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This review contains spoilers

Xenogears - as a piece of art - is incomplete. It’s a game defined by a tragic story of a development cycle that continued to never sway in its favor. Yet it’s exactly through that that Xenogears is as fascinating as it is. You can never truly separate art from its process of creation. Whether intentionally or not, it will always find itself manifested somehow in the final work. It is an unavoidable effect of the fact that creating art is projecting yourself onto a blank canvas.

The main and underlying theme of the game is that we, as people, cannot be complete. Everyone is flawed in some way. No-one is ever truly ‘whole’, and you can never truly become that. Instead, Xenogears suggests that everyone is an imperfect half, made to be complimented by another imperfect half. The main visual symbol for this theme are the statues of the one-winged angels. Two religious symbols of imperfection, existing to fill in each other’s flaws by helping each other, and being there for one another.

This theme is also explored in the game’s most iconic scene, that being Adrift at sea where Fei and Elly, upon becoming stranded together, share a moment of introspection. The introspection intentionally omits any dialogue boxes or signs of who is talking, because the scene is wholly universal to the both of them. It is what they both needed to hear at that exact time. They feel happy to help each other, both through their mutual introspection, as well as through the sharing of rations.

"It's okay to not be 'whole'. Even if you only feel partly complete, if you repeat that enough, eventually it'll be 'whole'. A part... is better than zero."

Yet I’ve always found that even stronger than any narrative symbol for the game’s themes, is the nature of the game’s release itself. Xenogears was dealt a bad hand by Square Enix. Initially rejected from being Final Fantasy VII in favor of Yoshinori Kitase’s game, and then rushed through development and faced with a difficult choice. Tetsuya Takahashi was told that he could either release disk one as a separate game, then pray for a sequel that would most likely never come to be, or rush disk two and release it in an incomplete state. He chose the latter, and while I believe he made the right choice, he has clearly been haunted by it ever since.

A game about imperfect halves ended up being forced to have half of it utterly incomplete. Disk two is extremely rough around the edges. Its balancing is all over the place, it omits most gameplay and opts instead to describe what happens over text, it never has any time to focus on anything else than what is most important. It’s a rushed effort for the sake of completing an ambitious vision that was not allowed to come to light.

Coming back to the game’s relation to FFVII, I find that both games are completely inseparable. I don’t think you can earnestly analyze one without connecting it to the other. Perhaps exactly because they were both initially supposed to be the same game, they hold a lot of connections with each other, be they narrative, thematic, or general execution. Both games are perfect companion pieces for each other, and playing both of them in close vicinity of one another sheds so much insight into the inner workings of both games. Once again, two imperfect halves filling each other in to make one another more ‘whole’.

But there is also a much more cynical way of looking at this. When asked in an interview which character Takahashi relates most to, he answered that it’s Ramsus. While at first this seems like a very funny answer, it makes a lot of sense if you consider it in the context of the game’s fate. Ramsus was created to be a perfect being. He was created by Krelian to become the contact, and to kill and replace Emperor Cain. In the end, however, Ramsus was a scrapped project in favor of Fei, who showed much more promise as the contact. Ramsus came into the world as an imperfect existence, replaced by Fei since birth, and only finds solace in the idea of killing Fei to prove his status as an ultimate existence.

Ramsus IS Xenogears, and Fei is Final Fantasy VII. And if you will humor me to take this analogy further, Krelian is Square Enix. Xenogears too was a promising concept, in the end replaced in favor of its peer. Xenogears too was forced to come in as an imperfect existence, completely and utterly overshadowed by what ultimately became the biggest JRPG to ever exist. Ramsus is a character that is essential to understanding the whole of Xenogears, because his character is Takahashi’s spite and resentment towards both Square Enix and Final Fantasy VII projecting directly onto a canvas.

I’ve often pondered the hypothetical of “What if Xenogears DID get to release as Final Fantasy VII” and wholeheartedly I believe that it would have the same amount of influence as FFVII did. That influence would just be taken in a different direction. Xenogears and FFVII share so much between each other that I do sincerely believe that the reception of XG as FFVII would not be much different from what FFVII ended up receiving. Of course, there is no way to prove this. This is a mere hypothetical decided by a lot of different factors. Maybe Xenogears wouldn’t have succeeded as FFVII, maybe it would. Regardless, the sheer idea that this beautiful game could have had the same amount of influence, is ultimately extremely tragic, and I think this is definitely something that was on Takahashi’s mind. Once again, not unlike the relationship Ramsus and Fei have over the course of the game.

Entertaining the idea of Krelian as Square Enix is admittedly a humorous one, because it’s so scathingly spiteful. Krelian doesn’t care about any of his creations. He’s willing to make anyone suffer for his own benefit, and no amount of human pain is ever too much if it means achieving his goal. He actively experiments on humans, then feeds said humans to other people. He is a mad scientist who has no qualms about robbing people of their lives and transforming them into monsters. He doesn’t care about his creations in the slightest bit. When he scraps using Ramsus as the contact for the sake of Fei, he does it directly in front of him, and acknowledges that he’s already able to understand everything he is saying. Was this how Takahashi felt being told about the promise of Final Fantasy VII as his vision was being actively shut down? There is no way to know for sure, but I like to imagine it this way.

It’s truly no wonder that Takahashi has spent the rest of his career attempting to recapture and remake Xenogears. The Xenoblade series so actively attempts to finish the vision he never got to accomplish with Gears. Across the entire series, there are so many major parallels, often down to following the exact same plot points. Takahashi is by all means a successful creative nowadays. Xenoblade Chronicles is an enormous JRPG series, respected over the entire world. That in turn shows just how deep the scars caused by Xenogears go. Even Xenoblade 3, the big conclusion to his series, ended up being about finishing his vision for Xenogears. The parallels between N and Lacan are really not hard to spot, with some segments between the two being nigh identical.

On the other hand, I do find it important to mention that Xenoblade Chronicles 3 contains a direct reference to Final Fantasy VII. Towards the end of the game, Noah can be seen standing in front of a skyscraper much in the same composition as the iconic cover of FFVII. Referencing a game that ruined everything for him in a wholly respectful way feels really cool, and possibly means he no longer holds feelings of resentment towards the game that doomed his own project. Whether this is an empty homage or proof that Takahashi has let go, who can truly know, but I would rather believe the latter.

Xenogears is a beautiful and massive game that can be analyzed under so many lenses. There is sincerely so much to talk about with this game. With this essay, I purely just wanted to focus on what I always found to be most fascinating about it. Going back to my initial thesis: art cannot be separated from its creation process. Takahashi’s frustrations, his sadness, his anger, it all comes through in the game. Disk two is not finished, and it’s not even conventionally good, in spite of containing a lot of the game’s best scenes. But that only makes the game so much more beautiful in my eyes. Xenogears managed to become its own self serving proof of its themes.

Xenogears is incomplete. Xenogears is not whole, and will never be whole. Xenogears was robbed of its chance to be huge.

And yet, if you look at it just right, Xenogears is perfect.

There is no other game that I have played that makes me feel the way that Fallout 4 makes me feel. I feel so lonely but also so extremely immersed when exploring the wasteland. Turning on the radio and killing creatures, stealing from people, base building, the story, the silly little glitches that happen here and there along with the many other features that make this game so amazing to me. This is my favorite Fallout game in the franchise and It's a really amazing experience when you don't have a New Vegas super fan screaming in your ear that the game is bad. Mods also take this game to a whole other level and I highly recommend.

wish mr x would punch my face in

wish nemesis would [REDACTED]

I cannot emphasize enough how important Ys Seven is as a game. Ys Seven is a game that took what made Ys so endearing from prior titles and transitioned amazingly to a 3D environment telling a beautiful and personal story while drawing out the best aspects of Adol's journey. Fueled by Enami's stunning art and Falcom Sound Team's timeless composers, Ys Seven delivers an experience that oozes nothing less than passion and love for the franchise. Add to this Altago, teased as far back as Ys I's manual, which finally comes to fruition through its memorable characters and jaw-dropping settings. Ys Seven is easily one of my favorite entries in this franchise allowing you to regale an adventure so purely Ys it keeps drawing you back for more. It's a game that I think everyone should play, fan or otherwise. Seven is easily one of Adol's most memorable adventures and so important to who he is and what "Ys" as a series means.

wish I was a jill sandwich

wish wesker would give me his death stare

Ys II takes everything about Ys I that worked and dials it up by 100. It's a phenomenal sequel with a grandiose scale that keeps you begging for more. As the starting point of Adol's adventure, it embodies Ys at its core and gives insight into the fundamental aspects of this franchise that continue to persist to this day. It's an excellent game and nothing short of it. I mean.. it's Ys, it's going to be a 5/5.

That next part is about to be magical omg

Girls Frontline is a franchise that has meant a lot to me over the last ~7 years. I distinctly remember the announcement of Codename: Bakery Girl remake in January 2018 and being filled with indescribable excitement at the idea of that game being fully realized. It has been almost 6 years since and I can say with no uncertainty that this game surpassed my expectations and is one of the best games I have ever played.

Reverse Collapse takes the original Codename: Bakery Girl and elevates it to an entirely new level. It is a phenomenal remake that surpasses the original in every regard. Every character, story beat, dialogue, interaction, character sprite, artwork, CG, soundtrack, and map/level design is filled with love and attention. You can feel the passion and love for this franchise oozing through every second of this adventure. It is filled with authentic zeal to tell its story reminiscent of Bakehouse and ambition to deliver an engaging experience reminiscent of Codename: Bakery Girl. It is the best parts of Girls Frontline, Girls Frontline: Neural Cloud, Girls Frontline 2, the original Bakehouse, and Codename: Bakery Girl. It is a love letter not only to this franchise and its original vision but also to the fans who have and continue to dedicate themselves to one of the most ambitious stories told.

It's amazing just how deeply I fell in love with the cast: Mendo, Jefuty, Atena, Jevon, and Carl are all such charismatic characters. I can genuinely say I love them all. Jefuty and Mendo in particular are so phenomenal, presenting such engaging chemistry that you can't help but root for them through each story beat. I thoroughly enjoyed the villains and each twist and turn through the Caucasus Mountain region. I loved all the collectibles referencing older characters or events. I loved all the confidential files that took advantage of Girls Frontline's amazing and intricate world. I cannot stress enough how excited I was seeing certain entries. I loved seeing the culmination of this journey and wish so desperately I could experience it for the first time again.

I could go on and on and on and on about Reverse Collapse but ultimately, Reverse Collapse is a game about love, sacrifice, hope, despair, and unyielding determination. It is about doing right by those you love and choosing the impossible, enduring unending tragedy so those you love can live happily and freely. It is a beautiful story about choice and the consequences of it.

To Yuzhong, to Shaonian, to MICA and its talented devs, to XD and everyone involved in this project thank you for delivering an experience so beautiful it will remain with me for years.

And once more to Yuzhong, and MICA, thank you so much for continually writing stories that resonate with so many people. Thank you for Girls Frontline, Neural Cloud, Reverse Collapse and all the stories you've shared in this beautiful world you've crafted.