of that said though, despite how I will defend this game until the day I die, I can’t act like it is perfect by any means, because GOOD LORD, it has plenty of issues. I won’t go through all of them in too much detail, but I will do a lightning round of all of the issues that do hold this game back: there is a point system that has no meaning whatsoever, there is a mandatory item you need to get that you can completely miss if you don’t know what you are doing, there are obnoxious enemies placed everywhere, especially with those big hopping guys located at the end of nearly every stage, the level design is pretty poor in places, which can lead to a lot of frustrating deaths, most of the special weapons aren’t too useful outside of boss fights, the boss fights can either be a pain in the ass or a complete joke, and to top it all off, the original box art for this game is one of the most beautiful pieces of shit that I have ever seen. Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to tell how wonderfully bad it is from that image up there, but if you just take a look at it here, you can see exactly what I mean. All of this does drag the game down quite a bit, and while I myself am not too bothered by most of these issues, I can definitely see why many others do, and needless to say, if you are looking to get into this series, do NOT play this one first. Play Mega Man 11 first, and then go back to this one to see how far we have come ever since then.

Overall, despite the many, MANY flaws this game has, and how almost every game in the series after this makes it look like garbage, I will still always love the original Mega Man not just because of what it did for me, but just for being a fun time in general, having wonderful platforming, fun challenges to take on, and being immensely satisfying to play through even after all this time. I would recommend it for those of you who are big Mega Man fans, as well as those who love old-school 2D platformers in general, because while this one is far from the best of the bunch, it is one that I will always hold a special place for in my heart, and I’m sure plenty of others could find themselves liking it enough as well. But hey, even if you don’t end up liking it when you go through it, that’s ok, because you could always just play the sequel instead, where shit starts to get REALLY good. Speaking of…

Remake #8

The entire project of playing the Gameboy Roman Numeral Megan Mann games in the first place was all leading up to this one. I knew it was 'the one' so to speak. The people who actually played these ones would be like "This is the good one. This one rules." and while I am happy to report that they are correct and I don't think you have to play all the previous games I am glad that I did. This sucker is a victory lap. The team finally had the chance to go all out and make something entirely their own and they did it while also creating a sendoff to the entire MMGB project.

This time around, Mega "The Blue Guy" Man is travelling the solar system to fight a new, original set of bosses themed around the planets (Pluto is still in this is 1994 suckers) and all of the content is original. The music is new and catchy, even if it's not the absolute best soundtrack in the series. The levels do tend to repeat themes of machinery and outer space a lot, but they are now. Keiji Inafune had a hand in the boss designs and they're all a lot of fun. The weapons are all really weird and unique and I gleefully experimented with them, finding lots of uses.

This is helped by the boss weaknesses feeling fairly de-emphasized this time around. There's more than one fight where you just can't have it the first time around no matter what (at least according to what the wiki calls the weaknesses) but some of your other choices will tend to work fairly well.

For plot reasons, the buster itself has been replaced such that the charge shot is now a rocket fist that isn't automatically better than just shooting. This does a TON to improve the combat over a lot of Megas Men with charge shots, and also rocket fists are sweet. You also get a CAT which is only useful in a few places but he's a CAT and listen even if my pfp is not set to my cat as I write this I'm still a cat furry I gotta point out Tango the Cat.

The level designs have also been given that crucial bump into being just fully good without any caveats. The boss fights are complex enough and in the right ballpark of difficulty. There is a scrolling shooter segment that absolutely sucks shit and requires rote memorization but you won't get too hung up on it.

This is the one, kids. It clears the bar of being, if not the absolute best game in the OG Megaman series, then still high up. The same goes for its place in original Gameboy games. This one comes highly recommended.

Alright now where can I get a wonderswan

Man, Nintendo was REALLY leaning in hard on these pointless puzzle games for the Mario franchise, weren’t they? They had something going there with Dr. Mario, I’ll give them that, but then they made Yoshi, a fine enough puzzle game, but one that isn’t engaging enough to where I wanna play it for more then five minutes, and Yoshi’s Cookie, the one that will probably give Yoshi diabetes while also STILL not being engaging enough to make me wanna play for even more than five minutes! There comes a time when, after trying time and time again, you gotta take a step back and realize you have already peaked, and you will never be able to reach that success again. But nonetheless, that didn’t stop them from trying, so for their next attempt, they decided to give the green dino a break, and instead use their good ol’ yellow fat man instead for another experiment, and thus, they created Wario’s Woods.

Like with Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie, I never had any real interest to give this game a proper shot beforehand, primarily because it was another Mario puzzle game from the NES, and I wasn’t really wanting to try it out for fear that it would just be another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. I have been curious about it for a while though, not just because it is a Wario puzzle game, but also because it is the last officially licensed NES game ever released for us in the states, so I wondered how exactly were they going to end off the legacy of such an industry-changing console. Well, now that I have played it, let me tell you then that, they ended it off with… another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. For what we got here, I would say it is a good game, and you could have some fun with it with the right people, but it does fall into a lot of the same problems that both Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie had, with not much else to show for it.

The story is appropriately simple, where Wario takes over the all-too-perfect Peaceful Woods and turns all of the creatures that inhabit them into sinister beasts, so it is up to some random Toad from the Mushroom Kingdom to go in and stop anymore destruction from happening, which is an incredibly stupid premise, but I feel it fits right at home with the game as a whole. The graphics are pretty good, having plenty of great sprites and animations for all the characters and enemies, all feeling like a good way to send off the system it was made for, the music is good enough, having cheery and sinister tracks for whatever is going on at the moment, but none of the tracks are all that memorable, the control is a bit different from what you usually expect in a puzzle game, and it does take some getting used to, which I never really did at the end of it all, and the gameplay is simple enough for a puzzler, taking elements from other puzzle games and sprinkling them all together, for a perfectly average experience.

The game is a mostly typical puzzle game, where you take control of that random Toad that I mentioned earlier, go through plenty of different rounds through plenty of different tree trunks, match up plenty of different monsters together while trying to connect them to the falling bombs, gather up plenty of the coins that will fall down when you win so you could feel better about yourself, then turn off the game and go back to playing Tetris, because why would you bother playing this when Tetris is right there. It is a very simple puzzle game with some neat ideas, and its got the visuals and music to back it up for a good while, but like I mentioned before, not only is the game not really exciting or rewarding enough to where you wanna keep going for hours on end, but there are also somethings in general that are just holding it back.

Unlike many other puzzle games, where you take control of either the pieces or some other aspect of the game to get the pieces to match up, you actually take control of Toad himself, running around in these tree trunks and matching up all of the monsters and bombs yourself. This, in all honesty, is actually a pretty neat idea, and it does make you think differently about how to approach this type of game, since before things start falling down on top of you, you can actually move around the monsters that you are trying to clear out so that you can get rid of them pretty quickly, which is very helpful at times. It also helps that you can also do several things with Toad that you wouldn’t be able to do in other puzzle games, like climbing up columns of monsters to get to the other side of them, or kicking certain pieces across the board, which is neat. And of course, like any good puzzle game, there is a two player vs. mode, where you and a friend can battle it out to see which one of you is the best monster exterminator of them all, and while I myself didn’t try out this mode, I imagine it is the best way to experience a game like this.

Unfortunately, just like with some of the other Mario spin-off puzzle games I have covered on this website, there just isn’t that much here for me to really call this a bonafide classic puzzle game for the NES. It just doesn’t have that same kind of addicting and engaging feel that other puzzle games like Tetris or Dr. Mario has, and as such, it once again can’t keep me really all that interested or excited to play it for more than five minutes. Not to mention, while the idea of controlling an actual character in a puzzle game like this is neat in theory, but in practice, it is kinda sloppy. Sure, you can pull off a lot of maneuvers you wouldn’t be able to otherwise, but you also get plenty of restrictions, like not being able to climb up monsters while you are holding something, which makes the gameplay even more tedious, and the direction in which you pick up things can also take some getting used to. It isn’t impossible to get a handle of, but it is just a little frustrating to do so.

Overall, despite some neat ideas and having all of the elements present for a great time, Wario’s Woods is yet another incredibly forgettable puzzle game from the NES, doing the bare minimum for a title from this genre, and providing a good amount of fun for the time that it lasts, but there just isn’t enough there to keep the average puzzle enthusiast entertained for too long before wanting to move onto something else. I would recommend it for those who are fans of puzzle games, as well as those who were fans of games like Yoshi or Yoshi’s Cookie, but other than that, you would be much better off sticking to much better alternatives that were already out by this point. Not only that, but Wario should also stick to platforming, as he just isn’t cut out for the puzzle lifestyle. I mean, what other kind of weird, out of pocket shit could he pull off other than that? I guess it will remain a mystery… anyway, I wonder what Bomberman is up to?

Game #534

While Nintendo was never afraid of experimenting with Mario's identity, providing numerous detours in aesthetic and thematic imagery just by jumping from SMB1 to SMB3, Super Mario Land definitely earns its distinction of being "the weird one".

It interprets the plumber's magical landscape as one filled with ancient history and sci-fi cultural artifacts from our own planet that somehow feel more alien than what the Mushroom World has accustomed us to. There is definitely something very otherwordly and dreamlike about starting a level with the implication that Mario arrived on a UFO and that the enemies you will be facing are Easter Island face fellas, and the changes made to accomodate the limitations of the hardware, such as the exploding turtles and the bouncing ball power up, further elevate Super Mario Land's odd quirky vibe.

What I love the most about it though is its brevity. Low of difficulty and brisk paced, Super Mario Land is beatable under 30 minutes with little chance for game overs and with enough variety sprinkled inbetween that makes picking it up for a high score attempt highly leasurable and absolve it of the settling monotony that plagues the repeating assets and levels from SMB1. Add to that the beautifuly simplistic monochrome sprite line work and eternal earworm tunes that will never leave your head for all of your life and I'm very tempted to call it a perfect game, despite its lackluster platforming physics. A priveledged Mario that preceeds its own brand, that's pretty neat.

Try not to feel joy while listening to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f1I1i_t94E&ab_channel=GilvaSunner%3AArchive